Career Chat V: the Common Ruin of the Contending Classes

[Tywin et al.]

19 minutes ago, Jaxom 1974 said:

Yeah. Well they did make me. I sent the email 5 minutes ago.  

I already have confirmation I can start the new gig Monday.

I was going to say if you need the reference you should stay, but otherwise tell them to fuck off if they're going to be petty. Leaders should know they need to treat their employee well after they've submitted their two weeks notice for exactly this reason.

Good luck at your new gig! 

[Jaxom 1974]

2 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

I was going to say if you need the reference you should stay, but otherwise tell them to fuck off if they're going to be petty. Leaders should know they need to treat their employee well after they've submitted their two weeks notice for exactly this reason.

Good luck at your new gig! 

Thanks.  This is out of my comfort zone, and it feels selfish.  But I have to do what I have to do.  I know it makes things even worse for my currently employer, but...  

 

 

[Tywin et al.]

26 minutes ago, Jaxom 1974 said:

Thanks.  This is out of my comfort zone, and it feels selfish.  But I have to do what I have to do.  I know it makes things even worse for my currently employer, but...  

 

I'd care more about my coworkers that will have to suffer a bit than the employer. Unless they were great to you you don't owe them shit. And in general, always prioritize yourself in situations like this. It's clear the other individual isn't concerned about you.

[Madame deVenoge]

2 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

I'd care more about my coworkers that will have to suffer a bit than the employer. Unless they were great to you you don't owe them shit. And in general, always prioritize yourself in situations like this. It's clear the other individual isn't concerned about you.

I always prioritize myself in situations like that by offering my consulting services to my former employer for a truly exorbitant hourly rate until they find my replacement 

(I realize this is not applicable to all industries, but it’s worked nicely for me in the past.)

[Jaxom 1974]

On 9/15/2022 at 9:46 PM, Chataya de Fleury said:

I always prioritize myself in situations like that by offering my consulting services to my former employer for a truly exorbitant hourly rate until they find my replacement 

(I realize this is not applicable to all industries, but it’s worked nicely for me in the past.)

Yeah. That's not my industry.  

I've never done anything like this...bit it just...I'm still a little in shock it went down this way. I said I'd finish tonight's shift. No reason not too. But the boss showed up just after 930 and walked me out.  

My conscience is clear, but it is still weird.

New gig starts Monday.

Edited September 17, 2022 by Jaxom 1974

[Starkess]

Sounds like they fucked around and found out. Good luck with the new position!

[Derfel Cadarn]

On 9/15/2022 at 6:24 PM, Derfel Cadarn said:

Shoukd find out tomorrow afternoon if I got the job I applied for. Was intervoewed by my boss and her boss (who originally interviewed me for my current role in 2019 before my boss was hired).

Not very confident, some of the questions were weird (how do you motovstr yourser to do taks you least like; how donyou motivate a team not working well together).

There are specific stuff they’re looking for.

There were 4 applicants altogether inc me, last interview tomorrow. Its temp for 8 months initially, if I get it and its either not extended or Indont apply for it if made permanent, I’d revert to current role.

Woukd like to get it (same dept I’m in now and the extra money is half of what I’m on now). But if I dont, I’m happy doing what im doing.

Found out this morning I was unsuccessful, which while expected, was not the news I wanted an hour after testinf+ for covid. 

[Tywin et al.]

I feel like I absolutely fucking crushed that interview, and thankfully what they're trying to do is pretty achievable. 

[Jikm]

If you could have any job in the world, any job at all, what would it be? Make it up if you need to.

I say to myself, "I have to use my Associate's of Sciences in Biology degree." I might think: Biologist studying cats think on the way that they know things without the use of language. But to get down to the job I really deeply desire, I'd like to believe it's Peace and Non-violence professor at some university or some kind of motivational speaker. A poet and writer of essays. Maybe if I really were a different kind of person. So, I land on my dream job being a hospital hostess.

What in the world do you believe you have the passion for? But you don't even need passion you just have to enjoy it. You don't even need skill because this is the Dreamworld. It doesn't even have to make sense. You just need to be alright with doing it eagerly every day.

[Madame deVenoge]

15 hours ago, losers reject said:

If you could have any job in the world, any job at all, what would it be? Make it up if you need to.

What in the world do you believe you have the passion for? But you don't even need passion you just have to enjoy it. You don't even need skill because this is the Dreamworld. It doesn't even have to make sense. You just need to be alright with doing it eagerly every day.

I do what I love to do pretty much every day. Otherwise, I’d be doing a different job.

I have an interview coming up, soon - second interview. Then we will hopefully go to third interview and I will get to keep doing what I’m doing…I’m at real risk of being laid off, and my current company finding someone less expensive in my role.

Edited October 1, 2022 by Chataya de Fleury

[Starkess]

Well I'm at 3 months with the new position! Which sounds far too long but far too short at the same time. Starting a new job is the worst. I know it takes time--any job takes time and at my company everyone says that instead of 6 months it's more like 1-2 years to get comfortable. So every day I am trying to coach myself through "It's gonna get better, it won't stay like this." But then at the same time...what if it doesn't? How many months of my life being miserable is enough data to make a decision? And if not this job, then what??? I uprooted my entire life to move for this job. (Oh and I am on the hook for that relo package if I quit within my first year.) I am 35 and still struggling to find the thing that is going to be a good fit for me. I mean it's highly likely that thing doesn't even exist and my best bet is to keep my head down, save, and retire early. But like, wouldn't it be nice to be a little happy along the way??

Anyway, have vented about this ad nauseum to my poor (extremely supportive) fiancé and to my new therapist. (Who btw I will lose along with my health insurance if I quit.) Now just venting to y'all as well =P 

[JGP]

4 minutes ago, Starkess said:

Well I'm at 3 months with the new position! Which sounds far too long but far too short at the same time. Starting a new job is the worst. I know it takes time--any job takes time and at my company everyone says that instead of 6 months it's more like 1-2 years to get comfortable. So every day I am trying to coach myself through "It's gonna get better, it won't stay like this." But then at the same time...what if it doesn't? How many months of my life being miserable is enough data to make a decision? And if not this job, then what??? I uprooted my entire life to move for this job. (Oh and I am on the hook for that relo package if I quit within my first year.) I am 35 and still struggling to find the thing that is going to be a good fit for me. I mean it's highly likely that thing doesn't even exist and my best bet is to keep my head down, save, and retire early. But like, wouldn't it be nice to be a little happy along the way??

Anyway, have vented about this ad nauseum to my poor (extremely supportive) fiancé and to my new therapist. (Who btw I will lose along with my health insurance if I quit.) Now just venting to y'all as well =P 

I feel this. 

Different industry of course, but a lot of doors opened for me over the years and I marched through all of them [upchain, more money/benefits] Some worked out until I got bored and moved on and/or was sniped, but most were as you've related above. 

I retired early [mostly luck, that] and I don't know? I'm bored. A lot.

Thanks, Trudeau.

 

11 minutes ago, Starkess said:

 But like, wouldn't it be nice to be a little happy along the way??

 

This is the dream. And some people do find it. Hope you do too, Starkess.   

 

[Starkess]

Thanks 

I am definitely on track to retire in my 40s if I stay the course, but 10 years is, in fact, a long-ass time.

I don't doubt I would sometimes be bored, but I have always been aces at entertaining myself. I'd also be doing things like writing which would keep me very busy without much monetary compensation. And I'd rather be bored on my own than suffering in a job! Just those damn bills that need paying, and I'm not down for the 100% frugal rice-and-beans lifestyle, so I need some cushion for traveling and shopping and things.

ETA: Oh and this totally is all intertwined with my mental health, which isn't the best. I've had major depression disorder and general anxiety disorder basically my entire life and it's really hard for me to know how much of my misery is just my brain chemicals out to lunch versus actual external factors I could endeavor to change/control. Or if thinking that I cannot control those factors is part of my depression nothing-ever-gets-better talking. It's a fun merry go round lol

Edited November 21, 2022 by Starkess

[Liffguard]

This isn't a jab at anyone, everyone is different and is engaged by different things, but personally I'm baffled by the idea of being bored without a job. For me work has almost always been the pointless bullshit that I have to grit my teeth and endure in order to pay the bills so I can use the rest of my time to pursue things that actually matter to me. If anything, I've been more stressed out in the past from having too many hobbies or extracurriculars.

I've wanted the "dream job" in the past, and I'm currently doing a degree to hopefully maybe land me in a job I'm passionate about one day, but TBH as time goes on I'm becoming more accepting of the fact that frankly I just hate working.*

So for me, if I can do something that's at least a little bit useful, isn't actively unethical, and provides enough money to pay the bills and enough free time to pursue my actual passions, I'll call that a win.

 

* To be more accurate, I hate everything about how we organise work in the west, and the moral dimensions we impart to it. I hate answering to a boss, I hate answering to an alarm clock, I hate doing pointless shit just because, I hate box-ticking, I hate the scrambling over each other to "get ahead," I hate the way that being miserable, stressed, over-worked and proud of your own exploitation is seen as a virtue. I don't hate doing useful tasks for my fellow humans, but I do hate all the additional crap we've piled on top of that basic concept.

[RhaenysBee]

10 minutes ago, Liffguard said:

This isn't a jab at anyone, everyone is different and is engaged by different things, but personally I'm baffled by the idea of being bored without a job. For me work has almost always been the pointless bullshit that I have to grit my teeth and endure in order to pay the bills so I can use the rest of my time to pursue things that actually matter to me. If anything, I've been more stressed out in the past from having too many hobbies or extracurriculars.

I've wanted the "dream job" in the past, and I'm currently doing a degree to hopefully maybe land me in a job I'm passionate about one day, but TBH as time goes on I'm becoming more accepting of the fact that frankly I just hate working.*

So for me, if I can do something that's at least a little bit useful, isn't actively unethical, and provides enough money to pay the bills and enough free time to pursue my actual passions, I'll call that a win.

 

* To be more accurate, I hate everything about how we organise work in the west, and the moral dimensions we impart to it. I hate answering to a boss, I hate answering to an alarm clock, I hate doing pointless shit just because, I hate box-ticking, I hate the scrambling over each other to "get ahead," I hate the way that being miserable, stressed, over-worked and proud of your own exploitation is seen as a virtue. I don't hate doing useful tasks for my fellow humans, but I do hate all the additional crap we've piled on top of that basic concept.

I agree from the bottom of my heart. 

[JGP]

5 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

I agree from the bottom of my heart. 

Me too. 

I should've prefaced the boredom bit. In retrospect can see how it hits bratty so I'll do it now.

Liff, I suspect it's more a matter of timing. When I decided I was done working for derps, my daughters we're both still relatively young, so school, kiddo things. Then not even a year later covid fell across the world. Spent year and half home schooling the girls because it was the only way to convince the ex that inperson wasn't safe. Travelling then was out as it remains now, unfortunately, and I had to put incredible labor into convincing my ex that the city and province we lived in was shit on its way to a sewage dump instead of a treatment facility, so then the both of us moved our households a province over to maintain our 50/50 parenting schedule. At which point, I should add, she decided that they needed to attend school in person and thus we've had covid a few times now. One of the worst fights my ex and I have ever had was over whether or not to vaccinate the girls. 

[grinds teeth] 

At heart I'm a creative. I write, and I'm also an illustrator. Flows and satisfaction have been hard for the last few years on those fronts [waves around] lots of distractions. Doing good [donating time, money] to the extent that I can has helped a bit. Got a dog [complete asshole Frenchie] but yeah. Looking forward to travelling. The girls want to spend a couple months in Europe which isn't happening in the short [medium?] term, so... yeah.     

 

edit: I really shouldn't complain, but c'est la vie.    

Edited November 22, 2022 by JGP

[Iskaral Pust]

@Starkess I would suggest focusing on achieving some tangible and reasonably significant result over the next 12 months.  Perhaps this job is or isn’t right for you long term but because of the navy and Phd you haven’t really established yourself in your career yet.  This would be a good time to start showing (yourself and others) that you can own and master impactful projects.  And if you ultimately will better fit somewhere else then so be it.  Extract what experience you can and then move on with a clear conscience after giving it a reasonable amount of time. 

[Iskaral Pust]

Dream job?  I’m in a job that I’m enjoying at one of the (famously) very best investment companies in the entire world. And I’m actively shifting my role further in my preferred direction (back into investment content, not just business & strategy) after I succeeded in my initial/transition role as I first arrived here, and I built a team that can mostly operate without me.

When I have happily amassed all the filthy lucre I’ll ever need then I’d happily take up a teaching post at a university — in finance and investments — and care not one whit for the measly pay afforded to adjunct professors.

I’m feeling good about the team I’ve built and their readiness to take-over most of my day job.  But I worry that (1) my highest performer doesn’t really know what she wants long term and will depart eventually to find herself (regardless, I invest a lot of time in coaching her), and (2) my most senior external hire hasn’t really torn up any trees yet (sorry, HappyEnt) and needs to lean into the challenge now rather than become dismayed by the size of the challenge.  It’s a really high bar to be successful here.

Once again my annual performance review was more positive than my self-review.  It’s good to feel appreciated, not least becomes I’m in an industry where that appreciation is very tangible and liquid.  Bonus season is nigh.

[Starkess]

6 hours ago, Iskaral Pust said:

@Starkess I would suggest focusing on achieving some tangible and reasonably significant result over the next 12 months.  Perhaps this job is or isn’t right for you long term but because of the navy and Phd you haven’t really established yourself in your career yet.  This would be a good time to start showing (yourself and others) that you can own and master impactful projects.  And if you ultimately will better fit somewhere else then so be it.  Extract what experience you can and then move on with a clear conscience after giving it a reasonable amount of time. 

Yeah this is definitely the logical answer and I know it. It's just hard to face being so miserable for another year. Sigh.

[Erik of Hazelfield]

Something I’ve learned in my career is that it’s almost always possible to change stuff for the better of you speak to your boss. Drowning in work? Ask them to prioritise your tasks. A function or team of the company that never delivers? Bring it up. Give concrete examples. Small things like this rarely make a bad situation perfect overnight, but it can help. 

The caveat is that you have to do your part. If you get some priorities, make sure to really finish them. 

If your manager doesn’t listen or care - that’s your cue to look for a new job.