AGOT Mafia 50 - The Chef Battle

[House Upcliff]

[quote name='House Plumm' post='1312095' date='Apr 13 2008, 14.52']Hello there fellow cooks. I thought I would share with you all one of my favourite recipes. In fact I am going to be cooking this hearty dinner tonight for the good Lord Manderly, who I am sure can not fail to be impressed.

[u]Bullock Stew[/u]

1 pound of penis, ram's or bull's
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper

Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn't say how you clean a penis. Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind).
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.


[size=1][size=2]Please note, Recipe orrigoanlly from Two Fat Laddies “Full Throttle” say this was originally a Jewish recipe from Marcelle Thomal. Apparently innards, including penis, once played a major role in Jewish cooking.[/size][/size]


You may as well all give up now. The position of Head Cook is quiet obviously mine. :smug:[/quote]

I don't know if you're a killer..

However, anyone who cooks a penis must be evil.

[House Tyrell]

[quote name='House Corbray' post='1312093' date='Apr 13 2008, 10.49']:looks around disapprovingly:

hmph! I thought the competition would be stronger.

:unpacks knives, garlic press, 11 secret herbs & spices:

First order of business: I gotta go find the privy.[/quote]
Is the strangler one of those secret herbs or spices? Just curious.

Plumm, I was planning on making something like this:
2 pounds calf testicles*
2 cups beer
2 eggs, beaten
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup yellow cornmea1
Salt and ground black pepper to taste
Vegetable oil**
1 tablespoon hot pepper sauce

* Be sure to ask your butcher for calf testicles, not bull testicles. Calf testicles are the size of a walnut and are much more tender than the larger bull testicles.

** Use enough vegetable oil to fill your frying container halfway to the top (to allow for bubbling up and splattering) and to completely cover calf testicles while frying.

With a very sharp knife, split the tough skin-like muscle that surrounds each testicle. Remove the skin (you can remove the skin easily if the testicles are frozen, then peel while thawing). Slice each testicle into approximately 1/4- to 1/2-inch-thick ovals. Place slices in a large pan or blow with enough beer to cover them; cover and let sit 2 hours.

In a shallow bowl, combine eggs, flour, cornmeal, salt, and pepper. Remove testicles from beer; drain and dredge thoroughly in the flour mixture. In a large, deep pot, heat oil to 375 degrees F. Deep fry 3 minutes or until golden brown (will rise to the surface when done). Drain on paper towels.

Serve warm with your favorite hot pepper sauce.

...delicious!

[Lady Gaga]

[quote name='House Florent' post='1312098' date='Apr 13 2008, 10.54']I don't know if you're a killer..

However, anyone who cooks a penis must be evil.[/quote]

No, anyone who pisses in my desserts must be evil!!!!!!!!! :pirate:

[House Tyrell]

[quote name='House Wythers' post='1312100' date='Apr 13 2008, 10.57']No, anyone who pisses in my desserts must be evil!!!!!!!!! :pirate:[/quote]
Do you put penis in your desserts?

[House Dayne]

Hayford is gone. Behold his successor, the far more aesthetically pleasing House Dayne!

[House Tyrell]

I liked Hayford better. :(

Everyone should have been subjected to that avatar like we were.

[House Upcliff]

[quote name='House Fell' post='1312103' date='Apr 13 2008, 14.58']Do you put penis in your desserts?[/quote]

Spotted Dick perhaps?

[House Dondarrion]

[quote name='House Florent' post='1312098' date='Apr 13 2008, 06.54']I don't know if you're a killer..

However, anyone who cooks a penis must be evil.[/quote]

If your gonna grill them, then they taste best Rare, not raw and served with a creamy Béarnaise sause

[Lady Gaga]

Hey, why has Hayford been replaced by Dayne?

I also want to change my alt - the Swyft one would fit to the recent discussion.

[House Upcliff]

[quote name='House Plumm' post='1312109' date='Apr 13 2008, 15.03']If your gonna grill them, then they taste best Rare, not raw and served with a creamy Béarnaise sause[/quote]

I'm going to resist jokes about heating up in a warm place first, AND creamy sauces...

[House Frey]

[quote name='House Florent' post='1312108' date='Apr 13 2008, 09.02']Spotted Dick perhaps?[/quote]

Spotted Dick is tasty.

[House Upcliff]

[quote name='House Wythers' post='1312110' date='Apr 13 2008, 15.04']Hey, why has Hayford been replaced by Dayne?

I also want to change my alt - the Swyft one would fit to the recent discussion.[/quote]

But then we can't make a roast squirrel joke later!

[Lady Gaga]

[quote name='House Fell' post='1312103' date='Apr 13 2008, 10.58']Do you put penis in your desserts?[/quote]

Every dessert tastes glorious when you put enough chocolate in it!

:smug:

[House Dondarrion]

[quote name='House Florent' post='1312113' date='Apr 13 2008, 07.04']But then we can't make a roast squirrel joke later![/quote]


you mean something like this


[quote]Roadkill Squirrel Squares

1 Flattened squirrel
1 Bottle of booze, home made
2 c Vegetables
Collard greens
White rice, cooked

Find a flattened Roadkill squirrel and pick out all the little hairs. Take it to the country kitchen and cut it into one inch squares. Marinate it overnight in a bowl of some homemade booze. Then dice some veggies mix with squirrel and fry `em in a skillet. Take the homemade booze left in your bowl and tip it up, and kill it. Cook your diced veggies and your squirrel until they smell real nice. Serve `em with some collard greens upon a pile of cooked white rice.[/quote]

[House Dayne]

[quote name='House Fell' post='1312105' date='Apr 13 2008, 10.00']I liked Hayford better. :(

Everyone should have been subjected to that avatar like we were.[/quote]I can link to it every so often I guess. [url="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v619/Tickmagnet/avatars/Hayford.jpg"]Behold the horror![/url]

[House Tyrell]

[quote name='House Plumm' post='1312109' date='Apr 13 2008, 11.03']If your gonna grill them, then they taste best Rare, not raw and served with a creamy Béarnaise sause[/quote]
Uhhh...I think the joke took a step too far. :lol:

[quote name='House Wythers' post='1312110' date='Apr 13 2008, 11.04']Hey, why has Hayford been replaced by Dayne?

I also want to change my alt - the Swyft one would fit to the recent discussion.[/quote]
This is exactly why we don't change alts. Pain in the ass.

[House Thorne]

[quote name='House Corbray' post='1312093' date='Apr 13 2008, 08.49']hmph! I thought the competition would be stronger.

:unpacks knives, garlic press, [b]11 secret herbs & spices[/b]:

First order of business: I gotta go find the privy.[/quote]

From now on I'm calling you Col. Sanders.

[House Thorne]

[quote name='House Florent' post='1312108' date='Apr 13 2008, 09.02']Spotted Dick perhaps?[/quote]

I don't know if you're a FM, but that's a crime against humor.

[House Frey]

[quote name='House Thorne' post='1312125' date='Apr 13 2008, 10.15']I don't know if you're a FM, but that's a crime against humor.[/quote]

I think you need a little education.

[url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_Dick"]Spotted Dick[/url]

[House Dayne]

[quote name='House Fell' post='1312120' date='Apr 13 2008, 10.08']This is exactly why we don't change alts. Pain in the ass.[/quote]Did [i]you[/i] want to look at a lurid stream of vomit for any longer? I'm still puzzled as to why the mods chose that avatar and I'm really rather glad they let me change it.