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Dating thread - NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER edition


Chataya de Fleury
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5 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

I would have said said complete opposite.  If someone invited me to be a plus 1 at a wedding I'd assume there was going to be shagging involved. 

But then I think everything has a sexual undercurrent. 

I'd be more inclined to make that assumption if a guy is asking you to be his +1. I've had a few women ask me to be their +1 out of the blue and each time it was plutonic.

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3 hours ago, mormont said:

I'd say difficult to tell from what you've said here, but we lack specific information about how the rest of your relationship has been. Any romantic signals? Flirty comments? 

Anyway, the point is going to the wedding should clarify things because when you get there, it should soon become obvious whether you're a 'friend +1' or a 'partner +1'. 

In my book, surely you clarify things at least a bit before you invite someone as a +1 to anything family?! Like, its just not a logical first move.

ETA - I have literally never been a +1, it now occurs to me.

Edited by Datepalm
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If you are friends with someone, and you want to move things toward being more than friends, then inviting them as your +1 to a wedding is a bad move.  That has a real potential for drama and nobody wants to start drama at someone else's wedding.

Therefore, I would assume that it's just as friends. 

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Thanks everyone, your responses were simultaneously very helpful and deeply confusing :P (Genuinely though thanks all for your input)

I guess I didn't really provide much explanation of our relationship prior to this - as I said I'm not great at reading signs. I mostly took it as us becoming closer friends (she would ask me to go out with her or call me or message me more often than we ever used to, we talked about a lot more personal stuff that I'm not really comfortable talking g to many people about, she told me things about herself she doesn't share with others) but then this one question of will you come to the wedding as a +1 to the wedding sort of threw me and made me wonder if I was ignoring signs.

I guess I'll just see how it goes as Mormons said and try to pick up on any further signs before that.

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47 minutes ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Thanks everyone, your responses were simultaneously very helpful and deeply confusing :P (Genuinely though thanks all for your input)

I guess I didn't really provide much explanation of our relationship prior to this - as I said I'm not great at reading signs. I mostly took it as us becoming closer friends (she would ask me to go out with her or call me or message me more often than we ever used to, we talked about a lot more personal stuff that I'm not really comfortable talking g to many people about, she told me things about herself she doesn't share with others) but then this one question of will you come to the wedding as a +1 to the wedding sort of threw me and made me wonder if I was ignoring signs.

I guess I'll just see how it goes as Mormons said and try to pick up on any further signs before that.

Don’t worry about reading tea leaves, just ask.

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21 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Don’t worry about reading tea leaves, just ask.

I can't believe I'm arguing AGAINST forthright communication in a dating thread, but I'm not sure I'd go there.  At the very least, it would depend on the friendship, and I cannot say whether that would be a good or bad move. 

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I'm reading Helena's posts and thinking sure, there's a deepening emotional intimacy there, but the question is, to be delicate about it... is there anything else going on? Any other dimension to this relationship?

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2 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Don’t worry about reading tea leaves, just ask.

I think that is the best solution I just need to steel myself and do it. 

1 hour ago, DMC said:

When it comes to relationships and weddings, I do NOT advise doing what the mormons said.

Haha, autocorrect doesn't like the name mormont apparently 

6 minutes ago, mormont said:

I'm reading Helena's posts and thinking sure, there's a deepening emotional intimacy there, but the question is, to be delicate about it... is there anything else going on? Any other dimension to this relationship?

No worries I'm comfortable to answer. It's just emotional intimacy, nothing physical between us.

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1 minute ago, HelenaExMachina said:

No worries I'm comfortable to answer. It's just emotional intimacy, nothing physical between us.

Yeah, I wasn't intending to pry. It was more about whether, as noted earlier, there's at least an indication of a physical attraction. Not that a romantic relationship always has to have that (asexuality is valid, I have ace friends in long-term romantic relationships), but if you're trying to figure out if someone is looking for more than friendship it's a pretty good place to start. :)

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17 minutes ago, mormont said:

Yeah, I wasn't intending to pry. It was more about whether, as noted earlier, there's at least an indication of a physical attraction. Not that a romantic relationship always has to have that (asexuality is valid, I have ace friends in long-term romantic relationships), but if you're trying to figure out if someone is looking for more than friendship it's a pretty good place to start. :)

Thanks, I appreciate the advice from you and everyone else on this. I will update you all should there be any developments 

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3 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Thanks, I appreciate the advice from you and everyone else on this. I will update you all should there be any developments 

Do; and the direct question can still be delicate, such as “I feel that we’ve really deepened our friendship, and I’m wondering if you feel that as well. How do you feel?”

This is of course where I usually get them into bed, but YMMV.

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18 hours ago, TheLastWolf said:

Happiness is when she unblocks you after months

Mindfuck is when she updates her status with a picture of her fricking- oh its too hard *sob*- her fricking , never mind, is that her bestie, looks even gorgeous

Thank evo for hormones

I have learned my lesson about un-blocking people. I don’t do it. Once they are blocked, they stay blocked.

I had a nice conversation with War Correspondent, and also a nice (but somewhat inebriated, for my part) conversation with Flooring Company Manufacturing Owner, last night. 

I’m going to take a Covid test tomorrow (PCR) because I felt crummy today…you know, the old question of “is it Covid or a hangover?” and I’m leaning toward Covid because my body aches. And a slight sore throat. 

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1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

I have learned my lesson about un-blocking people. I don’t do it. Once they are blocked, they stay blocked.

I haven't met a lot of jerks yet, but yeah, that's how it's going to be here too. But on getting blocked, I swear on Tyrion's nose that I behaved like a fricking proper gentleman (maybe that's why I was blocked) and got used for weekend entertainment like a wad of tissues.

At least I lasted 3 weeks with the other girl.

The one with whom I'm steadily going on for 18 months or so has me friend zoned more or less. That's life

1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

I’m going to take a Covid test tomorrow (PCR) because I felt crummy today…you know, the old question of “is it Covid or a hangover?” and I’m leaning toward Covid because my body aches. And a slight sore throat. 

I made it a hattrick of getting +, asymptomatic twice so kinda doubt these private labs. Vaccines boost natural immunity they say. *scoff*

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