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swedeheadchris

Goodkind XXVII: Welcome to the Yeard Reich

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Are you calling His Great Yeardliness gay?

Anyway, I don't read Terry for escapism. I read it to imagine a world that is how this world should be, how this world should work. Escapism sucks, dude.

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Since you wanted a link to the Flewelling, here ya go...

You'll have to read the other March entries that follow after that to see the OCDness on display.

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Nothing directly related to the threads. But I was watching either Animal Planet, Discovery Channel, or some other educational TV station and they were talking about how Submarines used SONAR to navigate and how creatures in the animal kingdom used the similar process of echolocation. When I was watching the show I said to myself "Hmmmm, how would Terry Goodkind use echolocation?"

See, that makes much more sense then. If I'd know that ahead of time, I'd've chuckled more, Zap. :P

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Sorry if this is off topic, but I just wanted to say the picture of the Black Cat is very well done, you have talent! <talking to Zap>

:unsure:

Um, I don't know how to break this to you, but whatever picture you saw, I don't think it was mine. You see, the primary identifying characteristic of all my drawings is their immense suckitude. Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure I've never drawn a cat, black or otherwise.

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:unsure:

Um, I don't know how to break this to you, but whatever picture you saw, I don't think it was mine. You see, the primary identifying characteristic of all my drawings is their immense suckitude. Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure I've never drawn a cat, black or otherwise.

I think that was actually drawn by Terry Goodkind. Did you know he's also an accomplished artist? His work is about important human themes.

Cool Villains:

Apocalypse

Magneto

Holocaust

Mr. Sinister

Venom

Lame Villains:

Dr. Doom

Juggernaut

Galactus (sorry)

Green Goblin

The Lizard

Mysterio

Rhino

Electro (notice a preponderance of Spiderman villains here?)

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You know, I had a really long diatribe ready to go. But I had to delete it. I realized that the TG.netters were making my thing rise and there's nary an eight year old to kick.

Let it be guys. They don't respect anyone or their opinions unless they're of a same mindset as them. GAH. I hate this.

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I don't care what anyone says, Cyclops is awesome.

Enjoy my latest artistic masterpieces:

Page 1

Page 2

Click on the pictures to get the full size, otherwise the text will be hard to read.

Nice one, Zap, I didn't know you have a devart account. XD

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Cool Villains:

Apocalypse

Magneto

Holocaust

Mr. Sinister

Venom

Lame Villains:

Dr. Doom

Juggernaut

Galactus (sorry)

Green Goblin

The Lizard

Mysterio

Rhino

Electro

Wow. Totally agree with this list. :thumbsup:

(notice a preponderance of Spiderman villains here?)
#2 reason why Spidey sucks is definitely the villains.

WLU,

Depends on the kink, doesn't it? Bondage, S&M, piss, feet, I'm cool with them. Cosplay? Bukkake? Car exhaust? I don't get it.
Ok, good point. I suppose when I think of kink, I think of a narrow set of topics that are typically considered 'kink' within my circles. And those things you 'don't get' I don't either. Or pissing, actually. I think that's pretty nasty, myself.

Zap, awesome drawings. :P Great effect, adding the 'Fear the Yeard' t-shirt. :thumbsup:

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Zap, awesome drawings. :P Great effect, adding the 'Fear the Yeard' t-shirt. :thumbsup:

We should have a shirt like that. "Fear the Yeard. Do not Feed it." Then on the bottom would be the realease date for Confessor.

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We should have a shirt like that. "Fear the Yeard. Do not Feed it." Then on the bottom would be the realease date for Confessor.

I can't find any "Fear the Yeard" T-shirts, but I did find these!

And for the balding Yeard fan, take a look at these.

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I can't find any "Fear the Yeard" T-shirts, but I did find these!

And for the balding Yeard fan, take a look at these.

Is a bald yeard still a yeard, I mean if you lose your hair aren't you something less of a man. Ol' Dick would never lose his hair, I mean that would be like admititing defeat to nature.

Now we know why Mystar is such a rampant fnatard he is just trying to protect his income source. Of course someone with such an obvious high level of intelect would never really like the yeard and his ilk, he is just feeding off of them and most likely trying to get Tairy's complete trust to take him down.

Edited by Higravity

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:unsure:

Um, I don't know how to break this to you, but whatever picture you saw, I don't think it was mine. You see, the primary identifying characteristic of all my drawings is their immense suckitude. Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure I've never drawn a cat, black or otherwise.

Ahh, well I get lost easy it seems. Sorry for the trouble!

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I guess I'll link to this, although really it doesn't deserve any commentary, as it's just someone frustrated with the cycle, I suppose. After all, there's that "Reason's Light" website if some of you want some real ammo, but I'm not going to bother finding the URL for that one on a Friday night :P

It's about time we saw something resembling a sense of humor out of those people. I mean, it missed the mark, but it was still a good first attempt. Maybe next time they'll get it right.

I'd also like to add that Pita handled himself admirably.

I mean, I enjoy reading Tairy (now you people hate me) but it does not mean that I don't enjoy making fun of the moron for what he says outside of the books.

Nah, we don't hate you. You're just young. After all, I enjoyed these books too when I was 18. I grew out of it, and so will you.

Pick a speech, oh un-yearded yet yeasty one and we can all snark (or intelligently critique) as we please. Remember, we're lemmings and need to be shown the cliff before we can leap.

Why bother when we've got an equally impressive speech from out 'friend' to dissect? Maybe I'll dig into it if I have time later.

(EDIT: I just saw that Pita has already taken care of this one as well. It's got to sting to get your ass handed to you by a 15 year old. Nice work, Pita. :thumbsup: )

And one last thing... As I was making my way through Doctor Zhivago this weekend, I, of course, noticed that there was a passing similarity to life under the Soviets as to that under the IO. I was going to let it pass as coincidence. Until I came across this:

Dressed in his rags and accompanied everywhere by the boy, the tall, gaunt doctor looked like a peasant 'seeker after truth' and his companion like a patient, blindly devoted and obedient disciple.

And I found this one but a few minutes ago:

Thus she became Yury's third wife, though he was not divorced form the first, and they did not register their marriage.

Will these time travelling badits stop at nothing to try and discredit the Yeard? This one went back at least 36 years, the scoundrel!

Edited by Muttering Bill

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I think that was actually drawn by Terry Goodkind. Did you know he's also an accomplished artist? His work is about important human themes.

Cool Villains:

Apocalypse (giant 'A' on his belt, what's with the elbow-cords? Lame.)

Magneto

Holocaust

Mr. Sinister (lame cape)

Venom

Lame Villains:

Dr. Doom (totally)

Juggernaut (WHAT? Invulnerable? Superhuman strength? Powered by the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak? Wrong.)

Galactus (sorry) (wrong! He eats worlds!)

Green Goblin (meh)

The Lizard (totally)

Mysterio (totally LAME)

Rhino (COME ON MARVEL, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? HOW DOES HE POOP?)

Electro (notice a preponderance of Spiderman villains here?)

I've provided my comments (Electro - cool powers, LAME costume; what, could he not grow a beard as a youth?), I'm allowed to judge comic-book super villains by their costumes, thank you very much.

Spider-Man needs somewhat lame villains, he's got cool fighting powers but doesn't really have what it takes to go toe-to-toe with the big guys, and doesn't reliably belong to a team.

WLU, Ok, good point. I suppose when I think of kink, I think of a narrow set of topics that are typically considered 'kink' within my circles. And those things you 'don't get' I don't either. Or pissing, actually. I think that's pretty nasty, myself.

One of these days you're going to have to disclose a specific list of kinks, the curiosity is killing me.

Pee is sterile. You can drink it. The same does not go for poop.

I can't find any "Fear the Yeard" T-shirts, but I did find these!

And for the balding Yeard fan, take a look at these.

Those are some real abortions of clothing there. The font is so convoluted you can barely read it. And I loved the frilly shirt, for pirate dress-up day!

I might ask for a Fear the Yeard t-shirt for my birthday.

Is a bald yeard still a yeard, I mean if you lose your hair aren't you something less of a man. Ol' Dick would never lose his hair, I mean that would be like admititing defeat to nature.

If you look at Yeardii's pictures on wikipedia, he's thinning pretty badly on top. I see scalp.

Now we know why Mystar is such a rampant fnatard he is just trying to protect his income source. Of course someone with such an obvious high level of intelect would never really like the yeard and his ilk, he is just feeding off of them and most likely trying to get Tairy's complete trust to take him down.

Bad double-eyed one! No personal attacks!

Almost Donkey Raper of Truth? Is that new?

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I might ask for a Fear the Yeard t-shirt for my birthday.

If you look at Yeardii's pictures on wikipedia, he's thinning pretty badly on top. I see scalp.

Bad double-eyed one! No personal attacks!

Almost Donkey Raper of Truth? Is that new?

No attack just admiration.

It is not new I just recently let it rise up inside of me.

And now for you enjoyment a bland exchange in a generic place called Midland.

Insurance Salesman of Truth

C: = Customer

I: = Insurance Salesman of Truth

I: So as you can see with two armies raping and killing across the lands you will really need insurance one way or the other. I mean your daughters will be someone’s toy sooner or later but if you fit her with a chastity belt it might increase her chances of having someone thinking she has celery and not killing her out of frustration. Also it will lower your rate on your abortion clause of your policy. If you act now I’ll sell you the chastity belts for cheap!

C: Alright let’s do it, even though I’ll probably be moving my family away from this war ridden area as it seems no matter who wins I get fucked over.

I: Nonsense, with this new policy I am offering you can hedge your bet on who wins by guessing which faction will be the one to slaughter you and your fellow villagers for nothing more than sitting the battle out.

C: I can collect money for the death, pain, and suffering of my family and fellow man?

I: It’s the Midland way to exploit your neighbors for profit. You have to think of you unless you want to sign up for the profit sharing policy that some of your neighbor agreed to that way you all get to enjoy the gang rape benefits.

C: Look I’ll do whatever is the cheapest I am really just trying to survive in this war torn area I don’t care what army of philosophy wins out I just want to not have my family slaughtered even if it gets me money.

I: Careful there my friend you are starting to sound quite the lemming. Don’t look at it as losing your family, look at as making money, maybe. After all selfishness is the only true virtue.

C: You are starting to freak me out and you lack of empathy or willingness to realize that you aren’t some kind of star is making my stomach turn.

I: You need to realize that the “Searcher of Truth†is the only one who knows what is morally right for us all and the sooner you accept that the sooner your fate will be determined. Either you can resist and be killed and your lands salted or you can join the yeardites and if you survive being left leaderless and fighting naked in the freezing cold, maybe you could be turned into a plot device filled with straw to serve a purpose greater than yourself and if you are lucky you might even taste your own balls.

C: Let me get this right, you are saying that no matter what I do my wife and children are as good as dead no matter which side I choose and since I am not the “Seacher of Truth†I could be killed at anytime for any reason, filled with straw or not, and the best I can hope for is to be turned into a cheap plot device and made to eat my own testicles? How much do I stand to make off of all this sickening convoluted mess?

I: That really depends on you, I’ll write up your best chances to see cash money.

C: That sounds great I can’t believe how much better I feel about this. Wait why am I agreeing to this and why do I have the urge to start collecting ears?

I: Sounds like you have been selected to be the next Deus ex Machina stuffed with straw, it’s nothing I put in your tea.

C: Great here is a big old pile of money I am off to live my life.

I: Damn I forgot to sell him volcano insurance too. Oh well people are stupid I’ll get him next time.

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A couple of statements from one of our other 'friends.'

Commenting on SilverStar's mildly comical list:

Damn. I was hoping for a bigger reaction... back to the drawing board...

In response to Myshkin:

And apparently thinks that his, or any of his cohorts, opinions matter to us.

:bs:

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...

People there think I'm Myshkin.

And it's scaring me.

Anyway, I'm beginning to get the feeling that some of the people there can actually have reasoned and intellegent debates...

Do I need to kick a girl in the jaw now? Kill peace protestors?

Something?

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...

People there think I'm Myshkin.

And it's scaring me.

Anyway, I'm beginning to get the feeling that some of the people there can actually have reasoned and intellegent debates...

Do I need to kick a girl in the jaw now? Kill peace protestors?

Something?

Like most of the world's problem this one is solved with alcohol intake, make sure you get drunk, i recommend vodka and beer, then everything will become clear.

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