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Goodkind XXIV: Entertaining the Illiterate with Sweeping Epic Themes


ser jon stark

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Hence why you will never be Sucker of the Cock of Truth.

Vigo's infection has become a plague. We will all suckcumb. The image of Tairy's hot, throbbing cock twitching in my mouth will never leave me, nor will this salty aftertaste no matter how much Listerine I swish.

OK, can we all agree now that it's gone too far? The next step is The Wolf Maid writing slashfic, and no-one, I mean, really no-one wants that. The mods would have to scorched-earth-policy the thread, possibly the entire board.

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You're all diseased. Any Tairy Slashfic should be confined to Min's blog where it will be safe. Let's not sully the board any more than we already have.

I can think of a funnier place to post it...

Bad WLU! Spank the naughty boy!

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If she needed a boob job, she would not be perfect. And we all know that she is perfect - or are you a lying, commie Death-Chooser, who claims otherwise?

you just don't understand Tairy's genius. Of course she is perfect, a boob job would make her more than perfect. That isn't a contradiction. I mean, who can say no to double Gs?

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exactly!

I wonder what a Z size in bras is.

Probably painful.

It's probably what female nambles have.

That's a topic we haven't discussed.

Men who have their things rise with female nambles...

I can't do this.

I just can't.

Someone with greater celery than I should do it.

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:spank:

We both know you enjoyed that far more than I did. Tart.

exactly!

I wonder what a Z size in bras is.

Probably painful.

It's probably what female nambles have.

Along with barbed nipples.

That's a topic we haven't discussed.

Men who have their things rise with female nambles...

I can't do this.

I just can't.

Someone with greater celery than I should do it.

Young padawan, as you get older, eventually you'll be able to. Unfortunately you'll also have the sense to realize you shouldn't. The Yeard brings out the worst in everyone. Anyone who could do it, probably shouldn't be here.

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Vigo's infection has become a plague. We will all suckcumb. The image of Tairy's hot, throbbing cock twitching in my mouth will never leave me, nor will this salty aftertaste no matter how much Listerine I swish.

OK, can we all agree now that it's gone too far? The next step is The Wolf Maid writing slashfic, and no-one, I mean, really no-one wants that. The mods would have to scorched-earth-policy the thread, possibly the entire board.

Salty? I've always found it to have a goatlike flavour.

You're all diseased. Any Tairy Slashfic should be confined to Min's blog where it will be safe. Let's not sully the board any more than we already have.

I think that having 24 threads devoted to Goodkind is already about as low as you can sink. Any further debauchery involving Sword of Truth slash fanfiction is par for the course.

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But you'll tell everyone else, eh? Eh? Myshkin, PM me 'kay? :P

:P

You're all diseased. Any Tairy Slashfic should be confined to Min's blog where it will be safe. Let's not sully the board any more than we already have.

But, but, it so much better to post it here first! And it's tradition!

Anyone who can do this is probably in TG.net

:lmao:

Somebody should run this thread through that rating thing. I bet we're at least at NC-17 already.

I think we went waaaay past that somewhere in the 5th or 4th page. But Moose, can you put of the NSFW sign, just in case?

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exactly!

That's a topic we haven't discussed.

Men who have their things rise with female nambles...

I can't do this.

I just can't.

Someone with greater celery than I should do it.

Ol' Dick could do it. If anyone could bend a female namble over and make her feel like a natural woman, it's our boy Richard. The way it would work is, through Richards flawless "reasoning" he'd discover that the only way to destroy a female namble is via coitus. And guess where the barbs are! That's right. Fortunately for Dickie-boy, his training at the hands of Denna has well prepared him for the horrible agony of what amounts to screwing a barbed-wire fence (but one that pushes back). At the end (oops) the female namble (namblette?) turns into a hot chick that worships Richard and chooses life. There will be lots of weeping from both of them.

Sorry for all that, but Pita started it. :tantrum:

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Ol' Dick could do it. If anyone could bend a female namble over and make her feel like a natural woman, it's our boy Richard. The way it would work is, through Richards flawless "reasoning" he'd discover that the only way to destroy a female namble is via coitus. And guess where the barbs are! That's right. Fortunately for Dickie-boy, his training at the hands of Denna has well prepared him for the horrible agony of what amounts to screwing a barbed-wire fence (but one that pushes back). At the end (oops) the female namble (namblette?) turns into a hot chick that worships Richard and chooses life. There will be lots of weeping from both of them.

Sorry for all that, but Pita started it. :tantrum:

I just got to the bits with Denna in WFR again, and I don't understand what's going on anymore. I get that Denna was assigned to torture him into submission but he gave up way too quickly. He went from being an annoying prick to a really submissive and child-like... thing and he seems to be liking the Agiel-in-the-ear treatment. Are they supposed to be falling in love? If so, why? Is it Stockholm Syndrome? If it is, why is Denna reciprocating? If it isn't, then why is Richard, who is supposed to be so incredibly smart, falling so quickly into the depths of mental depression and psychosis? And why the hell did Kahlan and Zedd eat a firefighter?

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The books aren't really all THAT bad, it's more Mr Mr Goodkind himself that people object to. As has been stated above, he takes himself way too seriously. He beleives in Ayn Rand's pseudo-philosphy of "Objectivism', which is almost as ridiculous as Hubbard's Scientology, and his interviews are beyond obnoxious.

The first five books in the series are actually decent reads. If you can handle awkward prose, juvenille violence, and a two dimensional leading man. From the sixth book on he really pushes the Objectivism and the books descend into repeated plotlines and characters giving these horrible 20 page speeches that set an absolutist world view of right and wrong.

Whereas Robert Jordan just got lost in side plots and new characters, Terry got caught up in his own ego.

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If you can handle awkward prose, juvenille violence, and a two dimensional leading man. From the sixth book on he really pushes the Objectivism and the books descend into repeated plotlines and characters giving these horrible 20 page speeches that set an absolutist world view of right and wrong.

One would think this would be sufficient reason to classify them as 'indeed, that bad'. ;)

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Salty? I've always found it to have a goatlike flavour.

I think that having 24 threads devoted to Goodkind is already about as low as you can sink. Any further debauchery involving Sword of Truth slash fanfiction is par for the course.

C'mon Brahm, the last thing we need is encouragement to lower our standards even further...

Somebody should run this thread through that rating thing. I bet we're at least at NC-17 already.

We're either below 12 or over (how old is Mystar?) 40. Either way, we should all be ashamed.

Monkey, why are you looking for sense or realistic plotting? Haven't you been reading the past 23 threads? There's no sense, just Important Human Themes (now 17% more epic!). Don't make me break out the sigh button.

If we start re-listing the flaws in the series, we're going to need new thread titles real quick. We should start preparing now.

Firefighter? Clarify, with morality.

ETA - Denna is reciprocating because Richard is a Very Rare And/Or Special Person. Sheesh.

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I would like to point out that the testicle eating incident happened in book one, the namble cock incident happened in book two, the nipple magic incident happened in book three, the sucking a bloody cock incident happened in book four, and the entire "democracy is bad" motif surfaced in book five. So I challenge the assertion that the series didn't get bad until book six. The series was shit from the very first line: "It was an odd looking vine."

Also I would like to suggest that this discussion be moved to the official Gookind thread.

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