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Dating thread - NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER edition


Chataya de Fleury
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1 hour ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

Yes, but those of us following the thread will not :)

Thank you, and by the way, I would like to add that in Aruba, I was a rebellious young lady and beach-read a book by HILLARY CLINTON (ha ha ha - he never knew). It’s called “A State of Terror”. Great political thriller. 

And it’s been 1 hour, and I have 56 “intros” from Match.com with men trying their damndest to start a conversation, so I’m feeling pretty good about this so far. 

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1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Thank you, and by the way, I would like to add that in Aruba, I was a rebellious young lady and beach-read a book by HILLARY CLINTON (ha ha ha - he never knew). It’s called “A State of Terror”. Great political thriller.

Well, at least you weren't reading one of Stacey Abrams' romance novels published under her pen name Selena Montgomery.  Or, for that matter, her recently published legal thriller published under her own name.

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Tomorrow, I return all his stuff that was at my house. It’s one pair of flannel pajamas, two t-shirts, and 3 pairs of boxer briefs. I located and washed them all, and have them in a paper Starbucks bag which is classier than a plastic bag, IMO. A plastic bag would just be tacky.

I REALLY wanted to include the card that I bought randomly ages ago that says, “cats, can’t live with them, can’t die alone without them” but my kid said that would be super petty and I should take the high road. 

I’m just going to put it on his front doorknob and text him that I have done so after I’m a safe distance away. (I can find his number in my “recents” even though I deleted his contact info). I’ll write a note on my engraved informal stationery to include in the bag letting him know that here is everything of his and I wish him well. 

That’s really probably the best cut of all - the engraved stationery might just remind him that at Thanksgiving dinner he ate off of my family Haviland set that is 200 years old, along with silver handed down from my great grandmother. 

Piss on his new money “I make $1 million a year” bs. As my boss says (although it pertained to Wall Street) “there’s always someone who makes more money.”

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Chats, I know you are resilient and also predatory in your own way. The thing that would bug me is wondering when he decided he was going to dump me (with prejudice.)  I would picture him smirking to himself even as he gave me pleasure and that would ruin whatever pleasure I got once I realized what his true intentions were.

Hopefully you got enough value out of the tryst to make it worthwhile.  Sounds like it was good while it lasted.

Examining the journey from innocence to experience and beyond:

  • Innocence--I am attracted to him, he seems like a decent person. Why would he want to hurt me?  Let's Go!
  • Experience--the more attracted you are, the more you should stay away.  Your judgement is poor.
  • Beyond--assume every man wants to denigrate you in some way, turn the tables and extract what value you can get while always keeping in mind that he will hurt you if he can.
On 1/13/2022 at 1:41 AM, Chataya de Fleury said:

the fact that I am not committed to his political positions means that we aren’t compatible.

In other words, "If you are not going to embrace your inferiority, I have no use for you."

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10 hours ago, litechick said:

Chats, I know you are resilient and also predatory in your own way. The thing that would bug me is wondering when he decided he was going to dump me (with prejudice.)  I would picture him smirking to himself even as he gave me pleasure and that would ruin whatever pleasure I got once I realized what his true intentions were.

Hopefully you got enough value out of the tryst to make it worthwhile.  Sounds like it was good while it lasted.

In other words, "If you are not going to embrace your inferiority, I have no use for you."

I’m pretty sure he might have had some reservations but wasn’t planning on a breakup “with prejudice” until the exact moment when he was well and truly drunk.

There was another thing I did to annoy him that day, too - I solved in 10 minutes an IT issue that he’d been futzing with for three hours and couldn’t solve. It annoyed the snot out of him. It percolated as he got drunk and then everything I was became evil. 

I’m still a bit on the side of Innocence in your equation of “Innocence, Experience, and Beyond”. I need to NOT be so overly optimistic and get some cynicism, though, since I did join Match, and online is a special sort of Hell.

No sex until the third date. 

Currently talking to a War Journalist, Random BusinessGuy, Private Jet Salesman, and a few others. FratBro is going to call me today, but he needs to be treated with caution as he’s complicated. “Complicated” being at the beginning stages of divorce. He needs to move out (not just have separate bedrooms) before I get anywhere near involved with him. I learned my lesson on “separated” lol :ack:

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13 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Tomorrow, I return all his stuff that was at my house. It’s one pair of flannel pajamas, two t-shirts, and 3 pairs of boxer briefs. I located and washed them all, and have them in a paper Starbucks bag which is classier than a plastic bag, IMO. A plastic bag would just be tacky.

I REALLY wanted to include the card that I bought randomly ages ago that says, “cats, can’t live with them, can’t die alone without them” but my kid said that would be super petty and I should take the high road. 

I’m just going to put it on his front doorknob and text him that I have done so after I’m a safe distance away. (I can find his number in my “recents” even though I deleted his contact info). I’ll write a note on my engraved informal stationery to include in the bag letting him know that here is everything of his and I wish him well. 

That’s really probably the best cut of all - the engraved stationery might just remind him that at Thanksgiving dinner he ate off of my family Haviland set that is 200 years old, along with silver handed down from my great grandmother. 

Piss on his new money “I make $1 million a year” bs. As my boss says (although it pertained to Wall Street) “there’s always someone who makes more money.”

Well, at least you didn't go down the road with paper bag, his clothes, dog poo and fire. Door bell and run. 

Going back to that lap dance. I got so many questions regarding this bucket list of that young lady. What was the precise wording? 

Get a lap dance from an account of the same sex! 

Don't get me wrong, that'd be an awesome item for that list. Just a really strange one.

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1 hour ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

Going back to that lap dance. I got so many questions regarding this bucket list of that young lady. What was the precise wording? 

Get a lap dance from an accountant of the same sex! 

Don't get me wrong, that'd be an awesome item for that list. Just a really strange one.

It was just “get a lap dance from a stranger.”

And they were nowhere near a strip club.

Also on the list was “get 21 people to sign below this line stating HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMANDA”

and also “don’t puke”

I noted that the lap dance was not yet checked off, so a lady dies what one can…I basically chose the AC/DC song and told her how to sit and told her that I’d get close but not actually touch her. And that it would look fairly naughty.

Edited by Chataya de Fleury
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15 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Tomorrow, I return all his stuff that was at my house. It’s one pair of flannel pajamas, two t-shirts, and 3 pairs of boxer briefs. I located and washed them all, and have them in a paper Starbucks bag which is classier than a plastic bag, IMO. A plastic bag would just be tacky.

I REALLY wanted to include the card that I bought randomly ages ago that says, “cats, can’t live with them, can’t die alone without them” but my kid said that would be super petty and I should take the high road. 

I’m just going to put it on his front doorknob and text him that I have done so after I’m a safe distance away. (I can find his number in my “recents” even though I deleted his contact info). I’ll write a note on my engraved informal stationery to include in the bag letting him know that here is everything of his and I wish him well. 

That’s really probably the best cut of all - the engraved stationery might just remind him that at Thanksgiving dinner he ate off of my family Haviland set that is 200 years old, along with silver handed down from my great grandmother. 

Piss on his new money “I make $1 million a year” bs. As my boss says (although it pertained to Wall Street) “there’s always someone who makes more money.”

Speaking of which, didn't you actually perform watersports on him? If so, shove that in his face as an extra, please.

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55 minutes ago, HoodedCrow said:

Chats, , I think you are on to something with the IT issue. Some guys can’t tolerate it if the woman is smarter:( Also, some can’t tolerate feelings of connection well. Nobody here, of course:) 

Especially if the woman is smarter when it comes to computers.  That's almost as bad as a woman being right in an argument about driving directions.

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2 hours ago, DMC said:

Especially if the woman is smarter when it comes to computers.  That's almost as bad as a woman being right in an argument about driving directions.

Not that anyone needs another story about an insecure dude who is obsessed with how good a driver he is but ...:

About 5 years ago I was working on this crew and the boss got his f550 dumptruck stuck in the mud almost to the axles on a job site.  We got two other trucks strapped to it to pull it out but there wasn't much room to pull it very far.  It was a manual shift and the guy kept alternately stalling it or smoking the clutch, just burying it more and more. 

 My gf at the time was picking me up at work and I suggested she try to get it unstuck because she's always driven  standard vehicles and he begrudgingly let her try.  She got it unstuck immediately, before either of the towstraps even had tension on it.  

I thought he was going to cry, he made all sorts of excuses about why it didn't work when he tried it.  He brought it up at least once a week for the next couple months always seguing into a rant about how women can't drive.  Woof.

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Sooooo, we have:

RandomBusinessGuy tomorrow night (Tuesday)

and then I get my chemical peel on Wednesday and also discussing my HRT dose with my gyno that day as well (I am still getting hot flashes on the current dose)

Thursday is FratBro’s second chance. At which point I am going to elicit more information about how divorced he intends to become (I would think VERY by the texts I’ve seen from his wife, such as “YOU NEED TO MOVE OUT ALREADY” but people can stick with misery for a long time, it is known.)

I do need to let Private Jet Guy know that I am not free Monday - Thursday until March 15, but we can go to dinner between now and then.

I should look decent by Sunday and thus ready to truly get back on the horse, as it were. 

It is encouraging that a 47 year old is getting sufficient attention. And all my posted pics are no makeup. And no one whom I’ve met in person has seen me with makeup. 

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There is a woman I've known since I started school, we were in a lot the same classes from ages 5-18 and were friends for a lot of that, although not especially close. We stayed in infrequent contact through uni but have never really been that close.

When I started my job here and accepted that I was in the North East fairly long term (july 2019) we started to meet up on ocassion and chat more frequently, meeting once every 4-5 months or so. I supported her after her Gran died last year and helped her move into a new house. Since September last year we have got much closer and our infrequent meet ups have become almost weekly at this point. I feel great and can be completely free around her and tell her things I m scared to tell others.

Yesterday she sent me a message about something related to her business and, almost as an afterthought asked if I was free 5th February. When I said yes she asked if I would be her +1 to her Aunt's wedding (I have not met her family before, except her parents when I was still in school). Am I reading too much into this or is this potentially a more than friends situation?

Please help.

Sincerely, 

Reading signs is hard.

Edit: I already said yes as I will be happy to go regardless, I just need to know if I am reading too much into it.

Edited by HelenaExMachina
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On 1/17/2022 at 5:58 AM, Chataya de Fleury said:

one pair of flannel pajamas

Sorry, can't wrap my head around this. Personally, I don't believe in Pyjamas anyway, but bringing flannel pyjamas to sleep overs with you special lady friend doesnt feel impressive. Did you check if he may also have lost his senior pass somewhere in you house?

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10 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

Unless there are some other clues that suggest she might be interested in you, I vote reading too much into it. 

I would have said the complete opposite.  If someone invited me to be a plus 1 at a wedding I'd assume there was going to be shagging involved. 

But then I think everything has a sexual undercurrent. 

Edited by BigFatCoward
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8 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Please help.

Sincerely, 

Reading signs is hard.

Edit: I already said yes as I will be happy to go regardless, I just need to know if I am reading too much into it.

I'd say difficult to tell from what you've said here, but we lack specific information about how the rest of your relationship has been. Any romantic signals? Flirty comments? 

Anyway, the point is going to the wedding should clarify things because when you get there, it should soon become obvious whether you're a 'friend +1' or a 'partner +1'. 

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