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Dating thread - NEVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER edition


Chataya de Fleury
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First date in half an hour with my first Match dot com date in…six years?

 

ETA - it (lunch) was awkward. He kept telling me how pretty I am, what perfect skin and teeth I have. He was short, chunky, and ….well, at least had a nice conversation.

 

ETA2 - and my second Match date (drinks) with another guy 6 hours later; Mr. 6-foot-1

Edited by Chataya de Fleury
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Reporting back on the 6 pm date -

I don’t know what it is with me and Risk Managers, but he is Mr. Risk Manager 2. 
He’s 40, indeed 6’1” (which doesn’t really matter, but he’s not lying about his height, which is always sad when someone who claims to be 5’11” is visibly shorter than me and I’m 5’6”). Super cute. Great conversationalist. We ended up making out in his car :rofl:

And second date on Wednesday.

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Mmh... I guess I should mention that I deleted my Bumble account last week, again, after not having gotten a like in... huh, like, at all this time. It seems Bumble kept my phone number stored and kept the algorithm information that I'm worthless, so signing up again half a year ago seemingly was pointless and I can at least forget about it from here on out and not waste my time with it. At the same time I also deleted the phone number of bored exchange student and our What's App conversation, which I guess was WELL overdue. A small part in me still hoped that parting on a confusing "We can be friends, but please don't contact me again because I don't stay in contact with even my closest friends" was just one strange misunderstanding and she would at some point come back to the conversation. I'm a moron like that sometimes.

Oh well, back to business as usual, even with the occasional loneliness attacks and still being very confused how the hell you are supposed to meet people.

Edited by Toth
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I, on the other hand, just created a Bumble account! Which has served to remind me of three things:

1. I have astonishingly few pictures of myself. Really, it's a problem. I took a few selfies but I'm not practiced at it.

2. Many people are really bad at selling themselves. Like, don't select a profile pic that's you and your bestie, I can't tell which one is you. And don't tell me you're looking for someone 'honest' or 'genuine' because that's what everyone is looking for, and it doesn't deter liars and fakes even a little bit. And surely you can come up with a more interesting hobby than 'city breaks'?

3. I am very picky these days and I'm OK with that.

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5 minutes ago, mormont said:

I, on the other hand, just created a Bumble account! Which has served to remind me of three things:

1. I have astonishingly few pictures of myself. Really, it's a problem. I took a few selfies but I'm not practiced at it.

2. Many people are really bad at selling themselves. Like, don't select a profile pic that's you and your bestie, I can't tell which one is you. And don't tell me you're looking for someone 'honest' or 'genuine' because that's what everyone is looking for, and it doesn't deter liars and fakes even a little bit. And surely you can come up with a more interesting hobby than 'city breaks'?

3. I am very picky these days and I'm OK with that.

How dare you be so judgemental about them! :P

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1 hour ago, mormont said:

I, on the other hand, just created a Bumble account! Which has served to remind me of three things:

1. I have astonishingly few pictures of myself. Really, it's a problem. I took a few selfies but I'm not practiced at it.

2. Many people are really bad at selling themselves. Like, don't select a profile pic that's you and your bestie, I can't tell which one is you. And don't tell me you're looking for someone 'honest' or 'genuine' because that's what everyone is looking for, and it doesn't deter liars and fakes even a little bit. And surely you can come up with a more interesting hobby than 'city breaks'?

3. I am very picky these days and I'm OK with that.

I think I've had more fun doing photo shoots with friends to get dating profile photos than I've actually had using dating apps.  

Eta: and good luck out there

Edited by Larry of the Lake
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Yeah I deleted Hinge again a couple of months ago, and this time will very possibly be for good. I gave online dating a solid good-faith effort for most of last year, went on a bunch of dates, met a bunch of people, and honestly did not enjoy the  experience at all. Just gonna focus on studies, hobbies and friendships for the time being. Eyes and mind open for possible partners in the wild, but no active searching. Leaving it up to the Universe.

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2 hours ago, mormont said:

I, on the other hand, just created a Bumble account! Which has served to remind me of three things:

1. I have astonishingly few pictures of myself. Really, it's a problem. I took a few selfies but I'm not practiced at it.

2. Many people are really bad at selling themselves. Like, don't select a profile pic that's you and your bestie, I can't tell which one is you. And don't tell me you're looking for someone 'honest' or 'genuine' because that's what everyone is looking for, and it doesn't deter liars and fakes even a little bit. And surely you can come up with a more interesting hobby than 'city breaks'?

3. I am very picky these days and I'm OK with that.

1. You’re a hottie; you’ll be fine.

I also have very few pics of myself, but I have A TON of cat pics. My cats could slay a dating app for sure. “Desperately Seeking Tabby” - it could be A Thing. With Madonna songs.
 

2. wtf is a “city break”??? And I confess, this time around, I was like, “profile, schmofile, I know what they want from me. Sadly.” So, I was a bit generic. My hobbies are “reading and watching Netflix when I get a minute” which is the sad truth.

 

3. Amen. Mr. Risk 2.0 was keen on Date 2, he and even (earlier today) proposed Date 2 for this evening, but I could not possibly be free until Wednesday, which led to a schedule conflict with Mr. War Correspondent, FML. I must resolve this issue.

 

47th birthday tomorrow. 

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2 minutes ago, Liffguard said:

Yeah I deleted Hinge again a couple of months ago, and this time will very possibly be for good. I gave online dating a solid good-faith effort for most of last year, went on a bunch of dates, met a bunch of people, and honestly did not enjoy the  experience at all. Just gonna focus on studies, hobbies and friendships for the time being. Eyes and mind open for possible partners in the wild, but no active searching. Leaving it up to the Universe.

You’re also a hottie; you’ll be fine. 

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13 minutes ago, Liffguard said:

To be fair it was an extremely shit year for me beyond even covid, and I was (and currently remain) very much not in a good mindset for meeting people. It will get better with therapy and time, but there's really no point in me trying to push it right now.

Good mindset. I do the “oh, I can’t possibly meet people” and “maybe I should just be single for a bit and go to the gym more” for all of about three days and then I’m like, “PEOPLE!!!” MAYBE a week, if it was especially traumatic.

Therapy had me discover that for me, having a relationship-ish or romantic people-interests are the same as homeownership for me. I had a HUGE crisis when I was forced into renting for 8 months due to the vagaries of the housing market (too many people making offers on houses minutes before I did, bidding wars, etc, after I sold my starter home). 

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To be fair, while I've never used a dating app, I'd have a hard time filling out the hobbies section too.  Let's see I..follow some sports teams.  I watch certain movies and tv shows, read certain books.  Other than that I..drink and get high.  Doesn't sound very appealing -- which is probably why I should continue not using dating apps.

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Just now, DMC said:

To be fair, while I've never used a dating app, I'd have a hard time filling out the hobbies section too.  Let's see I..follow some sports teams.  I watch certain movies and tv shows, read certain books.  Other than that I..drink and get high.  Doesn't sound very appealing -- which is probably why I should continue not using dating apps.

From what I can tell from Tinder lately in my area, anyone who isn't an experienced axe thrower is never going to get laid.  Everyone is really into axe throwing.  

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1 minute ago, Larry of the Lake said:

From what I can tell from Tinder lately in my area, anyone who isn't an experienced axe thrower is never going to get laid.  Everyone is really into axe throwing.  

LOL, a few months ago my dad told me he tried axe throwing and I thought it was hilarious.  He's been pretty bored since retiring over the summer.  So there ya go, if a 69 year old retired physiologist is doing it, it must be cool.

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Good luck, Mormont!

My experience with bumble has been pretty good when it comes to meeting people, especially when I go into the city. When I'm in London, I feel like the experience on the app is completely different than when I'm in my sleepy town where I live.

Also, after a few months of dating through bumble, I've realized that

1. I need time to respond to texts - I just got off a set of night shifts, and whilst I'm on a set of nights I rarely respond to texts except from people I'm close to. People defo don't really understand this, which is totally fair!

2. Voice notes are underrated

3. *If* I potentially want to meet someone, it needs to be sooner rather than later as endless texts are not for me.

4. I am fucking terrible at having a conversation with more than 2 people. I have no idea how people do it.

Edited by Raja
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3 hours ago, DMC said:

To be fair, while I've never used a dating app, I'd have a hard time filling out the hobbies section too.  Let's see I..follow some sports teams.  I watch certain movies and tv shows, read certain books.  Other than that I..drink and get high.  Doesn't sound very appealing -- which is probably why I should continue not using dating apps.

This sounds like a great profile. Chataya's reading and Netflix sounds good, too.

I am about fed up with all the most-interesting-person-in-the-world profiles. 

3 hours ago, Larry of the Lake said:

From what I can tell from Tinder lately in my area, anyone who isn't an experienced axe thrower is never going to get laid.  Everyone is really into axe throwing.  

Axe-throwing is my current first date choice. I haven't tried it out, yet, though. We have a glow in the dark mini-golf spot that has axe throwing...that has my name all over it. No takers yet.

The pictures thing is a problem for me as well. I do not take pictures of myself. All the pics on my profile look suspiciously like they have been taken at the same time in the same place. In balance...my shit is current.

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