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Dating thread - “OOPS! I Did It Again” edition


Chataya de Fleury
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Hmmmmm…Miss Shelby called me this evening.

OTOH, the Doctor has prior reservations upon my time. 

Miss Shelby and I might go to the gym together this week. 

I am so playing with a little bit of fire. I’m just a terrible flirt, and I enjoy attention, even if I’m being monogamous.

Edited by Chataya de Fleury
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May was a jumble of COVID infections and an ankle injury, and then helping a relative settle back home after emergency surgery, in rural Idaho.  I have a PT consult this week and will hopefully get in some rehab.

I’ve been able to see my normal partner 1x in person in the last 6 weeks, and video chat otherwise.  I’ve had to cancel 2x on a really fun NSA lady I haven’t seen in years who got back on the market and wanted to reconnect - I’m hoping to squeeze her in before the end of the month.  Chatted quite deeply with a cute lady from an app for more than a month but couldn’t get out calendars to line up and she kept gently pushing, and I had to say “sorry, my life is complicated and I shouldn’t be part of the dating pool - will contact you later in the summer and genuinely hope your dance card isn’t full.”

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Hmmmmm…..An Update:

My frenemy who let me know about W’s cheating just called me and told me a few interesting things. Keep in mind she met Doctor once, in May. Of note -

1. The Doctor was on her Match conversation history back in February where she had reached out to him and he never responded.

2. In going to look and see about this, she noticed the Doctor was “online an hour ago” and had apparently been on Top Matches. Per her, you don’t get on Top Matches unless you “boost” yourself which you have to do intentionally.

So, she thinks he might be cheating. Side note: I did note that when she sent the screenshot of the profile being “online an hour ago” that he listed his age at 48 :rofl:which is 5 years younger. And he clearly had used pictures that were not 100% current :rofl: 

Now, he calls me every night, and we typically talk for about 30 minutes to an hour. I met one of his best friends on Thursday. I’ve met his senior partner. He came and stayed at my place last night (Friday). That does not generally seem like cheating behavior.

However, he asked if I “had plans this evening” and when I said “no,” he said he had been invited to a birthday party that he didn’t really want to go to, and that he didn’t want to subject me to those people. Then he said that on Sunday, his best friend has tickets to the Black Crowes and that he is the invitee there (mitigating factor here: we never have plans together on Sunday, so that did not seem unusual). 

So, my spidey senses are a bit tweaked. On the other hand, I don’t know how legit it is that someone must intentionally put themselves out there to be on “top matches”. If he was just checking his profile or whatever (or even checking to see when I was last active, which was March). And there is normal human behavior: if he still has an account, which it seems he does (and I probably do, because I deleted the app, but not my account) and he’s checking out my competition, that’s not unusual. 

In fact, if he flirted with someone somewhere, shit, I do that. (We all like being admired.)

But…..hmmmmmm. How seriously should I be taking my Frenemy? Do I trust Doctor? (Answer is yes). But does it make me anxious? (Answer is yes.)

Edited by Chataya de Fleury
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5 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Hmmmmm…..An Update:

My frenemy who let me know about W’s cheating just called me and told me a few interesting things. Keep in mind she met Doctor once, in May. Of note -

1. The Doctor was on her Match conversation history back in February where she had reached out to him and he never responded.

2. In going to look and see about this, she noticed the Doctor was “online an hour ago” and had apparently been on Top Matches. Per her, you don’t get on Top Matches unless you “boost” yourself which you have to do intentionally.

So, she thinks he might be cheating. Side note: I did note that when she sent the screenshot of the profile being “online an hour ago” that he listed his age at 48 :rofl:which is 5 years younger. And he clearly had used pictures that were not 100% current :rofl: 

Now, he calls me every night, and we typically talk for about 30 minutes to an hour. I met one of his best friends on Thursday. I’ve met his senior partner. He came and stayed at my place last night (Friday). That does not generally seem like cheating behavior.

However, he asked if I “had plans this evening” and when I said “no,” he said he had been invited to a birthday party that he didn’t really want to go to, and that he didn’t want to subject me to those people. Then he said that on Sunday, his best friend has tickets to the Black Crowes and that he is the invitee there (mitigating factor here: we never have plans together on Sunday, so that did not seem unusual). 

So, my spidey senses are a bit tweaked. On the other hand, I don’t know how legit it is that someone must intentionally put themselves out there to be on “top matches”. If he was just checking his profile or whatever (or even checking to see when I was last active, which was March). And there is normal human behavior: if he still has an account, which it seems he does (and I probably do, because I deleted the app, but not my account) and he’s checking out my competition, that’s not unusual. 

In fact, if he flirted with someone somewhere, shit, I do that. (We all like being admired.)

But…..hmmmmmm. How seriously should I be taking my Frenemy? Do I trust Doctor? (Answer is yes). But does it make me anxious? (Answer is yes.)

Yeh gawds, im 31 and I consider myself far too old for these kind of games. This dude is in his 50s. That is just pathetic.

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On 6/18/2022 at 12:45 PM, Chataya de Fleury said:

But…..hmmmmmm. How seriously should I be taking my Frenemy? Do I trust Doctor? (Answer is yes). But does it make me anxious? (Answer is yes.)

I'm hardly one to be giving dating advice in any way -- especially when it comes to anything involved with a dating app.  But, I have had an ex try to sabotage a future relationship before.  If you trust him and are anxious about it, the obvious solution is just to ask him - in a non-confrontational way.  Just like, "hey so this frenemy of mine..."  At least if I were him that'd be what I would want.

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25 minutes ago, DMC said:

I'm hardly one to be giving dating advice in any way -- especially when it comes to anything involved with a dating app.  But, I have had an ex try to sabotage a future relationship before.  If you trust him and are anxious about it, the obvious solution is just to ask him - in a non-confrontational way.  Just like, "hey so this frenemy of mine..."  At least if I were him that'd be what I would want.

Yeah, and he KNOWS she is a frenemy. I will mention it as “omg, she is such a snake.”

He did call last night to see if I wanted to go to this party, but I was running and so there was no way I could have gone. Then he called me this morning and told me what a shitshow it was.

He’s sent me several pictures from the concert, tonight, which is NOT what someone who is cheating would be doing.

My son even said, “omg, mom, Victoria is such a toxic person. She’s just jealous. I told you that you should not talk to her ever. Don’t take her calls.”

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I've booked my first holiday with my partner for the end of September. Also my first trip abroad in a few years. Its an exciting step for me, I've never felt close enough yo someone romantically to want to book a trip away with them. We're going to Croatia for a week, though I think we'll be day tripping into Bosnia and Montenegro too. If all goes well we may go to Vienna in December...

 

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On 6/24/2022 at 9:20 PM, HelenaExMachina said:

I've booked my first holiday with my partner for the end of September. Also my first trip abroad in a few years. Its an exciting step for me, I've never felt close enough yo someone romantically to want to book a trip away with them. We're going to Croatia for a week, though I think we'll be day tripping into Bosnia and Montenegro too. If all goes well we may go to Vienna in December...

 

Ooooooh, exciting!!!!! Please let us know how it goes!!!

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UPDATE: since both my hairdresser (that day) and my BFF also said I should inquire regarding exclusivity status, I did so, and received the unequivocal answer that he is not shopping around…”are you? Do you want to?” And I explained the hairdresser and BFF concerns (did not say anything about Victoria, since I didn’t want to get into that. There is some history; where I’m not sure I’ve said everything here that went on, but she is Trouble.)

My son said that Doctor could have gotten tetchy about that question, but since I explained with Hairdresser and BFF concerns, he thought it was ok and not likely to be HWAET?!

Doctor and I had a wonderful weekend, and had great conversations and some great local travels. 

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9 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

UPDATE: since both my hairdresser (that day) and my BFF also said I should inquire regarding exclusivity status, I did so, and received the unequivocal answer that he is not shopping around…”are you? Do you want to?” And I explained the hairdresser and BFF concerns (did not say anything about Victoria, since I didn’t want to get into that. There is some history; where I’m not sure I’ve said everything here that went on, but she is Trouble.)

My son said that Doctor could have gotten tetchy about that question, but since I explained with Hairdresser and BFF concerns, he thought it was ok and not likely to be HWAET?!

Doctor and I had a wonderful weekend, and had great conversations and some great local travels. 

His lack of defensiveness about you raising the subject is a pretty good indication it never crossed his mind.

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Not an acronym.

LInguists can chime in to correct/add informations.

That silent h in what wasn't always silent (same as in which). 

So there used to be sorta h-sound before the w (hwat if you will). You might still find some regions in Scotland, who still produce that h-sound in some shape or form before the double you (I had mentioned it in the past, that I really like the Scotish dialect). Which witch do you mean, King MacBeth? Not sure when the h was dropped from spoken standard English (early modern (Shakespeare) would be my guess).

So this HWAET was very clearly a way of expressing WHAT. 

 

Edited by A Horse Named Stranger
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8 hours ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

Not an acronym.

LInguists can chime in to correct/add informations.

That silent h in what wasn't always silent (same as in which). 

So there used to be sorta h-sound before the w (hwat if you will). You might still find some regions in Scotland, who still produce that h-sound in some shape or form before the double you (I had mentioned it in the past, that I really like the Scotish dialect). Which witch do you mean, King MacBeth? Not sure when the h was dropped from spoken standard English (early modern (Shakespeare) would be my guess).

So this HWAET was very clearly a way of expressing WHAT. 

 

But why the E?

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4 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

But why the E?

Old English. That godforsaken Island has been invaded/colonized by quite a few folks over the years. Including folks from up north. Now we get somewhat back to that Beowulf shizzle (as the most known piece of literature from that era). That viking tale is a) written in runes (at least partially, the /th/ sound is transcribed somewhat differently) b) they had (and scandinavian alphabet still has) that funky diphthong letter ae combined. 

ae later got divorced and the a got custody over what or something like that. 

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Chatting to someone for months, them seeming really enthusiastic and keen. And then suddenly really lukewarm. Just milquetoast vibes. Travelled basically right where I live multiple times, didn’t make effort to meet up. And now seeing other person on their socials. :lol: I’m actually not hugely bothered which probably tells me all I need to know but it does feel a bit of a waste and just highlights to me…my game is garbage. Bloody hell I need to learn how to flirt and be obvious with people cos at the moment this sort of slight interest going nowhere is the story of my life. Also I’m an ugly cow but I can’t help that :lol:  I at least think I’m pretty funny, smart and fun …quite away with the fairies tho…

anyway if you hear of a Flirt Academy anywhere let me know LOL 

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