Five Worst Books in the Last Five Years

[aidan]

No thread like this would be complete without the mention of Robert Newcomb and any of his novels...

*Shudders*

[Werthead]

Viriconium by M. John Harrison

Self-indulgent wank. The guy can write, he just has nothing interesting to write about. It felt like he was trying to be Mervyn Peake or Gene Wolfe, but forgot that as well as having interesting prose those books also had decent stories and characters you really got into. Viriconium has neither of those things and is ultimately a hollow reading experience.

Keeping It Real by Justina Robson

Not badly written but Robson's central two characters are unbearable, self-obsessed, emo, whiny, selfish gits. Some of the ideas are good but the tone of the book is also off. It feels like it should be a knockabout comedy (rockstar elves!) but it's actually unrelentingly grim.

Crossroads of Twilight by Robert Jordan

Utter shite. The total plot advancement in this volume could have been handled in about 100 pages at the most and the plot synopsis on the back cover has so little to say about this book that it actually covers half the plot for the following volume as well. Whenever anyone says that Feast for Crows is GRRM's Crossroads of Twilight, berate them. To write a book this bad and pointless, you actually have to work at it (Knife of Dreams OTOH was far superior, and an enjoyable read).

[perspicacious]

I am very hesitant to reply here, not in small part because I see some books that were enjoyable to me on this list (Harrison, Herbert, Monette, Rothfuss, among others), but also because for me to list MY worst reads, that would in many cases be a very relative thing, since almost all the books I read I've vetted before purchasing them.

Dan Simmons, Olympos - it was lacking in the energy of Illium, felt overlong in places, and the Muslim Caliphate part was a bit out there.

But outside of the first one and perhaps second, these were just "flawed" books to me and nothing that would merit outright scorn.

Yeah, I was disappointed by Olympos. In the same way, I was disappointed by Simmons Hyperion sequels--the man knows how to start a great story, but I never like his endings.

[Larry.]

True, at least for his multi-volume works. The Terror ended okay for me, although it wasn't mind-blowing, I suppose...

[williamjm]

"The Elder Gods" by David & Leigh Eddings - I know they weren't exactly GRRM at their best, but the lack of effort that went into the writing of this novel was just pathetic and makes the Belgariad or even the Tamuli look like a work of literary genius by comparison. It probably has some of the laziest dialogue, world-building and characterisation I've read, and I've just remember some nominations for the "Worst Character Names" thread as well.

"Viriconium Nights" by M John Harrison. I actually like the other three Viriconium novels, unlike some people here, but some of the stories in this collection were just completely incomprehensible. No matter how good the prose is, I like to be able to understand the plot.

"Cities In Flight" by James Blish. In many ways this is a visionary work for the time it was written and there some great concepts in it and Blish handles the exposition well. However, he completely fails to deliver an interesting story or characterisation and I eventually got to a scene I felt was so stupid in the third book I had to stop reading.

"The Years of Rice and Salt" by Kim Stanley Robinson. It is an interesting premise for a book, but I found Robinson's style of writing infuriating (I particularly disliked the bits where he ended chapters by doing (IIRC) a summary of what happened in the next chapter). Also I didn't find much hint of an interesting plot or characters in the 100 pages I read.

"The Dream Archipelago" by Christopher Priest. Priest is highly recommended on here, but I'd have a similar complaint to Viriconium Nights, while the stories were certainly more comprehensible I often got to the end and wondered what the point of the story was. It also felt unsettlingly misogynistic at times, most of the stories seeming to revolve around poor foolish men being ruined by evil women.

I have to put in a dishonourable mention to "Crossroads of Twilight" as well for sheer plot inertia.

Personally I wouldn't put "The Da Vinci Code" on the list, even if it is technically worse written than some of the above books. It isn't a particularly good book, but it still offers some small amount of entertainment which is more than any of the above.

Charles Stross, Singularity Sky - the writing/characterization was subpar, but I hesitate to put it on here, as I only got 1/3 of the way into it before being distracted, so it's a provisional.

It doesn't really improve later on. It is odd that the writing/characterisation is so subpar, because Stross is capable of far better in some of his other books. IIRC this was written first out of his novels, which might explain it.

[Mossman]

1. Crossroads of Twilight- Wert said it better than I can.

2. The Redemption of Althalus- First 100 pages were intriguing, then it all went flat. Too many logical flaws, silly military decisions, bland secondary characters. Never finished it and never bothered with the Elder Gods books.

3. The Illearth War- Boring, boring, boring...

4-?? Brook's "Magic Kingdom" books

[Nichole]

I can't remember all of the titles or the authors, but whatever.

Those werewolf books written by Anne Rice's sister.

Damn those were horrible. They made no sense (not that a werewolf book could) and the prose just confused me.

A book about time travel by Michael Crighton.

A roommate gave me this one. In it a bunch of history students somehow travel to medievil times and gymnastics ensue.

Eldest by the Eragon guy.

Yep, it was worse than Eragon with a surprise ending that a ten year old could see coming.

Crossroads of Twilight by Robert Jordan.

You know Robert, I have stuck with you for many years hoping that one day my dedication would pay off with something actually happening in you damn series and then I read CoT. Fuck you.

[Freudas]

Judas Unchained - Peter Hamilton - To be fair, I hadn't read the prequel to this (pretty sure there is at least one?) but after reading this, I had no desire whatsoever to go back and do so. It was recommended by a friend that usually shares a similar taste in fiction.

The Blending series - Sharon Green - Recommended by a different friend, I actually managed to trudge the whole way through this series. It makes me cry for the trees that were pulped to print them on.

The Book of Words trilogy - J.V. Jones - I know this might be a slightly unpopular one, a lot of readers here seem to dig J.V. but I found the books to be way too formulaic and generic, they just bored the shit out of me. I had to force myself to finish reading these, which is unusual for me.

Deathstalker series - Simon Green - Pure drudgery.

Mindbend - Robin Cook - I'm not sure if this really belongs on this forum, but anyway, I'm not sure why I even have this novel (I know I didn't buy it, really not sure where it came from), but it is in with my softcovers collection and I read it a few months ago as I was going through the collection to find something to bring to work. Someone needs to tell this guy that just because he's a doctor, it doesn't mean he can write palatable medical/horror/fiction. It boggles my mind that he was ever a bestseller (or at least, it says so on the cover )

[Martin Silenus]

#1 The Redemption of Althalus by the Eddings. This could've been a decent short novel (shorten it by 500 pages!) in the hands of a better writer or editor. It was putrid. Still the worst fantasy novel I've ever read. Any of the main characters were interchangeable with any other. The silliest dialogue outside of 16-bit Engrish.

#2 Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. Such a disappointment. After American Gods -- which was alright, but not great -- I expected so much more from a sequel. This POS actually won awards? At least Gaiman had the decency to decline a Hugo nomination for it. Maybe it's just that Brit-humour doesn't do it for me anymore: Discworld is painfully unbearable.

#3 Naked Empire* by Tairy.

#4 Chainfire* by Tairy.

*WHY, for the love of God? I don't know. After Richard's noble rescue of the goat in The Pillars of Creation I just had to know: what could possibly happen next? Don't leave me hanging, Tairy! Richard finds an isolated community of dumbasses and pulls their heads from their orifices. Fight! Kill! Fuck! This is freedom. I am your Lord and Saviour. And then, and then... the Chinfire hits the fan.

#5: Don't want it to be The Deathly Hallows. We'll see. Don't want it to be To Green-Angel Tower, but come to think of it, very little has actually happened in Books 1 and 2 of MS&T.

[Maltaran]

Discworld is painfully unbearable.

This reminds me of another book for the list: Monstrous Regiment. The idea was decent (girl dresses as boy to join the army, turns out all the men in her unit are girls who've done the same), but the execution has horrible, and Pterry failed to raise a single laugh from me in the whole book.

[Werthead]

Judas Unchained - Peter Hamilton - To be fair, I hadn't read the prequel to this (pretty sure there is at least one?) but after reading this, I had no desire whatsoever to go back and do so. It was recommended by a friend that usually shares a similar taste in fiction.

Judas Unchained is actually the second half of an extremely long novel that was split in two during the writing process. Frankly, without reading Pandora's Star I'm surprised you had a clue what was going on. And it's not his best book either, let down by a rushed and poor conclusion. The Night's Dawn Trilogy is a much better work.

The Book of Words trilogy - J.V. Jones - I know this might be a slightly unpopular one, a lot of readers here seem to dig J.V. but I found the books to be way too formulaic and generic, they just bored the shit out of me. I had to force myself to finish reading these, which is unusual for me.

The Book of Words is okay, but it's somewhat YA in nature and very traditional. The Sword of Shadows sequel series is far, far better, much more adult and far less cliched.

[swedeheadchris]

You can tell The Simpsons Movie has taken off! I second Tairy (but what is it that makes me read them all--hell I'll probs buy Confessor too, knowing that I hate it?!) and Robert Newcomb.

I liked Eddings earlier stuff, but the rest...ugh. Laurell K. Hamilton's latest.

[Violanthe]

Laurell K. Hamilton's Danse Macabre:

I'm just curious how you can pick just one of Hamilton's books. So many of her novels are just awful anymore, what makes one worse than the rest?

[ThomasFoster]

I'm kinda at a disadvantage on this thread because I tend to give up on dodgy books fairly early on.

Like Ian Irvine's A Shadow on the Glass which I'd tried to get through before despite an beginning with an epic info-dump. Then there's a random sequence with a scholar who has uncovered some fatal truth about a history we don't actually care about and is being persecuted by the master of his college. I felt nothing for him because there was no consistancy of detail. Finally I got a far as a mini-quest. My problem wasn't that this quest was composed entirely (and I do mean entirely) of cliches. I read Eddings for God's sake, I can cope with cliches! I dropped the book at this point because Irvine didn't even present the cliche's fully. He just gave us enough information to know which cliche he was refering to then moved on to the next, presumably counting on us to fill in the full narrative and emotional weight of the events we just skipped over.

Then there was Good News, Bad News by David Wolstencroft. I don't normally read modern spy thrillers, but I was tempted by this one. I got as far as the third paragraph on page one, chapter one. Two men are tossing a coin. We don't yet know what depends on the outcome.

It was an ordinary coin. Worth ten ordinary British pence. . . [but t]he value of this particular monetary unit was more than anyone at the Royal Mint could imagine.

Of course, that wasn't what he meant. The value of the unit of currency was ten pence. The value of the metal disc that represented the unit of currency may have been greater than anyone at the Royal Mint imagined, but that wasn't what the author said.

I really struggled with Kept: a Victorian Myster because parts of it were excellent. Unfortunately the way the plot was going towards the end seemed to elevate to dire parts at the expence of the good bits, so I put it on temporary hold. For some reason I feel there's a huge psychological difference between putting a book down indefinitely but intending to come back to it, and discarding it entirely.

I finally had a stab at reading Michael Moore's Dude, Where's my country?. The less said the better.

All in all, a pretty good year if I've only got four books to complain about!

[Black Dow]

I am tempted to name Wizard's First Rule five times, but that would be cheating. In any event, it's certainly number one, and a goodly distance from number two. It was the singularly most poorly written book I've had the misfortune to read in my entire life. What's the famous quote..."Richard was bigger than most men. These men were bigger than Richard"?...that's an example of the quality of prose throughout the book, and what else really needs to be said?

For number two, The Eye of Heaven from David Keck. Incredibly dull, pointless, and worthy of the thoroughly bad reviews it has received nearly across the board. I actually bought this skunk in hardcover, which was not exactly one of my better investments.

Next is Rhapsody. Cheesy as hell.

A non-fantasy entry is Avenger from Frederick Forsythe. I have greatly enjoyed some of his earlier works, but he's obviously run out of good ideas- or, perhaps, rushed to meet a deadline. Anyway, this one stunk out the house.

Finally, an entry from Salvatore, and I can't even remember the name of it, though I read it only a few months ago. It was about an orc invasion. When reading Salvatore, I'm not expecting a literary masterpiece. I am, though, expecting a fun read, and this one wasn't even that.

[williamjm]

2. The Redemption of Althalus- First 100 pages were intriguing, then it all went flat. Too many logical flaws, silly military decisions, bland secondary characters. Never finished it and never bothered with the Elder Gods books.

You were wise not to finish it, even though the rest of the book was really quite poor, the ending just went to a new level of awfulness.

Like Ian Irvine's A Shadow on the Glass which I'd tried to get through before despite an beginning with an epic info-dump.

It was quite a tedious book, which was a shame because the world-building was reasonably original and I thought it had potential to be much better than it was.

[ThomasFoster]

It was quite a tedious book, which was a shame because the world-building was reasonably original and I thought it had potential to be much better than it was.

To be honest I thought the same, so I kept trying. Then I finally mate it past the beginning and it just got worse, so I gave up. There's something particularly frustrating about wasted potential.

[The Wolf Maid]

No thread like this would be complete without the mention of Robert Newcomb and any of his novels...

*Shudders*

Or that Eng guy. Or Stanek.

[Hereward]

Anyone who said Donaldson has now been put on the list.

I have the happy knack of abandoning crap books early and then, thanks to the advancing years, forgetting all details about them. An exception to this is Tom Lloyd's Stormcaller, so it must have been really bad.

[Isis]

I don't often read books that suck. If they are lucky enough to make it into my hand they very rarely get finished. Least satisfying book read in the past few years: The Last Light of the Sun (and probably bk one of the Fionavar trilogy too). I only got all the way through it cos it was reasonably short.