Dating Thread: Hope Springs Eternal

[DMC]

3 hours ago, Fragile Bird said:

Then you will have actually met us and will know us, more than just as folks on the internet.

I prefer to think of all of you as different aspects of my personality, like an internet version of the film Identity.

[Tywin et al.]

1 hour ago, BigFatCoward said:

Shes growing on me. 

Sounds like she nearly had another bar fight. You'd love her. 

1 hour ago, Cas Stark said:

If your perception here is accurate, that the convo is 70/30 and she is complaining you 'don't let her talk' then you're already being gaslighted before there is even a relationship.  Run. 

I explained in more detail how my step-dad is dying quickly not that long after my dad died. She showed zero interest while wanting to talk about her mom and her fighting more. 

I'm out. Sigh.

 

Edited May 21 by Tywin et al.

[Derfel Cadarn]

27 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Sounds like she nearly had another bar fight. You'd love her. 

I explained in more detail how my step-dad is dying quickly not that long after my dad died. She showed zero interest while wanting to talk about her mom and her fighting more. 

I'm out. Sigh.

 

Major red flags, especially since you’ve not met and you’re still in the ‘hold in your farts’ stage of making a good impression. Imagine how mental she would be six months down the line

[Toth]

Sounds somewhat like she has some major insecurities going on...

[Madame deVenoge]

1 hour ago, Tywin et al. said:

…I explained in more detail how my step-dad is dying quickly not that long after my dad died. She showed zero interest while wanting to talk about her mom and her fighting more. 

I'm out. Sigh.

 

Thank goodness you found this out now, and not, say, six months from now.

That said, I’m sorry.

[Tywin et al.]

29 minutes ago, Madame deVenoge said:

Thank goodness you found this out now, and not, say, six months from now.

That said, I’m sorry.

Life is an adventure to say the least. 

[Phylum of Alexandria]

5 hours ago, Fragile Bird said:

See, Ty, the answer to that is to go to Worldcon next year in Glasgow and meet up with the BwB

Is this better than Ice and Fire Con? I haven't been to either, so I wouldn't know. In fact, I haven't been to any conference that wasn't work related, so I know about as much as Jon Snow about the best options!

[The Social Liability]

I used to go to Chipotle alone to try to meet a guy. BUT, the conclusion is because the fucking food there is reallllly hard on my stomach I cannot go there anymore. It's hurt me many times to the point of cramps. I will have to meet someone a little bit more intelligently. 

[Larry of the Lawn]

1 hour ago, Jikm said:

I used to go to Chipotle alone to try to meet a guy. BUT, the conclusion is because the fucking food there is reallllly hard on my stomach I cannot go there anymore. It's hurt me many times to the point of cramps. I will have to meet someone a little bit more intelligently. 

Can always eat ahead of time and then just get some chips and a drink and work your magic at Chipotle of you like the scene but not the gastronomical situation.

[3CityApache]

4 hours ago, Tywin et al. said:

I'm out. Sigh.

Shame it didn't work out, but from what you said it wouldn't in a million years.

[Madame deVenoge]

I must say that the Doctor knows of all y’all, though I described this as an “online book club”. Though he got the idea pretty quickly and figured out that it was an “online message board like in the 90’s”.

Most likely because I’ve been on an iteration of The Board since the mid/late 90’s, and he could figure that out from the timing.

 

 

[DMC]

4 minutes ago, Madame deVenoge said:

I must say that the Doctor knows of all y’all, though I described this as an “online book club”. Though he got the idea pretty quickly and figured out that it was an “online message board like in the 90’s”.

Well, considering my mother has been in actual "book clubs" most of my life - and subsequently my understanding of what actually goes on in book clubs - I'd say "online book club" is a pretty accurate description.

[Tywin et al.]

57 minutes ago, 3CityApache said:

Shame it didn't work out, but from what you said it wouldn't in a million years.

Live and learn, right? 

23 minutes ago, Madame deVenoge said:

I must say that the Doctor knows of all y’all, though I described this as an “online book club”. Though he got the idea pretty quickly and figured out that it was an “online message board like in the 90’s”.

I described it like pen pals (had one from France in HS). Mostly one where I found sane people around the world to talk about politics and sports with to try to learn. Still a head scratcher to me how someone couldn't see why you could become friends with people here, even if you've never met them in person. To each their own I guess, but some of you have been more honest and real with me than people I've know for ages. 

[Gaston de Foix]

On 5/20/2023 at 4:47 PM, Toth said:

Btw, I also deleted the dating apps yesterday again. I thought I had better pictures this time around, but getting three likes in almost two months in total and all of them immediately unmatching is just... well, I guess I dodged putting even more pressure on myself forcing myself to be sociable, so there is that.

I'm sorry to hear that, mate.  There's a lot wrong with the way dating works currently, and stuff like this is the worst part.  Being sociable is hard work for me too, you aren't alone in that. 

[Gaston de Foix]

50 minutes ago, Madame deVenoge said:

I must say that the Doctor knows of all y’all, though I described this as an “online book club”. Though he got the idea pretty quickly and figured out that it was an “online message board like in the 90’s”.

Most likely because I’ve been on an iteration of The Board since the mid/late 90’s, and he could figure that out from the timing.

 

 

To be fair, this is an "online book club"; we just haven't had a new book to discuss in 12 years.  

[Madame deVenoge]

22 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

Live and learn, right? 

I described it like pen pals (had one from France in HS). Mostly one where I found sane people around the world to talk about politics and sports with to try to learn. Still a head scratcher to me how someone couldn't see why you could become friends with people here, even if you've never met them in person. To each their own I guess, but some of you have been more honest and real with me than people I've know for ages. 

It’s because of two things, IMO -

1. A highly specific shared interest. It was not all that long ago that our specific shared interest (FANTASY FICTION!!!) had to be hidden or disguised. “I read everything!” etc, or just not admitting it. This was especially true when The books were first published, right up until the HBO series, tbh.

2. The relative anonymity - many of us know EXACTLY who we are, some of us have a vague idea or no idea, but this isn’t LinkedIn, where I have my real name and colleagues all connected to me with my professional picture nicely airbrushed and I will rarely say anything other than “congratulations!” Or the most anodyne things on the most anodyne topics (“great article!” on a link to “why offices are often too cold and what can be done about it”).

Edited May 21 by Madame deVenoge

[Madame deVenoge]

3 minutes ago, Gaston de Foix said:

To be fair, this is an "online book club"; we just haven't had a new book to discuss in 12 years.  

Check out the Lit forum, there are other books!!!

Sadly, one of my very favorite authors died at the age of 78 (far too soon), but not before publishing the very final book in her best series. No one will ever write like Dorothy Dunnett.

However, the Lit forum was what got me into Dunnett, specifically a recommendation from another member of this forum, to whom I am eternally grateful.

[Toth]

25 minutes ago, Tywin et al. said:

I described it like pen pals (had one from France in HS). Mostly one where I found sane people around the world to talk about politics and sports with to try to learn. Still a head scratcher to me how someone couldn't see why you could become friends with people here, even if you've never met them in person. To each their own I guess, but some of you have been more honest and real with me than people I've know for ages. 

Truth be told, my only friends are from here, but I'm an outlier and don't count.^^

But yea, full agreement with Mme deVenoge, it's a specific combination of the shared interest in the same kind of stories that somehow also leads to relatively similar views on the world here as well as the anonymity. Heck, I'm only this honest about what's going on in my life here specifically because I'll never have to meet anyone here in person.^^

15 minutes ago, Gaston de Foix said:

I'm sorry to hear that, mate.  There's a lot wrong with the way dating works currently, and stuff like this is the worst part.  Being sociable is hard work for me too, you aren't alone in that. 

Well, I guess it was simply dumb to try in the first place. I really should stop panicking about my age and focus on getting more outside.

[Madame deVenoge]

13 minutes ago, Toth said:

Truth be told, my only friends are from here, but I'm an outlier and don't count.^^

But yea, full agreement with Mme deVenoge, it's a specific combination of the shared interest in the same kind of stories that somehow also leads to relatively similar views on the world here as well as the anonymity. Heck, I'm only this honest about what's going on in my life here specifically because I'll never have to meet anyone here in person.^^

Well, I guess it was simply dumb to try in the first place. I really should stop panicking about my age and focus on getting more outside.

Dude, I’m ALMOST FIFTY and as a woman, I’ve been panicking about my age for the better part of thirty years. 

I recently decided to stop panicking about my age.

Also, yes, we should all get outside more, and despite my arthritic knees and spine, I’ve been jogging three miles a few times a week. This is helpful.

Edited May 21 by Madame deVenoge

[Gaston de Foix]

 I'm on the lit forum all the time!  I encountered Abercrombie, Abraham and Bakker (to stick with just the first two letters of the alphabet) thanks to boarders back in the mid-2000s.  

But since this is dating thread, let me ask a dating-specific question that maybe @Ran or someone else knows.  Have there been any board romances that have gone the distance?