If I Had a Billion Dollars...

[IheartIheartTesla]

First thing I'd do is hire an accountant so I can finally start paying lower taxes.

After setting up my family for life, I'd probably try to set up some sort of institute or foundation that tackles (or provides seed money) for both the pressing problems of the time such as climate change, as well as fundamental scientific questions as well that have no relevance to any sort of application. I'd be member for life of course, as well as a humble contriubuter. 

[Mr. Chatywin et al.]

1 hour ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

So on the neck, right?

How much would I have to pay you to get a bad neck tattoo? 

If Pony Boi is offering eight figures I'd have to take it.

1 hour ago, IheartIheartTesla said:

First thing I'd do is hire an accountant so I can finally start paying lower taxes.

You became a Republican fast once you got money. 

[Clueless Northman]

1 billion is really a lot, that would require way further thinking on my part, since I would obviously be able to fund some serious stuff.

Still, basic first moves would be easy, because I've planned for more than a decade a possible 100-200 mio win in lottery / euromillion thingie. I really dislike it when people win a huge sum and then are like "Oh I've no idea what to do with this, I only went in to get 100K and to buy a new car / shiny toy" - well, then, idiot, why did you pick the 100-mio lottery instead of a 100-K one, which you'd have far higher odds of winning to begin with, and let people who actually have a plan get a chance at winning?

Bottom-line, once I've figured out what kind of taxes I'd get and if and how much people I'd donate money would be taxed as well, then I'll make a lot of calls because there'd be plunder to share and plenty of bank accounts to deliver money to. So I'd give several millions (basically, enough to make a living without having to work ever again) to my mom, to my girlfriend (assuming I've got one at the time I'd win), to my few exes and longtime crushes of years past, and also to a very good buddy who tries his luck every week (if only because I've no doubt he'd actually give me a couple millions if he'd ever win the big prize). A slightly lower tier to good friends and family (similar amounts, specially with family members, to avoid bickering between them), lower tiers to friends and near-friends here and there (including a few in online communities). Since I would stop working forever in the next 5 months, and since I'm in a quite small business that would just be over if I stop working (and since many current and former co-workers are buddies if not friends), I'd basically give 10-years wage to current co-workers, a good amount to former longtime co-workers, and would basically buy back the firm by giving twice the max share value to current shareholders (since me leaving would basically dump the whole thing). The plan is to give a lot at once and be clear I won't be there to give them a few thousands every time they want some new stuff - they'll already have received way more than that upfront.

I'd buy a nice and reasonably big condo - enough for me to store a huge amount of books, have a dedicated PC, and specially PC-gaming, room, a home-theatre room and a couple of guest rooms. I'd have at long last to bother finding and paying quite well a housekeeper. I'd set up a safe inside my flat, with a couple of millions in cash, in case of special needs. I'd also get a safe in the bank with joint access with my mom and probably my best friend, once again with a couple mio in cash, in case of emergency requiring external help and money (for instance, planning for the low probability I'd actually get kidnapped and ransomed).

Then at long last I would be able to spend time at home, reading, playing, listening and watching stuff, seeing friends and family, more or less 8 months a year, and spending at least 4 months travelling the world across dozens of countries and seeing all the places I'd like to visit - at times going with friends or family if they have time for it and the destination is of interest to them. Of course, not 4-months long yearly travel, rather 2 to 6 weeks travels with 5-10 weeks resting time at home between them - if only because I'd also need time to sort out my travel pics. Odds are that I would end up having some guy working part-time to help plan some detailed travels - at least for the most exotic locations, for instance Laos, Malawi or Paraguay, because if it's just spending a week in Naples or Istanbul I can definitely plan this on my own.

Of course, that's the current plan for a 100-200 mio win, with me keeping something like 20-30 mio after taxes and plenty of donations. In case of a 1 bio win, I'd have way way more money on my hands, so I'd probably upgrade all the personal donations to friends and family and might consider a 2nd home somewhere. I'm not sure I'd actually buy a car with a 100 mio win, but with a 1 bio I'd get a good and expensive one for the occasional needs. I would also have to think seriously about charities, giving to some orgs, supporting some associations or NGOs, or research, and the like. But since winning 1 bio is genuine sci-fi, I will only think about it once I actually have won 1 billion, and not before I get it 

[James Arryn]

I would honestly give most of it away. Not quite as much as before I had kids, but at the same retime the reasons for giving most of it away are amplified by having children.

[A Horse Named Stranger]

4 hours ago, Mlle. Zabzie said:

So on the neck, right?

 

If I had a billion? Honestly hard to conceptualize a number that big.  I’d probably hire my law firm to set me up with (1) my own family office and (2) a charitable foundation that would probably be education focused (I’d fund a lot of pre-K and community college).  I would pay off my mortgage.  I might buy property in Italy.  

Was thinking left forearm, so he can read those wise words every time he takes a look at his watch.

But I think I am starting to get the hang of it wrt ideas.

5 year membership at Trump's Scottish Golfclub for mormont.

Charitable donation to LFC's academy in PG's name, so he would get a commemorative plague at Anfield with his name on it (there has to be something like that).

A small Liz Truss mural at the trainstation BFC uses his for daily commute to work.

I think I've continue to brainstorm ideas, this thread might become a case for PETA before too long.

[DireWolfSpirit]

I would hire a manager to taunt endless charities into thinking they were going to recieve fat donations......only to deny their applications. Im sure I could milk that for at least a year or two of dark humor until my next big idea materializes.

DENIED!

[Gaston de Foix]

On 2/22/2023 at 4:41 AM, RhaenysBee said:

My first thought was cancer research, but I would probably take 0.1% for me and my family to set us all up for life,

0.1% of a billion is 1 million.  You will need more.  Maybe 1%?

If I had a billion dollars, I would be able to buy a home in Northern Virginia.  Maybe even afford a pool.  Which would be nice.  

[Gaston de Foix]

6 hours ago, A Horse Named Stranger said:

Was thinking left forearm, so he can read those wise words every time he takes a look at his watch.

But I think I am starting to get the hang of it wrt ideas.

5 year membership at Trump's Scottish Golfclub for mormont.

Charitable donation to LFC's academy in PG's name, so he would get a commemorative plague at Anfield with his name on it (there has to be something like that).

A small Liz Truss mural at the trainstation BFC uses his for daily commute to work.

I think I've continue to brainstorm ideas, this thread might become a case for PETA before too long.

I would buy you a farm.  Fill it with Arabian mares (or stallions, as you prefer).  

[Jace, Extat]

3 hours ago, DireWolfSpirit said:

I would hire a manager to taunt endless charities into thinking they were going to recieve fat donations......only to deny their applications. Im sure I could milk that for at least a year or two of dark humor until my next big idea materializes.

DENIED!

But only the bad charities right?  

[Cas Stark]

Buy a huge colonial in New England with several acres and a beach house somewhere else.  Buy mom a new house if she wants it.  Start flying first class.  Travel more.   Start an animal welfare charity.  Maybe get a crazy vintage car like a Shelby Cobra or vintage jag.  Set up some trusts for my cousins.

[RhaenysBee]

4 hours ago, Gaston de Foix said:

0.1% of a billion is 1 million.  You will need more.  Maybe 1%?

If I had a billion dollars, I would be able to buy a home in Northern Virginia.  Maybe even afford a pool.  Which would be nice.  

I believe you. I will take 1% for me and family. and I’ll buy an abandoned country manor and renovate it.

Ugh, I could do a foundation that buys abandoned country manors and renovate them and turn them into historical bed and breakfasts! It would check out the historical site conservation goal. It wouldn’t be my favorite historical era, but there are soooooo many of these left to decay after they were confiscated/abandoned and you could have a little museum and merch section in the “lobby” part of the little hotel. What a way to boost local tourism. History, nature, brunch, tote bags and badges. And albums! There’d be educational but aesthetically beautiful coffee table albums about the history of each manor and the noble family that occupied them, gruesome or sad facts about their demise but also all the tea about their lives. Damn, all my nerdy dreams would come true. 

[A Horse Named Stranger]

4 hours ago, RhaenysBee said:

I believe you. I will take 1% for me and family. and I’ll buy an abandoned country manor and renovate it.

Ugh, I could do a foundation that buys abandoned country manors and renovate them and turn them into historical bed and breakfasts! It would check out the historical site conservation goal. It wouldn’t be my favorite historical era, but there are soooooo many of these left to decay after they were confiscated/abandoned and you could have a little museum and merch section in the “lobby” part of the little hotel. What a way to boost local tourism. History, nature, brunch, tote bags and badges. And albums! There’d be educational but aesthetically beautiful coffee table albums about the history of each manor and the noble family that occupied them, gruesome or sad facts about their demise but also all the tea about their lives. Damn, all my nerdy dreams would come true. 

1% = 10m.

I don't think this would get you that far in the abandoned country manor renovation business. I might be wrong, tho. 

[DireWolfSpirit]

9 hours ago, Secretary of Eumenes said:

But only the bad charities right?  

I can only share the mission on a self destructing tape.

 

Eta: Needless to say many, many, churches would be included on the rug pulling, denial list. 

There would likely be a yacht named "Dream Crusher" featured as well.

[Jace, Extat]

1 hour ago, DireWolfSpirit said:

I can only share the mission on a self destructing tape.

 

Eta: Needless to say many, many, churches would be included on the rug pulling, denial list. 

There would likely be yacht named "Dream Crusher" featured as well.

Dope. 

Meanwhile, "Dream Crusher" that's interesting. 

I don't ever really foresee myself owning a boat. But if I owned the heart of a man who owned a boat I could see myself negging him into naming it "Sonar" 

Might even let him add a name of his own, after my name of course, if I really thought he was worth it. "Sonar... something..." It has a certain romantic sound to it 

I'm an American. We fucking love fusion 

[DireWolfSpirit]

36 minutes ago, Secretary of Eumenes said:

Dope. 

Meanwhile, "Dream Crusher" that's interesting. 

I don't ever really foresee myself owning a boat. But if I owned the heart of a man who owned a boat I could see myself negging him into naming it "Sonar" 

Might even let him add a name of his own, after my name of course, if I really thought he was worth it. "Sonar... something..." It has a certain romantic sound to it 

I'm an American. We fucking love fusion 

Perhaps a nice fusion title like "Sonar Splendeur", which the interwebs is telling me means "Sonar Splendid" in the raised pinky-lish tongue?

 

[Jace, Extat]

On 2/24/2023 at 8:16 PM, DireWolfSpirit said:

Perhaps a nice fusion title like "Sonar Splendeur", which the interwebs is telling me means "Sonar Splendid" in the raised pinky-lish tongue?

 

"

[Jace, Extat]

Jus

[Jace, Extat]

 

[drawkcabi]

I won't lie, I'd indulge myself, big time! Though part of that indulging for my own self would be rescuing as many dogs as I can and having a home and people around that could help to keep them all living spoiled and pampered lives too.

Also, when spending money on myself, I'd have to do it on a "one for me, one for you" basis, meaning for every dollar I spent on myself, I'd have to give the same amount to a charity or individual in need. It's the only way I could actually live with myself spending money the way I did.

[DMC]

.......I'd be rich.