Why didn't Ned bring Lord Dustin's bones with him?

[Tyrosh Lannister]

He carried Lyanna's bones, why not Lord Dustin's? His actions strained the relationship between house stark and lady dustin

[Craving Peaches]

I can see a few possibilities.

1. The body was absolutely trashed. All the bones were broken. Nothing left to bring home.

2. The body wasn't there for some reason. Either Lord Dustin himself wasn't present (unlikely) or someone stole the body.

3. There was some specific reason why Ned wished to burry/leave the bones there.

[King_Tristifer_IV_Mudd]

Lord Dustin ran away from Barb to be with some lady he met

[Jon Fossoway]

1 hour ago, PrinceAemondTargaryen said:

Lord Dustin ran away from Barb to be with some lady he met

If I recall correctly, Eddard buried at the site every companion who died in the fight But as for Lyanna Stark, her remains he brought back to Winterfell. An odd choice.

[King_Tristifer_IV_Mudd]

In all seriousness, it is very odd that Ned didn’t bring their bones back. There has to be a reason other than logistics.

[Evolett]

We actually do not know how Northerners go about preparing the dead for burial or if in their case the Silent Sisters, being of the Faith, are involved at all. I mean, flesh has to be stripped from bones.... Do the people of the North / worshippers of the Old Gods have professional undertakers? What are the logistics involved, rituals performed and so on? From this point of view it may have been more appropriate to simply bury the dead on location. 

If their customs do allow for the Silent Sisters to handle the dead, then it would have been a matter of transporting several corpses to the nearest house of the Silent Sisters. Bodies do begin to decay rather quickly and the ToJ is in the middle of nowhere in a hot region. Perhaps this was not practical at the time, hence the need for a quick burial. But Ned would never have left his sister's corpse behind and transporting one body to the nearest undertaker in Dorne is an easier task than having to deal with all those who died. We do not know how many people attended to Lyanna in the tower or if they were willing to help in transporting the dead at all. Returning the horse may have been Lord Dustin's last wish. 

[kissdbyfire]

1 hour ago, Evolett said:

If their customs do allow for the Silent Sisters to handle the dead,

The silent sisters prepared Ned’s own body. 

[Aejohn the Conqueroo]

I suspect that there's more to the story than Ned was willing to share with the widow Dustin. It's not like he would have trusted her more than say his own wife.

[Mourning Star]

This is a great and open question, because there sure seems to be some reason Ned didn't send Lord Dustin's bones home.

"I gave them over to the silent sisters, to be sent north to Winterfell. Jory would want to lie beside his grandfather."
It would have to be his grandfather, for Jory's father was buried far to the south. Martyn Cassel had perished with the rest. Ned had pulled the tower down afterward, and used its bloody stones to build eight cairns upon the ridge. It was said that Rhaegar had named that place the tower of joy, but for Ned it was a bitter memory. They had been seven against three, yet only two had lived to ride away; Eddard Stark himself and the little crannogman, Howland Reed. He did not think it omened well that he should dream that dream again after so many years.
A Game of Thrones - Eddard X

One might note that Martyn Cassel dies "with all the rest", and that building eight cairns does not guarantee that there are eight bodies.

 He dreamt an old dream, of three knights in white cloaks, and a tower long fallen, and Lyanna in her bed of blood.
In the dream his friends rode with him, as they had in life. Proud Martyn Cassel, Jory's father; faithful Theo Wull; Ethan Glover, who had been Brandon's squire; Ser Mark Ryswell, soft of speech and gentle of heart; the crannogman, Howland Reed; Lord Dustin on his great red stallion. Ned had known their faces as well as he knew his own once, but the years leech at a man's memories, even those he has vowed never to forget. In the dream they were only shadows, grey wraiths on horses made of mist.
They were seven, facing three. In the dream as it had been in life. Yet these were no ordinary three. They waited before the round tower, the red mountains of Dorne at their backs, their white cloaks blowing in the wind. And these were no shadows; their faces burned clear, even now. Ser Arthur Dayne, the Sword of the Morning, had a sad smile on his lips. The hilt of the greatsword Dawn poked up over his right shoulder. Ser Oswell Whent was on one knee, sharpening his blade with a whetstone. Across his white-enameled helm, the black bat of his House spread its wings. Between them stood fierce old Ser Gerold Hightower, the White Bull, Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
A Game of Thrones - Eddard X

And that is the only mention of Lord Dustin until Cat's brief recollection of him during the Red Wedding (one may note the possibility that breast feeding a child, or children, was at issue for Ned after the tower of joy):

When Lord Dustin had beheld her naked, he'd told Ned that her breasts were enough to make him wish he'd never been weaned. Poor man, she thought. He had ridden south with Ned, never to return. Catelyn wondered how many of the men here tonight would be dead before the year was done. Too many, I fear.
A Storm of Swords - Catelyn VII

After this it isn't until Dance that the name Dustin resurfaces.

The obvious first question, at least to me, is can we conclusively say Lord Dustin died at the tower of joy? And while I think there is reason to be suspicious, it boils down to how one interprets, "yet only two had lived to ride away". Is it possible Lord Dustin lived but was injured and unable to ride?

If, even just for the sake of speculating, you consider this possibility, I think there is one fantastic possibility for what happened to him presented to the readers. Taken alone it is little enough, but in conjunction with other details it may bear fruit!

I would suggest that it's possible that Lord Willam Dustin survived the tower of joy and this surviving one of Ned's grey wraiths (Howland, also is described as a wraith and survived) is the man Dany mistakenly believes is Willem Darry.

She remembered Ser Willem dimly, a great grey bear of a man, half-blind, roaring and bellowing orders from his sickbed. The servants had lived in terror of him, but he had always been kind to Dany. He called her "Little Princess" and sometimes "My Lady," and his hands were soft as old leather. He never left his bed, though, and the smell of sickness clung to him day and night, a hot, moist, sickly sweet odor.
A Game of Thrones - Daenerys I\

She also sees a vision of him in the House of the Undying:

She fled from him, but only as far as the next open door. I know this room, she thought. She remembered those great wooden beams and the carved animal faces that adorned them. And there outside the window, a lemon tree! The sight of it made her heart ache with longing. It is the house with the red door, the house in Braavos. No sooner had she thought it than old Ser Willem came into the room, leaning heavily on his stick. "Little princess, there you are," he said in his gruff kind voice. "Come," he said, "come to me, my lady, you're home now, you're safe now." His big wrinkled hand reached for her, soft as old leather, and Dany wanted to take it and hold it and kiss it, she wanted that as much as she had ever wanted anything. Her foot edged forward, and then she thought, He's dead, he's dead, the sweet old bear, he died a long time ago. She backed away and ran.
A Clash of Kings - Daenerys IV

One may note that the WIllem of Dany's dreams is injured, seemingly in the leg.

And this my friend, is one of the many paths that lead to Lemongate. Because it is not the only reason to be suspicious of Dany's memories of her past, and these discrepancies beg questions. Was the house with the red door in Braavos? Was her memory of her protector really Willem Darry? Is she really the daughter of Aerys and Rhaella?

In my opinion this is the crux of one of the biggest and best plot twists still to come.

[Evolett]

2 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

The silent sisters prepared Ned’s own body. 

Ned was beheaded in King's Landing, his body in custody of the crown. If indeed the North has other funeral customs, there wasn't anyone around to protest. I'm not saying the North holds to special rituals because we do not know this, yet there are few septs in the North, only two if my memory serves me right. Unless the Silent Sisters travel up North everytime there is a body requiring preparation before burial, the question of who takes care of it and what this might have meant for the five Northerners who died south remains.  

[Mourning Star]

15 minutes ago, Evolett said:

Ned was beheaded in King's Landing, his body in custody of the crown. If indeed the North has other funeral customs, there wasn't anyone around to protest. I'm not saying the North holds to special rituals because we do not know this, yet there are few septs in the North, only two if my memory serves me right. Unless the Silent Sisters travel up North everytime there is a body requiring preparation before burial, the question of who takes care of it and what this might have meant for the five Northerners who died south remains.  

The Northerners also use the SIlent Sisters to take Jory's body north to Winterfell...

"I gave them over to the silent sisters, to be sent north to Winterfell. Jory would want to lie beside his grandfather."

[kissdbyfire]

34 minutes ago, Evolett said:

Ned was beheaded in King's Landing, his body in custody of the crown. If indeed the North has other funeral customs, there wasn't anyone around to protest. I'm not saying the North holds to special rituals because we do not know this, yet there are few septs in the North, only two if my memory serves me right. Unless the Silent Sisters travel up North everytime there is a body requiring preparation before burial, the question of who takes care of it and what this might have meant for the five Northerners who died south remains.  

Yes, but I think it does suggest that it isn’t something they’re particularly opposed to, because we have Cat’s thoughts and if that were the case, surely she would have had some thoughts about it? 

[kissdbyfire]

20 minutes ago, Mourning Star said:

The Northerners also use the SIlent Sisters to take Jory's body north to Winterfell...

"I gave them over to the silent sisters, to be sent north to Winterfell. Jory would want to lie beside his grandfather."

Ha, totally forgot that…

[Roswell]

15 hours ago, Tyrosh Lannister said:

He carried Lyanna's bones, why not Lord Dustin's? His actions strained the relationship between house stark and lady dustin

Ned was callous.  He didn't take the time to think how failing to bring Dustin's bones to the family would be perceived.  He shares the same lack of this leadership skill as his sons Jon and Robb. 

[King_Tristifer_IV_Mudd]

11 minutes ago, Roswell said:

Ned was callous.  He didn't take the time to think how failing to bring Dustin's bones to the family would be perceived.  He shares the same lack of this leadership skill as his sons Jon and Robb. 

Lol

[Ring3r]

My thought on this was always that there was need of great speed after the Tower of Joy.  The bodies were buried quickly and he took with him only Lyanna's body, out of love for his sister, and her child, along with Howland Reed.  With everyone else dead, it may be that they were not able to bring all of the bodies.  They may also have needed to keep a very low profile on the road.

Seeing as how Lady Dustin seems to be the only person upset by this, and how she's got all sorts of wacky conspiracy theories of her own, I think it's likely the point is also not nearly as big as fans have made it.

Lady Dustin is bitter at Ned....but it seems likely that the whole not bringing home the remains thing is just the focal point of that bitterness, when the underlying issue is that Ned didn't bring her husband home ALIVE.  I feel like there's probably an underlying reason for her bitterness with the maesters as well.  Psychologically, it would make sense.

Given her pre-marital affair, it wouldn't surprise me if her father or mother hadn't made a maester give her Moon Tea to abort the possible pregnancy, and her bitterness over that lead to her prejudice against the maesters.

 

[kissdbyfire]

25 minutes ago, Roswell said:

Ned was callous.  He didn't take the time to think how failing to bring Dustin's bones to the family would be perceived.  He shares the same lack of this leadership skill as his sons Jon and Robb. 

Yes, absolutely. Ned is a vicious sadist. Oh and all the north and everyone else who think he’s honourable are desperate masochists obviously. /s

[Ring3r]

51 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

Yes, absolutely. Ned is a vicious sadist. Oh and all the north and everyone else who think he’s honourable are desperate masochists obviously. /s

Seriously.  The internet is 55 minutes of edgelords taking-the-piss, with 5 minutes of honest conversation. Glad we can laugh about it at least!

[kissdbyfire]

1 hour ago, Ring3r said:

My thought on this was always that there was need of great speed after the Tower of Joy.  The bodies were buried quickly and he took with him only Lyanna's body, out of love for his sister, and her child, along with Howland Reed.  With everyone else dead, it may be that they were not able to bring all of the bodies.  They may also have needed to keep a very low profile on the road.

Yeah, I agree. If anything, it’s somewhat unrealistic that he was able to take Lyanna… it’s not like he could stop at KL or elsewhere with a [likely] rotting body to have the silent sisters do their thing. The alternative would be to carry the whole rotting body all the way to Winterfell.

1 hour ago, Ring3r said:

Seeing as how Lady Dustin seems to be the only person upset by this, and how she's got all sorts of wacky conspiracy theories of her own, I think it's likely the point is also not nearly as big as fans have made it.

Lady Dustin is bitter at Ned....but it seems likely that the whole not bringing home the remains thing is just the focal point of that bitterness, when the underlying issue is that Ned didn't bring her husband home ALIVE.  I feel like there's probably an underlying reason for her bitterness with the maesters as well.  Psychologically, it would make sense.

She is. Or she’s really good at faux outrage. And it could be b/c Ned didn’t bring her husband back alive. There’s also the fact that she wanted Brandon, who was then betrothed to Cat. Her father thought Ned could be a good match for her, but then Brandon dies and Ned is betrothed to Cat in Brandon’s place. So that may have something to do w/ it. 

1 hour ago, Ring3r said:

Given her pre-marital affair, it wouldn't surprise me if her father or mother hadn't made a maester give her Moon Tea to abort the possible pregnancy, and her bitterness over that lead to her prejudice against the maesters.

It’s possible. She doesn’t say anything that specifically hints at that iirc, but then she wouldn’t discuss this w/ Theon.

31 minutes ago, Ring3r said:

Seriously.  The internet is 55 minutes of edgelords taking-the-piss, with 5 minutes of honest conversation. Glad we can laugh about it at least!

I know. And it doesn’t matter if you reply w/ the text and point things out, or just go for the sarcasm, the type of nonsensical absurdity you get in response is the same. This type of thing may very well be my # 1 reason to want TWoW. It’s gonna be hilarious, and we may see a significant number of posters vanish into thin air.

 

ETA: missing letter

[John Suburbs]

On 11/2/2022 at 3:30 AM, Tyrosh Lannister said:

He carried Lyanna's bones, why not Lord Dustin's? His actions strained the relationship between house stark and lady dustin

It's common for soldiers killed in battle to be buried nearby. Flanders Field is full of Brits, Canadians, Americans, as well as Germans and Austrians.