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Myshkin

Roberts Newcomb and Stanek

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Thank you Wolf Maid.

I am very happy with the level of bashing directed at Stanek, but I can't help but feel that we are letting Newcomb off the hook a little bit. Does anybody have any good samples from Newcomb? I've heard a lot about his rape fetish and his horrid prose, and I can't wait to sink my lemming teeth into the man touched by Tairy.

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Hm, if I was to paste a horrible excerpt from Newcomb, I'd actually have to paste the entire book. Rape and sexual fetishes aside, this guy is capable of infodumping the reader to death. I'll try to find something special though.

ETA: Here's a fragment from "A Gates of Dawn", which made me aware in what manner the guy was inspired by Goodkind. :P This is so ridiculous that the fragment from Naked Empire about Richard recreating the antidote seems like a careful planning in comparison.

Here we go. Prepare the bleach:

You were very near to death when Ox finally brought you here,"� Wigg said. He looked over at the Minion warrior. "I am forced to say that I am not sure I have ever seen such unswerving loyalty, even among what used to be our Royal Guard,"� he added. "Anyway, you had almost no pulse. You were suffering from dehydration, exposure, and frostbite. Worse yet, the dark veins in your arm had covered almost your entire body. The antidote had done much to help keep you from dying, but you were too far along in your fourth convulsion by the time you ingested it. You were therefore left hanging somewhere between life and death. You were crossing over into the Afterlife, and we had to hurry."� Smiling again, he looked to Faegan. "So we improvised."

"You improvised?" Tristan exclaimed. He looked first at his sister, and then to Celeste. "I'm almost afraid to ask," he said softly.

Without speaking, Wigg again raised his hand. The other, much larger sheet covering the third table rose into the air, revealing what was beneath. Tristan's eyes went wide.

On the table sat a very large, clear ball. Its interior was separated into two equal parts by a transparent dividing wall. One half of the ball contained what appeared to be an azure substance, waving back and forth gently. The other half contained a darker, rather murky fluid that lay perfectly still.

From the outer edges of the ball ran a great many individual tubes, also made of some clear substance. At the end of each tube was a shiny, silver needle. The strange-looking contrivance seemed to crouch on the table like some kind of horrific, multicolored, crystalline spider, its legs drooping down to the floor.

"What in the name of the Afterlife is that thing?" Tristan asked. He was truly puzzled. "Where did it come from? What is in it?"

"We don't really know what it is called," Faegan replied. "Or even if it has a name. Wigg and I have been calling it the Sphere of Collection."

"And just what does it do?" Shailiha asked.

"Well, for one thing, it helped saved Tristan's life," Wigg answered.

"How?" the princess asked.

"Let me begin at the beginning," Wigg said. "Just after Traax and Ox returned with Tristan, we administered the rest of the antidote to him. But, as I said, he was still dying. While we were attending him, we also sent a force of Minions, again under Traax's command, to Fledgling House. We wanted to see if there were by chance any children remaining there. They found no children, dead or alive. But what they did find was another small contingent of hatchlings, camped outside, protecting the castle. Apparently Nicholas had planned to return. This time, however, it was the hatchlings that were outnumbered. Surprising them from above, Traax, Ox, and their forces dealt with them swiftly, wisely burning the bodies afterward. When they finally walked inside the small castle, they were astounded at what they saw."

"And that was?" Tristan asked impatiently.

"In a great hall sat this sphere," Wigg answered. "On the walls of the room were hung small, coffinlike structures. Remains of endowed blood lay everywhere - on the walls, the floor, and all around the sphere. Supposing it to be a device of the craft, perhaps even something important, Traax and Ox brought it here. Only later did we learn just how important it was." Wigg glanced at the ominous-looking sphere. A dark look came to his face.

"After examining some of the blood signatures taken from what remained in the sphere, we quickly ascertained that it was into this device that Nicholas had collected the blood of the children. Exceedingly clever, when you stop to think about it. Faegan and I can see many other practical applications that the sphere can lend itself - applications for good, rather than evil. But I digress." He returned his attention to the table.

"Just how did this thing save me?" Tristan asked. Clearly tired, he took a deep breath, running one hand through his dark hair.

"Endowed blood can live, albeit briefly, outside the body," Faegan said. "This phenomenon is witnessed by the blood signature."

Tristan sat back in his chair, thinking. "But what does all of this have to do with me?" he asked.

"After the failed Confluence, Nicholas' blood, because it had been infused with such an inordinately vast amount of the power of the stone, lived far longer than normal without its host - his living body,"� Faegan interjected. "This amazing precedent, plus the recovery of the Sphere of Collection, got Wigg and me to thinking. We formulated a plan, and then carried it out." He grinned mischievously at the prince, knowing that in a few moments he was about to shock everyone. Except for Wigg, of course.

"So what did you finally do?" Tristan asked.

Faegan looked across the table at Wigg. Taking a breath, he pushed his cheek out with his tongue and raised his eyebrows. "We used the Sphere of Collection to remove some of your poisoned blood, simultaneously replacing it with an equal amount from the corpse of your son."

Aghast, Tristan couldn't speak. He had never heard of such a bizarre thing. It seemed to him as if they had both somehow gone completely, irretrievably mad.

"You did what?" he shouted at last.

"It was your poisoned blood that was killing you, Tristan," Wigg said. "And it was the very high quality of Nicholas' blood, empowered by the stone, that was keeping his blood alive long after his body had expired. We believed that if we removed some of your tainted blood, replacing it with an equal amount of Nicholas', your blood would in turn be 'healed' from the poison. We were right. In less than two days following the procedure the dark veins covering your body began to recede, and you regained consciousness. We are sure it shall require at least several weeks for you to return to full health, but we are also equally sure that you shall. No one else - other than Traax and Ox, of course - knew that you were here, alive and under our care. We felt it best not to get everyone's spirits up, only to have them dashed again. Your funeral pyre and our descriptions of the searches conducted by Traax and Ox were merely window dressing, so that we might work uninterrupted."

Solitary's comment: I have a rather strong suspension of disbelief, but this fragment has brutally killed it. Sheesh, I'm not a doctor, but this is just so wrong...

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That was torture. Even Tairy would be ashamed of that scene.

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As for explanations: those books are one giant infodump. Still, I wouldn't be so annoyed by this one, if it wasn't so ridiculous. Hey, I know it's fantasy, but even fantasy is supposed to be subject to some basic probability.

Anyway, I was also wondering, which fragment of "The Fifth Sorceress" deserved quotation. I think I have picked one, but I'll post it later.

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Isn't there some type of lesbian rape scene in "The Fifth Sorceress"? If so, that's the scene you should quote.

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Right-Im still waiting for a 'member of staff' to validate my account since yesterday.

I have a feeling this will be along wait for a train that wont come. Maybee they fear strangers? :stunned:

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I wonder what Rober* S*anek's opinion is on fanfic. Afterall, he is compared to Rowling so very often, and everyone knows Harry Potter fanfic is a facet of her popularity. The problem with Ruin Mist fanfic is that it is quite likely to be better than the original. Assuming S*anek didn't write the fanfic himself.

I think he's got that covered...

And I'm of the opinion his entire bibliography is fanfic on crack.

"Let me begin at the beginning," Bwahahahaha! :lol:

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Worse yet, the dark veins in your arm had covered almost your entire body.

That certainly doesn't sound healthy, or even physically possible.

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"After examining some of the blood signatures taken from what remained in the sphere, we quickly ascertained that it was into this device that Nicholas had collected the blood of the children. Exceedingly clever, when you stop to think about it. Faegan and I can see many other practical applications that the sphere can lend itself - applications for good, rather than evil. But I digress." He returned his attention to the table.

:thumbsup: Very good.

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[mod bra] Remember the rules about visiting other message boards, people. No flaming, etc etc. Don't make Ran and this community look bad by being abusive trolls elsewhere. [/mod]

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Isn't there some type of lesbian rape scene in "The Fifth Sorceress"? If so, that's the scene you should quote.

Hm, I'm not exactly sure what scene are you referring to. Maybe I will in exchange quote a different, but both icky and ridiculous rape scene, already mentioned here . You really sure, you want it, Myshkin?

Alright then, hereby Solitary presents an excerpt from "The Fifth Sorceress". Our hero ( Hero? That insipid twerp?! ) is being raped by one of the EEEVIL sorceresses, because of the unprecedented quality of his blood ( ahem :P ). The EEEVIL sorceresses want his child for their own ends. Anyway, here we go. *cue horror music*:

"It is now time to tell you that there has been a slight change of plans," Succiu said, casting her eyes up and down Tristan's helpless body. "This is the ninth day of Failee's deliberations, and she is ready to perform the Blood Communion. Think of it, Chosen One. It is to be this very night." She paused, relishing the words, as if simply speaking them to him could make the ritual happen sooner. "And the other event, the one that the First Mistress so carefully explained to you before, is to take place now."

Tristan froze, his mind reeling.

She was going to rape him, and take from him his firstborn child.

*snip*

Succiu dropped her arm and the azure bolt disappeared, but the prince remained in the air, a few feet away from the wall. The second mistress then began to manipulate her hands in front of herself as if she were disrobing some imaginary person who might have been standing before her. And his clothes began to come off.

*snip*

Succiu looked at Shailiha wickedly. "I told you he would not disappoint," she said. "Time to put him in his place."

With a slight movement of her hand, the prince's body gently lowered toward the altar. She turned her palm up, and he turned in the air with it, following her movements exactly until he was lying on his back on the cold, smooth altar. He lay spread-eagled, totally unable to move his arms or his legs. This is where she means to do it, he thought in disbelief. On the altar of the Blood Communion.

*snip ( removed due to length )*

"Ah," the second mistress cooed as she stood above him on the white altar, her eyes hungrily taking in the length of his body. "Now we are finally ready to begin."

Slowly, almost carefully, she lowered herself down upon him just as Natasha had done, until her face was only inches from his own.

Immediately a searing, unrelenting fire shot through him. Not the usual warm, pleasant beginnings of lovemaking, but an unnatural, all-encompassing, and painful burning that started in his groin and reached out to every corner of his body. He tried to arch his back in defiance, but there was nowhere to go and no way to turn from it.

Succiu looked down on him with now unseeing eyes, her mahogany-colored irises lost high beneath her eyelids, her red lips parted seductively as her pleasure intensified. She began to undulate slowly upon him, her cadence increasing as her pleasure began to build.

The pain Tristan felt was becoming unbearable, the burning sensation increasing even farther as his breath came harder. He was bathed in sweat, most of it his own but some of it belonging to Succiu as she continued to ride him, lost in pleasure.

It was the panic of being raped by Natasha all over again, but this time there was no one to save him. No azure wizard's noose would come to his aid, and even had there been dreggan or dirk at his back he would have been unable to grip it. This time the sorceresses would win, and he would give them his firstborn. He knew it in his heart, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

And then it happened.

Succiu threw back her head and screamed, and as if she could will it, with that scream came the inevitable waves as they rippled through his groin. But this time, the experience was different.

The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced in his life.

Every nerve was on fire as he, too, began to scream, his sweat-coated body convulsively dancing and jangling like a marionette at the end of unseen strings, his head thrashing violently back and forth, white foam dribbling from the corners of his mouth. To his dazed and controlled mind it seemed to go on forever, his own screams mingling with hers, joining and careening off the white, spotless walls of the Sanctuary.

And then, finally, it was over. Succiu's eyes returned to normal as she looked down upon him in triumph, her breasts heaving with exertion. She put a hand to one side of his face and stroked it affectionately as his consciousness began to clear.

Finally looking up, he could see that she was still astride him, and her breathing had begun to slow. But there was something different. There was an azure glow all about her. It danced and flickered in the soft light of the room, creating convoluted shadows of violet and blue for a short time before finally receding, and then disappearing altogether. She smiled and lowered her face to within only inches of his own.

"Congratulations," she purred to him. "No man but you, no one but the Chosen One, could have survived what has just transpired between us. This time it was special for me." She tilted her head to one side, to watch her words sink into his consciousness. "For you see, my sweet, I have just conceived."

Tristan tried to stop them, but they just came: tears. He had no clever answers for her. No glib things to say in the wake of what had just happened. He lay there, defenseless, listening to her awful words as she spoke, his tears running wet and salty down the sides of his cheeks. Blood from the wound in his side dripped lazily to the floor.

"Did the old one not tell you?" she asked. "A sorceress can indeed choose whether or not to conceive. For all of my life I have never found a male of sufficient blood quality to justify it. Until now. I'm sure you saw the azure glow that marked the blessed event." She ran her tongue around the outer edge of her lips, wetting them seductively.

"In addition to that there is one thing more that you should now know. A sorceress can greatly accelerate her pregnancy. Already I can feel it growing in my womb. Our child will be born just three days from now."

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:sick: :ack: :sick: :ack: :sick: :ack: :sick: :ack:

It was the panic of being raped by Natasha all over again

How many times does this guy get raped in one book?

Tristan tried to stop them, but they just came: tears.

The first time I saw this, I read it as "Tristan tried to stop them, but they just came: bears." And I was like, okay, now its getting good. Bears are good. But, nay, I realized my mistake.

Bears totally should have come in and eaten everyone. It would have made a much better scene.

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Trust me, I only looked. I wouldn't touch that forum with Myshkin's 10 foot pole.

Maybe you should say something positive about one of Stanek's books and see what happens. I'm sure Stanek has been waiting years for a real person to come along and do that.

He'll probably offer you the presidency of the Robert Stanek fan club, or try to include you into his master plan of astro-turfing Amazon.

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The first time I saw this, I read it as "Tristan tried to stop them, but they just came: bears." And I was like, okay, now its getting good. Bears are good. But, nay, I realized my mistake.

:rofl: :rofl:

that would have been AWESOME. :wideeyed:

As for the excerpt: thank you, Solitary, for Taking One For The Team.

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Looks like this Tristan dude has some severe urethritis.

Anyway, this stuff would look great on a movie... :ack:

Btw, the acelerated pregnancy is golden. 3 days, that has got to be a record. I guess its just short enough for the book to finish quickly and long enough for the heroes to come rescue the poor raped guy and abort the sorcerer´s spawn from hell.

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