Did Varys originally want Tyrion dead?

[The Bard of Banefort]

11 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Do we know of Varys ever taking on someone in hand-to-hand combat who is tougher than one-handed Jaime?

That's the Watsonian explanation. The Doyleist is that GRRM is writing the series and plans things out in a way no individual character can, putting his thumb on the scale in ways no character would predict in advance.

I agree with this.  Both Varys and Littlefinger are extremely clever, but a lot of their plans rely too much on happenstance or involve too much foreknowledge to realistically work. LF’s diabolical plan for winning the Tyrells over—involving singers, servants, and guardsmen, without LF doing anything to implicate himself—was just too convenient. I don’t believe in the Dornish Master Plan, but it wouldn’t be the first far-fetched conspiracy to come to fruition in this series.

[Lord Varys]

3 hours ago, Hugorfonics said:

That is the case. Varys was not whistling and Jaime used his warrior tricks to put Varys in a compromising situation.

For the past 20 years Varys has played a dangerous game in the open, cause discord until Aegon turns 21 or some shit. So yes Varys wanted Tyrion freed, but he also wanted Ned freed and didn't do anything about that.

Varys didn't want Ned freed. If he had wanted him free, he would have freed him. Jaime doesn't know any 'warrior tricks' ... and whatever skills he had are gone after he got crippled. All he has left is the aura and the presense of a man who was once a great fighter. But that's all pretend, and smart people know that.

3 hours ago, Hugorfonics said:

Varys fears and respects Tyrion, he knows what he's capable of, it just too hot. Imp ain't worth it( honestly he shoulda never gone). But with Jaimes knife under Varys' throat the scales get shifted.  

That makes no sense at all. If Varys hadn't wanted Tyrion free, he wouldn't have freed him. And he would have destroyed both Tyrion and Jaime.

[Aejohn the Conqueroo]

15 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

That's the Watsonian explanation. The Doyleist is that GRRM is writing the series and plans things out in a way no individual character can, putting his thumb on the scale in ways no character would predict in advance.

Didn't Doyle write Watson? I'm sure Holmes would have the best explanation out of the 3 of them.

Your Doyleist isn't very fun. What's the point of trying to solve the mysteries if the answer's always the same?

[Lord Varys]

3 hours ago, The Bard of Banefort said:

I agree with this.  Both Varys and Littlefinger are extremely clever, but a lot of their plans rely too much on happenstance or involve too much foreknowledge to realistically work. LF’s diabolical plan for winning the Tyrells over—involving singers, servants, and guardsmen, without LF doing anything to implicate himself—was just too convenient. I don’t believe in the Dornish Master Plan, but it wouldn’t be the first far-fetched conspiracy to come to fruition in this series.

It is not that hard to predict that Jaime Lannister - who is known to love his dwarf brother very much - would go out of his way to try and save him. Even more so if the guy judging the character of Jaime is Varys. The guy also correctly predicted what Selmy would do after he got him fired from the KG.

[Hugorfonics]

1 hour ago, Lord Varys said:

That makes no sense at all. If Varys hadn't wanted Tyrion free, he wouldn't have freed him.

Varys wants to free Tyrion, but hed prefer not to live in the walls. Unfortunately Jaime left him with little choice 

1 hour ago, Lord Varys said:

And he would have destroyed both Tyrion and Jaime.

Varys wants to destroy Tywin and Cerseis government not Tyrion and Jaimes person.

1 hour ago, Lord Varys said:

Jaime doesn't know any 'warrior tricks' ... and whatever skills he had are gone after he got crippled.

Hes not samson. His strength is in his training, not in his hand, half a life time of training didn't evaporate. Besides, Jaime had him by surprise 

[Lord Varys]

3 minutes ago, Hugorfonics said:

Varys wants to free Tyrion, but hed prefer not to live in the walls. Unfortunately Jaime left him with little choice 

If Varys wanted to avoid living in the walls he would have done so. He had a lot of ways to prevent that fate, most notably killing Jaime, ratting out Jaime, leaving alone for Pentos, etc.

It is just inconceivable that a moron like Jaime (1) surprised Varys and (2) actually forced him to do something when he had literally no leverage over Varys.

 

[Nathan Stark]

3 minutes ago, Hugorfonics said:

Varys wants to free Tyrion, but hed prefer not to live in the walls. Unfortunately Jaime left him with little choice 

Varys wants to destroy Tywin and Cerseis government not Tyrion and Jaimes person.

Hes not samson. His strength is in his training, not in his hand, half a life time of training didn't evaporate. Besides, Jaime had him by surprise 

Jaime cannot even win a duel with his breakfast plate. The idea that he could overpower Varys, maimed as he is, is rather unlikely. You are also taking Varys's "surprise" at face value, which is never a good idea with Varys. That's my two cents.

[Hugorfonics]

2 minutes ago, Lord Varys said:

If Varys wanted to avoid living in the walls he would have done so. He had a lot of ways to prevent that fate, most notably killing Jaime

And Tywin and Cersei would question the hell outta him, because its his job to answer questions so that road looks dangerous 

3 minutes ago, Lord Varys said:

ratting out Jaime

Jaime would kill him. Maybe Cersei too in her rage, also dangerous. 

3 minutes ago, Lord Varys said:

leaving alone for Pentos, etc.

Well thats no good,  KL is where the action is, outside the walls or in em.

5 minutes ago, Lord Varys said:

It is just inconceivable that a moron like Jaime (1) surprised Varys

He may be a moron but hes a trained killer who managed to stealthy kill all of Aerys' agents, and Aerys. Hes dangerous.

7 minutes ago, Lord Varys said:

actually forced him to do something when he had literally no leverage over Varys.

Aside from the knife and the promise of execution? 

[Hugorfonics]

9 minutes ago, Nathan Stark said:

Jaime cannot even win a duel with his breakfast plate. The idea that he could overpower Varys, maimed as he is, is rather unlikely. You are also taking Varys's "surprise" at face value, which is never a good idea with Varys. That's my two cents.

The OP supplied the quote, there was no duel, just Jaime lurking in the shadows and kicking Varys to his knees

[FictionIsntReal]

On 9/25/2021 at 6:41 AM, Lord Varys said:

We can expect that he did that, since Varys survived on the streets, rose to the position of prince of thieves in Myr and later in Pentos rose again from the gutters with the help of Illyrio.

Varys survived on the street as a child prostitute, then later thief until he had to flee to Illyrio's protection. The aim of a thief is not to win fights but avoid getting caught.

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The real Varys is a ruthless, brutal guy.

Cersei & Walder Frey are ruthless in their willingness to have people killed, but that doesn't mean if a knife was directly at their own neck they'd be able to do much about it.

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We learned how ruthlessly and easily Varys and his little birds murder folks, so getting rid of Jaime would have been very easy.

Varys can plan in advance to have people murdered, that doesn't mean he can fend off attempts on his own life. There is a term "glass cannon" for something with dangerous offensive capability which is still highly vulnerable. And Varys could have arranged for Jaime to be assassinated a while later after he organized his little birds, but that's less help in the moment & later on he wasn't serving a load-bearing role like Kevan.

On 9/25/2021 at 1:38 PM, Aejohn the Conqueroo said:

Didn't Doyle write Watson? I'm sure Holmes would have the best explanation out of the 3 of them.

Your Doyleist isn't very fun. What's the point of trying to solve the mysteries if the answer's always the same?

I didn't invent the term. And I agree that if you can come up with a Watsonian explanation that's often better (Marvel used to hand out No-Prizes, and I believe GRRM won some as a youth). But sometimes none of them work nearly as well as a Doyleist one.

[The Bard of Banefort]

I personally believe that Varys' strength is his ability to think on his feet, rather than plot twelve steps ahead. I simply don't think that Varys planned on Jaime attacking him--yes, Jaime loves his brother, but he also loves Cersei and Tywin and, for all Jaime knows, Tyrion killed his son. My own read on this is that Varys saw Tyrion as too much of a wildcard at this point: even with his wit and cunning, he has always fought on the side of House Lannister, and therefore could not be trusted to support Aegon's take-over. When his plans were abruptly changed, Varys rolled the dice and hoped that Tyrion finally hated his family enough to wish for their downfall. He could always have Tyrion killed later on if he didn't.

[Lord Varys]

8 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Varys survived on the street as a child prostitute, then later thief until he had to flee to Illyrio's protection. The aim of a thief is not to win fights but avoid getting caught.

Varys was a 'prince of thieves' in Myr, meaning he wasn't just a thief but a thief running an organization of thieves. That means he somehow ended up running this organization of thieves and that, in turn, means he must have learned and known how to get rid of rivals and other enemies.

I'm not imagine Varys as a very effective fighter. But I do think is more than a capable assassin. Good enough to deal with a clumsy cripple like Jaime.

8 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Cersei & Walder Frey are ruthless in their willingness to have people killed, but that doesn't mean if a knife was directly at their own neck they'd be able to do much about it.

Cersei clearly never learned how to fight and kill, unlike Varys (presumably). And Walder Frey is an old guy. That said, Jaime the moron didn't keep the blade at Varys' neck until Tyrion had been actually freed, did he? The idea that Varys was intimidated by Jaime after Jaime had removed his blade isn't very convincing.

Even less so, considering we should assume that Varys is likely always surrounded by a group of little birds hiding in the walls who come out and defend him if he was ever in real danger.

8 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Varys can plan in advance to have people murdered, that doesn't mean he can fend off attempts on his own life. There is a term "glass cannon" for something with dangerous offensive capability which is still highly vulnerable. And Varys could have arranged for Jaime to be assassinated a while later after he organized his little birds, but that's less help in the moment & later on he wasn't serving a load-bearing role like Kevan.

Varys would have had the ability to overpower Jaime the cripple either when the latter put the dagger at his throat ... or the moment he removed it. Jaime can no longer fight properly.

7 hours ago, The Bard of Banefort said:

I personally believe that Varys' strength is his ability to think on his feet, rather than plot twelve steps ahead. I simply don't think that Varys planned on Jaime attacking him--yes, Jaime loves his brother, but he also loves Cersei and Tywin and, for all Jaime knows, Tyrion killed his son. My own read on this is that Varys saw Tyrion as too much of a wildcard at this point: even with his wit and cunning, he has always fought on the side of House Lannister, and therefore could not be trusted to support Aegon's take-over. When his plans were abruptly changed, Varys rolled the dice and hoped that Tyrion finally hated his family enough to wish for their downfall. He could always have Tyrion killed later on if he didn't.

Nobody said Varys planned for that. Rather, my idea would be that Varys expected Jaime to behave in the manner he behaved ... and I'd also expect that Varys takes steps to never be surprised in his own cell by either having the little birds check whether somebody is in there before entering ... or by checking himself.

The entire cell is just a front, so Varys actually going there may have been an invitation for Jaime to attack him.

Varys didn't see Tyrion as a wildcard. He would have overheard what Jaime told Tyrion about Tysha and he sent him up to Tywin's bedchamber to see Shae fucking his old man. Varys very much ensured that Tyrion's ties with House Lannister were severed completely. Even if Tyrion hadn't heard the Tysha story or hadn't killed Tywin - Varys could have still framed him for the Tywin murder if he had decided to kill Tywin himself. And in any case, Tyrion is a convicted kingslayer. He is done in Westeros.

And they are severed. Tyrion might still sort of love Jaime ... but he will never again defend him or Cersei or the house as such against their enemies like he did back in ACoK. This doesn't mean he will or has to murder them - or authorize or command their execution. But he will do his best to destroy them.

[FictionIsntReal]

16 hours ago, Lord Varys said:

I do think is more than a capable assassin. Good enough to deal with a clumsy cripple like Jaime.

An assassin could plot to take out someone unawares, but again that wouldn't mean they'd be able to fend off attempts against their own life.

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Cersei clearly never learned how to fight and kill, unlike Varys (presumably).

You are presuming, because the text never indicates he has ever engaged in any hand-to-hand fighting.

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we should assume that Varys is likely always surrounded by a group of little birds hiding in the walls who come out and defend him if he was ever in real danger.

There's no indication of them ever serving such a defensive role, not that children would really be well suited for it. He uses them as spies, and spies are normally sent to watch over where other people are expected to be.

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Jaime can no longer fight properly.

He's outmatched against actual knights with swords, which Varys isn't.

[Lord Varys]

8 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

An assassin could plot to take out someone unawares, but again that wouldn't mean they'd be able to fend off attempts against their own life.

Jaimes wasn't trying to murder Varys. He just intimidated him. And Varys must have dealt with such bullies throughout his entire childhood and youth. The idea that a clumsy cripple like Jaime - who wanted something from him - could ever truly intimidate or frighten him doesn't make much sense.

Varys must know how to deal with guys like Jaime, guys who want to intimidate, threaten, rob, etc. him.

8 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

You are presuming, because the text never indicates he has ever engaged in any hand-to-hand fighting.

The text doesn't have to indicate this. Varys rose through the ranks in a criminal environment from the position of homeless eunuch slave to prince of thieves in Myr and then later he had similar career in Pentos after he teamed up with Illyrio. You do not succeed at that if you know how to turn the table on your opponents, especially such who try to use intimidation or brute force on you. Nor do you succeed at that if you don't know how to murder folks quickly and efficiently.

I mean, Varys' early life seems to be comparable to Arya's life after she escaped. Okay, he also worked as a child prostitute, but it is a rather steep rise from whore boy to prince of thieves. He would have to remove a lot of obstacles in his path.

In a sense, you have to imagine Varys (and Illyrio, too) as George's versions of those guys from mobster movies who rise from very humble beginnings to the very top of society. And none of those folks had success because they didn't know how to use violence ... or only succeeded because other people did their violence for them. When Varys teamed up with Illyrio, Illyrio would have done some of the violent stuff for them - but he was also the respectable front of their business, meaning that Varys likely was the one who captured, tortured, and killed the rivals and enemies they made as they rose to the top of Pentoshi society. Illyrio couldn't have become a magister of Pentos if had been a brutal thug throughout his entire career.

8 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

There's no indication of them ever serving such a defensive role, not that children would really be well suited for it. He uses them as spies, and spies are normally sent to watch over where other people are expected to be.

The little birds are the ones who finally kill Kevan. They know how to use weapons and they know how to kill. They are clearly trained for that job, too. That we have only seen them doing this once doesn't mean they haven't been always there prepared to intervene if somebody were to try to kill Varys.

8 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

He's outmatched against actual knights with swords, which Varys isn't.

No. Jaime is a clumsy cripple who can no longer dress himself or eat properly at table. He is as incapable of doing things as any person losing their right hand who have done literally everything with that hand are. Jaime never intimidated or threatened somebody with a dagger in his left hand. He most likely never used his left hand to attack or stab anyone. The idea that he truly could intimidate a person like Varys in this shape is just not very convincing.

Even less so in light of the fact that we get the entire scene only in Jaime's memory. We learn what happened completely filtered through Jaime's mind, not as a proper chapter but only as a memory. That means that the person telling us Varys was intimidated is Jaime Lannister - and Jaime Lannister is a political moron, a fool who believes Cersei loves him the way he loves her, who thinks Littlefinger would be a great Hand for Tommen in AFfC, etc. The guy is pretty much wax in Varys' hands.

[FictionIsntReal]

4 hours ago, Lord Varys said:

Varys must know how to deal with guys like Jaime, guys who want to intimidate, threaten, rob, etc. him.

The way self-defense instructors recommend dealing with a mugger is... to just hand over your wallet, since it's not worth risking your life.

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Nor do you succeed at that if you don't know how to murder folks quickly and efficiently.

We do know he's had people murdered... but not people who even knew he was there.

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I mean, Varys' early life seems to be comparable to Arya's life after she escaped.

Arya is training in an assassin cult, who are explicitly said to not be thieves. There are no "princes" among them, they are Nobody.

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In a sense, you have to imagine Varys (and Illyrio, too) as George's versions of those guys from mobster movies who rise from very humble beginnings to the very top of society.

The widow of the waterfront is such a person from Essos. And, like Varys, a former prostitute.

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The little birds are the ones who finally kill Kevan.

The little birds led him to Pycelle in the first place, who was already dead and served to distract Kevan from Varys shooting him with the crossbow. They did not intervene in response to Kevan threatening Varys. They gave him a mercy-killing when he was already about to die, and in the time & place Varys had planned for him to die.

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They are clearly trained for that job, too.

How much training does it require to have lot of kids stab a man already unable to stand? That wouldn't prepare them to defend Varys from an armed assailant. A bodyguard is unsuited for their job if you can just reach over their head to hit the person they are supposed to be protecting!

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Jaime never intimidated or threatened somebody with a dagger in his left hand. He most likely never used his left hand to attack or stab anyone.

I invite you to test out how difficult it would be for someone to stab you with their non-dominant hand. Although I'd recommend not using a real knife, since you will probably get injured otherwise... unless you use this Navy SEAL recommended defense technique.

[Lord Varys]

3 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

The way self-defense instructors recommend dealing with a mugger is... to just hand over your wallet, since it's not worth risking your life.

Varys isn't the apprentice of some real world self-defense instructor.

3 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

We do know he's had people murdered... but not people who even knew he was there.

Who cares? Nobody thinking about what the character of Varys might have been forced to do - or enjoyed having done - back while he was taking over criminal elements both in Myr and Pentos imagines that he was walking through non-existing secret tunnels in those cities.

3 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Arya is training in an assassin cult, who are explicitly said to not be thieves. There are no "princes" among them, they are Nobody.

Arya murdered quite a few people long before she joined the Faceless Men. Equally, we would expect Varys have to hurt, beat up, torture, maim, and murder quite a few people or not become the prince of thieves nor running a very profitable spy network in Pentos.

3 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

The widow of the waterfront is such a person from Essos. And, like Varys, a former prostitute.

The Widow of the Waterfront married a powerful and wealthy member of the old blood. She had sufficient wealth to build her own organization. Varys never married a rich guy.

3 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

The little birds led him to Pycelle in the first place, who was already dead and served to distract Kevan from Varys shooting him with the crossbow. They did not intervene in response to Kevan threatening Varys. They gave him a mercy-killing when he was already about to die, and in the time & place Varys had planned for him to die.

Stop inventing things. Two little birds interacted with Kevan, the rest was in the walls. And they may have been there the entire time, waiting for Varys' command to come out ... or to come out on their own if Varys was in danger.

An army of small children with sharp daggers would make short work out of a helpless cripple like Jaime. Even more so, if some of them also had crossbows.

3 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

I invite you to test out how difficult it would be for someone to stab you with their non-dominant hand. Although I'd recommend not using a real knife, since you will probably get injured otherwise... unless you use this Navy SEAL recommended defense technique.

The point being here is that Jaime is a very clumsy cripple lacking his dominant hand. A cripple who likely never used his left hand to stab anyone and who clearly did not expect Varys to fight back. If Varys had fought he would have quickly overpowered Jaime. We cannot imagine Varys as a guy who never got the better on people trying to stab him in this or that brawl in shady places. And again - Jaime is just a clumsy cripple. He is no longer a great fighter. He was, in essence, just his hand. He is pretty much nothing without it, especially at that point in the story.

[Jaenara Belarys]

We have the expert here, let's ask Varys himself. *Cue laughing at bad joke. 

 

I've never heard of Varys whistling, so him doing so now is strange. However, how is Varys supposed to know that Tyrion would want to kill his father? His hate's mostly been focused on Cersei. And unless he's magic, how does he know Shae is in Lord Tywin's bed? 

[FictionIsntReal]

On 9/28/2021 at 5:33 PM, Lord Varys said:

Varys isn't the apprentice of some real world self-defense instructor.

Indeed, I think he'd be worse at defending himself against a knife attack than such an apprentice. He's been spending decades on the Small Council and I don't think anyone was practicing defense drills with him during that time.

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Stop inventing things. Two little birds interacted with Kevan

What's invented about the little birds being how Varys got Kevan to go to the intended location of his ambush at Pycelle's? Kevan went to a location Varys had prepared for him, very unlike Varys being ambushed by someone else.

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And they may have been there the entire time, waiting for Varys' command to come out ... or to come out on their own if Varys was in danger

Probably yes to the former, since that's what actually happened. The latter did not.

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An army of small children with sharp daggers would make short work out of a helpless cripple like Jaime.

If someone prepares in advance by recruiting bodyguards, it's generally not because they expect an attack from a cripple specifically. Children do not make for good bodyguards.

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Even more so, if some of them also had crossbows.

Small children are not good at loading crossbows. It's estimated you need 150 pounds of draw weight for rabbits, and humans are bigger than that. And crossbows are supposed to remain cocked only in a stationary position rather than while moving around, and keeping them cocked for a long time damages the mechanism. We see the birds with daggers while Varys himself uses the crossbow.

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who clearly did not expect Varys to fight back

A certain amount of bravery would be required for someone to do that when a knife was at their neck, and Varys isn't interested in bravely risking his life. He even tells Ned about how unfitting it would be for him to be brave.

On 9/28/2021 at 5:57 PM, Jaenara Belarys said:

I've never heard of Varys whistling

He didn't, as Hugoforonics pointed out, which is why the post which initiated this thread didn't include any such thing in the quoted section.

[Lord Varys]

12 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Indeed, I think he'd be worse at defending himself against a knife attack than such an apprentice. He's been spending decades on the Small Council and I don't think anyone was practicing defense drills with him during that time.

Barristan Selmy spend decades on the Small Council, too. He is still rather competent. George also gives us hints that Illyrio, while fat, is a trained fighter. He still walks around like a water dancer. And Varys plays the role of the effeminate eunuch. But that's not who he is. If you buy his routine, you are fooled by him, too.

12 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

What's invented about the little birds being how Varys got Kevan to go to the intended location of his ambush at Pycelle's? Kevan went to a location Varys had prepared for him, very unlike Varys being ambushed by someone else.

The point being is that you have no evidence nor any reason to assume those little birds are not always there, especially at crucial places. Varys monitors pretty much the entire Red Keep 24/7 (Maegor's Holdfast excluded), so we can expect that the little birds are behind every wall with a tunnel the entire time.

12 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Probably yes to the former, since that's what actually happened. The latter did not.

But the former implies that the latter could happen if Varys was in danger, no?

12 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

If someone prepares in advance by recruiting bodyguards, it's generally not because they expect an attack from a cripple specifically. Children do not make for good bodyguards.

Nobody said anything about them being good bodyguards. But they might be better bodyguards than no bodyguards. And besides, the idea that the little birds might help Varys if he was in danger is just one additional possibility. My main point is and remains that Varys is not intimidated or blackmailed by a clumsy cripple like Jaime.

12 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

Small children are not good at loading crossbows. It's estimated you need 150 pounds of draw weight for rabbits, and humans are bigger than that. And crossbows are supposed to remain cocked only in a stationary position rather than while moving around, and keeping them cocked for a long time damages the mechanism. We see the birds with daggers while Varys himself uses the crossbow.

Nobody said anything about the small children having to load the crossbows. And it seems as if George thinks a dwarf with crippled legs can load a crossbow. If Tyrion can do it, so can the little birds, I'd think, especially if they were to work together.

12 hours ago, FictionIsntReal said:

A certain amount of bravery would be required for someone to do that when a knife was at their neck, and Varys isn't interested in bravely risking his life. He even tells Ned about how unfitting it would be for him to be brave.

LOL, sorry, but that's again Varys' fake persona talking. Varys isn't a coward. He fills Ned's head with silly lies, pretending his loyal to Robert, pretending he fears for the life of the drunkard, pretending he is afraid of Cersei, etc. The real Varys wants Robert and his children and brothers dead and Aegon on the Iron Throne.

And again - I don't maintain that Varys wanted to fight back. Varys liked Jaime 'blackmailing' him into saving Tyrion. That way he could drive the dagger even deeper into the heart of House Lannister. By having Jaime as an accomplice in freeing Tyrion - even the guy 'commanding' the entire thing - Jaime was also complicit in the murder of Lord Tywin, his own father.

And even while that's not public knowledge yet it definitely helped further poison the relationship between Cersei and Jaime.

[FictionIsntReal]

7 hours ago, Lord Varys said:

Barristan Selmy spend decades on the Small Council, too. He is still rather competent.

Barristan Selmy is a knight, and more specifically the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Keeping up his training would be entirely expected for him, and in fact he'd be regarded as failing in his responsibilities if he did otherwise.

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George also gives us hints that Illyrio, while fat, is a trained fighter. He still walks around like a water dancer.

Oh, he was a bravo, but I don't know that he'd be all that adept in a swordfight at present. Unlike Selmy, he's let himself go.

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The point being is that you have no evidence nor any reason to assume those little birds are not always there, especially at crucial places.

This "crucial place" was an ambush prepared in advance. And of course he would move around his little birds where & when they're needed, he doesn't have an unlimited supply to place everywhere.

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But the former implies that the latter could happen if Varys was in danger, no?

In a situation where he'd already prepared those little birds to attack someone there, he could, although they'd make for very poor bodyguards as I already said.

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Nobody said anything about them being good bodyguards. But they might be better bodyguards than no bodyguards

Perhaps if Varys genuinely thought they were the only thing between life & death they'd serve as his hail Mary, although I don't know that the kids themselves would be willing to risk their own lives.

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And it seems as if George thinks a dwarf with crippled legs can load a crossbow

Tyrion was still capable of walking, and he's someone who's fought in battle multiple times.

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pretending he fears for the life of the drunkard

That was genuine. LF was instigating chaos in KL, whereas Varys wanted to keep things from spinning out of control prior to the invasion being ready. And the whole reason Varys was visiting Ned was to convince him to make a deal with the Lannisters and be sent to the Wall after confessing, which Joffrey blew up by executing him. Again, Varys was being genuine and was actually blindsided by Joffrey's decision.

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pretending he is afraid of Cersei

Cersei has a number of people killed, would it be that unreasonable to think he could be included?