Dating Thread: Total Eclipse of the Heart edition

[DMC]

3 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

Sadly, it was too cold out for them. Hey, I get it, Atlanta chill is bone-chilling. 

My sister and BIL just got back from a wedding in Atlanta.  They said it got down to the 20s during the outside reception. (!)

[Tywin et al.]

26 minutes ago, DMC said:

My sister and BIL just got back from a wedding in Atlanta.  They said it got down to the 20s during the outside reception. (!)

Sounds nice this time of year with no wind.

I sure hope there wasn't any ice. 

[DMC]

15 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

I sure hope there wasn't any ice. 

Heh.  Hey I'm just glad my sister got to party and get wasted for a couple of nights.  My mother and I took care of the little one for 48 hours - this was the first time my sister's been away from her since she was born.  And yeesh, even though I love her to death and she makes it all worth it even without being the most adorable baby ever, was that a good reminder why I never want kids...

Not to mention having to spend 48 hours straight with my mother, but that's neither here nor there.  Needless to say I'm drinking very heavily right now since I got back to my apartment a couple hours ago.

[Larry of the Lake]

On 11/19/2022 at 11:07 PM, VigoTheCarpathian said:

Not a great understanding of polycule, but will be quoting this back at you RE: Elon Musk and Trump.

@Larry of the Lake - glad things turned out alright, and am selfishly curious about what occurred (mainly to know how advice did/did not jibe with the situation).

Well the advice was limited to the info I provided, I think all the feedback I received here was valuable and thoughtful.  I think I alluded to me being pretty sure they were non-monogamous but had never known of an actual other person involved or explicit statement of polyamory, more of a vibe.  They both are from very conservative families that have strong local business ties where non-monogamy would be a big deal.  

My concern for what I did being a bad thing was mostly 1) I was not certain about their status.  I acted in a state of ignorance.  2) recently they have been talking about having a family of their own and R made a few comments suggesting they were monogamous when this came up on conversation.  3) B asked me "not to tell anyone about this".

After running into B by herself the other day we were able to speak openly the other day and I learned that item 3 was intended to apply to anyone but R (we were intoxicated and I did not recollect this nuance) and was specifically about her not wanting anyone in the community or their families to know about their situation.  Wish I had followed up immediately to sort this out but not knowing their situation exactly I was hesitant to reach out in anyway that could compromise her.  

So the lesson learned was ask and talk about all possible unknowns before hand.  They do have a lot of restrictions/ rules (one is that anything done under the influence of hallucinogenics is always permissible and encouraged) and the recent incident was the first in the last 5 years or so that either of them went beyond the couple.

We all talked the day before I posted the last thing and while I was relieved, I'm also hesitant to pursue anything further.  Not off the table but definitely treading with caution, a little communication from anywhere (self included) could have averted a bunch of bad feelings. 

Tldr: a sober conversation ahead of time would have made this something I never even posted about.  I what would indo differently going forward?  Get an explicit statement that no one is cheating or being cheated upon.  Part of me still feels a little guilty because I honestly don't know what I would have done if she'd said she was willing to cheat in that moment.  But that wasn't the case, she had a clean conscience the entire time, so I really can't say.  I am sleeping better.

Thank you all for the input and support even where it's been critical.  

[Rin33]

I am not dating anyone. I do not know how come; I'm a pretty nice chick! I seem to not be able to get into dating apps, and that may be just the way the cookie crumbles.  Hinge is a dating app that I ended up liking. I think I should try to get out there around people and try to use my ways to get a man to notice me. I am so lonely sometimes, but I want to be with someone who is truly special to me. I guess I have to look. It will probably be funner once I resolutely decide to try with a brave heart and a clear mind to be fruitful in my search for the one.

[BigFatCoward]

On 11/21/2022 at 2:16 AM, DMC said:

 

Not to mention having to spend 48 hours straight with my mother, but that's neither here nor there.  Needless to say I'm drinking very heavily right now since I got back to my apartment a couple hours ago.

I used to think I drank a lot before kids. 

[Madame deVenoge]

I’m drinking a lot on an airplane, but that’s because I woke up at 1 am and it is now 3:30 pm (all times quoted are local time to the eurozone) and I’m now halfway over the Atlantic.

The Doctor and I had a FABULOUS time. We both got sick with A Cold about halfway through the trip. He had a naaaasssty bout of food poisoning in Lisbon. 

Despite the above, we had an AMAZING time

[mcbigski]

12 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

I’m drinking a lot on an airplane, but that’s because I woke up at 1 am and it is now 3:30 pm (all times quoted are local time to the eurozone) and I’m now halfway over the Atlantic.

The Doctor and I had a FABULOUS time. We both got sick with A Cold about halfway through the trip. He had a naaaasssty bout of food poisoning in Lisbon. 

Despite the above, we had an AMAZING time

All's well that ends well.

So I've been single again for a couple months.  Wondering about the geographic difference, but in New England at least, it seems like Hinge > Bumble >>>> Tinder (which 10 minutes of was enough.  So fake.). 

 

[Madame deVenoge]

8 hours ago, mcbigski said:

All's well that ends well.

So I've been single again for a couple months.  Wondering about the geographic difference, but in New England at least, it seems like Hinge > Bumble >>>> Tinder (which 10 minutes of was enough.  So fake.). 

 

I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?

I had uncommonly good luck with Match this time around. OKC had been my go-to for a bit, but the guys there seemed less serious, or interested in open relationships, which is fine but they didn’t know the way to really go about that without being giant douchebags. 

I tried Hinge once, but that was back when I had a social media presence. Never used Bumble, and couldn’t stand Tinder.

[mcbigski]

Nothing terribly drastic happened.  We just kept having the same fight when she was drunk and once no one else was around. 

Her usual personality is to make everyone happy.  Which was fine until a pretty large amount of drinking and there wasn't an audience.  Then not only airing of grievances but also putting other frustrations I wasn't the cause of on me.

At least that's how I saw it.  Regardless, said I wouldn't keep tolerating, and followed through. 

Edited December 10, 2022 by mcbigski

[Madame deVenoge]

8 hours ago, mcbigski said:

Nothing terribly drastic happened.  We just kept having the same fight when she was drunk and once no one else was around. 

Her usual personality is to make everyone happy.  Which was fine until a pretty large amount of drinking and there wasn't an audience.  Then not only airing of grievances but also putting other frustrations I wasn't the cause of on me.

At least that's how I saw it.  Regardless, said I wouldn't keep tolerating, and followed through. 

Ah, that makes sense. Sorry to hear it.

[Madame deVenoge]

He needed to be alone this Friday night, which was fair, considering he had about 10 physicals a day, not to mention the sick people…and there are a lot of sick people. So, I hung out with the cats and caught up on The White Lotus.

I knew also that at that point, there was probably all the unwashed clothing strewn about his bedroom and he was probably still tripping over luggage. It was better to stay home.

On Saturday, we went to a party at the house of a friend of his and we ubered there. I was a bit worried that he’d smoked a bit much or drank a bit much because he was repeating himself (not obnoxiously, but there was some repetition) and almost passed out in the Uber home, and looked at risk for puking.

We got home. He denied smoking anything (I was even wondering cigar, sometimes those can be puke-inducing) and I had seen all his drinks: one Jack Daniel’s, three glasses of red wine, half a glass of champagne. Not excessive for the amount of time (5 hours). Perhaps exhaustion? He started puking his guts out. And then the other end. And back to puking. By this time, I figured any opportunity for romance was nil, and fell asleep as he was taking a shower 

Thank goodness he woke up back to 100% this morning. A young lady has needs 

[Mlle. Zabzie]

23 hours ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

He needed to be alone this Friday night, which was fair, considering he had about 10 physicals a day, not to mention the sick people…and there are a lot of sick people. So, I hung out with the cats and caught up on The White Lotus.

I knew also that at that point, there was probably all the unwashed clothing strewn about his bedroom and he was probably still tripping over luggage. It was better to stay home.

On Saturday, we went to a party at the house of a friend of his and we ubered there. I was a bit worried that he’d smoked a bit much or drank a bit much because he was repeating himself (not obnoxiously, but there was some repetition) and almost passed out in the Uber home, and looked at risk for puking.

We got home. He denied smoking anything (I was even wondering cigar, sometimes those can be puke-inducing) and I had seen all his drinks: one Jack Daniel’s, three glasses of red wine, half a glass of champagne. Not excessive for the amount of time (5 hours). Perhaps exhaustion? He started puking his guts out. And then the other end. And back to puking. By this time, I figured any opportunity for romance was nil, and fell asleep as he was taking a shower 

Thank goodness he woke up back to 100% this morning. A young lady has needs 

Sounds like something he picked up at one of his physicals.  There are lots of something’s going around.  Take care of yourself…

[Tywin et al.]

1 hour ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

Sounds like something he picked up at one of his physicals.  There are lots of something’s going around.  Take care of yourself…

It's crazy. I've been home for the last month or so and hence watching way too much TV. Journalists, be it sports or politics, are dropping like flies left and right.

[Mlle. Zabzie]

1 hour ago, Tywin et al. said:

It's crazy. I've been home for the last month or so and hence watching way too much TV. Journalists, be it sports or politics, are dropping like flies left and right.

That was really sad.  

[Tywin et al.]

1 hour ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

That was really sad.  

Sorry, I should be more clear (I'm assuming you're referencing Wahl here). What I meant is that while I've had the TV on a lot in the background it's surprising just how many hosts and/or cohosts are being replaced because they're out sick. I've heard experts say this flu seasons is going to be especially bad and that indeed does appear to be the case. 

[Mlle. Zabzie]

On 12/12/2022 at 5:33 PM, Tywin et al. said:

Sorry, I should be more clear (I'm assuming you're referencing Wahl here). What I meant is that while I've had the TV on a lot in the background it's surprising just how many hosts and/or cohosts are being replaced because they're out sick. I've heard experts say this flu seasons is going to be especially bad and that indeed does appear to be the case. 

I was referencing Wahl.  But yeah.  I have school age kids and can confirm.

[DMC]

47 minutes ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

I was referencing Wahl.  But yeah.  I have school age kids and can confirm.

I moved here almost four months ago.  Since then my sister, her husband, and/or their baby have been sick probably about 75% of the time.

[Madame deVenoge]

20 hours ago, DMC said:

I moved here almost four months ago.  Since then my sister, her husband, and/or their baby have been sick probably about 75% of the time.

I have no school-age kid (graduate school does not count), but I attempt to stay well away from those people in the office with small humans. Small humans are germ-generating machines in the best of times.

Of course, Zabs has the most adorable, best behaved, and truly thoughtful small humans whom I actually like. 

Did I ever tell y’all that my kid wanted to be her cat nanny?  On the other hand, he’s MY cat nanny, and a good cat nanny is hard to find. With her, he’d just get a paycheck. With me, he gets a roof over his head and student loan payments made.

BUT, speaking of the kid…

He does not like the Doctor. Not for any reason he can pin down. He just thinks that the Doctor is “kind of snakey”. 

Edited December 14, 2022 by Chataya de Fleury

[Mlle. Zabzie]

1 hour ago, Chataya de Fleury said:

I have no school-age kid (graduate school does not count), but I attempt to stay well away from those people in the office with small humans. Small humans are germ-generating machines in the best of times.

Of course, Zabs has the most adorable, best behaved, and truly thoughtful small humans whom I actually like. 

Did I ever tell y’all that my kid wanted to be her cat nanny?  On the other hand, he’s MY cat nanny, and a good cat nanny is hard to find. With her, he’d just get a paycheck. With me, he gets a roof over his head and student loan payments made.

BUT, speaking of the kid…

He does not like the Doctor. Not for any reason he can pin down. He just thinks that the Doctor is “kind of snakey”. 

Has Pumpkin ever approved of your special friends?