Bormon Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Geddon' post='1452263' date='Jul 23 2008, 09.34']Happy greetings my friend, My name is Eddie Nbunga how pleased to meet you. I have had the honour to be great nephew of the King Mpata Nbunga, sovereign leader of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Eastern New Congo. King Nbunga, may God rest his soul in heaven, owned 30000000 shares in Ran at the moment of his unfortunate dying. The share certificates are held inside vault of the Bank of Eastern New Congo and will only be accessed by paying a banking fee of 5000 us dollars. In return for sending that amount to me I will make you my business partner and will immediately transfer you 15000000 Ran shares. To become business partner of Nbunga Investment Company you will wire $5000 us dollars to my Western Union account, I am sending all details in my next message. I too need your bank details and password so I can transfer to you your 15000000 Ran shares to you immediately. Many happy returns, Eddie Nbunga Nbunga Investment Company of Eastern New Congo[/quote] :bow: :bow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Threads like these are the reason everyone's talking up COON futures. Most of the cutting edge, innovative ideas in the market seem to be emerging from this closely held Czech based tech stock. Breaking free from massive conglomerate Shyrkecorp, COON has tapped into a surprising market niche of lime flavored cat products. Many seasoned industry analysts questioned whether the angry feline market had already been saturated by top competitors Cat in a Bottle Co. (wholly owned subsidiary of Shyrkecorp) and Cat Humiliated By Giant Frog Costume LLC (wholly owned subsidiary of Frogeater SAS), only to be flummoxed by both the intense brand loyalty of the product and skyrocketing share price of the corporation, pushing 5,000 in a down market. As for my previous BUY recommendation for Dinsdale shares, I want to temper expectations a little bit. We're now advising investors to strongly consider a temporary HOLD on Dinsdale stock, spurred largely by increased confusion among analysts as to where the corporation is actually based. Is it Dutch, is it German, is it English, is it American, does it operate out of a rowboat slowly circling Madagascar? Each is considered equally likely. [quote name='Geddon' post='1452263' date='Jul 23 2008, 09.34']Happy greetings my friend, My name is Eddie Nbunga how pleased to meet you. I have had the honour to be great nephew of the King Mpata Nbunga, sovereign leader of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Eastern New Congo. King Nbunga, may God rest his soul in heaven, owned 30000000 shares in Ran at the moment of his unfortunate dying. The share certificates are held inside vault of the Bank of Eastern New Congo and will only be accessed by paying a banking fee of 5000 us dollars. In return for sending that amount to me I will make you my business partner and will immediately transfer you 15000000 Ran shares. To become business partner of Nbunga Investment Company you will wire $5000 us dollars to my Western Union account, I am sending all details in my next message. I too need your bank details and password so I can transfer to you your 15000000 Ran shares to you immediately. Many happy returns, Eddie Nbunga Nbunga Investment Company of Eastern New Congo[/quote] :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 My highly-paid market analysts here at the Jacen Syndicate are predicting a sudden and sharp loss of interest in all topics relating to urinating. We have speculated that the stock will crash in devastating fashion within a day or two. Sell now and thank me later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoth Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Bormon' post='1452251' date='Jul 23 2008, 09.21']With NHAW still a few months away, now is the time to by some BlueRose, Goddess Dictator, and maybe a sprinkling Starkess. Value guaranteed to explode come October![/quote] Something guaranteed to explode, anyway. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colder Hands Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 first, great post Geddon. second, love the thread idea lime. with that addressed the CEO and managing partners of CH & Johnson would like to announce assurances of our financial stability. while there are many in the market that would have you believe CH & Johnson if a flash in the pan n00b organization we would like to point out the company has staying power and has been going strong over 2 years. others may have you believe that the "Johnson" in CH & Johnson refers to the majority share holder's member or the hooker he hires while trading in hong kong to put baby oil all over him. while this may or may not be true it has no affect on the companies holdings or stability. the shares are diverse enough to manage any set back these could cause. with holdings in the military, legal field, medical field, travel and rescue industry you can be assured that CH & Johnson will be looking to put their stamp in every thread market they see. posts are hard to come by in this dwindling economy and posts are one thing CH & Johnson thrives in. there are some that compare CH & Johnson's posts to third world labor because of the "quality" they produce. we here like to think of it as providing an source for posts that deliver past the value. and here at CH & Johnson we don't like to make unfair distinctions between markets. if you trust in CH & Johnson you will have a faction of the community that may question your ethics but you are assured a return. Thank you for meeting with us today on this matter and we look forward to helping the board and investments in it grow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanteGabriel Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I'd hold off on CoON stock, friends. Pomelocatvar, a Czech corporation that actually developed the original Citrus+Cat model, is preparing a massive infringement lawsuit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoth Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 From the WSJ: "Concerning the press statement recently issued by CH & Johnson, many analysts are skeptical. As one market expert noted, the use of 'stability' in the context of this company is disingenuous at best. " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mlle. Zabzie Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 The problem that our analysts see with CoON is that the company has severe brand-identification issues. Although its mascot, the famous "limecat", has a long and proud heritage, CoON has changed its corporate name several times in the last few months, ostensibly for marketing reasons. Until CoON has resolved its identity issues, we rate the company at UNDERPERFORM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greywolf2375 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 from GiG Investments Blue Horse Shoe loves Mormont-Bear Industries <click> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colder Hands Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Quoth' post='1452526' date='Jul 23 2008, 11.54']From the WSJ: "Concerning the press statement recently issued by CH & Johnson, many analysts are skeptical. As one market expert noted, the use of 'stability' in the context of this company is disingenuous at best. "[/quote] CH & Johnson would like to assure the investors that these so called "analysts" knew me before the purchase of viagra was readily available. we are much more stable now. this announcement still does not confirm that the name Johnson refers to the majority share holder's member and any print to the contrary will be treated as slander and addressed by our legal department. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoth Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Recent public statements from the CH&J CEO have been viewed by market watchers as generally confirming long standing rumors. It would now appear certain that the viability of CH&J's rigid financial platform has been propped up artificially. Investors should use caution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colder Hands Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 CH & Johnson would like to continue to assure the people that we received no soft money to get started and are firmly ready for the future ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laron Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Recent trends indicate a growing demand for facial hair, an important renewable resource that is essential to male virility. We at Katze&Archer would like to remind investors of our long-standing experience and traditional excellence in this field. "Beards - No Man Without It" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ser Hot Pie Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 SHP Ltd. is still a dominant player in the niche market of quality pastries and martial skill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacen Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 The board market outlook seems downright grim at this point. The upcoming merger of the Jacen Syndicate with GretchenIndustries is producing alot of concern and volativity in the upper management sphere. The effects of these changes and upheavals are trickling down and can clearly be felt by the shareholders, causing many to panic. BrettFavre Co., a subsidiary of PackerInc., will probably conclude a merger with TampaBay co. by Sunday. Jacen Syndicate. feels this is a terrible blunder on par with the Russian's sale of Alaska, the Ford Edsel, the banning of Triskele, and New Coke. Current board market gainers and losers includes mustaches, ovens, peeing in the snow, and hummus. Attempts by the bold entrepreneurial JaimeL. Conglomerate to induce consumer spending on fresh board ventures and resource discovery probes have failed to realize any solid returns. Things are not looking good. 2008 may be the board version of 1929. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maltaran Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 I understand there is a large corporate affair in Denver in a couple of weeks, with representatives of many of the board's major companies attending. Stego Books looks like a good investment in that context, and there are rumours of some sort of deal between Ztemco and Katran Geoservices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S John Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 In an act of corporate sabotage and petty revenge (for leaking the cover of the SJohn 2007 financial report to non-shareholders), SJohn Companies is wholeheartedly supporting a new trend in board avatars. This trend, spearheaded by [i]Anatole[/i] encourages all boarders to display images of centipedes as your avatar. In this way we will accomplish the following: 1) Celebrate the group of organisms known as centipedes 2) Disrupt the board activites of the [i]Jacen Syndicate[/i] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colder Hands Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 CH & Johnson would like to announce the release of a new men's hand bag line. this new man purse will revolutionize the industry and bring profits to share holders over what the iphone did for apple. the man purse will have a flat screen TV panel capable of getting espn mobile and all sports packages offered. it will have a special lube resistant compartment and a condom dispenser. the dispenser will of course give out pez, because we know men hare condoms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaime L Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [quote name='Zabzy' post='1452538' date='Jul 23 2008, 11.57']The problem that our analysts see with CoON is that the company has severe brand-identification issues. Although its mascot, the famous "limecat", has a long and proud heritage, CoON has changed its corporate name several times in the last few months, ostensibly for marketing reasons. Until CoON has resolved its identity issues, we rate the company at UNDERPERFORM.[/quote] I find this paragraph particularly dubious considering Zabzyman Sach's long history of giving BUY recommendations to fierce competitor Lemoncat Industries despite 4 straight quarters of sour earnings growth and a notable scandal involving a proposed merger with a Turkish Lumber Conglomerate, ultimately only broken up when it was discovered TLC had exclusively been hiring boy labor. [quote name='Jacen' post='1452770' date='Jul 23 2008, 13.27']The board market outlook seems downright grim at this point. The upcoming merger of the Jacen Syndicate with GretchenIndustries is producing alot of concern and volativity in the upper management sphere. The effects of these changes and upheavals are trickling down and can clearly be felt by the shareholders, causing many to panic. BrettFavre Co., a subsidiary of PackerInc., will probably conclude a merger with TampaBay co. by Sunday. Jacen Syndicate. feels this is a terrible blunder on par with the Russian's sale of Alaska, the Ford Edsel, the banning of Triskele, and New Coke. Current board market gainers and losers includes mustaches, ovens, peeing in the snow, and hummus. Attempts by the bold entrepreneurial JaimeL. Conglomerate to induce consumer spending on fresh board ventures and resource discovery probes have failed to realize any solid returns. Things are not looking good. 2008 may be the board version of 1929.[/quote] Tree-mendous. Just for the record, JL Stearns is bullish on 2008. We believe the ASOIAF Board is undervalued in numerous sectors and once the Fed Mod Board takes the appropriate measures to lower its standards with regard to acceptable new thread investment, we can spur new capital and entrepreneurship in this economy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Pierre Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 [size=3]We here at Lucky Pierre, Fortuitous Freda & Associate would like to remind everyone that all previous claims in thread have been without proper disclaimers. Namely; [/size] [font="Times New Roman"][size=1][color="#ff0000"]Certain sections of this thread contain forward looking statements that are based on management's expectations, estimates, projections and assumptions. Words such as "expects", "anticipates", "plans", "believes", "scheduled", "estimates", and variations of these words and similar expressions are intended to identify forward-looking statements, which include but are not limited to projections of revenues, earnings, post counts, thread starts, sexual performance, thread flows, thread awards, thread failure, thread lockings, thread deletions and thread stability. Forward-looking statements are made pursuant to the safe harbor provisions of the ASOIAF Reform Act of 2007, as amended. These statements are not guarantees of future performance and involve certain risks and uncertainties, which are difficult to predict. But can be summed up as general assholery. Especially when the posters have been drinking. Therefore, actual future results and trends may differ materially from what is forecast in forward-looking statements.[/color][/size][/font] Class action status pending. Contact (1-866-Our-Thrd) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.