the weirdest theories you've ever seen

[EggBlue]

39 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

Will you please stop?

hey! this is a *safe* space to share weird theories freely and thoroughly judge them! don't tell him to stop! just judge the shit out of the so called "theory"! 

thank you very much!

and happy new year!

[kissdbyfire]

2 minutes ago, EggBlue said:

hey! this is a *safe* space to share weird theories freely and thoroughly judge them! don't tell him to stop! just judge the shit out of the so called "theory"! 

thank you very much!

and happy new year!

I wasn’t telling him to literally stop. I’m sure @SeanF understood exactly what I meant… but whatever. 

[SeanF]

Yes, these are the hilariously ridiculous theories.

 

[Groo]

Everything is secretly controlled by the Bloodraven and Quaithe, who is really Shiera Seastar. It's all some sort of elaborate chess match between the two.

[EggBlue]

6 minutes ago, kissdbyfire said:

I wasn’t telling him to literally stop. I’m sure @SeanF understood exactly what I meant… but whatever. 

I was just joking 

[sifth]

1 hour ago, Gilbert Green said:

That's actually a good theory, though I guess that's not what you meant.

I mean it’s not and it makes no sense. In fact it’s one of the worst I’ve heard.

[Terrorthatflapsinthenight9]

Qhorin Halfhand or any other character being Arthur Dayne.

[Groo]

7 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

Good one. All the ones where X is not really X but Y or Z or whatever. Everyone has a secret identity, everyone is a secret Targaryen, yadda yadda yadda. 

I always divide these into two broad groups. There are the ones that are a stretch but there's at least something in the books that the theorist can point to. Tyrion being a Targaryen is an example. It's a big stretch but there are at least vaguely plausible arguments for it. Then there are the ones made up from whole cloth. Mance Rayder secretly being Rhaegar Targaryen is a good example. Just someone writing their own separate story in the margins of the book.

[Gilbert Green]

1 hour ago, sifth said:

I mean it’s not and it makes no sense. In fact it’s one of the worst I’ve heard.

Fans hate Daario.  Fans hate theories about Daario.  When GRRM says "There is more to Daario than meets the eye", the fan response is "SHUT UP, GEORGE!"

Other than that, the theory is pretty good.

[LongRider]

I like the many theories about who the hooded man is.  It is the most famous walk-on bit part, and he’s…,Benjen, the Blackfish, Darrio, Gendry, and many other obscure or missing men in the story.  He had a couple of lines and with that, he was done. 
 

[Aejohn the Conqueroo]

Varys is Lollys is a favorite of mine

 

Benjen is Darrio

 

The Faceless Men did it

 

The Maesters have their shit together enough to have engineered anything.

 

When I first read the books I was a little surprised with how welcoming Mance was when Jon pretended to go over so when I first came across ‘Mance is Rhaegar’ I thought it made some sense.

 

Of course now I know that it was Bloodraven who told Mance ‘this is the kid I had you rip open all of those crypts and loose the others to start the war for’

 

Edited January 1 by Aejohn the Conqueroo
bizzaro formatting

[Aejohn the Conqueroo]

4 minutes ago, LongRider said:

I like the many theories about who the hooded man is.  It is the most famous walk-on bit part, and he’s…,Benjen, the Blackfish, Darrio, Gendry, and many other obscure or missing men in the story.  He had a couple of lines and with that, he was done. 
 

I like Tyler Durden

[Gilbert Green]

2 hours ago, kissdbyfire said:

She could be, I suppose. But the different descriptions of her hips we get from Cat and then Jaime were a mistake, straight from the horse’s mouth. 
 

UNION SQUARE SIGNING

[Note: This report refers to the question of Jeyne Westerlings hips, described by Catelyn as being "good" for the purposes of having children, and described by Jaime as "narrow". This seeming contradiction has sparked theories that the girl Jaime sees and is told is Jeyne is in fact an impostor.]

I actually asked GRRM about this at the union square signing. When he spoke he said some mismatched descriptions are him doing it on purpose, and some are mistakes. And the mistakes are really unfortunate because it detracts from when he does it on purpose.

When we approached the stage for signings we had the chance to ask a quick question, and he told me that that the hips were a mistake unfortunately.

I am familiar with the story.  It is the old argument that you cannot trust the published text, but you can trust what random anonymous people post on the internet.  Because GRRM is fallible, but random stuff posted on the internet is infallible.

For the record, I do not believe the "hips don't lie" theory.  I don't think there was a switch.  I do suspect there is something going on in these scenes though.

I think Catelyn and Jaime are talking about different things.  Catelyn is talking about whether Jeyne is, despite her youth, developed enough to safely make babies.  Jaime is talking about his personal standard of beauty.  I think the most you can conclude is that young Jeyne does not have hips as broad as Cersei.

And maybe Jaime is the one making the mistake.  Maybe he perceives her hips as narrow because her waist has grown.  Maybe she was once slender, but with an hourglass shape; and maybe she is still slender, but just a bit less slender in the waist - less of an hourglass shape.  In short, maybe she is pregnant.

Meanwhile, no official errata has been issued, and we are stuck with the text we have.

My philosophy about book signings is that they are for signing books, and not for answering fan questions.  Any alleged remarks made at book signings should be interpreted, if at all possible, as meaningless deflections.

[Gilbert Green]

22 minutes ago, Aejohn the Conqueroo said:

Varys is Lollys is a favorite of mine

This is one that seems more ridiculous at first glance than it actually is.  On examination, most of the objections turn out to be based on careless assumptions.  Maybe not all the objections, though.  The theory does have problems.

[Gilbert Green]

7 hours ago, StarkTullies said:

Quentyn is still alive.

This is in a similar category to Daario theories.  People don't care for Frog and want him to go away; which in this context means "stay dead".  He's alive though.  Sorry.

Edited January 1 by Gilbert Green

[Aejohn the Conqueroo]

19 minutes ago, Gilbert Green said:

This is one that seems more ridiculous at first glance than it actually is.  On examination, most of the objections turn out to be based on careless assumptions.  Maybe not all the objections, though.  The theory does have problems.

Yeah, I think we covered it about a month ago. Would need to account for a couple of instances where they're in the same room. Varys seems to have some proximity to Stokeworths regardless,  but it's unlikely he's Lollys.

[sifth]

1 hour ago, LongRider said:

I like the many theories about who the hooded man is.  It is the most famous walk-on bit part, and he’s…,Benjen, the Blackfish, Darrio, Gendry, and many other obscure or missing men in the story.  He had a couple of lines and with that, he was done. 
 

He might also be Theon's Tyler Durden, according to some of the yoyo's around here. Sometimes a hooded man, is just a hooded man.

[sifth]

52 minutes ago, Gilbert Green said:

This is in a similar category to Daario theories.  People don't care for Frog and want him to go away; which in this context means "stay dead".  He's alive though.  Sorry.

Sorry, but he's as alive as Ned Stark and Arys Oakheart.

[sifth]

1 hour ago, Gilbert Green said:

Fans hate Daario.  Fans hate theories about Daario.  When GRRM says "There is more to Daario than meets the eye", the fan response is "SHUT UP, GEORGE!"

Other than that, the theory is pretty good.

I hope, this is a troll post.

[Nathan Stark]

My personal favorite bonkers theory is another one from Order of the Green Hand. They believe that Mance Rayder is Arthur Dayne, Quorin Halfhand is Oswell Whent, and Thormund Giantsbane is Gerald Hightower. Also, Jon and Val are the love children of Ned and Ashara, and the reason Ned split his twins up and dumped his baby mama was because the evil, grasping Tullys made him do it. For reasons. So many reasons.