Xray the Enforcer Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Just returned home. Will write up a real report soonish, but wanted to give the shattered and sad a place to report the actual haps of Boskone. I'll start. Primordial Man in full effect: "Have you ever kissed a total stranger?" Better yet, what the man said after he went down in flames trying to pick me up: Primordial Man: Hey, at least I tried. Young Bull: No, man. You failed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balefont Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 I personally enjoyed being asked if i was drunk enough to show my tits. the way i felt this morning explains why cons are good for being spread out every 6 months or so. gods, I finally stopped shaking a few hours ago. Zray, great to hang wit you and Mr. Zray, again. I hope Mr. Zray didn't mind my butting in behind the bar. All I can say is a came for a gin and tonic and then started having fun back there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. X Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 I hope Mr. Zray didn't mind my butting in behind the bar. All I can say is a came for a gin and tonic and then started having fun back there. I did not mind one bit. Except for that part when you tried to punch me in the stomach to make me puke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balefont Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 I did not mind one bit. Except for that part when you tried to punch me in the stomach to make me puke. sorry, I didn't mean for my demonstration to get out of hand. That four-bottles-of-whiskey-one-raw-egg-and-vinegar-did-not-make-me-puke guy was riling me up. I got a little excited is all. Sry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 This year's Boskone was, by choice, a low-key affair. Minimal, frog-based decorations (thanks Regina and Fenryng -- I have Frog, and will bring him to each con going forward as our new Beyonce-shrieking mascot) and a small but impressive selection of booze that, of course, featured locally distilled Yankee Spirits vodka. Mr. X and I arrived at 8pm or so, got sidetracked into having cocktails with his parents and sister in the lobby of the hotel, and eventually we made it up to the not-advertised or marked BwB suite. Got a big hug from George and Parris, and ran squealing into the arms of Ser Mel T (and who wouldn't?). Party was cool -- Mr. X, Alchemist and Frisco did the bartending (I swore it off for this Con) -- with mostly BwB people. There was, however, an interloper. An interloper who unwisely propositioned Ser Mel T with the words "I have a primordial urge to sleep with you." And 'lo, a Legend Was Born. Primordial Man, in turn, over the course of two days, tried to pull every single BwB woman in the joint. Every single one of us. (Give credit where credit is due: we are one HAWT group of ladies.) He also sings. And picks his nose. But I get ahead of myself. In any case, at 3am, after a few cocktails and someone screaming about teabagging, it was time to break up the party. Mr. X, me, Stego and Lady Stego all retired to our soundproof suite and crashed. The next morning, Stego was fit, and I was a hungover piece of shit. I barfed all morning, but managed to hold the tide until I made it Stego's house. There transpired a delicately choreographed dance integrating my barf sessions with the Stego family's need for showers. The two Stego cats are adorable, because they bumped their heads against my knees with affection while I clutched the porcelain throne. I slept most of the afternoon away, and after a very shaky dinner and Hair of the Dog Harpoon Ale, I was ready for Saturday night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. X Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 That four-bottles-of-whiskey-one-raw-egg-and-vinegar-did-not-make-me-puke guy was riling me up. Oh man, that guy was way too enthusiastic about his drinking. He complemented us on getting him drunk on potin and mead. I could see how this con report thread could easily turn into transcriptions of the characters we had on hand Saturday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 sorry, I didn't mean for my demonstration to get out of hand. That four-bottles-of-whiskey-one-raw-egg-and-vinegar-did-not-make-me-puke guy was riling me up. I got a little excited is all. Sry. Bale, I loved seeing you again. You were in Rare Form, even if you tried to make Mr. X barf. It's only right and good, since I spent most of my day doing just that. :sick: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoth Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 An interloper who unwisely propositioned Ser Mel T with the words "I have a primordial urge to sleep with you." OMG! Wish I coulda been there!. A Classic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 OMG! Wish I coulda been there!. A Classic! Oh, as each person checks in, you will have your absolute fill of Primordial Man. A true Boskone hero, was he. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. X Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Primordial Man, in turn, over the course of two days, tried to pull every single BwB woman in the joint. Every single one of us. (Give credit where credit is due: we are one HAWT group of ladies.) He also sings. And picks his nose. On Saturday night, he was at the bar while Balefont and I were bartending. Primordial Man was talking about being of Scottish descent for some reason, and Bale mentioned that we have a number of Scottish boarders who always seem to end up talking about their cocks online. Primordial Man took that as the cue to talk about his cock: "Well, the thing about us Scottish people, is that when we're flaccid, we look pretty small and unimpressive. But when I get a hard-on it's like I HAVE A TWO-BY-FOUR IN MY PANTS!" (capslock used to emphasize the part that was shouted loud enough for all in the room to hear) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 Good times. The moments when you aren't sure if you should laugh, run away in horror or just set them on fire. (Perhaps a combination of all three?) Sounds like a fun Con, wish I could have made it. I hope you are less green Xray. I am. Thanks, Ro. I wish you coulda been there, because the beatdown you would have given to Primordial Man would be worth 5 of those horrid Saturday hangovers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 "But when I get a hard-on it's like I HAVE A TWO-BY-FOUR IN MY PANTS!" Fixed that for you. Yes, good people, he screamed this during one of those pauses in conversation when the entire room, for a moment, was utterly silent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Man, reading con reports is almost better than reading the books. I gotta get to a con. Indy in July, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghosts Companion Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 I am soooooooooooooooooo jealous I could not go. I missed you all so much! But I am so glad you had a good time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 Before I go to bed, I'd just like to point out a few things: 1) I was not the only Saturday blistering hangover. Aoife, Alchemist, Yagathai and his entire posse, and, well, just about everyone else except Stego and Ser Mel T, suffered. 2) Some iron-boweled freak clogged the BwB suite toilet on Saturday morning. Stego donated his only plunger to the cause. 3) The Best N00b Evar. McCloskey. If there was ever a trooper, a man utterly fit for BwB glory in the face of crushing odds, it is he. He showed up with his own booze. He searched entire floors until he found the BwB suite. He barreled into the party not knowing a goddamned soul, stuck out his hand, and introduced himself. And then he proceeded to get completely and utterly wasted, passed out in a chair by 1am, and was then subjected to punking on the same dire level as Lodey's ultra-permanent silver paint pen shenanigans. McCloskey ended up with temporary tattoos on his face. He is the subject of many, many photos. And he even traveled, still ensconced in his easy chair, all the way to the 16th floor of the hotel, alone in the elevator... ...where he got stuck, because we couldn't get the doors to that particular elevator to open. (we finally rescued him and brought him back to the 4th floor.) Somewhere in Boston, a young man is nursing a Gregor Clegane-size hangover, is probably wondering how the hell to get the damned tattoos off of his face (tip: rubbing alcohol), and is probably wanting to hunt someone down to make them pay. But I say that my hat is off to you, McCloskey. You made us all desperately proud, especially when we got you back in one piece from the roof of the hotel. HAIL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Lodey Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 3) The Best N00b Evar. McCloskey. If there was ever a trooper, a man utterly fit for BwB glory in the face of crushing odds, it is he. He showed up with his own booze. He searched entire floors until he found the BwB suite. He barreled into the party not knowing a goddamned soul, stuck out his hand, and introduced himself. And then he proceeded to get completely and utterly wasted, passed out in a chair by 1am, and was then subjected to punking on the same dire level as Lodey's ultra-permanent silver paint pen shenanigans. I would like to meet this man. God, sounds like a hell of a good time... so pissed I couldn't make it ... ahhhh... the Hangovers and Shenanigans. So glad to hear it was a blast. Silver pen shenanigans are great too, even when you end up with a big silver cock on your belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ Dawn Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Primordial Man in full effect: "Have you ever kissed a total stranger?" Mmhmm. Many times. Have you ever kissed a girl named 'Pixie'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stego Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Still have visitors. Aoife, Pod, Ed Tollett, and Ser Mel T are all asleep somewhere in my tiny abode. I will post about the con (with pics) later this week when all the pizza shenanigans are over. We still have the best parties. No one else is close. You should all have stayed for the gripe session. It was memorable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maid Sansa Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Gods, I feel a hangover starting just reading about the con, people! The booze vapours must be wafting through some hole in space/time continuum. N00bs, primordial urges and booze. Of such stuff, legends are made. (And McCloskey has a whole lotta views to his profile all of sudden...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddy Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 (And McCloskey has a whole lotta views to his profile all of sudden...) Yeah, some of us just cant help following links in con report threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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