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Dating Thread - “As the World Turns” edition


Chataya de Fleury

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12 hours ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

Doesn't sound like that one is going anywhere, anytime soon.

Either she needs you to boost her confidence, it's always nice to be wanted (Am I still attractive, that guy from work is always flirty?)

Or she's not looking for anything serious now, with her rather recent divorce and kids attached.

Either way, I'd consider it a write off at that point.

Oh it's 100% a write off. Has been for a while. I just find it odd that she ghosted me and then still tries to flirt with me after the fact while I'm not giving much of anything in return. 

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1 hour ago, Tywin et al. said:

I just find it odd that she ghosted me and then still tries to flirt with me after the fact while I'm not giving much of anything in return.

If flirting was the status quo beforehand that may just be how she feels most comfortable to avoid awkwardness.  At least that's the conclusion I came to in a somewhat analogous situation.

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35 minutes ago, DMC said:

If flirting was the status quo beforehand that may just be how she feels most comfortable to avoid awkwardness.  At least that's the conclusion I came to in a somewhat analogous situation.

Normally I'd agree, but she comes to my shared office still now and then unannounced and randomly texts me, but then doesn't reply after I get back to her. It would make a lot more sense if we just bumped into one another in the shared cafeteria and acted like adults and just had a conversation for a bit then went on our separate ways, but even when that does happen she's still super flirty while I'm giving just the bare minimum. I mean shit, I was giving back more to the bi guy hitting on me at the food truck I grabbed dinner at tonight than I've given her in ages. You'd think I was the one who ghosted her. 

And she did text me exactly how she wanted me to fuck her several times, so that probably qualifies a bit more than just flirting.

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3 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

And she did text me exactly how she wanted me to fuck her several times, so that probably qualifies a bit more than just flirting.

Well, yeah I'd say so then.  I agree that qualifies as more than flirting.

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that probably qualifies a bit more than just flirting

consult with an attorney who is licensed to practice within the relevant jurisdiction.  you may have a meritorious claim for breach of erotic contract. most attorneys handle these on an hourly rate basis, rather than a flat fee.  it can't be contingency because the remedy is specific performance.

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7 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

Normally I'd agree, but she comes to my shared office still now and then unannounced and randomly texts me, but then doesn't reply after I get back to her. It would make a lot more sense if we just bumped into one another in the shared cafeteria and acted like adults and just had a conversation for a bit then went on our separate ways, but even when that does happen she's still super flirty while I'm giving just the bare minimum. I mean shit, I was giving back more to the bi guy hitting on me at the food truck I grabbed dinner at tonight than I've given her in ages. You'd think I was the one who ghosted her. 

And she did text me exactly how she wanted me to fuck her several times, so that probably qualifies a bit more than just flirting.

The mixed messages sound like she either doesn’t really know what she wants, doesn’t know you’re seeing her interaction as flirtatious, or is someone who prefers to keep it in a fantasy/imagined scenario and enjoys flirting, but maybe doesn’t want to take it past that stage (I mean, I’ve sent some texts that my ass wasn’t able to cash, usually when I was drinking). 

Is it a situation where you feel comfortable being explicit and saying “I’m confused, and I want to understand this”? It sounds like you’re not giving much back to her, because of how the talk and walk don’t match.

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11 hours ago, sologdin said:

1% chance something serious came up and she just hasn't had a chance to get back to me

am advising against this interpretation. it leads inexorably to--

do not be fucking lloyd.  better is the interpretation that your time is important and this person wasted it. accordingly she's toast.

Oh absolutely. Even in the one-in-a-million scenario I'd have expected a last minute apology/explanation. She's in the past now. Only remaining as yet another faint memory of why I hate online dating.

Although, toxic relationships also suck, so on balance I'm better off now than I was before; and that's not even counting the fact that I definitely would've gotten COVID from my last girlfriend if we were still together during the pandemic.

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2 hours ago, sologdin said:

that probably qualifies a bit more than just flirting

consult with an attorney who is licensed to practice within the relevant jurisdiction.  you may have a meritorious claim for breach of erotic contract. most attorneys handle these on an hourly rate basis, rather than a flat fee.  it can't be contingency because the remedy is specific performance.

Or find an attorney willing to go pro boner, maybe a young associate hoping to make partner.

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51 minutes ago, Fez said:

Oh absolutely. Even in the one-in-a-million scenario I'd have expected a last minute apology/explanation. She's in the past now. Only remaining as yet another faint memory of why I hate online dating.

Personal experience has been that online dates are like job applications - the resume and phone screen (profile and messaging) help with making sure that it’s not a waste of both parties’ time, but the interview is pretty key.  And not showing up is pretty telling of character and future behavior.

To stretch the analogy, I always feel like the first few interviews are the most difficult/seem to require you to get back into the mindset.

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Well, Peebs broke it off, in a way that was of course attempting to be as verbally hurtful as possible. (This no longer works on me because I’ve gotten a fairly thick skin after being on the market as long as I’ve been. Also, I recognize his insults have more to do with his own insecurities than about me).

My major sin? I did not wish him a happy birthday on his birthday. 
 

Now I have to figure out what to do with the flights I’ve booked to Palm Beach in November and December. F***. 
 

ETA - I am actually super pissed about the Palm Beach flights, because one of those reservations was changing an existing trip home from a business trip and it is a 6 am flight and FUCK HIM.

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2 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Well, Peebs broke it off, in a way that was of course attempting to be as verbally hurtful as possible. (This no longer works on me because I’ve gotten a fairly thick skin after being on the market as long as I’ve been. Also, I recognize his insults have more to do with his own insecurities than about me).

My major sin? I did not wish him a happy birthday on his birthday. 
 

Now I have to figure out what to do with the flights I’ve booked to Palm Beach in November and December. F***. 
 

ETA - I am actually super pissed about the Palm Beach flights, because one of those reservations was changing an existing trip home from a business trip and it is a 6 am flight and FUCK HIM.

I seriously doubt there is a lack of men in Palm Beach. However when one factors in age and likeability, I am sure the numbers do go down but the number is still probably in the 4 to 5 digit range. I do hope something works out for you.

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6 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Well, Peebs broke it off, in a way that was of course attempting to be as verbally hurtful as possible. (This no longer works on me because I’ve gotten a fairly thick skin after being on the market as long as I’ve been. Also, I recognize his insults have more to do with his own insecurities than about me).

My major sin? I did not wish him a happy birthday on his birthday. 
 

Now I have to figure out what to do with the flights I’ve booked to Palm Beach in November and December. F***. 
 

ETA - I am actually super pissed about the Palm Beach flights, because one of those reservations was changing an existing trip home from a business trip and it is a 6 am flight and FUCK HIM.

He was terrible anyway- palm beach has to have lots of fun pool boys for you

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6 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Well, Peebs broke it off, in a way that was of course attempting to be as verbally hurtful as possible. (This no longer works on me because I’ve gotten a fairly thick skin after being on the market as long as I’ve been. Also, I recognize his insults have more to do with his own insecurities than about me).

My major sin? I did not wish him a happy birthday on his birthday. 
 

Now I have to figure out what to do with the flights I’ve booked to Palm Beach in November and December. F***. 
 

ETA - I am actually super pissed about the Palm Beach flights, because one of those reservations was changing an existing trip home from a business trip and it is a 6 am flight and FUCK HIM.

Pretty sure you could find somebody who can abuse verbally at least as well, maybe even better.

I think the happy birthday on his birthday is kinda redundant, when else to wish him a happy birthday, international dog day? It's international dog day, so happy birthday to you! The more I think about it, the more like the concept tho. Maybe we should all wish each other a happy birthday more often. Kids come knocking at the door on Halloween? Happy Birthday! Here have some candy with razors in it, and happy birthday to you, too.

Either way, maybe you can hook up with Florida MD, and wish him a happy birthday.  So let me close this post with a quote from Mark Twain.

Happy birthday!

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6 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Well, Peebs broke it off, in a way that was of course attempting to be as verbally hurtful as possible. (This no longer works on me because I’ve gotten a fairly thick skin after being on the market as long as I’ve been. Also, I recognize his insults have more to do with his own insecurities than about me).

My major sin? I did not wish him a happy birthday on his birthday. 
 

Now I have to figure out what to do with the flights I’ve booked to Palm Beach in November and December. F***. 
 

ETA - I am actually super pissed about the Palm Beach flights, because one of those reservations was changing an existing trip home from a business trip and it is a 6 am flight and FUCK HIM.

What a childish man-person.  So many red flags and so many obvious different retorts to someone so insecure, involving birthday candles and injectables.

Anyone (maybe excluding children) who has strong opinions about how someone else feels about their birthday is a wart on society’s pee-hole. 

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Yeah if it came to the point that I had to inject someone in the dick, we would just take sex off the table. That's a hard no from me!!

Also, sorry to hear that Chats, but no major loss. PB sounded like a Grade A Asshole. Though to his very slight credit, I do not think it is a small deal to not wish someone that you are seeing a happy birthday. Still, you are WELL rid of him!!

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3 hours ago, kairparavel said:

@Chataya de Fleury

It's super unfortunate that your freezer died, spoiling everything in it.

I wish. I was a good Stepford Girlfriend, making sure that the freezer pack was frozen  and that I packed his meds properly.

Though I made sure that I took the needles and alcohol prep pads out of my Dior bag that I had put them in and just shoved them into the outer bag of the freezer package.

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4 hours ago, Starkess said:

Yeah if it came to the point that I had to inject someone in the dick, we would just take sex off the table. That's a hard no from me!!

Also, sorry to hear that Chats, but no major loss. PB sounded like a Grade A Asshole. Though to his very slight credit, I do not think it is a small deal to not wish someone that you are seeing a happy birthday. Still, you are WELL rid of him!!

To my credit, I thought of it at every point during the afternoon but he literally told me not to text him because he was spending the day with Wife#3 except for the doctor visit and med drop off.

so fuck him. 
 

when I reminded him that I told him that he told me not to text him, he told me I was as full of shit as a whorehouse.

I am tempted to keep these flights to Palm Beach and find someone else who can get me in as a guest to the Bath and Tennis Club just to make him squirm.

I also have a copy of the Social Register and I have Wife’s phone number; I should really call her but I won’t, because that is just not done. 

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20 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

he told me I was as full of shit as a whorehouse.

Granted, my knowledge of whorehouses is very limited, but I don't even understand that insult.  Do whorehouses commonly have backed up toilets or something?

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