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Goodkind XXIV: Entertaining the Illiterate with Sweeping Epic Themes


ser jon stark

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Is this thread becoming an erotica thread?

And this is fucking FREAKING ME OUT.

Pita: This is no erotica thread. This is Goodkind incarnate.

Many people freak out when first being exposed to Tairy, and it's understandable. But it's not erotic, this thread is about very important human themes, and any mention of nipple magic or namble sex is simply in place because TG needed it to illustrate the depths of the human spirit.

ETA: Damn it Moose, you beat me to the logic of the human themes.

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Is this thread becoming an erotica thread?

Because I'm 15.

And this is fucking FREAKING ME OUT.

Are you telling me that you've never been in a situation where you either had to chop off or reattach a nipple in order to save the world from communism? What kind of sheltered life have you been living?

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Truth is the nipples poking through Kahlan's pristine white dress. That's the Truth.

The Truth about this Truth is that there is more Truthfulness when Kahlan discards her white Confessor dress and smears her noble naked body with ashes, along with a bunch of armorless dudes. The Truth culminates when the naked white army slaughters the enemy.

That is Truth.

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Only Richard and his mighty thing is the TRUTH. Kahlan and her nakedness is just...a pale imitation of it.

It's hardly idle, you're using it to enlighten us. *blushes* Wolf Maid is ever so dreamy...

Thank you. Now I am suitably freaked out and flattered at the same time. Contradiction? Nah, I'm just a death chooser.

"Grasping the throbbing erection of the Ja-Gang player firmly, Richard stroked the head with his thumb."

No, you will not tempt me into writing a Jagang/Richard slash porn fic. I don't even know who will be on top and who will be bottom if I write one.

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No, you will not tempt me into writing a Jagang/Richard slash porn fic. I don't even know who will be on top and who will be bottom if I write one.

They could take turns. Or, I'm sure that Richard could explain how being the catcher is in fact the only Truthy position.

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Thus thread definitely surpassed 'Tairy-otica' about 20 posts ago. I think we should leave it up to the Yearded One himself to corrupt the minds of the young and innocent, and keep our nipple-magic and namble-rape to a manageable level. :whip:

(Or maybe just make it all kinkier so I can participate. :P)

So like, Goodkind sucks. Back to bashing the books.

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Thus thread definitely surpassed 'Tairy-otica' about 20 posts ago. I think we should leave it up to the Yearded One himself to corrupt the minds of the young and innocent, and keep our nipple-magic and namble-rape to a manageable level. :whip:

(Or maybe just make it all kinkier so I can participate. :P)

So like, Goodkind sucks. Back to bashing the books.

But Tairy's cock is ever so fun filled!

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@WLU:

I am absurdly flattered by this. Want another title?

As long as it is appropriate for a Lemming, I'd be honored :cheers:

Anyone else think of UHF by Weird Al? Ghandi II? C'mon, I can't be the biggest geek on this thread!

That was the inspiration, of course :)

@Mad Moose:

for grand-scale wars, well...there are huge battles going on throughout several of the books, you just have to look really closely to see it. Massive armies are fighting it out day and night, but all you really see of it is Klan and her followers making a quick raid into the enemy camp to kill the cooks and whores. The rest of the war reads like a childrens version of the chorus in Henry V: "Imagine in your minds a grand-scale war".

You know, if he wants to write about grand-scale war, and does not even manage to convey the feeling of it going on (see Dragonlance Chronicles, for example), then he is in trouble...and I cannot take this claim seriously.

@potsherds:

(Or maybe just make it all kinkier so I can participate.)

If you are willing to put on a Mord-Sith costume, we can surely make arrangements ;)

As for the starting sentences, I'd say that already the WFR one is a good indication and a fair warning for readers - if the best book of the series starts like this, then what do you expect from the rest?

"I wonder what’s bothering the chickens," Richard said.

The chicken are afraid that you might visit them again, Richard.

Kahlan stood quietly in the shadows, watching, as evil knocked softly on the door.

Poe must be turning in his grave right about now...

And do not be surprised that this evil knocks on the door instead of bashing its way in - this is a very low-key attempt of the writer to make evil seem devious, subtle, seductive... I guess. If not, then it was a shot for the Bulwer-Lytton Award, imo.

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@WLU:

As long as it is appropriate for a Lemming, I'd be honored :cheers:

May I suggest this title:

Twister of Breasticles

Inspired Lemming of Discord

And suggestions for the next thread:

Goodkind XXV: Evil Knocking Softly on the Door

or

Goodkind XXV: It's What's Been Bothering the Chickens

Bwak, bwak, BWAAAAAAAAK!

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