Falcon2909 Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 You are a Lord/Lady in Westeros. Your maester comes running up to you saying he's received a letter saying Lord Tywin Lannister will be staying at your castle for a week. How do you keep Tywin pleased/satisfied/entertained ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daenerysthegreat Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 1 hour ago, Falcon2909 said: You are a Lord/Lady in Westeros. Your maester comes running up to you saying he's received a letter saying Lord Tywin Lannister will be staying at your castle for a week. How do you keep Tywin pleased/satisfied/entertained ? Do this to keep him satisfied 1) Stab him half a hundred times 2) Smash his head against the wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaenara Belarys Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 14 hours ago, Falcon2909 said: How do you keep Tywin pleased/satisfied/entertained ? I need more details to answer this. Where am I? In the Reach? Dorne? The fookin' North? How wealthy am I, how many men can I muster, do I have a daughter or sister, do I have a VS sword? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brynden"Bloodraven" Rivers Posted November 16, 2021 Share Posted November 16, 2021 14 hours ago, Daenerysthegreat said: Do this to keep him satisfied 1) Stab him half a hundred times 2) Smash his head against the wall. Agreed, nothing less than a guest like Tywin deserves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon2909 Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 3 hours ago, Jaenara Belarys said: I need more details to answer this. Where am I? In the Reach? Dorne? The fookin' North? How wealthy am I, how many men can I muster, do I have a daughter or sister, do I have a VS sword? Not Dorne. Somehwere in the South definitely. You're not a lord/lady paramount. You're a medium tier lord. as for the other details its up to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon2909 Posted November 16, 2021 Author Share Posted November 16, 2021 3 hours ago, Brynden"Bloodraven" Rivers said: Agreed, nothing less than a guest like Tywin deserves. Guest right? Guessed wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLastWolf Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 On 11/16/2021 at 8:44 AM, Falcon2909 said: How do you keep Tywin pleased/satisfied/entertained ? If I was a bad ass lord, the way Tyrion did. The final time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Lannister Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 No one ever turns away a Lannister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaenara Belarys Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 Probably just the usual. Prepare a feast, hunts, a tourney. An ambitious lord might offer someone's hand in marriage. He might want your VS sword, but most likely you shouldn't give it up. Killing him would be foolish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EggBlue Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 4 minutes ago, Jaenara Belarys said: Killing him would be foolish. yes.. but.. it will probably be... satisfying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaenara Belarys Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 1 minute ago, EggBlue said: yes.. but.. it will probably be... satisfying... Yes, and then you're captured and thrown into the lowest dungeon in Casterly Rock or the Red Keep to die painfully. Or beheaded and head mounted on spike. Very satisfying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 Depends on how close you are to Casterly Rock. If you're a Wester lord then the answer is go full brownnose. If you're a Vale lord, on the other hand, then all you really need to do is not piss him off. Give him decent feasts, hunting, etc. and wait for him to go away. Of course, if you're a Vale lord and Tywin is coming all the way to you then he has something in mind and you better find out what that is before he shows up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curled Finger Posted November 17, 2021 Share Posted November 17, 2021 Tywin Lannister is a statesman at this point in his career--when is this mooch coming exactly? When Tywin was best buds with Aerys or waging full on war on the Westerlands or in love with Johanna or Hand of the King or retired or father of the Queen or Hand of the King? There is a clue to Tywin once having some humanity about him--he quit smiling when Johanna died. This indicates he did indeed smile at some point in his life. OP, can I just send a raven letting him know we and our village of lepers would be glad to see him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLastWolf Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 12 hours ago, Lord Lannister said: No one ever turns away a Lannister. Except another On 11/17/2021 at 10:43 AM, TheLastWolf said: If I was a bad ass lord, the way Tyrion did. The final time 12 hours ago, EggBlue said: yes.. but.. it will probably be... satisfying... Understatement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatAnArtist! Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 On 11/16/2021 at 3:15 PM, Daenerysthegreat said: Do this to keep him satisfied 1) Stab him half a hundred times 2) Smash his head against the wall. Then, the best case scenario, you'll be shamed and condemned as breaking guest rights, and your name and reputation will be mud. Worst case scenario, you're captured by either the Lannisters or the king, and brutally tortured before being executed. Great plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daenerysthegreat Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 35 minutes ago, WhatAnArtist! said: Then, the best case scenario, you'll be shamed and condemned as breaking guest rights, and your name and reputation will be mud. Worst case scenario, you're captured by either the Lannisters or the king, and brutally tortured before being executed. Great plan. He broke guest right and sacked kings landing and killed rhaenys and aegon . He deserves nothing less than what he gave them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatAnArtist! Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 14 minutes ago, Daenerysthegreat said: He broke guest right and sacked kings landing and killed rhaenys and aegon That wasn't guest right. He never ate or drank at the Mad King's table. He didn't even meet him. 15 minutes ago, Daenerysthegreat said: He deserves nothing less than what he gave them. I'm not saying Tywin doesn't deserve to die, I'm merely pointing out the consequences of your actions. If you'd be willing to accept those consequences, fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falcon2909 Posted November 18, 2021 Author Share Posted November 18, 2021 18 hours ago, Jaenara Belarys said: Probably just the usual. Prepare a feast, hunts, a tourney. An ambitious lord might offer someone's hand in marriage. He might want your VS sword, but most likely you shouldn't give it up. Killing him would be foolish. Very cool! I'd love to see Tywin hunting. If I were Tywin I would be happy, even give you a cool gift. 16 hours ago, Groo said: Depends on how close you are to Casterly Rock. If you're a Wester lord then the answer is go full brownnose. If you're a Vale lord, on the other hand, then all you really need to do is not piss him off. Give him decent feasts, hunting, etc. and wait for him to go away. Of course, if you're a Vale lord and Tywin is coming all the way to you then he has something in mind and you better find out what that is before he shows up. How do you find out what he's up to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willam Stark Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 Let's say I'm a Westerman with a Valyrian Steel sword, because he wouldn't show up to my place otherwise, except in wartime but it's not the case here. I would bring out the big game: feast, hunt, tourney as Jaenara Belarys pointed out and of course introduce my beautiful daughter to him. After all, he is a widower and still in good shape to father children, it's very odd that he didn't remarry, especially if he doesn't want to give Casterly Rock to his ugly dwarf son. I would consider giving him my sword only if he accepts to marry my daughter and sends Tyrion to the Wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhatAnArtist! Posted November 18, 2021 Share Posted November 18, 2021 47 minutes ago, Willam Stark said: After all, he is a widower and still in good shape to father children, it's very odd that he didn't remarry Everything we know about him and Joanna suggest that he loved her deeply, more so than most Westerosi lords seemed to love their wives. It's not unreasonable to imagine that Tywin didn't want to "betray" her memory by remarrying. That wasn't unheard of, historically speaking. The similarly ultra-serious Charles V refused to remarry after his wife died from childbirth, and he wore black in mourning for the rest of his life. As for Tywin's need for another heir, you're right that that should have been a huge incentive to remarry, but I get the impression that Tywin was so blinded by the delusion that Jaime would someday give up the Kingsguard that he didn't want to acknowledge that wasn't going to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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