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swedeheadchris

Goodkind XXVII: Welcome to the Yeard Reich

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So does this mean that we're not commenting on our 'friends' posts anymore? Yesterday, he put up a speech of Richard-like proportions that's just begging to be torn into.

(Edited for spelling; so WLU doesn't turn against my posts. :) )

ETA - I just noticed that every time I see the word 'Terry' now, my brain automatically changes it to read as 'Tairy.' I thought that was odd. Is anybody else doing this?

I post on the TG.net boards, and every post I make about Tairy I have to edit as to not invoke the wrath of Mystar for naming his idol a little gay pixie.

And I keep finding myself misspelling Mystar as Myshkin.

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Oh...THAT reference. I knew that. Didn't know we were supposed to comment on it though. Whatever. Something like "ZARK!" would have been a more interesting referecnce, if not exactly appropriate to what you were trying to do.

See, you don't really want to be that guy, do you? :P

Does anyone else hear anything? I could swear it's almost like someone's talking, but really quietly. Man that's annoying!

I kid Jaxom. Your Zark reference intrigued me sufficiently to wiki-it. Then I found out what an abortion the page was, so I gutted it. Wikipedia thanks you, though doubtless several of the contributors do not.

So does this mean that we're not commenting on our 'friends' posts anymore? Yesterday, he put up a speech of Richard-like proportions that's just begging to be torn into.

I think that posts can be pasted for discussion, particularly if they are from an anonymous source. Dissection for logical continuity strikes me as OK, though personal attacks are not. Of course, I'm biased...

Might want to ask Wert or Mormont.

(Edited for spelling; so WLU doesn't turn against my posts. :) )

Your fear makes my thing rise. By thing, I mean penis. And nipples.

ETA - I just noticed that every time I see the word 'Terry' now, my brain automatically changes it to read as 'Tairy.' I thought that was odd. Is anybody else doing this?

Just you freakshow :P

Where the hell are my pants?

I seem to ask that question far too often.

It strikes me that any day where you spend part of it wondering where your pants are, must be a good day. Congratualtions.

I post on the TG.net boards, and every post I make about Tairy I have to edit as to not invoke the wrath of Mystar for naming his idol a little gay pixie.

I commend your self restraint, I don't think I could manage it.

And I keep finding myself misspelling Mystar as Myshkin.

...

You might want to edit that post man. Myshkin's a God and he might go David Bowie on your ass. Meaning he'd glitter up your wardrobe and possibly make you a bit gayer. Which could be fine, depending on what you want. Famed sex researcher and indiscriminate anything-fucker Alfred Kinsey thought everyone was a little bit gay. Good movie.

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I kid Jaxom. Your Zark reference intrigued me sufficiently to wiki-it. Then I found out what an abortion the page was, so I gutted it. Wikipedia thanks you, though doubtless several of the contributors do not.

What were you looking at in Wiki???

Needless to say, I was more referring to "zark!" as a sometimes used sound effect for Cyclops' eye beams...but I digress...

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Yup, that's the page. It was a whole lot fuller before I got to it. I assumed you meant the fictional explitive from HHGTTG.

Needless to say, I was more referring to "zark!" as a sometimes used sound effect for Cyclops' eye beams...but I digress...

Oh, well I'm not THAT much of a comic geek. I judge you, sir. Were I a worse person, I would resort to name-calling.

Zark? Really? I always thought Cyclops was pretty lame anyway. Havok is the way to go, anyone who can discharge plasma really kicks ass.

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Zark? Really? I always thought Cyclops was pretty lame anyway. Havok is the way to go, anyone who can discharge plasma really kicks ass.
:agree: *hates Cyclops* Always was a Jubilee and Gambit fan though, so maybe I don't have much to stand on.

I also always got an evil little thrill when Mr. Sinister got his hands on Scott and Jean.

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:agree: *hates Cyclops* Always was a Jubilee and Gambit fan though, so maybe I don't have much to stand on.

I also always got an evil little thrill when Mr. Sinister got his hands on Scott and Jean.

Why do I suddenly suspect you're going to have a Mistress Denna costume for Halloween...?

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(indicating the person is too stupid to figure out the difference between to/too/two, their/there/they're, who's/whose or...

...You know who's greatness I miss?

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(indicating the person is too stupid to figure out the difference between to/too/two, their/there/they're, who's/whose or...

...You know who's greatness I miss?

I hate you so much. Why would you point out another lemming's hypocrisy? That's just mean. My sole defense is that I know the difference when I think about it. Which doesn't say much for my posts these days.

It's even worse because I asked for non-moral clarity regards who's/whose a couple threads back. And received it. And apparently it didn't stick.

:agree: *hates Cyclops* Always was a Jubilee and Gambit fan though, so maybe I don't have much to stand on.

Gambit was pretty cool, I mean, who wouldn't want the ability to blow shit up just by touching/throwing it? Though Spider Man (pre-movie) was always my fav. And for some reason, Moon Knight. At one time, I had the entire set of "The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe" as well as all the supplements. Jubilee? LAME. Also applies to Iron Man, though I don't really have a reason, I just think he sucks. Who's with me?

Awesome:

Spider Man

Wolverine

Adam Warlock

Vision

Magneto

Colossus

Nightcrawler

Wen-DI-go!

Silver Surfer

Thanos

No opinion:

Prowler

Dr. Doom

The entire Fantastic Four

The Hulk

Daredevil

Thor

Lame:

Wonder Man

Hawkeye

Iceman (I don't care if he's omega-level, LAME)

Angel (all incarnations)

Electro

Captain America

Dr. Strange

Sandman

Stiltman

I also always got an evil little thrill when Mr. Sinister got his hands on Scott and Jean.

I am SOOOOOOO not surprised. I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise.

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Gambit was pretty cool, I mean, who wouldn't want the ability to blow shit up just by touching/throwing it? Though Spider Man (pre-movie) was always my fav.
Ewwwww... Not a Spidey fan.

And for some reason, Moon Knight.
Who?

At one time, I had the entire set of "The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe" as well as all the supplements.
I just colledted Fleer and other sorts of cards.
Jubilee? LAME.
She was a kid, I was a kid. She made fireworks. How cool is that?

Also applies to Iron Man, though I don't really have a reason, I just think he sucks. Who's with me?
I at least can agree with you there.

Awesome:

Spider Man

Wolverine

Adam Warlock

Vision

Magneto

Colossus

Nightcrawler

Wen-DI-go!

Silver Surfer

Thanos

No opinion:

Prowler

Dr. Doom

The entire Fantastic Four

The Hulk

Daredevil

Thor

Lame:

Wonder Man

Hawkeye

Iceman (I don't care if he's omega-level, LAME)

Angel (all incarnations)

Electro

Captain America

Dr. Strange

Sandman

Stiltman

I agree on your 'lame' list.

I am SOOOOOOO not surprised. I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not surprise.
Heh. Come on, Scott and Jean are laaaaaaaame. Lamer than your 'lame list', lame.

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Min, what a beautiful story! My favorite line was this one:

"I ask the questions round here," said Richard sternly, and tried to think of some questions to ask.

I see Mme is no longer suffering from the "Jaxom Curse" since people are listening to his wisdom over the wickedness of the double post when I've been decrying it for a while now. I guess I've just still got the "Jaxom Curse". Bastards. :P

While I agree with the points Mme. made, I still refuse to acknowledge him until he agrees to bring back the Ayn Rand avatar.

"Bamf" is the noise that Nightcrawler makes when he teleports. He's also a purplish-bluish colour, which I tried to capture with my choice of font colour. And thank you for asking :thumbsup:

You have it all wrong, "Bamf" stands for "Bad Ass Mother Fucker".

And I keep finding myself misspelling Mystar as Myshkin.

Stop that!

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I guess I'll link to this, although really it doesn't deserve any commentary, as it's just someone frustrated with the cycle, I suppose. After all, there's that "Reason's Light" website if some of you want some real ammo, but I'm not going to bother finding the URL for that one on a Friday night :P

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I guess I'll link to this, although really it doesn't deserve any commentary, as it's just someone frustrated with the cycle, I suppose. After all, there's that "Reason's Light" website if some of you want some real ammo, but I'm not going to bother finding the URL for that one on a Friday night tongue.gif

We handled the constant rapes, the interminable hentai discussions, the blathering on about celery, goats, and chickens. We weathered the Quotes of the Day and came through it with a fierce, almost patriotic pride. We even duelled Mystar, mano a crowdofgoodkindhaterso in one of the epic battles since the great Ninja/Pirate/Robot War of '98. And what do we get for making the Internet safe for freedom and democracy?

A bloody link to the bloody Terry Goodkind forum? What the hell is wrong with you, man?

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No opinion:

<snip>

The entire Fantastic Four

Pre-movies I'd agree with you. Post-movie, they fall squarely to Lame status. In no small part because most of the first movie (I'll eat chicken meat before paying money to see the second) consist of them solving problems they caused in the first place but also because seeing Ioan Gruffudd forced to try and talk with an American accent is just painful.

Lame:

Captain America

Nahh, I liked him. Of course, I think the 'hit you over the head with the Message' stunt they pulled recently was just a tad lame (in part because it's a comic book which means nobody stays dead) but beforehand he wasn't bad.

To pretend that this has some relevance to Lemmingness, who's the most celerious comic book character of all time? I nominate a one-off character whose name I can't remember from Calvin and Hobbes (from a comic book Calvin was reading) based on the fact that she blew a melon-sized hole in another character's spine.

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Just dropping by to say that Min, that was probably the best GK parody ever. Ahahahahaha. "Shaker of Booty," Oh God. :lmao:

DF, that was a pretty tempting link, but no, I'm a changed woman, I will restrain myself.

I also want to say that Scott/Cyclops rock. In fact I'm married to him in the astral plane. :P

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*tapes sign that says "Expect no mercy from the squirrels" to his computer*

Something has to be said for having coffin-shaped doors for entering a house, though...

And considering the interviewer and her reputation online...this was just too much not to rehash (as I presume someone has linked to this before)!

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*tapes sign that says "Expect no mercy from the squirrels" to his computer*

Two things:

The Sword of Truth series is epic high fantasy. The central heroes, Richard Cypher and Mother Confessor Kahlan, strive to preserve their world from evil at any cost. In Goodkind's cosmology, heroes and villains alike have rounded personalities and believable motivations.

What book was she reading?

I asked Goodkind if he was surprised by the reception his writing has received so far. After a moment's thought, he shook his head. "I visualize the success of things working the way I want them to work, like in sports when you visualize where you want the ball to go. So on one level when it really happens, part of me is thrilled and astonished. Another part is kind of unimpressed because I expected it of myself."

Does anyone actually believe that Tairy has ever played any sport in his entire life?

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In all fairness (almost chokes on saying this), WFR had only just been released and it was hard to detect then (although later books revealed the fullness of the emerging Objectivist claptrap bent that Goodkind was giving this) that it was anything other than a standard epic fantasy opener.

As for Goodkind playing sports, he's the authorial version of Brian Boitano, didn't you know? Paints, carves, makes cabinets and coffin-shaped doors, speeds, and is up for the Nobel Prize for Literature, Science, Peace, Economics, and Fecaology, I believe...

Edited by Dylanfanatic

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In Goodkind's cosmology, heroes and villains alike have rounded personalities and believable motivations.

Really?

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This is a good one. The first paragraph lends itself to an ambiguous interpretation. "Be relentless" and "expect no mercy". Both very fitting.

I think it's also safe to say that Terry's agent is a hack:

Galen, one of the genre's most influential agents quickly wrote back, "I feel a ripple of history in the making. Send me your book."

A ripple of history in the making. Sig-worthy.

At forty seven, Goodkind is a tall, intense man with a long pony tail and a ready sense of humor.

Ready to finally start working?

A native of Omaha, Nebraska, Goodkind first came to Maine with a friend after graduating from high school. "I felt like I'd been misplaced in the cosmos and I belonged in Maine," Goodkind said, describing his instant love for the state. "After that, I came back every year. Everyone said, 'Well, when you retire you can move there.' But I said, 'Why should I live my whole life where I don't want to be.'" Twelve years ago he and his wife Jeri purchased four wooded acres on MDI and settled in to stay.

Ok, I'm not native to the great États-Unis, but how big a difference is there between Nebraska and Maine? It sounds like he moved from Mongolia to Hawaii or something. And I think "Everyone" was trying to postpone the inevitable for as long as humanly possible. "When you retire, Terry. Not before."

Our interview began with a guided tour of their spacious, superinsulated home which Goodkind, an artist, former cabinet maker, and experienced craftsman, designed and built. Custom features include a handsome oak-paneled library, a coffin-shaped door with inset lighting ("I got tired of making rectangular doors"), and what is probably the world's only all-Corian kitchen. When he called DuPont, the maker of Corian, for advice on how to fashion cabinet doors from the heavy, stone-like material, he was told it couldn't be done. He proved that it could. One of the larger doors weighs sixty five pounds, but it opens smoothly on multiple hinges and looks great. In short, the entire house speaks of a man determined to manifest his inner vision.

Dude. When your inner vision is an all-Corian kitchen... And what's with the coffin door? Dracula fetish?

And isn't a point of Objectivist design and architechture that every detail must serve a purpose? That there is nothing superfluous or strictly ornamental about it? What's so fucking functional about an entire kitchen made from Corian?

To achieve the desired monolithic effect, he used curved panels of granite patterned Formica, hand painting every exposed edge to give the appearance of seamless stone. The same meticulous skill went into the decorative border that frames the map in his books. The stippled vine pattern took 150 hours, a task he did willingly so that it would be done to his own satisfaction.

Cause with a map like that, you sure as hell need an impressive decorative border.

Drawing map = 2 minutes

Drawing stippled vine pattern = 150 hours

Getting paid by the hour by the publisher = priceless (well, not really, but you know)

Yet all of this--the paintings, the tools, the house building (at last relinquished to contractors as an addition is added)--seem like artifacts of his progress madness, skins shed on his way to his current vocation.

"I don't think I could have written what I did any earlier," said Goodkind. "I had to live this long, have the experiences I've had, to create what I do. I knew I wanted to write for years, but I had to be ready so I wouldn't blow it. The move to Maine was the final step."

Uh, yeah. And what about Maine made moving there the final step? Higher chicken frequency?

In spite of his discouragement at school, however, he read novels secretly at the public library, away from judgmental eyes.

And what "novels" would that be, Terry? That you'd have to read where no "judgemental eyes" could see you? Fanny Hill? Lady Chatterley's Lover? Kama Sutra? Letters from prison?

"I would put myself to sleep at night listening to their stories, what their dilemmas were...

And the fact that they had this effect on you led you to believe they would make for interesting fantasy books. Flawless logic there, Terry.

He attributes the success of his work in part to the fact that he writes from a strong moral center (Maine) and a sense of outrage against modern injustice sports.

"I wasn't writing to get published, or for the money

Notice the past tense there, guys.

Goodkind is currently visualizing himself as the number one fantasy (really?) author in America (while furiously masturbating). Given his history to date, it doesn't seem such a far-fetched goal.
Edited by Erzulie the Unruly

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This article is obviously a lie.

Terry does not write fantasy.

He is not a fantasy author.

He is a novelist.

And as such, he is infinitely better than the number one fantasy author in america. Who copied off him.

Screw Robert Jordan, and Christopher Tolkein. And that George guy sucks, who does he think he is?

All they are doing is wierdo cultural diversity.

As such, the writer of that interview is just a commie from the Westeros boards.

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