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Chataya de Fleury

Dating Thread - “As the World Turns” edition

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OK...I have been manic lately and have made a gang of dating site accounts.  I am addicted to the endless profile after profile after profile.  I have signed up with Tinder amongst others.  On Tinder I was getting matched instantly at three in the morning.  The site is just weirding me out a little.  Am I over thinking this or what?  There is a woman talking to me right now who hit me up the second I logged in on my new profile.  I am a little intimidated.  How did she match me that quickly?  Also...and this sounds terrible I know...but the level of overall attractiveness of the profiles I am being offered is significantly higher than any other site I have tried.  That makes me feel it isn't legitimate.  I don't know.  This woman says I should tell her about myself and she'll go next.

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12 hours ago, Inkdaub said:

OK...I have been manic lately and have made a gang of dating site accounts.  I am addicted to the endless profile after profile after profile.  I have signed up with Tinder amongst others.  On Tinder I was getting matched instantly at three in the morning.  The site is just weirding me out a little.  Am I over thinking this or what?  There is a woman talking to me right now who hit me up the second I logged in on my new profile.  I am a little intimidated.  How did she match me that quickly?  Also...and this sounds terrible I know...but the level of overall attractiveness of the profiles I am being offered is significantly higher than any other site I have tried.  That makes me feel it isn't legitimate.  I don't know.  This woman says I should tell her about myself and she'll go next.

Well if its matched instantly and you get effectively instant responses that upon further review have nothing specifically tied back to what you posted, likely a bot.

Lots of bots on tinder.  Less so if you always just swipe left on profiles with only pro photo quality.  

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16 minutes ago, mcbigski said:

Well if its matched instantly and you get effectively instant responses that upon further review have nothing specifically tied back to what you posted, likely a bot.

Lots of bots on tinder. 

Agreed. 

I actually had my photos stolen by someone and used on a Tinder profile. I reported it. There are bots out there - not every good-looking woman is a bot, regardless of photo quality - but instant responses with vagueness and not related to what you are saying, @Inkdaub, is a giveaway.

Be very vague in your response. You like dogs and long walks on the beach, or some crap like that. See what the response is.

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On 9/8/2021 at 8:42 PM, DMC said:

I'd never marry a woman unless she understood multiple regression.

5 hours ago, IheartIheartTesla said:

I had the same opinion, except about being able to solve Schrodinger's equation for a particle in a box, but that cat's out of the err.. box at this point.

My partner is a data scientist with a PhD in astrophysics so believe me, I feel you!

 

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12 hours ago, mcbigski said:

likely a bot

I didn't even think of this.  She said she was a cardiologist from Belgrade.  We have lost contact. 

 

12 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

instant responses with vagueness and not related to what you are saying, @Inkdaub, is a giveaway.

She responded to the initial greeting portion and then became more general.  She did describe herself a bit.

This happened within minutes of my signing up.  The site was showing me as being in New Zealand and wouldn't correct itself.  It seemed to know where I really was, the profiles were local, but listed New Zealand in several areas including the area where you pay to see the blurry pics of people who like you.  I looked up the faq and support page and decided to just delete my account and then open it again.  I did and it no longer had me as a Kiwi but also my true love was gone and my blurry pics.

I am not totally sound mentally and emotionally and it's likely I shouldn't be on these sites right now.  I read that I shouldn't mention anything like that in a profile.  I don't want to misrepresent myself, though.  I tried looking for sites where mental/emotional issues were more acknowledged and I found one and signed up...you can probably see where this is going.  The place is very quiet with a group of creeps milling about.  I looked it up and the info was not good.  There was several complaints that the webmaster would flirt with any women and if they didn't respond he would ban them or some such shady behavior.  Also read that what little activity they had was of the incel variety. 

These Tinder pics are still pretty good.  These poor girls, I am old and dull with mood disorders and a wallet that features the White Tree of Gondor. 

  

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1 hour ago, Inkdaub said:

I am old and dull with mood disorders and a wallet that features the White Tree of Gondor.  

Don't do this to yourself.  You are you, you have some problems and you like the thinks you like, just like everybody.  Life is hard enough without beating yourself down. 

As for the rest, I'm sorry that you're having some trouble with the dating apps.  My dating days had some internet sites, but that was pre-tinder, and that was hard enough.  Good luck!

Edited by Maithanet

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Thank you for saying so.  I will be alright with it.  I still think I should go for honesty in my profile rather than a sales pitch but who knows.

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17 hours ago, IheartIheartTesla said:

I had the same opinion, except about being able to solve Schrodinger's equation for a particle in a box, but that cat's out of the err.. box at this point.

DSolve? :ninja:

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42 minutes ago, Inkdaub said:

Thank you for saying so.  I will be alright with it.  I still think I should go for honesty in my profile rather than a sales pitch but who knows.

Showing the best side of yourself isn't lying.  You want to meet someone that helps you be the best person that you can be, so give them an idea of what that person would look like. 

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Recently I read about the stats on how long term romantic couples actually meet, and despite other ways being far more studied, it was meeting as friends first that dominated.  68% of couples met as friends with no initial romantic interest, and knew each other for at least a year before anything heated up.  Another 20% became friends first because there was secretly romantic interest going on.  The remaining 12% was a long list of a dozen other ways to meet amounted to about 1-2% each.

Dating apps was the worst way to meet with the lowest probability of it resulting in a long term relationship.

There definitely been a few times I had to stop to question myself, "do I even like this woman as a person?"   I was interested in some women because they wanted to be my friend and seem to think i was cool, and getting frustrated it wasn't leading to any deeper connection.

Since I recognized that as a problem my friendships with women (and I only tend to have friendships with women these days) have improved immensely. While having fewer of them, they're deeper connections.

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On 9/9/2021 at 3:42 AM, DMC said:

I'd never marry a woman unless she understood multiple regression.

Didn't think you would go below logistic regression, even if it was just to prove that love is not a rational number. (joke for the math geeks. For the ladies who understood it, I am sure you can send your application to DMC).

Don't complain about my wingman skills.

Edited by A Horse Named Stranger

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3 hours ago, Maithanet said:

Don't do this to yourself.  You are you, you have some problems and you like the thinks you like, just like everybody.  Life is hard enough without beating yourself down. 

As for the rest, I'm sorry that you're having some trouble with the dating apps.  My dating days had some internet sites, but that was pre-tinder, and that was hard enough.  Good luck!

I am not on dating sites, and don't have anything to offer this topic except to say that this response is lovely and so true!   

Also, I would love to have a White Tree of Gondor wallet and cannot imagine anyone not wanting that.  :)

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1 hour ago, Elder Sister said:

 

Also, I would love to have a White Tree of Gondor wallet and cannot imagine anyone not wanting that.  :)

Exactly. When dating its irrelevant if 95% of people find you attractive, you only have to find the 1% of people who finds you very attractive who you feel the same about.

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4 hours ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

Didn't think you would go below logistic regression

Logit is a little too black and white when love is full of shades of grey.

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1 hour ago, DMC said:

Logit is a little too black and white when love is full of shades of grey.

Makes perfect sense in a way. Wanna go on a date with me? Yes or no.

Which group is more dateable? And don't forget, at the very bottom of this is something irrational. E

Instead you go for Multiple Regression. The sloppy seconds from the toolbox, where you only look for some significant others, after they have been controlled for their SES. That's so unromantic.

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13 minutes ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

Which group is more dateable? And don't forget, at the very bottom of this is something irrational. E

Instead you go for Multiple Regression. The sloppy seconds from the toolbox, where you only look for some significant others, after they have been controlled for their SES. That's so unromantic.

Well, seems at this point you're advocating for multinomial, or mlogit.  Frankly if we're gonna go down that path I'd prefer MLE, but I feel like we're extending the joke way too far.  Honestly just thought the term "multiple regression" in such a context was pretty funny.

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6 hours ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

Makes perfect sense in a way. Wanna go on a date with me? Yes or no.

Which group is more dateable? And don't forget, at the very bottom of this is something irrational. E

Instead you go for Multiple Regression. The sloppy seconds from the toolbox, where you only look for some significant others, after they have been controlled for their SES. That's so unromantic.

Soooo….do you have a reservation at Dorsia’s?

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I am going to regret this, possibly, perhaps, maybe.

I’m going on a road trip with him to North Carolina. 

He’s back on some smaller dose of Prozac which doesn’t make certain things easy but he doesn’t RUMINATE on minor things anymore, so major plus.

Apparently, I’m a major point of discussion with him and his psychiatrist, which at this point, I’m like, I’ll pay for the session to meet your damn psychiatrist who seems to have the worst view of a young lady 20 years younger and doesn’t seem to realize that this man can do things to make young ladies feel faint and be in need of fainting salts.

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