Five Worst Books in the Last Five Years

[duchess of malfi]

What are the five worst books you have read in the past five years? Note: they do not have to be published in the past five years, you only have had read them in that time frame. And please give a brief reason of why you did not like them.

My List (no particular order):

Terry Goodkind's Pillars of Creation:

All of the books in the SOT series was pretty bad, but this one took the cake. I am someone cursed with not giving up on a series once I have started it, but this book was so bad I dropped the series like a steaming hot squishy dog turd that somehow made it into my hand. From an evil character blowing up a poor living chicken like a balloon to kill it for kicks (what is it with Goodkind and fowl anyway?) to the nobility of goats, and the adventures of a sociopathic rapist/murderer, I just could not take it anymore.

Laurell K. Hamilton's Danse Macabre:

Another series killer, though at least (unlike Goodkind) the first several books of the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series were fun little supernatural mysteries. Literally no plot, though there were a couple of strands of something that might have become a plot if the author had bothered to develop them. Mostly very boring and badly written sex scenes, very boring and badly written scenes of vampire politics (all revolving around whose servants could enter into sexual service to Anita Blake next), and endless emo angsting about sex. Yuck. This is what happens when writers go bad. And the how the hell can sex be so boring????

Christopher Paolini's Eragon:

Not an original thought in a rather lengthy book. I wonder if George Lucas can sue for a plot that so closely follows Star Wars Episode Four?

Nights With Sasquatch

I do not think I could say anymore about this awful little book - the title says it all.

Rita Mae Brown's Cat's Eyewitness:

I have recently given up on this long lasting mystery series. While the last two books, Sour Puss and Puss 'n Cahoots were truly craptactular, in restrospect, this is the book where the author jumped the shark on her Mrs. Murphy Mysteries. She took long developed characters and abruptly changed their personalities, and even, in one case, sexual orientation. But the worst thing was turning all of the characters into mouthpieces for her political and social views. Sorry, I do not need to hear the author's political beliefs through the mouths of cats. God, I hate preachy writers. If you want to wax on endlessly about your views on politics and society, please write an editorial for your local paper - do not pervert a long standing best selling mystery series with that crap.

So which books have completely turned you off?

[Enan]

I am really glad and somewhat proud to say I haven't read none of the 5 books. hehe

Sorry you had to read them all. *sniggers*

But in retrospect, I have read several really stinky ones this year, including a couple which everyone in the board seems to like.

my list

The Virtu by Sarah Monette

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie

Elantris by Brandon Sanderson

There sure are more.... by I forgot the title thankfully.

[RedEyedGhost]

I am really glad and somewhat proud to say I haven't read none of the 5 books. hehe

Sorry you had to read them all. *sniggers*

But in retrospect, I have read several really stinky ones this year, including a couple which everyone in the board seems to like.

my list

The Virtu by Sarah Monette

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie

Elantris by Brandon Sanderson

There sure are more.... by I forgot the title thankfully.

That is a weird list you've got there I absolutely love The Blade Itself, and I thought Elantris was pretty good. You're also the first person I've heard say that The Name of the Wind is bad. But, hey, if we all liked the same things the world would be a pretty shitty place.

My list would be (in order):

1. Viriconium by M. John Harrison

2. Children of Dune by Frank Herbert

3. Lord Foul's Bane by Stephen Donaldson

4. Forest Mage by Robin Hobb

and I'm not sure about the fifth but if I had to chose I would probably pick

5. The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian by Robert E. Howard (I just couldn't get into it, and all of the story's seemed the same: something bad is going down, Conan shows up, finds the phallic monster causing the trouble, kills it, and then has sex with a super hottie)

[The Wolf Maid]

Terry Goodkind's Wizard's First Rule and Debt of Bones.

Duchess, Nights with the sasquatch was the one you posted in the Worst scene thread, right? the one with the scene like this:

But I couldn't shoot. Judy was between us, sitting with her back toward me on a mound of mossy turf. Now she was leaning back on her elbows. The Sasquatch was bending close over her, his hands on her thighs.

I watched with bewilderment - horror. At first I did not realize what was happening. Then it hit me like a blow.

Her hand left those moleskin balls and moved to his head, stroking his ears, digging into that glossy fur, and...Mother of God! He was going down on her!

And Jesus! She wasn't resisting!

That passage still gives me nightmares. I shudder to think what the rest of the book was like.

[ser jon stark]

eragon is definatly one of them, then take your pick from 7-11 of WoT (except 9 was alright) ummmm I really hated Anthem but that wasn't chosen that was for class

[Enan]

That is a weird list you've got there I absolutely love The Blade Itself, and I thought Elantris was pretty good. You're also the first person I've heard say that The Name of the Wind is bad. But, hey, if we all liked the same things the world would be a pretty shitty place.

Heh. I know... Guess I am weird like that.

The Blade Itself... I just don't like any of the characters. Actually hated some of them.

I thought Elantris was just plain boring.

And there is "The name of the Wind." Like you said, everyone seems to like it.

But I HATE a novel where the author explains stuff to readers.

Just one example.

The writer goes something like "Let me explain" and write why cloak is useful...

I don't know.. maybe he was writing a satire of sff genre?

There's nothing worse than failed unfunny satire.

[perspicacious]

I try not to read bad books, but the only one I can think of offhand is The Eyre Affair. I know a lot of people like it, but I thought it was trying to be too many things at once and the characters didn't connect to me at all.

[Guarneri]

Hey, hey, why is Children of Dune on there? It doesn't come close to Dune, but it was still an interesting read with well-written characters, fairly good intrigue, and the usual Frank Herbert philosophy. It didn't really introduce anything new, but putting it as "worst book" is a bit over the top.

All in all: fucking Eragon. *Brainsplosion"

And the recent WoT books.

[Lady Blackfish]

This is cheating because I could never finish it, but that's also a testament to its badness -- The Davinci Code, and it's an obvious one that I'm sure is on many people's bad list, but it did have to be said if only just to get it out there. The prose just sucks. I didn't get far enough to say whether the story generally is satisfying, but the prose itself plain sucks.

That's all I remember for sucky books.

[perspicacious]

Oh crap--completely forgot about The Da Vinci Code....and I'm kind of glad about that.

I also read the first Wheel of Time book. That was pretty bad too.

[RedEyedGhost]

Hey, hey, why is Children of Dune on there? It doesn't come close to Dune, but it was still an interesting read with well-written characters, fairly good intrigue, and the usual Frank Herbert philosophy. It didn't really introduce anything new, but putting it as "worst book" is a bit over the top.

That book was just painful. It was dense when it needed to be simple, and simple when it needed to be dense. The politics were much less interesting than the first book. The Preacher storyline was nonsense. I didn't care for the characters at all. And I literally read the first 80% of the book three pages at a time because that on is the best cure for insomnia, seriously, better than ambien.

But that's just my opinion. That's why I think this is going to be a great thread, because while there will be a few consensus picks (SoT, Davinci Code, Eragon, etc) most people will list books that others absolutely love.

[lokisnow]

The DaVinci Code

Special Topics in Calamity Physics - epically bad, downright incompetent.

[The Wolf Maid]

Oh crap--completely forgot about The Da Vinci Code....and I'm kind of glad about that.

I also read the first Wheel of Time book. That was pretty bad too.

I completely forgot about that (Dan Brown's works) as well. Please include the prequel to that on the list.

[Guarneri]

That book was just painful. It was dense when it needed to be simple, and simple when it needed to be dense. The politics were much less interesting than the first book. The Preacher storyline was nonsense. I didn't care for the characters at all. And I literally read the first 80% of the book three pages at a time because that on is the best cure for insomnia, seriously, better than ambien.

But that's just my opinion. That's why I think this is going to be a great thread, because while there will be a few consensus picks (SoT, Davinci Code, Eragon, etc) most people will list books that others absolutely love.

I definitely didn't love the book, and yeah, there were tons of flaws as you pointed out.

I am just saying it's not nearly as bad as the likes of Eragon *vomits*

[Sandello]

Hold on, I see Lord Foul's Bane in this list. That's one of my favorites!

My Worst Three

- Da Vinchi Code

- Wizard's First Rule (in English)

- Green hills of California (that's Russian love story and it is the stupidest love story I've ever read)

[betrayer of hope]

One of my worst recent reads was China Mieville's Iron Council. I just couldn't get into the story, and wasn't too impressed by the language either. Possibly I was expecting too much after seeing positive reviews on this board.

[Dr Adder]

Anything written by Dan Brown - the Davinci Code being the best written and plotted of his craptacular books.

JKR's last HP book.

David Drake's Lord of the Isle series.

Eragon.

[Maltaran]

Eragon and Eldest (yes, I have read both. Feel free to mock me)

The Da Vinci Code

[Larry.]

I am very hesitant to reply here, not in small part because I see some books that were enjoyable to me on this list (Harrison, Herbert, Monette, Rothfuss, among others), but also because for me to list MY worst reads, that would in many cases be a very relative thing, since almost all the books I read I've vetted before purchasing them.

But let's see...

David Gemmell, Ironhand's Daughter - it just lacked in appeal to me, but many epic fantasies are that way for me.

Charles Stross, Singularity Sky - the writing/characterization was subpar, but I hesitate to put it on here, as I only got 1/3 of the way into it before being distracted, so it's a provisional.

Brandon Sanderson, Elantris - it just felt "off" in places, but not truly heinous or anything.

Brian Ruckley, Winterbirth - I'll be reviewing it in a few weeks, but it's not "bad" as much as it was "meh" or just felt "off" as well.

Dan Simmons, Olympos - it was lacking in the energy of Illium, felt overlong in places, and the Muslim Caliphate part was a bit out there.

But outside of the first one and perhaps second, these were just "flawed" books to me and nothing that would merit outright scorn.

[Caine]

Hated Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind too. I finally finished it, and it contains the kind of retrospective, melancholy overtones that I can't stand. Quit your whining already! Reminded me of Kay's Tigana, which I detested even more. Yup, I know I'm in the minority on these 2.

Interestingly enough, I actually enjoyed Cornwell's Warlord Chronicles which is also written in a first-person flashback, and unsurprisingly, also contains retrospective melancholy and some emotional angst. I guess all the battle scenes made up for it.