NFL Playoffs 2023

[Rhom]

28 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

This is hilarious:
 

W	L	T	PCT	HOME	AWAY	DIV	CONF	PF	PA	DIFF	STRK
14	3	0	.824	7-1	7-2	6-0	9-3	496	369	+127	W5
14	3	0	.824	7-2	7-1	4-2	9-3	477	344	+133	W1
13	3	0	.813	7-1	6-2	4-2	9-2	455	286	+169	W7
13	4	0	.765	8-1	5-3	6-0	10-2	450	277	+173	W10
13	4	0	.765	8-1	5-3	4-2	8-4	424	427	-3	W1
12	4	0	.750	6-1	6-3	3-3	8-3	418	322	+96	W8
12	5	0	.706	8-1	4-4	4-2	8-4	467	342	+125	L

Took me a second to figure out what I was looking at.  Really is pretty amazing.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

39 minutes ago, Rhom said:

Took me a second to figure out what I was looking at.  Really is pretty amazing.

Imagine if the Colts beat them by 33. I'll have to look up later how many times shit like this has happened before.

[Rhom]

Kliff Kingsbury's handsome mug has been sent packing.

Is the count at two for Black Monday currently?  Him and Lovie?

[Maithanet]

Washington would have fired Rivera except with Snyder selling the team nobody know WTF is going on.  So he might last until the sale actually happens.  Hell, he might even last till next year in the name of stability, who knows. 

[Rhom]

42 minutes ago, Maithanet said:

Washington would have fired Rivera except with Snyder selling the team nobody know WTF is going on.  So he might last until the sale actually happens.  Hell, he might even last till next year in the name of stability, who knows. 

That kinda surprises me.  I figured having Wash competing for the playoffs almost to the last week would be an accomplishment worth celebrating considering most assumed they’d be in contention for the number one pick in the draft.

[DMC]

Yeah I thought Washington had a pretty good season all things considered.  They definitely were one of the better teams the Niners played.

[Maithanet]

Ron Rivera has been there three years and never had a winning record (7, 7 and 8 wins).  Yes, the team has never been a complete embarrassment, which is something of an accomplishment in Washington, but still...

The team has some talent, only real weaknesses are QB and o line, but those are both pretty important.

[dbunting]

Loved watching the Lions beat A-ron out of the playoffs. His smug ass deserved a beating. "We can't lose to that team"...  F u Rodgers, Lions have beat them three in a row now.  This game almost made me feel better after watching that debacle of a Cowboys game. I think they have just suffered too many injuries on D to cover for it anymore and Dak is trying to throw pick sixes now. Never seen anything like what they did on back to back plays.

Weird weekend of football. The Seattle game had 4 very very questionable calls in it that had a major impact on the game all go the Seahawks way. Then the Packer LB shoving the Detroit trainer? Way to be an idiot. At least he apologized to Detroit and everyone but WTF man have some self control.

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

So Brady set the single season mark for completions. He broke his own record which he set last year.

What the fuck?

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

1 hour ago, Rhom said:

Kliff Kingsbury's handsome mug has been sent packing.

Is the count at two for Black Monday currently?  Him and Lovie?

It's astonishing they resigned him just a year ago. He was a subpar coach at best. The GM stepped aside as well. He should after giving Kyler that horrible contract. 

Do not pay QBs who are middle of the road like they're top five guys because people say you need to pay them. The Cards always should have tried to trade him for several picks.

[Rhom]

Broncos have asked the Niners for permission to speak with Demeco Ryans.  I would assume the Texans would as well.

That would be an interesting question if I'm Ryans.  The Texans have just fired two coaches in a row after one season...  Its where I played ball... Would I want to take the chance?

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

This might be the best prediction in the history of sports:
 

 

[Jace, Extat]

6 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

This might be the best prediction in the history of sports:
 

 

COUGH COUGH

 

Smart boys give the priestess her due. August? Motherfucker I was on this shit in March. 

 

Quote

Chris Ballard is a frog faced fuckboi who makes QB decisions with the astuteness and alacrity of a recently run over child who has only ever witnessed football through a haze of vape smoke while breast feeding from Whitney Houston. 

 

Item 1, 2017. First year as GM. Scott Tolzien starts week one, because Luck was never gonna play. Colts had to trade for Jacoby, who starts remaining 15 games because YOU HAD SCOTT TOLZIEN ON YOUR ROSTER YOU FROG FACED FUCKBOI

Item 1.5, 2018. He drafted a guard at 6. This isn't even a QB criticism. But what a fuckwit. Seriously, was this man born with a pile of shit where his brain should have been? I would have retired too. 

Item 2, 2019. With Jacoby Brissett on the roster. Making next to nothing. The Colts gave him a ten million dollar raise and guaranteed a further 20 MILLION DOLLARS the following year to Jacoby Brissett in the week following Luck's retirement. I've seen more creative ways to set thirty million dollars on fire but it usually involves an aging billionaire, a tiny cock, and a big ass rocket; Chris Ballard gave me Jacoby Brissette, which is somehow even more pathetic and destructive towards the earth.

Item 3, 2020. You could have had Tom Brady. What you did have is a Philip Rivers who literally lost you a playoff game (go watch that last drive. It's fucking pathetic. TY Hilton is laying out on TEN YARD CURLS trying to come back for these ducks because Phil couldn't get the ball outside the numbers. The Colts got the ball back before the two minute warning and BARELY CROSSED MIDFIELD. You could have had Tom Brady, who was paid like 27 million for the year. Jacoby Brissette is paid 20 million dollars to be a fucking cheerleader, and truth be told he makes for a fine mascot. He's a good dude. Good job, Mr. Fuckboi. You have found and retained the most visible and likeable cheerleader in the league. You wouldn't fucking believe how many times a game they would cut to this broad grinned, cheek dimpled, handsome ass motherfucker standing on the sidelines with an earpiece in and lookin' happier than a hound dog with a horse's johnson. And why wouldn't he be? That's a rich, rich, man. Meanwhile, I loved the Phillip Rivers experiment. Because I'm a psycho and I like it when it hurts. The pure novelty of this man. This terror on my dreams, coming to Indy when he was so clearly washed... I loved it. But Chris Ballard, this walking jinx who never saw a gopher hole he wouldn't trip into, actually seemed to think that like he'd done a good thing. And, like, actually tried to bring this tired-armed, loose-around-the-joints, can't-keep-it-up-long-enough-to-throw, Quarterback back when the dude ain't fit to close out a game of slow pitch. The Fuck is wrong with you, man? Is this one of those two fetus' situation where one eats the other? Because I think Chris Ballard's unborn twin managed to eat his brain shortly before being devoured itself in an act of brainless revenge. It's not a medical theory, but I think it helps explain some of these decisions...

Item 4, 2021. You balked at Matt Stafford. Something people have kind of forgotten is that the Rams had to essentially pay an extra 1st round pick to get rid of Jared Goff. It's more complicated than that, the picks the Rams were sending were both in years to come, which dilutes their value, but the point is that Stafford probably could have been gotten for a 1 and some significant change. Instead you paid a 1 and significant change for Carson Wentz. I can't think of a meaner thing to say.

Item 5, 2022. After all this, this era of salt and ash that can be looked back on only as the results of a madman's ministrations against the goodly order and harmoniousness of a happy universe, you traded for Matt Ryan? Why? 

He won't run the offense from under center, he will want it out of shotgun like Rivers did. Going under center now will be a run giveaway. His arm wasn't washed last year, but it could literally go tomorrow, he's at that age and it has been declining for several years. You're gonna be stuck in spread shotgun again. YOU HAVE NO RECEIVERS. You built your team to condense and run downhill. Now you have to run everything out of shotgun, with a mud footed QB, and you also have no LT. 

So now the way your QB plays is directly in opposition to how your offense is geared to play. Good job. And today they just adjusted his contract to give him guaranteed money next year... For no reason. His salaries the next two years weren't guaranteed, which at least protects you if he gets hurt or his arm falls off. So taking away that protection for yourself seems like something Ballard probably couldn't resist. No doubt he saw his financial freedom as a form of sin, a contraceptive against which his fury knew no bounds and with which he could not bear. The mind of a madman is mad.

In no particular order:

1)Mahomes

2)Watson

3)Wilson

4)Allen

5)Jackson

6)Burrow

7)Herbert

8)Carr

9) Tannehill

10) Ryan

 

Just an idle catalogue:

1) Missouri Chiefs 

2) Bills

3) Chargers

4) Browns/(Watson, whose suspension will be moderate)

5) Broncos

6) Titans

7) Ravens

8) Bengals

9) Raiders

10) Colts 

You can quibble about where a particular team lines up or where a QB might fall on my little lists, but I don't think anyone's gonna try to tell me the Colts have better than the tenth best QB and tenth best team in the division. That's only three spots out from a playoff berth and another visit to Buffalo!

Mediocrity sells. 

 

 

I'mma keep fucking bringing it up too until Ballard is gone (like not AT you, Ty, you're just the excuse I needed today. Tomorrow it might be Rhom, or even Maith. Live in fear. )

[Jace, Extat]

Yo I even pointed out how stupid it was to give him those guarantees 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

 

[Rhom]

1 hour ago, BBB Jacelyn said:

Tomorrow it might be Rhom, or even Maith.

I’m quivering in fear… but maybe even a little… excitement? 

 

[James Arryn]

When your history of injuries is so extreme that 4 different network round tables say that you have to hedge your bets on the Niners because there’s a very good chance they lose more stars with each playoff round…

 

edit: as just one of many indicators, Niners have been in the top 10 games lost in each of the past 12 or 13 seasons. During that time the team with the second most has done it like 7 times. It’s a different animal, with different explanations for each, but the problem with any of them is they cover several different coaching staffs, medical crews, and even home stadiums. It’s just weird. The ‘best’ explanation, imo, is that the two headline coaches (Harbaugh and Shannahan) preach uniquely old-school physical brands of football on both sides of the ball. Okay, but Tomlin doesn’t? Harbaugh’s brother doesn’t?

 

edit2: an illustration, the record of teams the week after they play the 9ers this season is 0-15. 

[Rhom]

 

 

[dbunting]

Well Dallas has three starters returning for the playoffs, center, LB and NT(run stopper).  Vander Esche and Hankins coming back should shore up the run defense. Unfortunately neither of them is a corner and that's where we really need the help. Biadisz coming back at center really helps since we had 4 people playing out of position the last 2 games and it showed. The only OL playing his normal spot was our pro-bowl RG, everyone else was shuffled.

I'm going to try to be positive and say Dallas beats TB but with our biggest weakness being corners and TB having that Brady fella at QB and really good WR's to throw to it's tough to be positive. Hopefully our QB stops playing catch with the opposing teams players and we remember to run the ball on offense. If we do that Dallas wins, if not, it's another one and done.  If so, bring on Sean Payton and bye bye Kellen Moore and McCarthy.

[Slurktan]

30 minutes ago, dbunting said:

Well Dallas has three starters returning for the playoffs, center, LB and NT(run stopper).  Vander Esche and Hankins coming back should shore up the run defense. Unfortunately neither of them is a corner and that's where we really need the help. Biadisz coming back at center really helps since we had 4 people playing out of position the last 2 games and it showed. The only OL playing his normal spot was our pro-bowl RG, everyone else was shuffled.

I'm going to try to be positive and say Dallas beats TB but with our biggest weakness being corners and TB having that Brady fella at QB and really good WR's to throw to it's tough to be positive. Hopefully our QB stops playing catch with the opposing teams players and we remember to run the ball on offense. If we do that Dallas wins, if not, it's another one and done.  If so, bring on Sean Payton and bye bye Kellen Moore and McCarthy.

Do you think Dak will  make a throw that should be a pick six but the DB drops it, and then runs the exact play immediately thereafter with the exact same throw to give the DB a second chance for a second time in two weeks?  God he's awful.