Goodkind XXXVI. Moral pie with celery sauce

[Zap Rowsdower]

[quote name='Mossman' post='1320111' date='Apr 18 2008, 19.31']I've already pissed someone off on Youtube.

[i]

What a pointless video in that someone who hates someone deems it worth their time to create a video about him. Usually it is far more beneficial to one's health to ignore that which he or she hates, and cannot change."[/i][/quote]

I find it funny that he is using the above argument to defend Terry Goodkind- an individual who has deforested the rain forest by writing nearly a dozen cinder block sized novels that are in reality thinly disguised didactic rants against the many things Goodkind hates but cannot change.

[Zap Rowsdower]

Speaking of Terry Goodkind and youtube, I just found these two new videos:

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4nNWp2hP_Q"]Hush[/url] purports to be "A short sketch about Terry Goodkind, author of the Sword of Truth series." I cannot identify the scene from the books that they are trying to replicate, but I have not read the entire series yet. Very strange. Its like modern art.

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZpJZsLMfmo"]Faith of the Fallen- Reading on the Toilet[/url]. I found the entire concept to be oddly appropriate.

[Mme Erzulie]

:rofl:

[Jaxom 1974]

[quote name='Zap Rowsdower' post='1320206' date='Apr 19 2008, 00.18']Speaking of Terry Goodkind and youtube, I just found these two new videos:

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4nNWp2hP_Q"]Hush[/url] purports to be "A short sketch about Terry Goodkind, author of the Sword of Truth series." I cannot identify the scene from the books that they are trying to replicate, but I have not read the entire series yet. Very strange. Its like modern art.[/quote]

What the hell was that???

[quote name='Zap Rowsdower' post='1320206' date='Apr 19 2008, 00.18'][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZpJZsLMfmo"]Faith of the Fallen- Reading on the Toilet[/url]. I found the entire concept to be oddly appropriate.[/quote]

8 minutes of my life I'll never get back. But, yet, appropriate. :lol:

[The Wolf Maid]

[quote name='Zap Rowsdower' post='1320206' date='Apr 19 2008, 12.18'][url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZpJZsLMfmo"]Faith of the Fallen- Reading on the Toilet[/url]. I found the entire concept to be oddly appropriate.[/quote]
Thank you Zap. I think I just died sometime along that reading. :)

[The Pita]

Lemmings, we are in grave peril.
Mystar was right.
We are a dying genera.
It's been a long time since the first post of this thread, and we're only on page 14.
Shame on us. We call ourselves lemmings, but we don't deserve to fall off a cliff. We are merely flying over the cliffs of death choosing to the clouds of Getting a Fucking Life. This is an evil that can not occur. Let me suggest a movement.
Every time someone looks at this thread, that someone must respond in a witty, intellegent fashion that befits Myshkin or Will, and if that someone doesn't, may that someone join the realm of The Shining Enigma where every post of theirs has an answer that is "WTF" incarnate.
Viva la Lemmings. Heil Richard. w/e else we have.
Post more, people, or be consumed with odd fonts.

[Exa Inova]

[quote name='Un-Yearded Pita' post='1322435' date='Apr 21 2008, 14.50']Lemmings, we are in grave peril.
Mystar was right.
We are a dying genera.
It's been a long time since the first post of this thread, and we're only on page 14.
Shame on us. We call ourselves lemmings, but we don't deserve to fall off a cliff. We are merely flying over the cliffs of death choosing to the clouds of Getting a Fucking Life. This is an evil that can not occur. Let me suggest a movement.
Every time someone looks at this thread, that someone must respond in a witty, intellegent fashion that befits Myshkin or Will, and if that someone doesn't, may that someone join the realm of The Shining Enigma where every post of theirs has an answer that is "WTF" incarnate.
Viva la Lemmings. Heil Richard. w/e else we have.
Post more, people, or be consumed with odd fonts.[/quote]

Damn,

That means I have to scan my e-mail notifications too because I lack the life choosing qualities to come up with a witty comment every time I read this glorious thread. I, chooser of death that I am, depend on the (life) choosing qualities of others who enrich my day with their brilliant prose applied in holy adaptation of these great works of important human themes. Dont expect me to reach the highs of "animals that are not said animal' or weird anomalies within the floristic world.
I leech on the generosity of other to give me a laugh and I hold my hand up daily in communistic anticipation.

[post menopausal rhino]

But, but, but.... I do not have the moral celery to emulate the might of Myshkin or the wit of Will! I am not a noble goat just an ignoble rhino! Please, do not make me choose life!

[Myshkin]

Please continue with the glorious praise of myself. As pinko commie death choosers all can revel in the praise of one. I am that one. Continue praising me and enjoy.

[Mossman]

I can't allways bee witty butt I can at leased imutate MyStar spelling from thyme two thyme.

[Jaxom 1974]

Eh.

As we are, so shall we ever be. Lemmings forever.

(Besides, TG has to write his opus follow up at some point, eh?)

[Caligula_K]

[quote name='Un-Yearded Pita' post='1322435' date='Apr 21 2008, 08.50']Lemmings, we are in grave peril.
Mystar was right.
We are a dying genera.
It's been a long time since the first post of this thread, and we're only on page 14.
Shame on us. We call ourselves lemmings, but we don't deserve to fall off a cliff. We are merely flying over the cliffs of death choosing to the clouds of Getting a Fucking Life. This is an evil that can not occur. Let me suggest a movement.
Every time someone looks at this thread, that someone must respond in a witty, intellegent fashion that befits Myshkin or Will, and if that someone doesn't, may that someone join the realm of The Shining Enigma where every post of theirs has an answer that is "WTF" incarnate.
Viva la Lemmings. Heil Richard. w/e else we have.
Post more, people, or be consumed with odd fonts.[/quote]

I'm sorry. Clearly I have failed in my lemmingness. And by that I mean you all have failed, since you're all dirty commies who post in a communal thread while I make fun of Godking all by myself without any friends, like a good individualist. I also murdered some hippies.

[Fanatic-Templar]

[quote name='Un-Yearded Pita' post='1322435' date='Apr 21 2008, 07.50']Lemmings, we are in grave peril.
Mystar was right.
We are a dying genera.
It's been a long time since the first post of this thread, and we're only on page 14.
Shame on us. We call ourselves lemmings, but we don't deserve to fall off a cliff. We are merely flying over the cliffs of death choosing to the clouds of Getting a Fucking Life. This is an evil that can not occur. Let me suggest a movement.
Every time someone looks at this thread, that someone must respond in a witty, intellegent fashion that befits Myshkin or Will, and if that someone doesn't, may that someone join the realm of The Shining Enigma where every post of theirs has an answer that is "WTF" incarnate.
Viva la Lemmings. Heil Richard. w/e else we have.
Post more, people, or be consumed with odd fonts.[/quote]

Who do you think you are, trying to coerce me into obedience with a speech? Richard Rahl?

I am not an extension of your will, I will rise up and live my life, I shall cleave my own path through the corpses of innocents. And as such, I feel that it is necessary to teach you a lesson, and as such I shall do the exact opposite of that which you demand. I will not reply. In fact, this is not a reply. It is an unpost. We have always been at war against Eastasia.

But first, a message from Goodkind:

THE CHOSEN DWINDLE, ENIGMA. THE WEAK FALL AWAY. WHO BETRAYS ME SHALL DIE THE FINAL DEATH. MYSTAR, TWISTED BY HIS WEAKNESS. WOULD YOU UNLEASH THE CHAINFIRE IN MY SERVICE, ENIGMA?

[Exa Inova]

The pressure to perform rises. Brain fails to conjure up wittiness. Is that an odd looking paper cup? No, no, no, much too lame. The only chicken that is not a chicken a saw recently was a flattened crow on the road. I guess he was a crow that was not a crow (any more).

Must choose life. Kill the Dalai Lama. Mow down the ones who try to extinguish the Olympic flame of human spirit.

need a deus ex machina.......



I'm doomed.

[The Real Will]

[quote name='Myshkin' post='1323390' date='Apr 22 2008, 08.09']Please continue with the glorious praise of myself. As pinko commie death choosers all can revel in the praise of one. I am that one. Continue praising me and enjoy.[/quote]

Quite. Although I am fairly certain that I am the worst offender. My post count is far from exemplary.

On the subject of witty YouTube banter I am sure there is a lot of mileage to be got out of a video staring a chicken that is not, in fact, a chicken. There must be some aspect of that little phenomenon which has not yet been completely trampled into the ground. Something like this.

[i]A black screen. Fade in on a peaceful barnyard scene in a primitive village. Chicken's cackle in the yard, a goat might wonder past, the attentive view might notice that every straw dwelling in the village is tiled with impeccable red tiles not quite in keeping with apparent period of the piece. Several mud-people wonder about their business.[/i]

NARRATOR: ([i]with a slightly David Attenborough tone[/i]) The chicken, [i]Gallus gallus domesticus[/i], and in the Earth's 4.5 billion year history, rarely has a creature quite so boring graced its surface, crapped on its paths, and filled its vindaloos. Here, in the village of the mud people. we can observe the chicken doing what it does best...

[i]A near shot of a chicken looking confused and staring slightly off camera.[/i]

NARRATOR: Nothing. But all is not right with the chickens.

[i]A loud cackle. A chicken flapping noisily before settling back to sporadic pecking.[/i]

NARRATOR: Summer has come early to Midlands' plains and for the mud-people this can mean only one thing: an almost countless horde of wizards and confessors, arriving in the little village, to carry on a mating ritual, that has continued unchanged for millions of years.

[i]A wizard enters the village, yeard rampant and gaze abyssal, his confessor at his side.[/i]

NARRATOR: This is [i]Homo moralus[/i], the common war wizard, and he has migrated here with his mate. For the wizard, this is the culmination of journey that began nearly 2,000 miles away in a quiet Westland forest. He has travelled the vast continents of self-delusion, moral objectivism, sexual repression and juvenile torture to reach this point. Now, he is mere hours away, from the moment he has worked so long to see realised. But their courtship began more than half a year earlier.

[i]A forest glade populated by [/i]Vinus curiousus[i] and Wayward Pines which throw rocks at windows and taunt old ladies in the manner of wayward youths everywhere. The wizard and confessor are here. Also shambling about the clearing are a heard of [/i]Peacenik protestorus[i] and a juvenile [/i]Smuggus femininus.

NARRATOR: It is spring, and the female [i]Homo moralus[/i] has fled her homelands for the cooler climbs of this Westland forest. It is a migration that she undertakes but once in her life. But it is an important one. She has met a male and their courtship has began. The confessor is a fey beast, and not easily won. First, this wizard will use acts of senseless violence to woo her.

[i]The wizard kicks the jaw off the [/i]Smuggus femininus[i] and uses it to beat the [/i]Peacenik protestorus[i] to death. Those [/i]Peaceniks[i] not being immediately assaulted mill around in a confused fashion until the enraged carnivore can finish them.[/i]

NARRATOR: Having gained her interest, he will then employ a series of long and repetitive speech to cement the attraction. It is thought that the male's yeard is a decorative feature used to advertise his sexual verility.

[i]The wizard leaps on top of a rock and begins to pontificate loudly, sticking poses which accentuate his yeard and cause his ponytail to flail about. The confessor is visibly aroused.[/i]

NARRATOR: It is these speeches which make the war wizard such an attraction at zoos and parks. When placed in captivity the wizard's first instinct is to produce a speech of wondrous length. While a popular curiosity, few zoo-goers watch more than a few minutes as the theme is often weak, the morality trite and superficial, and the creatures natural timbre abrasive. The female, however, is more than interested; she is completely smitten.

[i]The confessor rubs herself against the wizard who attempts to mount her.[/i]

NARRATOR: Nonetheless, she will still not mate with him. Sadly, these magnificent creatures, are now almost extinct. Mating is difficult for them as the female will not allow an initial act of coitus, without a confluence of events which is as bizarre, as it is improbable. The [i]Homo moralus[/i] can only begin breeding through an act of fraternal obscufication at the height of a plague year when the female is at the low ebb of her fertility cycle. However, once having mated, they go on to root like rabbits.

[i]Various shots of [/i]Homo moralus[i] mating.[/i]

NARRATOR: The wizard will wed multiple times in his lifetime. However, after migrating the 2,000 miles to the mud-people's village the wizard will commit his last matrimonial act, and from then on, the pair will mate for life little. He is not aware of it, but the wizard's chain of marital failures will spark a series of events which might very well spell disaster for our pair of [i]Homo moralus[/i].

[i]Shots of the pair of [/i]Homo moralus[i] grazing peacefully in their natural habitat.[/i]

NARRATOR: Enter, the chicken.

[i]Cut to a close up of a chickens eye, looking beady.[/i]

NARRATOR: But is it a chicken?

[i]Wider shot.[/i]

NARRATOR: Notice the slight greening cast about the comb and the ten inch razor sharp spikes growing at it's heels. This is no common fowl. This is [i]Gallus gallus daemonus[/i], the chicken that is not. What the mud-people call "bird who nullifies itself". And things are about to go poorly for our happy [i]Homo moralus[/i] and his mate.

[i]The chicken that is not a chicken begins to attack the village. It quickly devours the wizard, confessor, mud-people, the other chickens and then begins to knock down the houses.[/i]

NARRATOR: It is estimated that by the end of this century, this small creature will have brought nearly a thousand species to the brink of extinction and wiped out over 1.5 million acres of habitat. For the [i]Homo moralus[/i] this is the beginning of the end.

[i]Blackout. Two web addresses appear on the screen. "www.stopthechicken.net" and "www.theendofmoralus.org".[/i]

[Jaxom 1974]

See, now that's some creative writing, Will! Brava!

[VigoTheCarpathian]

Well done, Will...

Now (as we all know), Tairy is a great lover of Truth. This love of Truth led him to do a great many things in experimenting and getting the characters for SoT [i]just right[/i]. One can only imagine how many arrows he had to catch, little girls he had to kick, and protestors he had to cut down with a sword to get the character of Richard down pat. But did you know that he also researched all of the other characters in the novel?

Didn't think so...

Below you will find an image of TG, perfecting the role of the Mord Sith. Note that his the -eard part of his noble yeard is not yet complete, and that he is wielding a six-shooter instead of the dildo of pain (agiel). This is a slice in time of Tairy's growth as an author (character development) and as a person (facial hair).

[url="http://riotclitshave.com/random%20pix/434099640_52bfb17d94_o.jpg"]This is not Tairy, but semi-Truth incarnate![/url]

[Jaxom 1974]

You're a sick man, Vigo. :lol:

[OverHill]

Excellent parody Will :thumbsup:
Finally someone who rises up and lives their (individual) life to the fullest.

[respectabull]

While I agree with Pita that the mediocrity of this thread lately would certainly offend any good objectivist...I find it heartening that the lemmings have chosen to not contribute for this time. It is after all in our creed to choose death at all costs. However, if we do not continue in our gonemind mockery, the lemmings will surely (which is also choosing death) however, this is a permanent death which is only good for a moment. We must remember that to truly be death choosers, we must indefinitely sustain life so that we can perpetually sustain our death choosing. Thus, sometimes we must in fact choose life at for the greater good of those who wish to choose death.

I Hope I have helped in readjusting our amoral celery... with this emotional-nonrational point of view, I too must say: POST MORE!!!!!

There are shirts to be made, letters to be written, prose to be mocked, interviews to be analyzed. It is hard work, but you should not complain because it is for the greater good of all and therefore full of death.




regarding the chicken that is not a chicken... I think it would be fun to see someone in a coop dressed as a chicken, walking around and doing odd things to people.... Then we can overlay it with the voice of a death chooser who would willing sacrifice himself in order read the passage describing the evil chicken.