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Dating thread - “OOPS! I Did It Again” edition


Chataya de Fleury
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9 minutes ago, HoodedCrow said:

Good grief, the guy shouldn’t drink, but you are forewarned. 

Yup, I was definitely forewarned. He’s on my “banned” list now. Not one of the exes that I can be friends with (I do have a few).

Frat Bro is coming over on Thursday for another go. We shall see if I am back to being Lady Limpwood or if he can get the vulture out of its nest. Also, I must explain the benefits of manscaping to him.

Edited by Chataya de Fleury
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Ok. There was once this girl I fell for madly and deeply, when we were both in college, some 25 years ago. Probably my first real infatuation. We never really got together back then, never had proper sex, though we came this fucking close on so many occasions, as this was wierd, complicated relationship, that lasted few years. I always wanted more than she was willing to give and that's that. But our ways parted after we graduated, we both got married and forgot about each other for a long time.

Few years ago, after I separated with my wife, I incidentally learned she got divorced. Long story short, we started messaging each other from time to time. Then more frequently. But we still haven't met, for more than 20 years now, as her love life is - let's put it this way - pretty messed up.

Few days ago it turned out we are both going to Paris to watch Roland Garros 2022 and we both have tickets for the night session on the same day. It went without saying we're going to finally meet in person and we're going to do it in freaking Paris. The only problem is, she's going to be there with one of her former boyfriends/lovers, who would love to become a current one. So the question is, how should I treat this, as a casual meeting of two former almost-lovers, or something entirely different? To be honest I'm not even sure if I really want to step into these waters again. But I do feel strangely excited, something I haven't felt for a while.

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21 minutes ago, 3CityApache said:

But we still haven't met, for more than 20 years now, as her love life is - let's put it this way - pretty messed up.

Few days ago it turned out we are both going to Paris to watch Roland Garros 2022 and we both have tickets for the night session on the same day. It went without saying we're going to finally meet in person and we're going to do it in freaking Paris. The only problem is, she's going to be there with one of her former boyfriends/lovers, who would love to become a current one.

Damn, that sounds like quite the premise for a rom-com.  Sorry, I don't have any advice as I've never even remotely been in that situation, but depending on how it turns out you should think about pitching that to studios.

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A few months ago I dated someone I met on tinder, turned out she used to lurk on the Lit forums and North of the wall here.  I posted about it awhile ago.  We stopped seeing each other around Thanksgiving, I had lost interest in being more than friends, and we both had a couple covid exposures that meant we didn't see each other for awhile.  We've kept in touch mostly just chatting about books and TV shows.

Well the other day she told me that right when we stopped seeing each other she started talking to her ex-fiance and that they got engaged again.  They are likely eloping very soon.  

This is the second person in 18 months who immediately after dating me got engaged.  If anyone wants to get hitched to an old flame, just let me know, you can buy me dinner and take me to a movie,  and then wedding bells will be on your horizon.  

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22 minutes ago, Larry of the Lake said:

This is the second person in 18 months who immediately after dating me got engaged.  If anyone wants to get hitched to an old flame, just let me know, you can buy me dinner and take me to a movie,  and then wedding bells will be on your horizon.  

Unfortunately for you, this premise already was a rom-com.  Not to compare you to Dane Cook!  That's, like, perma-ban level mean.

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3 hours ago, 3CityApache said:

Ok. There was once this girl I fell for madly and deeply, when we were both in college, some 25 years ago. Probably my first real infatuation. We never really got together back then, never had proper sex, though we came this fucking close on so many occasions, as this was wierd, complicated relationship, that lasted few years. I always wanted more than she was willing to give and that's that. But our ways parted after we graduated, we both got married and forgot about each other for a long time.

Few years ago, after I separated with my wife, I incidentally learned she got divorced. Long story short, we started messaging each other from time to time. Then more frequently. But we still haven't met, for more than 20 years now, as her love life is - let's put it this way - pretty messed up.

Few days ago it turned out we are both going to Paris to watch Roland Garros 2022 and we both have tickets for the night session on the same day. It went without saying we're going to finally meet in person and we're going to do it in freaking Paris. The only problem is, she's going to be there with one of her former boyfriends/lovers, who would love to become a current one. So the question is, how should I treat this, as a casual meeting of two former almost-lovers, or something entirely different? To be honest I'm not even sure if I really want to step into these waters again. But I do feel strangely excited, something I haven't felt for a while.

Hmmmm, this sounds exciting…let’s see where this goes!!!

You could play it several different ways, ranging from “see what happens” to “have a candid talk with her.”

Then again, a threesome isn’t off the table.

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10 hours ago, DMC said:

Damn, that sounds like quite the premise for a rom-com.  Sorry, I don't have any advice as I've never even remotely been in that situation, but depending on how it turns out you should think about pitching that to studios.

There's something about that idea... Starring Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller

 

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3 minutes ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

There's something about that idea... Starring Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller

 

The age wouldn't fit, we're both 1974.

Thanks a lot guys, you're being very helpful. ;)

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9 minutes ago, 3CityApache said:

The age wouldn't fit, we're both 1974.

Thanks a lot guys, you're being very helpful. ;)

Cameron Diaz was born 1972, she's turning 50, same as me.

Shocking, I know.

Edited by mormont
because Ms Diaz may not be happy with approximation
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13 hours ago, Larry of the Lake said:

  If anyone wants to get hitched to an old flame, just let me know, you can buy me dinner and take me to a movie,  and then wedding bells will be on your horizon.  

My ex is getting married next weekend, can we set up a date sometime during this week? Thanks. Should be enough time for you to fly to London, right?

Edited by Raja
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16 hours ago, 3CityApache said:

Ok. There was once this girl I fell for madly and deeply, when we were both in college, some 25 years ago. Probably my first real infatuation. We never really got together back then, never had proper sex, though we came this fucking close on so many occasions, as this was wierd, complicated relationship, that lasted few years. I always wanted more than she was willing to give and that's that. But our ways parted after we graduated, we both got married and forgot about each other for a long time.

Some mistakes are worth making?  So I'd say go for it, with the strong caveat that this could be very bad advice.  Good luck!

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@3CityApache For what it's worth, it sounds like you want to see her & are probably still into her based on your post. I don't think it's a mistake meeting up - I think how you treat it depends entirely on the kind of person you are. For me, I'd treat it as you described a casual meeting and then it would just depend on the kind of vibe you get when you see her. Obviously there is a potential for it to be more than that, but I would personally find it very difficult not to at least meet her if I were in your shoes.

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1 hour ago, Raja said:

@3CityApache For what it's worth, it sounds like you want to see her & are probably still into her based on your post. 

I really don't know how I feel about her. To make things more complicated, the fact we never tried to really be together was one of the biggest regrets of my adult life, but on the other hand the relationship we did have was exhausting and emotionally draining as fuck. Of course we're not 22-23 anymore, so I don't expect any of this drama could happen again, but then again, I have no idea what to expect. 

In those thousands of messages we exchanged during last couple of years, whenever the subject of our relationship appeared, we both put it off with ironic and sarcastic comments.

We will meet in Paris, that much is settled (unless Putain nukes us all), but I have really no clue as for how it might go.

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10 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Yes, his cheat was quite manscaped, but his down below area was a nest. Must get buy-on on him fixing that. 

Heh.  Leave it to a frat dude to manscape where it might not be needed (although obviously the chest could be necessary for some) but neglect ground zero.

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