F—-k cancer

[Madame deVenoge]

There are some wonderful and brave people here who have battled cancer and won. I’ve had a cancer scare which turned out to be something to “monitor”. We have all known elderly people (at least 85+ years old) who lived long and happy lives, who found out they had cancer, and that was that, surrounded by grandchildren and great grandchildren. My grandmother was over 100, and the older of her great grandchildren were in their 20s. Her husband had prostate cancer that was growing so slowly, it was (and is) clear that something else will kill him (he’s now at the age of 90) before that cancer does.

This is none of the above.

My best friend’s brother, age 55, only two years older than my current boyfriend and eight years older than me, who should be firmly in the prime of middle age and possibly his second divorce, if things were The Way They Should Be (his second wife is a complete wiatch who stole money from him while they were separated) - has today chosen to go into hospice. He got diagnosed with stage 3B liver cancer maybe a month ago. His only symptom was that he’d lost more weight on the Keto Diet than he’d really planned to lose; oh, and a stabbing back pain he’d attributed to economy seats on his way back from Europe. His workplace was wonderfully accommodating and told him to talks all the time he needed, and put him on paid disability leave at full pay.

His cancer was inoperable, so not a good sign. He’d been diagnosed for maybe a week or two and about to start radiation and chemo when he ended up in the ICU. Kidney failure was occurring. Dialysis was done, a few times, radiation was started, and the lead oncologist softly suggested considering hospice. He and the family said they weren’t ready…and now, today, after a week since then, he says he’s done fighting. He said he’s choosing hospice.

In a way, this is the ideal way to go - be (as far as one knows) 100% healthy and happy, get something incurable, and in a few weeks, be able to make peace and say goodbye to loved ones. BUT NOT AT HIS AGE.

F—-ck cancer.

And go get an annual physical if you’ve been delaying. He had been skipping out on those “due to Covid” and also due to work/life drama. Don’t skip a physical because your SO is evil and you have a lot of work to do. Please. This could have been caught by a blood test at a much earlier stage. 

 

 

[DanteGabriel]

I'm sorry, Chats.

I lost my mother nine years and 11 months ago. She had had trouble sleeping, fluid building up in her lungs, but delayed getting it checked. When she finally got it checked out, stage IV lung cancer. Never smoked in her life, but she had already beaten breast cancer twice by the time she was 40. She lasted 18 months after the diagnosis, with a few scares in between.

She didn't make it to my wedding or meet my son.

Four of her five siblings died of some kind of cancer.

Fuck cancer!

Edited July 19, 2022 by DanteGabriel

[A True Kaniggit]

Fuck cancer on general principle and always.

Sorry CdF. Fuck Cancer 5 times. 
 

I remember one kid only 19, came in for his regularly scheduled chemo. He was fine, he was positive during the visit.

He crashed and died that night. Good kid.

 

 

 

Edited July 19, 2022 by A True Kaniggit

[VigoTheCarpathian]

My uncle, 71 (who I spent two summers with growing up, cowboying in Idaho), came to visit us and teach myself and my two daughters how to ski this February.  He’d been teaching adaptive skiing since he was 30 to veterans and elderly folks, and was in great form, and we had a lot of fun.
 

In April, he went into the hospital with some strange symptoms - diagnosed with glioblastoma and given 12-14 months to live, with outside odds on radiation and chemo.  He had brain surgery and had a difficult time recovering, spent 3 weeks in a rehab hospital, and came home for 2 weeks before he started treatment.  I drove out and stayed with my aunt and him, helping with everything (he was very weak on one side and couldn’t sit up, toilet, wash).  
 

He had 19 days of targeted radiation and oral chemo…but he wasn’t able to keep any liquids or nutrition down, lost 40+ lbs and was unresponsive, even to my aunt and my dad visiting him.  My aunt made the hard decision to put him on hospice, and two days later as they were prepping him to go home, he died.  That was 6 days ago, and I’ve been pretty torn up about it since

Lots of wishes for more time - this topic was very apropos for what I’m going through.  
 

F*ck cancer

[hauberk]

F__k cancer indeed. We’ve been dealing with it in my immediate family for a while now. My wife was 7 years clear post bilateral mastectomy, radiation and chemo. We’re now in. Year two of learning everything there is to know about trials and metastatic cancer treatments.   Also lost my dad 18 months ago at 70 to brain cancer - it was a fast mover, there are days when I hate it for being fast and others for being so slow. 

[hauberk]

5 minutes ago, VigoTheCarpathian said:

My uncle, 71 (who I spent two summers with growing up, cowboying in Idaho), came to visit us and teach myself and my two daughters how to ski this February.  He’d been teaching adaptive skiing since he was 30 to veterans and elderly folks, and was in great form, and we had a lot of fun.
 

In April, he went into the hospital with some strange symptoms - diagnosed with glioblastoma and given 12-14 months to live, with outside odds on radiation and chemo.  He had brain surgery and had a difficult time recovering, spent 3 weeks in a rehab hospital, and came home for 2 weeks before he started treatment.  I drove out and stayed with my aunt and him, helping with everything (he was very weak on one side and couldn’t sit up, toilet, wash).  
 

He had 19 days of targeted radiation and oral chemo…but he wasn’t able to keep any liquids or nutrition down, lost 40+ lbs and was unresponsive, even to my aunt and my dad visiting him.  My aunt made the hard decision to put him on hospice, and two days later as they were prepping him to go home, he died.  That was 6 days ago, and I’ve been pretty torn up about it since

Lots of wishes for more time - this topic was very apropos for what I’m going through.  
 

F*ck cancer

I feel for you and your family.
 

Dad went through the same thing.  We put him through hell for 9 months - 6 at the beginning of the pandemic and it effectively gave him about three tolerable months where he was finally able to reconcile that he was dying. 

[Ormond]

I will be thinking of you and your family.

I still volunteer every Friday at the library at the university I retired from. A young woman librarian there who was only 31 years old was diagnosed with aggressive Cholangiocarcinoma on June 7th,  and died July 7th. She was witty, kind, and brilliant and I think everyone who knew her at the university is still in shock about it. So I have some small understanding of where you are coming from right now.

[Corvinus85]

Lost one of my grandfathers to cancer many years ago; he was only 64. His lifestyle likely contributed, unfortunately. He was a heavy smoker and a radiologist who worked with unsafe machines by today's standards.

But earlier this year my cousin, who is only 30-31, developed a tumor on a testicle. He had surgery as fast as possible but the biopsy showed it was cancerous. He had to do one session of chemo. Hopefully, because they caught it early, it will be enough.

F*ck cancer!

 

[Madame deVenoge]

2 hours ago, hauberk said:

I feel for you and your family.
 

Dad went through the same thing.  We put him through hell for 9 months - 6 at the beginning of the pandemic and it effectively gave him about three tolerable months where he was finally able to reconcile that he was dying. 

I am glad he had three tolerable months.

if all this happened to me, I’d be like, HEY, BF, HEY, KIDDO, I would like sex (from bf) and chocolate (from kiddo) every day, I’m having a makeup artist come to the house every day to do my makeup, and also, I am not even going to pretend to cook anything.

And I will find out exactly how George planned to end the series and surely, George could talk Daniel Abraham into giving me the Kithamar trilogy outline. And, of course, I’d have to know how the new Tad Williams quad-rilogy ends. More good Chardonnay, and I’ll be a happy camper.

Only if I was sure it was the end, though. If not, if it’s something with decent chances, I’d fight. Unfortunately, this is “he tried to fight and the cards were stacked way against him.” Too far

Edited July 19, 2022 by Chataya de Fleury

[Fragile Bird]

Ya. All I can say is fuck cancer.

[LynnS]

I'm sorry too.  My nephew is in the last stage of brain cancer now.  He is only in his thirties and his boy is only 13.  The treatments are terrible to contemplate after his first surgery 8 years ago, the tumor has returned.  The radiation treatment kills brain cells and he suffers from seizures and now memory loss.  We don't know if he will make it to Christmas.  Friends and family have started putting together a memory book for him.

In spite of all that is happening; he is determined to live every minute left to him, to its fullest.  He is going skydiving this month.  My sister (who is in her sixties) is going to jump with him.  All we can do is surround him with love until the day comes when he decides to leave us..

[mcbigski]

Bummer Chats.

My nephew recently spent about 25 days in the hospital including his 6th birthday with leukemia.  Thankfully, the treatments seem to have been effective and he's in the lowest risk group going forward.  But yeah fuck cancer.

The pendantic side of me would also like to make a PSA.  Don't ever attend an event or a march for cancer.  Be against cancer.  That is all.

[Madame deVenoge]

And, he’s gone. Died peacefully in his sleep, last night

He had made his will literally hours before he died.

Do not do this, people. Make a damn will.

[Castellan]

My sympathies Chataya.

My sister died of lung cancer recently.

She had a long struggle to get diagnosed. She had the effrontery to diagnose herself on the basis of having suddenly realised that she had had a dry cough for 6 weeks which meant that the GP felt obliged to assume she was a hysterical patient (also partly because she was not a lifelong heavy smoker and that is the stereotype they are expecting). A chain of consistently cancer-indicating results from scans didn't change his opinion and his initial referral seems to have influenced those reporting on the scans to explain the evidence away. Finally they agreed she had cancer (after opening her up to look) and she obtained through her own efforts a referral to one of the leading cancer surgeons. He said it had been clear it was cancer from early scans onwards and also that the surgical procedure lined up for her at the small private hospital was barbaric. (I should mention that the GP had the strange opinion that you don't refer to a cancer specialist to obtain a diagnosis of whether there is cancer but only after cancer has been diagnosed.) It turned out when this new surgeon went into operate that she had it all over the outside of her lungs - the primaries were adenomas but the secondaries were in a form that did not show up on scans. She got excellent care and a specialist wrote a referral for her to obtain a drug for free that prolonged her life for three years. (It was authorised for use under the public pharmaceutical system for other cancers but not lung - but the companies will supply it free partly as a sort of trial which can give further evidence that it helps with other cancers so it might be approved for them).

Fuck cancer.

Fuck cigarettes.

[hauberk]

20 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

And, he’s gone. Died peacefully in his sleep, last night

He had made his will literally hours before he died.

Do not do this, people. Make a damn will.

I am so sorry. 

[timmett]

Fuck you, cancer. I miss my girl.

[HoodedCrow]

I am a cancer survivor. One thing I wanted to live for was to know the end of ASOIAF. Then there was the finale of the show:(

Still, I am mostly alive. But my a hole GP doesn’t want to be bothered doing a complete physical on me because he knows squat about cancer and thinks my fatigue, lack of appetite and poor sleep are psychosomatic..so he won’t need to bother ordering the torso scans that I am supposed to have. The clinic wants us to pay out of pocket to do a physical. I just got BC Cancer to send him the requirements and info on my atypical cancer. If the cancer comer back in the next two years I’m a goner, but if I make it two more years I am not as likely to die from cancer. Because I did an agressive surgery, I have an 80% chance to live. 
 

Fuck cancer.

[Madame deVenoge]

1 hour ago, HoodedCrow said:

I am a cancer survivor. One thing I wanted to live for was to know the end of ASOIAF. Then there was the finale of the show:(

Still, I am mostly alive. But my a hole GP doesn’t want to be bothered doing a complete physical on me because he knows squat about cancer and thinks my fatigue, lack of appetite and poor sleep are psychosomatic..so he won’t need to bother ordering the torso scans that I am supposed to have. The clinic wants us to pay out of pocket to do a physical. I just got BC Cancer to send him the requirements and info on my atypical cancer. If the cancer comer back in the next two years I’m a goner, but if I make it two more years I am not as likely to die from cancer. Because I did an agressive surgery, I have an 80% chance to live. 
 

Fuck cancer.

I am so sorry to hear of this. I hope your GP gains some sense!! Also, I can’t stand it when doctors think “it’s all in her head”…

[JGP]

My mom got it, but it wasn't what got her. Still a horrible experience. Surgery. Chemo was hard on her.  

 

Fuck cancer 

 

[HoodedCrow]

He graduated last fall. Dickhead. Thanks chats! Did my girl push ups( used to be full ones), shoulder presses, hand exercises, bird dogs, back extensions with breast stroke motions, seated marching with weights, and a devious quad exercise…not all at once. My physio is from Montreal and she helped a great deal( private) I picked her because she is older and a dive master( they are unflappable sometimes)

 

I like doing exercise to Lily Allen…she does the best angry song for me, but I sprained my ankle to “Heart of Glass” by Blondie. I was feeling the beat too much and tripped.

I work hard to keep my weight up, but it is amazing how thin and malnourished is seen as attractive. So my tip for weight loss is get dose dense chemo and don’t eat much sugar.

This stuff is fighting cancer! So boring. I have to think through automatic functions.