Jump to content

Dating Thread: Hope Springs Eternal


Recommended Posts

12 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said:

Yes, we actually really do, lol!!!!

FINE. Grab a cuppa.

A few months back the zero waste shop a friend owns was having like a cafe rebranding/ exhibition kind of thing so I went along because I'm a 10/10 friend.

This is where I met the vaccine skeptic - the background to this is that I had stopped dating for a a bit because I...kinda didn't want to date off apps which seems like a common way of dating for people my age - she was a friend of my friend, and we struck up a conversation about Dune and why London is not a great night city. After dating on apps for a few months, getting asked out in person was nice so I said yes.

I'm not someone that is good at texting *at all* so we didn't really talk much till I saw her again where after finding out what kind of work I did she proceeded to tell me that she was grateful her parents hadn't vaccinated her for years because she thought the 'natural course of illness & complementary medicine ( and turmeric)' had worked for her for the last 30 years.

I thought that was the worst of it, but she then got to COVID and went off about how you couldn't trust the hospitals and other nonsense.

I stayed for the *minimum* amount of time after the above conversation and then gave out to my friend for not warning me.

Reader, this is why you don't base your decisions on nice eyes & shared love for papa denis.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Raja said:

Also, it is one hundred percent always turmeric with these people. And I speak for all Indians everywhere ( we probably eat this spice with every meal); it does jack shit.

What are you talking about?  That's why India is famous as the land without disease. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

30 minutes ago, Raja said:

Also, it is one hundred percent always turmeric with these people. And I speak for all Indians everywhere ( we probably eat this spice with every meal); it does jack shit.

To be fair, curcumin is legitimately studied for various therapeutic stuff (primarily anti-cancer efficacy from memory). But of course, that's highly targeted towards a specific kind of disease from one component of it. For the rest, yeah its probably the 'essential oil' of Indian spices.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Raja said:

Me just reading this thread on a day off and catching strays from Tears of Lys :crying:

Hey, that's just me.  There's PLENTY of people who would just love having a doctor as a spouse!  

 

But bear in mind, I swore I'd never marry anyone in sales and look how that turned out.  :dunno: 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
14 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said:

I recently was contacted on my one social media account by a local matchmaker asking me if I am single…I figure she’s looking to get some guy in my age range a date. She and I are going to talk today.

I'd say take a week or three.  When I broke up with my girlfriend last year, not actually expecting to, I realized over the next week or two that my instinct pretty much aligned with where we actually were.   

I found it helpful to take some time for resetting myself to my own expectations.  (coming up with half a GRRM quote about fashioned for love here)  Summary suggestion is let it go, and give at least some time for something to happen more organically.  

There's probably always a tension between standards and wish list, but as long as you trust your own instincts, I'd tell the matchmaker to give you a bit, while you do your own thing.  Unless you're ready for @Tywin et al.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, Madame deVenoge said:

 

I recently was contacted on my one social media account by a local matchmaker asking me if I am single…I figure she’s looking to get some guy in my age range a date. She and I are going to talk today.

Tell her no more doctors or lawyers or other narcissistic professions.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/11/2023 at 2:07 PM, Madame deVenoge said:

I signed up with the matchmaker to establish a baseline profile, for when I am ready, but I told her that I do need some time. She said that I am VERY "marketable". 

Last night was REALLY rough. 2-3 am is not a fun time. I had to take some sleep medication. I think I will be "ready" to get back out there again when I have less of that going on. I will eventually "get out there" on Match, as I don't expect a lot to happen organically, in my life, because I work too d@mn much. But, to your point, not now. To be candid - maybe next week? I am not a very patient person. 

I just have to repeat to self: this was him, this was not me. (Were there things I could have done? Probably. No one is perfect, and having done the best I could, I am happy with that, and I was true to myself). There's nothing wrong with me, I am a good person (I know, I am repeating that, it helps). My son is a most perceptive individual, and he said that The Doctor was the most self-centered person that I have ever dated. I deserve better.

Thank you, all, for listening to me vent in what is kind of circular motion. Uuuurg. As soul-crushing as this experience is, I know that I am a strong person (repeats that to self: I am a strong person).

To that end - I deleted his phone number. Oh, that hurt to do. But, there's no point to having it. He's either deleted my number, blocked it, or wouldn't care if I did text or call, so no use keeping it around.

 

ETA - I went back and read this thread from Page 1. it is now so freaking *obvious* that things weren't great for a while. I really wanted things to work out, though. And it's clear that I was shoving all of this under the rug every chance I could make an excuse for him. Looking back, he quit talking about marriage around March 2023 when I lost that substantial chunk of my income and had all the stress around it. That is exactly what he did with his ex-fiancée, back in 2008, except, uh, she had a ring on her finger, and she went from making $600k/year to $0, foreclosure, bankruptcy, and was never in a position to make anywhere near that money ever again (she apparently essentially sold annuities).

 

Good lord!  If THAT'S what he's looking for, you really dodged a bullet.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/11/2023 at 8:07 PM, Madame deVenoge said:

My son is a most perceptive individual, and he said that The Doctor was the most self-centered person that I have ever dated.

[...]

I went back and read this thread from Page 1. it is now so freaking *obvious* that things weren't great for a while.

 

Yeah, it was pretty obvious for quite a while. And if money really was the reason, or even part of the reason, then the hell with him, you'll be so much better off without him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the lesson for all of us is to be more forthright in our amplifying red flags (blatant ones that is) that we observe in other's dating lives. 

Money does tend to be the cause of tension in a lot of relationships, but usually if you are co-habiting together. If someone loses a large chunk of their income, your first instinct should be empathy. Anything else would set off alarm bells for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...