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Myshkin

Roberts Newcomb and Stanek

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Yeah well, Goodkind is not worth even bothering to think about him either, yet he got 21 threads devoted to him already. (not to mention, these threads made some people buy and read his books).

No double standards, comrades, or the death-choosers terrorists have already won.

:lol: I can't believe we're arguning this!

But Goodkind is worth bothering with! He's a properly published author (with apparent delusions of granduer). That makes it a worthy choice to throw out 21+ threads.

Mock Stanek for his "self publishing" but leave the "work" well enough alone. It's just not worth the effort.

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That means we need someone wo actually has the book. The Amazon excerpt only has the moping prince throwing his fancy knives with uncanny skill and angst how he doesn't want to be a king. He's also supposed to be 30, not 13.

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Wait, how can be something be pale and at the same time be obscured by darkness. And catwalk? A CATWALK?

I've never heard catwalk used in the way Stanek was trying to use it, but the dictionary suggests that as well as the usual use of the word catwalk it can also used to mean "narrow pathway high in the air (as above a stage or between parts of a building or along a bridge)". I didn't know that before, but it does show that Stanek's writing is at least potentially educational ;)

I was also amused by the following quote on the anti-Newcomb fan page:

I can't resist mentioning that in addition to desecrating his seven hundred pages of text, Newcomb even messed up the little map at the front of the book. North and south are up and down, as usual, but east and west have been reversed. If he couldn't find a decent editor, couldn't he at least locate a third grader who for a few bucks would have been willing to check for mistakes like that?

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Stanek is totally worth our time. He's managed to corrupt Amazon.com and B&N.com to such a degree that you can hardly look up any fantasy book without his name being suggested. It is up to us to let the unwary know what a total piece of shit this guy is. Besides which, he is a douchebag who continues to lie about being a war hero, and for that alone he deserves every ounce of our scorn.

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:agree: If he was just some mildly delusional hack who self-published, well, I have more sympathy for him. But it's his aggressive online tampering that throws out any respect I might have had for his "commitment". Seriously -- the man added a reference to himself in the Wikipedia entry on Literacy as in "Illiteracy is a theme in Robert S*anek's blah blah blah". That's beyond chutzpah -- that's outright vandalism.

He deserves to get torn up a bit.

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I found this through Google, so I’m sure Stanek has found all you guys by now and his crack team of Hotmail lawyers will soon be on the case.

I was one of the dupes who bought a Robert Stanek book due to the rave Amazon reviews. My nephew had finished the Redwall series and wanted similar sort of books for his birthday. A search on Amazon turned up a list of books with commentary by a supposed teacher that compared Robert Stanek favorably to Brian Jacques

When I got the book in the mail I was surprised at how cheap it looked (self published) and that the back cover was full of anonymous quotes that claimed Stanek was the American Tolkien. Needless to say, the book sucked.

I still didn’t suspect that most of the Amazon reviews were fake until I wrote my own. Within hours 5 positive reviews appeared and pushed my review to the next page. And later Amazon deleted it along with other recent negative reviews.

Surely the folks at Amazon must be getting annoyed at Stanek by now. He probably calls every month to have them remove negative reviews and comments. Nowadays Stanek is more careful since Amazon has a new policy which allows only customers with at least one purchase to write reviews. (although I bet he is ordering something every week and creating new accounts to keep the rave reviews coming).

Some of his alias accounts have a Real Name Badge, but that doesn’t mean much (all you need is a valid credit card number and then you can enter any name you like). There is someone with a Real Name Badge of Leonardo Da Vinci who is posting funny comments on some of Stanek’s fake reviews.

What pisses me off is he still making it appears that teachers, librarians, parents, etc are recommending his crappy books. Surely this has to be illegal?

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This taken from Stanek's Keeper Martin's Tale's book description:

Robert Stanek has been called a modern day Tolkien, and his books have been called Star Wars with Elves, a wonderful cross between Tolkien and Rowling. His blockbuster debut book sold over 150,000 copies and worldwide sales are quickly approaching 5 million. Learn more about Robert Stanek at robertstanek.com.

What the???

Patrick

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I think I just died reading a bit of that, Pat. That isn't aggressive marketing anymore, that's outright fuckery and fabrication.

Loser.

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That calls for another excerpt.

Crying out into the darkness, alone, afraid and drenched in sweat, Vilmos awoke. His thoughts raced. The whole of his small body shivered uncontrollably. Opening eyes and uncurling his huddled form from a corner, moist with his own perspiration yet still cold from the night's chill, was a slow, time-consuming process.

"It was only a nightmare," Vilmos whispered to reassure himself -- a nightmare like no other. In the dream he had used the forbidden magic once too often and the Priests of the Dark Flame -- opposers of all that is magic and magical -- came from their temples to slay him.

Vilmos stood uneasily and dipped trembling hands into the washbasin beside the bed. The cool water sucked the hurt from his eyes and mind and gently began to soothe and awaken his senses as nothing else could.

Carefully he dabbed a wet cloth to the corners of his eyes and only then did he become sothing other than the frightened boy who in his dreams huddled into the forlorn corner because of the sense of security it gave him to know his back was against the wall and that nothing could sneak up on him from behind.

Only then that he became the boy of twelve whose name was Vilmos. Vilmos because it was a trustworthy name. Vilmost because it was his father's name, who was named Vilmos because it had been his father's name. Vilmos, the Counselor's son.

This important passage asks an important question of us as readers. If he does not become Vilmos until the fifth paragraph, why is he called Vilmos in the first?

Ponder that.

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Oh, I am well aware of the horrors of Tairy. S*anek's weaknesses are more subtle. If you skimmed the quoted passage you might not even notice. But look again. Oddly continuous sentences. Immediate contradictions. Dangling modifiers. It is truly ugly.

But yes, Tairy will always remain the very pinnacle of horrible fantasy writing. Well, except he doesn't write fantasy -- I always forget that.

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Some truly mind numbing passages there. Does anybody have any Newcomb samples?

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Death choosers. :P

Yes, but by choosing death I have effectively kicked life in the jaw, thereby deserving victory, thereby choosing life. See, circular reasoning is not reserved only fo Tairy fans.

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But...

YOU SERVE THE KEEPER.

In truth, I've wondered why Sisters of the Dark can't serve Richard, while Sisters of the Light can...

But I mustn't dwell on it.

I actually think goodkind writes well, other than the many references to erections. It's just parts like the piece above, where Richard rips through groups of people for no reason.

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Yes, but by choosing death I have effectively kicked life in the jaw, thereby deserving victory, thereby choosing life. See, circular reasoning is not reserved only fo Tairy fans.

Commie Death Chooser.

(That's gotta be worse, right?)

Look, I can get behind a campaign to take down Stan ack if need be, but it's gotta be tight and organized. :P

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This taken from Stanek's Keeper Martin's Tale's book description:

Robert Stanek has been called a modern day Tolkien, and his books have been called Star Wars with Elves, a wonderful cross between Tolkien and Rowling.

By whom? His mother?

:bang:

Sad, sad, sad

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