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Scenes that made your eyes burn


The Wolf Maid

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So, is there any particular scene in a book that just made you want to tear your eyes out in frustration, disgust or anger? Perhaps a fight scene that left you with a bad taste on the mouth, or a sex scene that made you want to throw up? Share them!

I particularly have one scene that I still can't get out of my mind. It's voted, IIRC, as one of the worst sex scenes of 2006 (and no, it's not Goodkind):

"Ignoring him, Mary lay back on the bed and pulled away at the sagging corrugations of her body until she was able to locate her sex. - Ah've nae cream tae lubricate this. Ye'll huv tae use spit. Howk it up, she commanded. ...

Work it in, Mary urged, as Skinner took his thick green slime and spread it like a chef might glaze some pastry, at the same time slowly breaching and exploring. A ludicrously distended clitoris popped out from nowhere like a jack-in-the-box, the size of a small boy's penis, and disconcertingly strangulated groans coming from the bed told Skinner that he was hitting the spot. After a while she gasped, - Pit it in now ... pit it in ..."

Mmmm. Phlegm as lubricant. :sick: :ack:

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holy fuck. whatever I was going to post, it just got trumped by what I just read. :sick:

Still, share it. :)

That one is from Irving Welsh, the same guy who wrote Trainspotting. The book isn't all that bad, according to the reviews I've read, but that scene stands out as just...:ick:. Apparently scatology is one of the author's staple topics. :dunno:

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So, is there any particular scene in a book that just made you want to tear your eyes out in frustration, disgust or anger? Perhaps a fight scene that left you with a bad taste on the mouth, or a sex scene that made you want to throw up? Share them!

I particularly have one scene that I still can't get out of my mind. It's voted, IIRC, as one of the worst sex scenes of 2006 (and no, it's not Goodkind):

"Ignoring him, Mary lay back on the bed and pulled away at the sagging corrugations of her body until she was able to locate her sex. - Ah've nae cream tae lubricate this. Ye'll huv tae use spit. Howk it up, she commanded. ...

Work it in, Mary urged, as Skinner took his thick green slime and spread it like a chef might glaze some pastry, at the same time slowly breaching and exploring. A ludicrously distended clitoris popped out from nowhere like a jack-in-the-box, the size of a small boy's penis, and disconcertingly strangulated groans coming from the bed told Skinner that he was hitting the spot. After a while she gasped, - Pit it in now ... pit it in ..."

Mmmm. Phlegm as lubricant. :sick: :ack:

That is amazingly ugly. And to think, I was only going to bring up some of the bestiality scenes in the later books in Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series... :ack: :sick:

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my good lord. I came in here to opine that surely this thread runs alongside/dupes the TG threads? But no, that scene made me heave. My mind is scared; I need to bleach my eyes.

N

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Well, here's another one.

This one is from My Secret Life by Walter. It was banned for a 100 years or something, and is chock-ful of terrible, terrible sex scenes.

Up into her bum hole went my finger. "Aharr," she shivered out "Bugger, fuck, fuck quicker, aharr, my God, I shall die, your spunk's, come, come, aharr, God, I shall go mad."

"Ohooo" groaned he.

If you want to know where I get this stuff, you can go here.

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Ah! Bad Harry potter slash? I think I can find that...here it is!

However, because of the constant rocking of the table, which was not designed for sexual encounters, rocked too far and tipped over. Draco and Harry slid off of it thankfully not injuring themselves and Draco's erection slipped out of him. But once the two were standing again their arms wrapped around one another and Harry let his fingers glide over Draco's muscular back and over his rear, causing the blond to groan deeply. Then suddenly their bodies were moving as they kissed and caressed one another they began heading in another direction. Soon, Harry felt something on the back of his legs and he sprawled backward onto the couch. Draco's erection was dripping pre-cum because he had been close to climax while inside of him, before they had been forced to move to a different location.

Myshkin, I do this for amusement. There's a whole LJ community dedicated to this (weepingcock). Imagine the laughter (and of course, the horror) provoked by this stuff.

Min, your blog is also featured in that site, the one with the parody of the TG sex scene. They even have a great pic of the chicken that is not a chicken.

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MD, I've seen Lyanna lurking around the board, you may not want to throw down that particular gauntlet... :P

N

ps oops, now we have to fear Wolf Maid

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Do you want to know horror? Do you want to see something so terrible that you will want to gouge out your eyes with a rusty spoon and pour maximum-strength bleach all over your brain? Something so awful I dare not even post a link? Do you want to know of a story so vile that simply by reading it, you risk damning your immortal soul? If so, I have one word for you all: Celebrian.

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"Celebrian"? Not getting the horror. Is this some Tolkien fanfic of surpassing awfulness?

Celebrian was Elrond's wife, and was at one point kidnapped by goblins. I have a horrible feeling that whatever Dycedarg is referring to relates to that period.

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