Dycedarg Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Can anyone elaborate on moral celery for me? I'm a Goodkind virgin, I have to admit. Though I guess that's a virginity to be proud of after reading these threads. Virgins? There are no virgins in Tairy's world (either the villains rape them or the heroes let other people do it for them). Yeah, moral celery is our joking term for moral clarity which the 'heroes' supposedly possess despite being heroic in any normal sense of the word. SOT is not a parody and TG really thinks his heroes are Doing The Right Thing At All Times. Do not try to make sense of this or you will go insane, just like many of us have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Or you'll become like Terry, who not only has issues, but fucking owns the magazine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I was scrolling back through previous threads, and I realize that long before myself, this thread title was suggested by Erzulie the Unruly (above)! I must apologize and dedicate the thread to him. Obviously I'll turn in my objectivist hat and eat my own testicles. *Gulp* :sick: No no no. In true Tairy fashion you should claim that you've never read anything by Erzulie and any similarities are pure coincidence, then hint that what you've done is way better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltaran Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I have a thought. After hearing MinDonner's karaoke rendition of You're So Vain this weekend, it strikes me that this is a song of much celery and truthiness, and could easily become Richard's signature theme song. Are there any other suitably celerious songs out there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Well, with one quick change "Eye of the tiger" could become "Eye of the raptor", it would be perfect for Dick's Ja La training montage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 No no no. In true Tairy fashion you should claim that you've never read anything by Erzulie and any similarities are pure coincidence, then hint that what you've done is way better. Well, now that you mention it, I never actually read that thread, I just posted at random, but because of all my incredible talent and vision, I managed to revolutionize the thread. It's good that I didn't read any posts, because I would just want to fix them, and I can only edit my own. Which need no fixing, because everything I write is the absolute best that I could produce. No matter what, I am 100% convinced that I could not write a better post. How has the Yeard not been strangled by someone, the sanctimonious prick? WM - I am greatly enjoying your issues to magazines extrapolation. Allow me to present you with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mme Erzulie Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I was scrolling back through previous threads, and I realize that long before myself, this thread title was suggested by Erzulie the Unruly (above)! I must apologize and dedicate the thread to him. Obviously I'll turn in my objectivist hat and eat my own testicles. *Gulp* :sick: Final point - reading through Stone of Tears I found this. Looks like Mystar isn't the only one who copies and pastes in his work. Much obliged. The Bird Man laughed, even though he had already heard the story threee times by now. Savidlin laughed and slapped Richard's back. The hunters laughted and slapped their thighs. Richard laughed as he watched them react to Kahlan's translation. Kahlan laughed at seeing Richard laugh. So, I guess Richard laughed, and all the men laughed? Satan in hell, that's bad. I just skimmed the this part the first time I read your post, and thought it was another parody, like the excellent one on Goodkind writing a letter, and I thought to myself, "this was sub-par. Not very believable." Dalai Llama, Johnny Drama, Coochie Mama. This guy could not write to save Ayn Rand's life. No no no. In true Tairy fashion you should claim that you've never read anything by Erzulie and any similarities are pure coincidence, then hint that what you've done is way better. Much outraged. Filled with righteous anger. Beware of melon sized holes appearing in your midst. I feel my thing rising. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wolf Maid Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I have a thought. After hearing MinDonner's karaoke rendition of You're So Vain this weekend, it strikes me that this is a song of much celery and truthiness, and could easily become Richard's signature theme song. Are there any other suitably celerious songs out there? Any Shania Twain song will do. Or Britney Spears, particularly Oops I did it again. Did you see her clothes in the video? That's what I imagine Mord-Sith would wear. WM - I am greatly enjoying your issues to magazines extrapolation. Allow me to present you with Thanks. I got that idea from a someone in an LJ entry about some girl who wants to be the next Ayn Rand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caligula_K Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Welcome to the GK boards. Moral celery pertains to moral clarity, which, according to TG, Richard has in abundance and what Lemmings of Discord lack. For, as it is written: "And the hippies shalt be armed only with their hatred for moral clarity" (Goodkind 17:8). As it is so, it only makes it easier and more morally celerious for Dick to rip their spines out. The Bird Man laughed, even though he had already heard the story threee times by now. Savidlin laughed and slapped Richard's back. The hunters laughted and slapped their thighs. Richard laughed as he watched them react to Kahlan's translation. Kahlan laughed at seeing Richard laugh. Wow, I think this might be the worst piece of writing of all time. Do you have a page number for the mass market paperback? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alytha Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I'm planning to write a SoT/Discworld crossover parody. Pterry vs Tairy basically (Apologies to Pterry ) Any good ideas to add? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 I'm planning to write a SoT/Discworld crossover parody. Pterry vs Tairy basically (Apologies to Pterry ) Any good ideas to add? Best idea - don't do it. Why would you do such a thing? Diskworld doesn't deserve Richard Rahl. OK, I'll provide this one. If Richard is the Bringer of Death, would he carry Death in his pocket, like Death of Rats? Wow, I think this might be the worst piece of writing of all time. Do you have a page number for the mass market paperback? Unfortunately the library saw fit to povide me with the first edition hardcover; it's basically right before Richard has his first headache, and the Mud People are attacked by the screeling. It's around page 75 or so in the hardcover. I'm reading really slowly, just because it's so fucking awful. The only thing that's gotten me this far is the skim reading - there generally isn't anything complicated enough to make me read it thoroughly. I'll try to get the exact page number tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alytha Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Best idea - don't do it. Why would you do such a thing? Diskworld doesn't deserve Richard Rahl. Don't worry, the Discworlders will win, of course. OK, I'll provide this one. If Richard is the Bringer of Death, would he carry Death in his pocket, like Death of Rats? Would death be seen dead in the company of such a one as Richard Rahl? Death likes small kittens. RR smashes children's jaws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 OK, so I finally took the time to read the pages started by whelp in The Board That Shall Not Be Named. I like how the very last post on the thread, the really long one by The Tard That Shall Not Be Named finally hits up against the real reason (and a couple cheap-shots along the way) - Tairy fucked up, he lets his stupid message override his tairyble plot. He wanted an opportunity to show off how smart Richie was, or push some plot fetish forward, and didn't bother with any continuity or implications for the future to alter what he was going to wrote. Tairy doesn't even know what's happening in his own world, he apparently has to check with readers to see if it will work IN HIS OWN WORLD. Fuck I hate that guy. Anyone remember the part where Richie uses the First Rule on DR? And afterwards, Zedd keeps braying about how only a wizard could have done so? Too many question marks? The rules involve no actual magic, anyone in similar circumstances could have done exactly the same thing if they had thought of it. In fact, anyone in the same circumstances WOULD have done the same thing, as it is essentially a very simple ploy. Unless I'm missing something of tremendous subtlety in the book. Which I doubt. ETA: Final note, it appears that Yeardi fans can have coherent arguments, so long as they are framed as completely within the SoT universe. Once you try and stretch their minds outside of the fantasy bubble, that's when the name calling and 'but...but...but... no YOU are stupid/not getting it/ignoring the world-changing implications of this powerful piece of literature/fat/dumb/what have you' takes over. Except for a rare few who can't even handle the in-universe debates, because the universe is so incoherent and contradictory. The yeard really does bring out the worst in me, as it does all humans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltaran Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I'm planning to write a SoT/Discworld crossover parody. Pterry vs Tairy basically (Apologies to Pterry ) Any good ideas to add? A face-off between Granny Weatherwax and a namble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Anyone remember the part where Richie uses the First Rule on DR? And afterwards, Zedd keeps braying about how only a wizard could have done so? Too many question marks? The rules involve no actual magic, anyone in similar circumstances could have done exactly the same thing if they had thought of it. In fact, anyone in the same circumstances WOULD have done the same thing, as it is essentially a very simple ploy. Unless I'm missing something of tremendous subtlety in the book. Which I doubt. Hmm, if memory serves, using wfr on Darkie didn't mean he was a wizard. It was cuz ol' Dick was able to memorize that book to trick him. Only wizards can memorize wizard books. But, earlier in that book Dick tricked Zedd with wfr, and I'm pretty sure that Zedd said Dick had the gift then. So he's a wizard twice now. Naturally, though Dick always believes everything Zedd tells him, he's pretty stubborn in denying being a wizard. Some kind of Rand al'Thor angstiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moosicus Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 *something screwy went on* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WLU Posted May 28, 2007 Author Share Posted May 28, 2007 A face-off between Granny Weatherwax and a namble Ouch, poor namble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alytha Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I know I shouldn't even think of asking this question...but what exactly is a namble? The nice innocent part of me so far assumed it was an adjective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 I know I shouldn't even think of asking this question...but what exactly is a namble? The nice innocent part of me so far assumed it was an adjective. A creature of the underworld with a barbed prick that you apparently need to have sex with to prove that you are a bad guy/girl. Richard Rahl, of course, would never have sex with a namble, and that time in D'Hara doesn't count because it was only almost-sex and he was really drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alytha Posted May 28, 2007 Share Posted May 28, 2007 Right...yeah, Granny would have fun with that one...poor namble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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