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How to win WOT5K GREYJOY EDITION


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YAThe Greyjoy's are the weakest Great House in Westeros, but it is pretty easy for them to win WOT5K if they had've done a few things different from the get go. I'll pick up at the start of ACOK and stay in character to make it more realistic. 

First thing I (as Balon) would do is understand I need to muster my full strength (30,000) men - made of 100 Iron Fleet ships (100 men each) and 500 regular ships (30ish men each). 

I would send Victarion South to capture the Sheilds with the Iron Fleet, and have them all fly Tyrell Banners on their sails on the way so that anyone on Fair Isle or coastal watchmen in the West or Reach just assume it's a Tyrell training exercise, which is what Victarion will explain to anyone if any boats pass by and ask him his intentions.

Once at the Shields Victarion will remove the Tyrell sails and fly Greyjoy sails to show he is not the Tyrells. He will then position his best axe throwers outside each castle with orders to kill any escaping ravens so that they cannot call for aid, giving Victarion a chance to enact the next phase of the plan. 

Victarion will ask to treat with Lord Serry and take him to a local village. Victarion will have previously commanded his men to savagely attack and burn the village and enslave the populace but when he arrives with Lord Serry he will act all surprised and demand his men stop. He will explain to his men in front of Lord Serry that the Shield Island men are the same as the Iron Born and they are kin as they are both islanders with a love of the sea and they are not to be killed or enslaved, and anyone who does will face his axe. Lord Serry will see Victarion is an honourable man and he will swear him his sword and the swords of the Sheild Islands, renouncing the Tyrells and accepting the Greyjoys. At a stroke Victarion has doubled the Greyjoy lands and confirms Lord Serry in his lands and title. Victarion will repeat these steps on all the Shield Islands to win their love. 

Victarion will also tell Lord Serry and the Shield Lords to tell Lord Redwyne that I (Balon) will free the Redwyne twins from Cersei and stop the raiding if he swears his sword and becomes a Greyjoy Bannerman, which he will eventually accept. He will also explain to Lord Redwyne (Paxter) how honourable and trustworthy Victarion is and how incompetent Mace Tyrell is.

Victarion will then sail north and send a raven to Balon to tell him that phase 1 is complete and they have a monopoly of the Western Sea. 

Victarion will sail up a narrow river in single file up the Neck and then using a system of logs and ropes they can roll/ tow/carry their ships over land to end up in White Harbor in the same manner that Ragnar Lothbrook did in Vikings Season 4. 

Once at White Harbor he will defeat the guards there and seize the city as the entire army is South with Robb. By positioning axe throwers outside the city walls and a few in longships in the sea they can fell any escaping ravens. 

Victarion will explain to Wyman Manderly that he has no hope to defeat the Iron Born at sea and if he looks outside his walls he has 100 Iron Fleet ships ready to attack on signal. He also explains that he has the Redwyne Fleet as allies and that the Manderlys should join them and in return they will return them their lands in the Reach that they yearn for. Wyman calls his banners, assembles his remaining men and then he and Victarion put White Harbor to the sword as a message to the North not to scorn the power of Pyke, settling the score that Ned Stark started when they slaughtered Iron Born all those years ago. 

Wyman Manderly, the Manderly Mermaid Fleet and Victarion and the Iron Fleet go South and engage Stannis's sellsail Fleet, defeating it at Dragonstone with the identical move that Stannis used all those years ago to defeat Victarion, showing that Victarion knows that a true commander must suffer a defeat to truly become great, something that Stannis cannot grasp, while the Redwyne Fleet appears to bring up the rear and defeat the retreating boats of Stannis. 

Semi-Canon - Victarion, Nute The Barber and Wyman Manderly find Stannis on his boat with Melisandre and Davos, holding off a dozen Iron Born with his flaming sword, with a dozen more dead at his feet. 

'Surrender my Lord!' Victarion demanded, 'You have been defeated'. 

'Never', declares Stannis, garbled in his Red Gold Crown and diamond studded belt he looked every inch the king, but every man is a king aboard his own ship, Victarion knew. 'All these men are supposed to be my men because I am the king', Stannis said, gritting his teeth so hard and grinding them. 

Victarion considered this for a moment. 'There is a new king now,' Victarion said to everyone. 'I will defeat you now once and for all, so prepare yourself for defeat!' 

With that Davos and Melisandre, Stannis' two shadows, stepped up beside him. 'Now it begins' Stannis said. 

'No.' Wyman Manderly said, brandishing his Trident. 'Now it ends' said Nute The Barber, walking up to join his friends and throwing a throwing axe into the air only to catch it again. Victarion smirked, knowing he had kraken themed full plate armor on and a massive axe. This was what he was made for, and then as sudden as a thunderbolt the battle was begun. 

'Melisandre, used a fiery blast!' Stannis demanded. His witch was quick to do what she was told, but Victarion only laughed. 'You whore. You are surrounded by water, You're fire will be so weak'. Knowing he was right but having no choice, Melisandre blasted a gout of medium flames directly at Wyman Manderly. 'You fat sack of suet, you have a massive belly filled with Lampreys, and they are all going to get just as cooked as you, Lord too fat to even sit on a horse anymore,' Stannis gloated. Wyman Manderly ignored the ribald jests and readied himself for what came next.

Wyman Manderly spun his Trident at blinding speeds to deflect the flames from her palms and they were sent away from him harmlessly........... and right into the face of Ser Davos of House Sea Worth, Hand of the King and the Onion Knight. 

'Looks like roast onion is back on the menu, boys', said Lord Manderly to thunderous applause. 

Davos fell, blinded, defeated and smelling like pork crackling. 'Why did you do that?' Stannis demanded of Melisandre, who was so upset and embarrassed. Sensing that he had a moment, Victarion seized the same moment and said to Nute The Barber, 'Nute The Barber, show them what for it mean to be....... Iron Born!' Nute then threw a throwing axe at blinding speed, as fast and swift as a barracuda cutting through the crystal clear waters of the Summer Isles. 

At this range Melisandre knew she wouldn't be able to dodge, and lacking any other alternative she put her arms out wide, accepting her fate. The axe took her clean in the gut, and she grunted and wailed with pain. In her death throws she staggered about the deck as Victarion moved to finish her off. His punch too her clean in the mouth, knocking her over deck and splashing into the murky depths. 'You're reign is at an end' Wyman Manderly muttered. 

Without any more allies, Stannis had but one choice, stand and fight. Brandishing his burning sword he lunged, and Victarion, Kraken-themed-axe in hand, rushed to meet then. In the Game of Thrones there can be only one, Victarion knew, and this time it was going to be him. 

Sword met axe in a song of steel, a deadly dance, a poem of parries. Finally, a left handed swing from Stannis caused his sword to get stuck in Victarion's soft pinewood Shield, time enough for Wyman manderly to ram his Trident through Stannis' thigh, causing him to sink to his knees. Victarion quickly chopped off his sword hand at the shoulder joint and Nute the Barber kicked him square in the face to send him onto his back. 'You have been disarmed,' Victarion explained to Stannis. 'Yield' Stannis said.....

Part 2 Coming 

 

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I very rarely comment in a comedic way without adding to the speculation/rational conversation but: This started out as a serious presentation of a scenario for an Ironborn victory in TWOT5K and ended up as a bizarre retelling of a DragonFable quest. :laugh:

(But in seriousness: I don't think that House Manderly would be interested in The Reach anymore. It's been like a thousand years or more, I think, and they are very content in The North. And very loyal to House Stark and The North. And also I think that Stannis definitely understands the value/lesson of having been defeated, and encompasses that into this own style in the main story.)

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If this is a serious thread, then I think Balon Greyjoy's only chance to win the war is if "win the war" means don't get steamrolled. The ironborn cannot win a sustained war against the mainland forces. They can only hope to raid and maybe stablish some stronghold in the western coast.

If this not a serious thread, then I hope Davos resurrects and became the sizzle onion: tastier and sweeter and deadlier.

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