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A Song of Arrested Development


Ser Arthurs Dawn

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I think it's imperative that we insert Arrested Development quotes into ASoIaF, because a lot of them fit *too well*.

  • Joffrey: "Did you enjoy your meal, mom? You drank it fast enough."
  • Otto: "There's a good chance I may have committed some light treason."
  • Everyone during the Dance of Dragons: "I'm trying to decide which gang to align myself with."
  • Stannis: "I just want my brother to envy my money, but he's got that hair. Why can't I have hair and money, and him nothing?"
  • Tywin @ Tyrion: "You were just a turd out there, ya know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You're just a-a turd."
  • Jon Arryn: "Maybe it was the 11 months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus, but he was our miracle baby. I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care so…he turned out a little soft, you know? A little doughy. I don’t know, maybe it was my fault, maybe I ignored the guy."
  • Catelyn about Edmure: "He thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of his."
  • Cersei: "I'd have to get up pretty early in the morning to get drunk by 1 o'clock."
  • Myrcella: "I think that's another of mom's fibs. Like, 'I'll sacrifice anything for my children'."
  • Alayne: "I deceived you, dad. 'Tricked' makes it sound like we have a playful relationship."
  • Ned: "I'm one of the few honest people I have ever known."
  • Jon: "You lied to me. You said my FATHER was my father, but my AUNT is my mother! MY MOTHER IS MY AUNT."
  • Daenerys: "You must teach me, Daario. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh."
  • Tyrion: "Illusion, Jaime. A trick is something a whore does for money."
  • Robert: "Just because a woman gets pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry her. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo said she used an IUD."
  • Cersei: "I want to cry so bad, but I don't think I can spare the moisture."
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Cersei: "I mean, it’s one banana, Tommen. What could it cost, three golden dragons?"

Janos: "I’d rather be dead in King's Landing than alive at the Wall."

Margaery to Cersei: "Oh, Mother. After all these years, the Father Above's not going to take a call from you."

Rhaegar: "I’ve made a huge tiny mistake."

Rodrik: "I’m a scholar. I enjoy scholarly pursuits."

Selyse to Jon: "We’re all just going to have a more normal arrangement. I’m going to sleep with my daughter, and you’re going to sleep with my husband."

Sweetrobin: "Mom always told me to curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted."

Victarion: "I hear the jury’s still out on science."

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12 minutes ago, Many-Faced Votary said:

Selyse to Jon: "We’re all just going to have a more normal arrangement. I’m going to sleep with my daughter, and you’re going to sleep with my husband."

This one is my favorite I think :rofl:

Also kudos on the "jury is still out on science" because I could not figure out how to make it fit anywhere!!

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An arrested thread! Tbh, I loved s5

Tyrion to Tywin: Guess what dad?

Dunk to Egg: That's what son.

to Jaime: Look. Here's my advice. Okay? You go to Cersei's, you take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, and sex knobs with you. And you act like you're expecting a booty call, as the old people think the young people say. All right? You tell her, "I'm just here for a quickie, and I'm out of here." Mr. Brash. And she'll drop you like a buttered cane.

 

 

1. When you play a game of thrones you win or die, there is no middle ground.

2. Don't tell Michael

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Season 5 was good! It wasn't a masterpiece like the original three seasons of the show, but it was a hilarious ride with endless earned jokes. Season 4 was a disappointment for the show, but it was still enjoyable, and had a number of gems such as the "To Catch a Predator" sequence.

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11 minutes ago, Many-Faced Votary said:

Season 5 was good! It wasn't a masterpiece like the original three seasons of the show, but it was a hilarious ride with endless earned jokes. Season 4 was a disappointment for the show, but it was still enjoyable, and had a number of gems such as the "To Catch a Predator" sequence.

A Senor?

S4 was good too I think, like s3 level. I kinda think 5 stack up against 1 and 2. It sucks Lindsay's not in it but grown Maybe and George Michael are just too funny

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8 hours ago, Many-Faced Votary said:

Season 5 was good! It wasn't a masterpiece like the original three seasons of the show, but it was a hilarious ride with endless earned jokes. Season 4 was a disappointment for the show, but it was still enjoyable, and had a number of gems such as the "To Catch a Predator" sequence.

Really?? I started season 4 and just couldn't watch anymore, but maybe I'll force myself through it so I can get to season 5.

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8 hours ago, Hugorfonics said:

An arrested thread! Tbh, I loved s5

Tyrion to Tywin: Guess what dad?

Dunk to Egg: That's what son.

to Jaime: Look. Here's my advice. Okay? You go to Cersei's, you take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, and sex knobs with you. And you act like you're expecting a booty call, as the old people think the young people say. All right? You tell her, "I'm just here for a quickie, and I'm out of here." Mr. Brash. And she'll drop you like a buttered cane.

 

 

1. When you play a game of thrones you win or die, there is no middle ground.

2. Don't tell Michael

Here's some more I forgot about..

Cersei: Everything they do is so flamboyant, it just makes me want to set myself on fire!

 

Maester Pylos: As you know, it is very difficult to establish fault in a divorce, but one indicator is fidelity. Now, my client has not pursued sex outside of this marriage.

Stannis: Nor in it.

Maester Pylos: I got this one.

 

Emmon Frey: I just need to prove to my wife that I can act like a man. And it's not about sex. I don't just lie there, if that's what you're thinking.

Jaime: That's not what I was thinking.

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43 minutes ago, Ser Arthurs Dawn said:

Really?? I started season 4 and just couldn't watch anymore, but maybe I'll force myself through it so I can get to season 5.

S4 is weird. Because one of the the beauties of Arrested is the family interactions, these characters are funnier when next to each other. But in S4 we see them split which was definitely a weird idea. Been years since I saw S4 but if my memory is right then George Maharis and Fakeblock is hysterical, Gob joins that entourage "get away get away" (10 years later and I find myself singing that song under my breath). Also I found Debris to be mad funny too. Overall I think S4 was probably the weakest but it definitely has some gems. 

(Oh the maki! And it's got like Roger Sterling in it, it's definitely worth the watch imo)

Season 5 is also gold, although the home videos of the before times with Seth Rogan weren't that funny imo. 

Damn that sucks, so you don't get my references? Well take a good look! Because this is the last time your gonna see them 

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9 minutes ago, Hugorfonics said:

S4 is weird. Because one of the the beauties of Arrested is the family interactions, these characters are funnier when next to each other. But in S4 we see them split which was definitely a weird idea. Been years since I saw S4 but if my memory is right then George Maharis and Fakeblock is hysterical, Gob joins that entourage "get away get away" (10 years later and I find myself singing that song under my breath). Also I found Debris to be mad funny too. Overall I think S4 was probably the weakest but it definitely has some gems. 

(Oh the maki! And it's got like Roger Sterling in it, it's definitely worth the watch imo)

Season 5 is also gold, although the home videos of the before times with Seth Rogan weren't that funny imo. 

Damn that sucks, so you don't get my references? Well take a good look! Because this is the last time your gonna see them 

Hehe ok I'll give it a whirl. Right now I'm on a It's Always Sunny kick, so it might be a while.

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11 minutes ago, Ser Arthurs Dawn said:

Hehe ok I'll give it a whirl. Right now I'm on a It's Always Sunny kick, so it might be a while.

There's not many shows as quotable as Arrested. Maybe Seinfeld, Curb, The Simpsons, Nathan for you and definitely Always Sunny

Illyrio "Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?"

Bowen "I know how to count, dude"

Ygritte "Because of the implication..."

Quote

 

 

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Margaery Tyrell: "Marry me!"

--

Narrator: "Stannis was a never nude, which is exactly what it sounds like."

--

Tywin: "Don't get involved. Believe me. When I thought your first wife was pulling us apart, I did not make a stink."

Tyrion: "You complained all the time and she was my only wife and she died."

Tywin: "Well see? Things have a way of working themselves out."

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13 hours ago, Ser Arthurs Dawn said:

Really?? I started season 4 and just couldn't watch anymore, but maybe I'll force myself through it so I can get to season 5.

I definitely recommend the Fateful Consequences remix for Season 4 if you didn't try that previously. It makes everything chronological and emphasizes the strength of the ensemble cast (to the extent possible given how the season was shot).

Even if you don't enjoy it in the end, I do think it's worth watching to have the groundwork for Season 5. And you'll probably come across some gems that you'll love either way. :P

 

11 hours ago, Hugorfonics said:

There's not many shows as quotable as Arrested. Maybe Seinfeld, Curb, The Simpsons, Nathan for you and definitely Always Sunny

I have yet to watch Nathan For You, but certainly will if you recommend it!

Add Frasier to the list here and you will have also delineated the best sitcoms ever. :D

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10 hours ago, Many-Faced Votary said:

I have yet to watch Nathan For You, but certainly will if you recommend it!

Add Frasier to the list here and you will have also delineated the best sitcoms ever. :D

Yea I love Fraiser! (It's cool they're bringing it back but Niles isn't going to be, and I always thought he was the funniest...)

I'm also a huge Reno 911 fan, I guess it's not a sitcom though 

Nathan For You definitely isn't a sitcom, but it is the funniest TV show I've ever seen and downright brilliant in other aspects and I couldn't recommend it further 

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13 hours ago, Hugorfonics said:

Yea I love Fraiser! (It's cool they're bringing it back but Niles isn't going to be, and I always thought he was the funniest...)

I'm also a huge Reno 911 fan, I guess it's not a sitcom though 

Nathan For You definitely isn't a sitcom, but it is the funniest TV show I've ever seen and downright brilliant in other aspects and I couldn't recommend it further 

I'm not very excited about the Frasier reboot for a number of reasons, but I'm sure it will at least be funny, so there's that to look forward to. :) And Niles is indeed hilarious, as is Reno 911!!

I'll definitely check the show out, then. Thanks! ^_^

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