Dating thread - “OOPS! I Did It Again” edition

[Chataya de Fleury]

1 hour ago, Fury Resurrected said:

I tried to quote, here, but snipped too far and can’t delete the post to try again. But:

Urg, that is dismal. 

Edited March 22, 2022 by Chataya de Fleury

[Tywin et al.]

9 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

A woman fingered my ear during sex once. I laughed so hard because she was so earnest about it.

Maybe it was a thing her ex was into and she forgot she had moved on. 

I can take it one step farther. I dated a woman for a bit after college who liked to shove her tongue in my ears during sex. Can't explain why, but tbh, it's not the worst feeling even if it sounds disgusting. 

[Larry of the Lake]

45 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

I can take it one step farther. I dated a woman for a bit after college who liked to shove her tongue in my ears during sex. Can't explain why, but tbh, it's not the worst feeling even if it sounds disgusting. 

*Further, unless your date was getting both ears at the same time

Edited March 23, 2022 by Larry of the Lake

[Chataya de Fleury]

3 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

I can take it one step farther. I dated a woman for a bit after college who liked to shove her tongue in my ears during sex. Can't explain why, but tbh, it's not the worst feeling even if it sounds disgusting. 

Firm liked that, so I did that for him. I could figure he liked it when he tried it on me…he went all quivery when I did it; it does nothing for me. 

The way to tell what someone really wants is often like this. They will do it to you in hopes you reciprocate. 

Sadly, the number of blow jobs I have given is ridiculously disproportionate to the oral action I’ve gotten, except from certain few men.

Boy Toy is now ridiculously excited to see me and has taken the day off to do so. Please keep in mind he works 9 pm to 7 am. So, ahem. This might be good. Full report shall be forthcoming. He’s 32 so one would think he couldn’t possibly need Mr. Cialis, yet. 

[Tywin et al.]

41 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Firm liked that, so I did that for him. I could figure he liked it when he tried it on me…he went all quivery when I did it; it does nothing for me. 

The way to tell what someone really wants is often like this. They will do it to you in hopes you reciprocate. 

Lol, she also clearly wanted me to reciprocate and when I did she turned into a Slip 'N Slide. At least I wasn't being asked to suck on someone's toes (and I hate to admit that I did like it the one time I recall a cutie doing it to me on a dare in HS).

Quote

Sadly, the number of blow jobs I have given is ridiculously disproportionate to the oral action I’ve gotten, except from certain few men.

Just tell the fools that you love to 69. Men aren't tricky creatures. 

[BigFatCoward]

3 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

 

Sadly, the number of blow jobs I have given is ridiculously disproportionate to the oral action I’ve gotten, except from certain few men.

 

Is that not partially due to logistics though? I know when I used to hook up in a bar or a club and have ended up in a back alley (keeping it classy here) one is much easier than the other. 

 

Edited March 23, 2022 by BigFatCoward

[BigFatCoward]

3 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

Lol, she also clearly wanted me to reciprocate and when I did she turned into a Slip 'N Slide. At least I wasn't being asked to suck on someone's toes (and I hate to admit that I did like it the one time I recall a cutie doing it to me on a dare in HS).

 

Toe jobs are awesome both ways, but I never expect it, that is asking a lot of someone. 

[Chataya de Fleury]

14 hours ago, BigFatCoward said:

Is that not partially due to logistics though? I know when I used to hook up in a bar or a club and have ended up in a back alley (keeping it classy here) one is much easier than the other. 

 

As someone who has had lesbian action in a ladies room…one is not any more difficult than the other, from a logistics standpoint. 
 

ETA - damnit, Boy Toy had to reschedule and I haven’t heard from Canadian Consultant. Maybe a plane delay? Maybe he just got flaky?

And to think I shaved my legs…

Well, I can always do some laundry, work some more, go get Covid shot #4 (my dad said “not a bad idea” and since J&J Shot 1 and I managed to avoid Omicron, I’m trusting it with Omicron 2.*)

 

* I had a PCR test every week in December thru February, so I know I was not asymptomatic. And getting COVID would hamper my dating life for a bit.

Edited March 23, 2022 by Chataya de Fleury

[Chataya de Fleury]

People - how goeth thy dating?

I hooked up with a scuba diver I randomly met at my wine bar last night. He’s on his way to Florida. He was quite accomplished at…diving. Ahem. However, his Viagra didn’t kick in for a good bit so…I still texted him this afternoon, anyways, let him know that the next time he’s in ATL he can feel free to call….or if he wants to go diving in the Caribbean. 

Canadian Consultant has not reached out, recently, but c’est la vie; perhaps he is busy. I might text him, today. I looked up his 8-K for his severance package, and it was pretty legit, so I know he is legit, and probably as busy as I am. 

Meanwhile, I have a date with a doctor, tonight, and an IT guy who has cats on Friday!! He dresses up his cats, occasionally. Just stuff like Santa hats or sweaters if it’s cold outside. @Mlle. Zabzie says IT guy will either be a soulmate or a complete nutter.

I’m trying to be very conscious and selective in my dating choices on Match. No one who says that they “want more kids”. No one with very young kids. No one who is “currently reading (his) favorite author, John Grisham.”

Going with people who identify as moderate (which *can* be deceiving; Firm self-identified as a moderate), somewhat liberal, or “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” (which is what I chose.) People with PhDs, MDs, or strong-looking professional careers. People who are reasonably good looking / gym-goers (does not have to be an underwear model) and MUST have good teeth (if only you knew how much time, money, and attention I pay to my teeth, you would know why this is a serious metric for me). 

However, if all this doesn’t work out, this young lady retains the right to find a hot pool boy who is easily impressed with staying at The Ritz-Carlton in Aruba.

Or, I might follow my son’s advice and try a matchmaker. 

[Derfel Cadarn]

9 minutes ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

People - how goeth thy dating?

I hooked up with a scuba diver I randomly met at my wine bar last night. He’s on his way to Florida. He was quite accomplished at…diving. Ahem. However, his Viagra didn’t kick in for a good bit so…I still texted him this afternoon, anyways, let him know that the next time he’s in ATL he can feel free to call….or if he wants to go diving in the Caribbean. 

Canadian Consultant has not reached out, recently, but c’est la vie; perhaps he is busy. I might text him, today. I looked up his 8-K for his severance package, and it was pretty legit, so I know he is legit, and probably as busy as I am. 

Meanwhile, I have a date with a doctor, tonight, and an IT guy who has cats on Friday!! He dresses up his cats, occasionally. Just stuff like Santa hats or sweaters if it’s cold outside. @Mlle. Zabzie says IT guy will either be a soulmate or a complete nutter.

I’m trying to be very conscious and selective in my dating choices on Match. No one who says that they “want more kids”. No one with very young kids. No one who is “currently reading (his) favorite author, John Grisham.”

Going with people who identify as moderate (which *can* be deceiving; Firm self-identified as a moderate), somewhat liberal, or “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” (which is what I chose.) People with PhDs, MDs, or strong-looking professional careers. People who are reasonably good looking / gym-goers (does not have to be an underwear model) and MUST have good teeth (if only you knew how much time, money, and attention I pay to my teeth, you would know why this is a serious metric for me). 

However, if all this doesn’t work out, this young lady retains the right to find a hot pool boy who is easily impressed with staying at The Ritz-Carlton in Aruba.

Or, I might follow my son’s advice and try a matchmaker. 

Tomorrow’s April 1st; casually ask your son if any of his better-heeled friends are in the market

[Chataya de Fleury]

30 minutes ago, Derfel Cadarn said:

Tomorrow’s April 1st; casually ask your son if any of his better-heeled friends are in the market

LOVE IT!!!!!!

”Pumpkin, I need a pool boy. What’s that one friend of yours doing, anyhow? You know, the gym rat.”

[HelenaExMachina]

1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

People - how goeth thy dating?

I hooked up with a scuba diver I randomly met at my wine bar last night. He’s on his way to Florida. He was quite accomplished at…diving. Ahem. However, his Viagra didn’t kick in for a good bit so…I still texted him this afternoon, anyways, let him know that the next time he’s in ATL he can feel free to call….or if he wants to go diving in the Caribbean. 

Canadian Consultant has not reached out, recently, but c’est la vie; perhaps he is busy. I might text him, today. I looked up his 8-K for his severance package, and it was pretty legit, so I know he is legit, and probably as busy as I am. 

Meanwhile, I have a date with a doctor, tonight, and an IT guy who has cats on Friday!! He dresses up his cats, occasionally. Just stuff like Santa hats or sweaters if it’s cold outside. @Mlle. Zabzie says IT guy will either be a soulmate or a complete nutter.

I’m trying to be very conscious and selective in my dating choices on Match. No one who says that they “want more kids”. No one with very young kids. No one who is “currently reading (his) favorite author, John Grisham.”

Going with people who identify as moderate (which *can* be deceiving; Firm self-identified as a moderate), somewhat liberal, or “socially liberal, fiscally conservative” (which is what I chose.) People with PhDs, MDs, or strong-looking professional careers. People who are reasonably good looking / gym-goers (does not have to be an underwear model) and MUST have good teeth (if only you knew how much time, money, and attention I pay to my teeth, you would know why this is a serious metric for me). 

However, if all this doesn’t work out, this young lady retains the right to find a hot pool boy who is easily impressed with staying at The Ritz-Carlton in Aruba.

Or, I might follow my son’s advice and try a matchmaker. 

Someone should document your dating thread posts. They really do bring me so much joy to read.

 

My dating life goes well, much to my own shock. I am still dating the old friend who invited me to the wedding. She joined me when I took the Mothership out for lunch on mother's day (as I said she is an old friend so my parents know her pretty well already anyway) and I told her we were dating which was a welcome relief, honestly. And a nice step on being more honest and open about myself to my family.

We are going to London together for a long weekend in a couple of weeks which should be fun. I still think 3-4 days with someone is quite enough for me though, I still need my independence and time to myself. But things are going well.

Also I wish I had nice teeth, but 10+ years of eating disorders is not good for your teeth. At this point they're practically translucent the enamel is so worn. I have no idea where a dentist would even start with trying to salvage them.

[A Horse Named Stranger]

1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

LOVE IT!!!!!!

”Pumpkin, I need a pool boy. What’s that one friend of yours doing, anyhow? You know, the gym rat.”

It's only fun until Zabz call you about her pumpkin spiced poolboy. 

[Liffguard]

2 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

People - how goeth thy dating?

Visited New York recently. Downloaded Tinder whilst I was there, on the theory of fuck it why not. Got more matches in two days than I would have got in two months back here, even compared with the last time I tried it in London. Apparently the British accent is popular over there? 

[Chataya de Fleury]

20 hours ago, HelenaExMachina said:

Someone should document your dating thread posts. They really do bring me so much joy to read.

 

My dating life goes well, much to my own shock. I am still dating the old friend who invited me to the wedding. She joined me when I took the Mothership out for lunch on mother's day (as I said she is an old friend so my parents know her pretty well already anyway) and I told her we were dating which was a welcome relief, honestly. And a nice step on being more honest and open about myself to my family.

We are going to London together for a long weekend in a couple of weeks which should be fun. I still think 3-4 days with someone is quite enough for me though, I still need my independence and time to myself. But things are going well.

Also I wish I had nice teeth, but 10+ years of eating disorders is not good for your teeth. At this point they're practically translucent the enamel is so worn. I have no idea where a dentist would even start with trying to salvage them.

Thank you, my dear!!!

And (if you are wondering about your dental options) you might want to consider discussing veneers with your dentist

 

ETA - doctor date went VERY WELL!!!! Super nice, awesome guy, he was enthralled by my hair and skin. I have no idea why people are enthralled by hair and skin, but ok  also, he seems FUN and also into travel and “do what the Romans do” when in Rome rather than Firm’s unconscious re-enactment of The White Lotus. (HBO show with the horrible people on vacation in Hawaii)

Edited April 1, 2022 by Chataya de Fleury

[Chataya de Fleury]

16 hours ago, Liffguard said:

Visited New York recently. Downloaded Tinder whilst I was there, on the theory of fuck it why not. Got more matches in two days than I would have got in two months back here, even compared with the last time I tried it in London. Apparently the British accent is popular over there? 

Also, we need to hear moar on this. HOW successful were these matches??? Or does a gentleman not kiss and tell?

[BigFatCoward]

16 hours ago, Liffguard said:

Visited New York recently. Downloaded Tinder whilst I was there, on the theory of fuck it why not. Got more matches in two days than I would have got in two months back here, even compared with the last time I tried it in London. Apparently the British accent is popular over there? 

International sex credit card. 

[DMC]

11 minutes ago, BigFatCoward said:

International sex credit card. 

I used to loathe all you fucks for this until a Mancunian became my best drinking buddy in grad school.

[BigFatCoward]

4 hours ago, DMC said:

I used to loathe all you fucks for this until a Mancunian became my best drinking buddy in grad school.

Never understood that despite growing up on a shite estate in Newcastle, American women thought I was Prince William. 

[A Horse Named Stranger]

So you are bald(ing).