Larry. Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 Lumber mill, huh? Don't tempt me to alter MP's The Lumberjack song for Goodkind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted December 31, 2005 Author Share Posted December 31, 2005 I'm a fantasy hack and I'm okay I sleep all night and write bollocks all day I cut down trees and read Ayn Rand And fatuously quote that which I don't understand (chorus) He's a fantasy hack and he's okay He sleeps all night and writes bollocks all day I cut down trees, worldbuilding is not my forte My favourite film is actually Pret-a-porte! (chorus) He's a fantasy hack and he's okay He sleeps all night and writes bollocks all day And so forth... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 Thank God there weren't any crossdressing references there! Just the thought of Goodkind in suspenders and a bra would be enough to induce vomiting, yes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted December 31, 2005 Author Share Posted December 31, 2005 It was on there but lacked any SoT, Ayn Rand or fantasy literature references, so I removed it. It was just wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 Indeed. And now I fear someone who knows how will Photoshop a cover of Goodkind's head onto the Lumberjack. Oh well, it could be worse. Like that Chippendale's parody pic I have of Goodkind and Jordan... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted December 31, 2005 Author Share Posted December 31, 2005 Indeed. And now I fear someone who knows how will Photoshop a cover of Goodkind's head onto the Lumberjack. Oh well, it could be worse. Like that Chippendale's parody pic I have of Goodkind and Jordan... (vomits!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contra Rose Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 I'm a fantasy hack and I'm okay I sleep all night and write bollocks all day I cut down trees and read Ayn Rand And fatuously quote that which I don't understand (chorus) He's a fantasy hack and he's okay He sleeps all night and writes bollocks all day I cut down trees, worldbuilding is not my forte My favourite film is actually Pret-a-porte! (chorus) He's a fantasy hack and he's okay He sleeps all night and writes bollocks all day And so forth... Werthead, you are a fucking Poet! Just out of interest, are there any other authors, Fantasy or otherwise, that have reached Terry Goodkind's level of insanity? Any other writer on Earth think they are the greatest thing in the universe? What would Terry Goodkind do? And while I think on that...I'll end here And here we go... To be sung to "What would Brian Boitano Do? What would Terry Goodkind do If he was here right now, He'd make a plan And he'd follow through, That's what Terry Goodkind'd do. When Terry Goodkind was in the woods, Scraping off tree bark while looking bold, He shot two pinko commies and did a triple somersault, While wearing a blind fold. When Terry Goodkind was in the Alps, Fighting the Soviet Bear, He used his magical fire breath, And saved the capitalists fair. So what would Terry Goodkind do If he were here today, I'm sure he'd kick a liberal ass or two, That's what Terry Goodkind'd do. I want this SoT out of me, It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y. And I just want the Commies To stop fighting everyone So then I'll be an Objectivist, too, Cuz that's what Terry Goodkind would do. And what would Terry Goodkind do, He'd call all the kids in town, And tell them to unite for truth That's what Terry Goodkind would do. When Terry Goodkind copied WoT time after time To the year 3010, He wrote volume number twenty-nine And bored the human race again And when Terry Goodkind finishes SoT, He'll be just like Robert Jordan too! Cuz Terry Goodkind doesn't take shit from an-y-body So lets all get together, And unite to recite SoT And we'll save capitalism and Ayn Rand too, Cuz that's what Terry Goodkind'd do. And we'll save capitalism and Ayn Rand too, Cuz that's what Terry Goodkind'd dooooooo, That's what Terry Goodkind'd do. As modified from a post I made here. Bwahahaha another fucking poet! very funny! I'm gonna try and imagine 50 Cent rapping this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted December 31, 2005 Author Share Posted December 31, 2005 L. Ron Hubbard did when he was still alive (see another thread dedicated to the topic), but since he's passed on I think Goodkind rules from his throne of mediocrity and self-delusion alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 I just pray there isn't a religion started based on his 'teachings' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contra Rose Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 I just pray there isn't a religion started based on his 'teachings' And I pray that IF, somehow, incredibly, against-all-odds, there is a religion, then no delusional Hollywood 'star' starts sprouting some gibberish on post-natal depression, gets young girls pregnant, makes that young girl a follower of same crackpot religion... Oooh... scary thought... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted December 31, 2005 Author Share Posted December 31, 2005 To be inducted into it, young boys are forced to strip naked and run around in the snow whilst Goodkind is flagellated by a dominatrix. The rite of initiation is completed by going out for pizza and massacring liberals. The religion is called, "Goodkindology". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contra Rose Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 To be inducted into it, young boys are forced to strip naked and run around in the snow whilst Goodkind is flagellated by a dominatrix. The rite of initiation is completed by going out for pizza and massacring liberals. The religion is called, "Goodkindology". Not that i'm expecting an answer to this, but... What the hell is Goodkind's obsession with little naked boys anyway? I never read more then the first 100 pages of Wizards First Rul anyway (up to that point where Darken Rahl has the conversation with his general who likes to make things 'Squirm') I got so sickened with it I threw it in the bin on my way to University. Can anyone explain because I've heard alot about this? Is he just a plain sicko or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry. Posted December 31, 2005 Share Posted December 31, 2005 I think he's just plain sicko...and he's like Ayn Rand with a smaller penis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jagged Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Just out of interest, are there any other authors, Fantasy or otherwise, that have reached Terry Goodkind's level of insanity? Any other writer on Earth think they are the greatest thing in the universe? Anne Coulter- she has books out so she quilifyies. Bill O'Reily-same thing Al Frankton-to a lesser extent that the two above. Note: Goodkind trumps them all by a good margin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoP Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 So I was searching around for a few laughs and came across another Goodkind board, one that does allow debate. I stumbled across this (admittedly long) thread - so...much...hypocrisy. If you look past the fact that the majority ofpeople had their heads firmly wedged up their ideological arses and missed the valid points made against the pro-Goodkind line, the level of "pot calling the kettle black" was astounding. The number of people that came out with outright insults at the percieved slight against Goodkinds honour whilst passing off lines like "ass was kicked" as throwaway humour was breathtaking. I guess such an insular, arrogant author (in that he seems totally unwilling to even respect opinions that differ from his own) would attract such an insular, arrogant crowd... Oh, does anyone else find it funny that the whole premise of that linked thread was around a Goodkind quote that people from the USA have the inalienable right to speak out against the government, but that on the Goodkind board that is the main focus of this thread, anything that diverges from Goodkind's world view is censored? [edit]Forgot to mention, it was interesting that when it was only one person dissenting, Goodkind was more than willing to get his loyal henchman to pass along rude, condescending messages and support the thugs carrying out this poster's character assassination, but when a few more people showed up (and showed far more prowess at debate than the idealogues of that board) narry a word was to be heard from good old Terry.[/edit] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahimsa Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 So I was searching around for a few laughs and came across another Goodkind board, one that does allow debate. I stumbled across this (admittedly long) thread - so...much...hypocrisy. If you look past the fact that the majority ofpeople had their heads firmly wedged up their ideological arses and missed the valid points made against the pro-Goodkind line, the level of "pot calling the kettle black" was astounding. The number of people that came out with outright insults at the percieved slight against Goodkinds honour whilst passing off lines like "ass was kicked" as throwaway humour was breathtaking. I guess such an insular, arrogant author (in that he seems totally unwilling to even respect opinions that differ from his own) would attract such an insular, arrogant crowd... Oh, does anyone else find it funny that the whole premise of that linked thread was around a Goodkind quote that people from the USA have the inalienable right to speak out against the government, but that on the Goodkind board that is the main focus of this thread, anything that diverges from Goodkind's world view is censored? [edit]Forgot to mention, it was interesting that when it was only one person dissenting, Goodkind was more than willing to get his loyal henchman to pass along rude, condescending messages and support the thugs carrying out this poster's character assassination, but when a few more people showed up (and showed far more prowess at debate than the idealogues of that board) narry a word was to be heard from good old Terry.[/edit] Holy Moly, I just read all 8 pages of the forum. I love how goodkind's fans behave the exact opposite of their ideals. I also think it's hilarious that Goodkind brags about trumping people on his website to his "followers"--you would assume a rich, successful (however crappy he may be) author would have a much better way to spend his time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krafus Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Holy Moly, I just read all 8 pages of the forum. I love how goodkind's fans behave the exact opposite of their ideals. I also think it's hilarious that Goodkind brags about trumping people on his website to his "followers"--you would assume a rich, successful (however crappy he may be) author would have a much better way to spend his time. This is Terry Badkind. Neither the rules of good (or even average) writing nor the efficient use of time need knock at his door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ixodes Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 After reading that thread on his website, I have come to one logical conclusion. Mr. Goodkind needs to be savagely tea-bagged by a large-scrotumed (preferably foreign) liberal activist with socialist tendencies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werthead Posted January 1, 2006 Author Share Posted January 1, 2006 Talking about Goodkind for too long finds me with my will...to live...ebbing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olaf Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 I am so glad I never finished WIZARD's FIRST RULE. I am glad mymind was never contaminated by the filth he writes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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