Let's Talk Script

[About Yea High]

As we wait yet another day for Ser Froggy to tempt our tummies with the taste of nuts and honey, I thought it high time to return discussion back to where it should be: the story.

The leaked script has its share of detractors, for various reasons; generally for lines added or changed, and that's fine. Opinions are like internet stalkers: everybody who doesn't have one at least pretends to.

But I keenly remember the day Dan & Dave popped into our humble little Westeros abode and announced the opening and closing lines for the Game of Thrones pilot. Mostly what I remember was everyone freaking out with joy along with me.

The script then got leaked, and most people were still (and remain to this day) heartily on board. A few lines gave us trouble, sure, gave us pause, perhaps. But my re-read of this sucker has only solidified in my mind how good it is.

Useless backstory: A few years ago I spent three ultimately unpaid days subbing for a friend of mine as a script reader for a production company I will leave nameless. My friend's rationale was, "You're a writer, you like a good story, just go read for me." So I did (he went to freaking Santa Barbara) ... and it was three days of literal hell. My friend’s co-workers were overworked and bitter. Each one insisted they could write circles around some of the crap we had to read - and most of them were probably right. It cemented in my mind that a large portion of the people who write and submit scripts are simply people who know people (i.e. have good contacts in the biz), and are only trying to make a quick buck - any way they can. Storytellers are so rare.

Copycat creation was the watch-phrase of the week, and it seems to remain so to this day. There was literally nothing original. I can only imagine how many vampire-themed scripts these poor readers are getting inundated with these days. Worse is knowing how many will actually get optioned. People will make money off of this shit.

So I know shit. Trust me, I know shit.

If a television script like Game of Thrones would have crossed my pile, I would have rolled over and fainted. There is nothing like this out there.

I think most of us, so familiar with George R. R. Martin’s story, look for the differences rather than the things we already know by heart and expect to see. These are thing we want to see! It’s the reason we check these boards every day – the reason we’re so freaking excited!

I can literally only remember being this excited for an on-screen event to happen three times: the preview for The Phantom Menace (alas, Jar Jar) … the preview for The Fellowship of the Ring (“You! Shall not! Pass!â€) … and the preview for Watchmen (mostly because I hadn’t been following the production’s progress – I nearly knocked my soda out of its holder in the theater the moment I realized I was watching the Comedian getting tossed through that window).

Game of Thrones has me tossing soda around even before a second of it has been filmed. Not just because it’s being done the only way they can (thank god for HBO), but because it’s also being done right. I’m not talking about casting, which, to me, already seems like a dream. I’m just talking about the script.

I’m going to try to break the script down to a skeleton of its former self, looking at it from the eyes of a first-time reader (no, it’s not a treatment, I’m not providing cover). I won’t C&P direct paragraphs from the leaked script; I understand what a “property†is, was chastened already, and I’ll … try not to let that happen again.

Insert smiley.

I’ll do it in the response to come. This is already too wordy. Not exactly a tweet.

I’m thinking of changing my name to About Way Long.

Anyway, to follow are my thoughts; jump on the story wagon, all you twitterheads, blogophiles and cyber stalkers, and add what you will.

[About Yea High]

Game of Thrones: Pilot Script

(Or, What Everyone Else Will See)

* Something otherworldly rises in the snowy wooded north. We get weird alien/Terminator ice-people and a whole lot of death. Only One Dude gets away. At first glance this looks something like Kingdom of Heaven meets Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Opening credits: we establish there's a whole lotta land south of that Wall thing. Great montage. Every land the crow passes looks different, looks exotic, and our imaginations immediately go tinggg with that all-too rare spark: the come-hither tug of future possibilities. Every fantasy fan understands the lure of the map.

* We open back north. We know we're there because we recognize the Dude That Got Away. He's run all the way south of the Wall and gets beheaded for his troubles. We say, "Wow, they're strict up there in them north lands!" Lord Stark is one hard dude, and his kids aren't far behind.

Bonus: We get wolf puppies! This is a win/win: little boys love wolves and little girls love puppies - and sometimes even vice versa! We also get our first hint that some sort of FATED FUTURE (Direwolves = Stark kids) might be involved in this story.

As yet we still have no Games played -- and no Thrones to sit on. Odd series title. Until...

* In a land far away, we meet a Wannabe King. We'll call him "King Tool." King Tool is such a tool he's going to sell his cute 15-year old sister to some foreign badass Horse Lord, just so he can arm himself up and take the throne he thinks is rightfully his. Here, now, Games are being played!

* In King's Landing, some old guy is dead; he said cryptic shit just before he keeled, etc. We meet the Queen (hot), and we meet the Queen's bantering brothers in a brothel. They're about to go north to meet with Lord Stark! Aha! Things are clicking.

SO IN THE FIRST 20 MINUTES: we've been shown a basic frame of the world, a lurking threat we KNOW will reappear, and the basic political premise: the big side has the throne, the small side wants the throne, and the hard Starks are about to get involved. Not a lot of action, but the various characters (and the settings) are interesting and diverse. We like the Starks, because hard is cool, and we don't like wannabe King Tool, because he pinches his little sister's tits. Pretty easy. Harder to judge the Queen and her ilk ... don't know if we like them or not yet. The dwarf is sarcastic and the tall one is good looking.

* At Winterfell, Lord Stark interacts with his noble wife. We can't help but feel even more foreboding regarding the arrival of this still-unseen King, who sounds like a badass.

* The KING arrives at Winterfell. And surprise: he's NOT A BADASS - but we like him anyway. He's past his prime, but we bond with his bombastic bluster. Who doesn't like Falstaff? We're getting an idea that the Queen is a bitch.

Note: inserted scene of Lady Stark chastening her son Bran for climbing is, of course, foreshadowing.

* The KING and Lord Stark are down in the Stark Tombs - more evidence that the Starks are hard as stone. We learn the KING still loves Lord Stark's dead sister. This all can only lead to future trouble, especially since the KING offers up the Hand position to Lord Stark - as well as the position of Future Queen to Lord Stark's eldest daughter.

* A feast! We learn the Queen's Brother, hereafter called the Kingslayer, slew the last king with a spear in the back. The Queen's side looks more evil by the minute. We're getting the feeling Lord Stark and the Kingslayer are going to cross swords one day. We also get more insight into Lord Stark's Bastard: being a Bastard among the nobles is not cool, so Bastard wants to go to the Wall. We wonder, who the Hell would WANT to go to the Wall? But then we remember the ice people from the Opening Scene ... and we kind of like the idea of the Bastard and his cool white wolf going there.

Much ado has been made of two lines created for this scene:

1. " ... because if I ever have to fight a man for real, I don't want him to know what I can do."

I still have to agree it's too much. I get what the writers are going for ... but I also agree a shortened line (as another brilliant poster suggested) would serve Ned better. I would change it.

2. " ... dipped your wick ..."

I was a little put off by this at first, because it changes why Jon stormed out in the first place. But did it? He was pissy and drunk to begin with. After a few re-reads ... the one thing that COULD come off as a little irksome are all the BASTARD references. Jon tells Theon he's a bastard. Jon reminds Benjen he's a bastard and then Tyrion calls him a bastard - four times. Later, Jon reminds Arya he's a bastard.

In the books, it's drawn apart enough that we get used to it; it's just a reference, and clearly it's what's on Jon's mind. In the one-hour script? It's jumping around us and shouting the fact in our faces, multiple times in an hour.

Bastardbastardbastard.

Monkeymonkeymonkeymonkeymonkey--

Et/al.

The only thing that makes it a saving grace is that Jon never really does act out on it. He keeps it tucked inside (even when Tyrion lays it bare), and acts like a 17-year old rather than a 14-year old. The line "I'll never father a bastard!" being screamed by a drunken Almost-Man doesn't play well in my head. I'm going to do a rare 180 and completely change my stance, if for nothing else then the sake of Jon's likability. Benjen, you can keep your wick line. And your wick. If you still have one.

SO IN THE SECOND 20 MINUTES: we simply learned more and confirmed various suspicions. But it was an entertaining 20 minutes to be sure, and we have this feeling of impending ... something. It may not be doom, but it's trouble.

THE LAST 20 MINUTES is mostly more of that. We get mysterious message-in-a-box and a note that says the Old Dead Guy back at King's Landing was murdered - by the Queen. (See? Total bitch.) We meet Arya, the Little Stark Tomboy, who we instantly like. Tomboys are cool. We meet the spoiled Prince and we think: takes after his mother (though the KING likely isn't the most doting dad in the world). We meet the Hound, and we think: a-hole. And we learn Lord Stark has accepted the KING's offer. Duh.

We end with some kickers:

* Back in that land far away, the wannabe King Tool's Cute Little Sister is now Cute Little Bride, and she gets married to the Horse Lord. We learn Horse Lord only knows how to say "No," but apparently Cute Little Bride does not, and she shows a little sexual dominance by taking dude's hand and sticking it between her legs. Expect some flack for that, though not half as much as if she'd been 13. Yes, I know, both are illegal. I'm just sayin.' I'm glad she was aged up.

* Bran's climbing again, and we get to see what he sees at the end of it: Twincest! We then get to experience the best of all gutpunches: "The things I do for love." It's the Kingslayer at his very best. It's wrenching and iconic. Not just to us ... but as soon as those words leave his mouth and Bran plummets to the cobblestones below, seen on TV screens across the world ... that's all everyone's going to be talking about the next day. Maybe with "Oh and, by the way, yeah, he was FUCKING HIS SISTER right before he did it!" stuck on for effect.

Watercooler talk never sounded so brutal.

And this script is freaking great. It whets our appetites for things to come - and we already know things will come! Just imagine the first-time viewer. It takes more than a 10th of the first book and turns it into a real, visceral, groundbreaking TV episode.

And it's done without changing hardly any of George's canon. The script, as they say, sticks to the script. That's harder to do than you think. An Original Screenplay is easy in that it all comes straight out of your head. Adapted Screenplays are tricky, and they usually involve a half-gazillion references.

Damn fine. Average Joe, so long as he isn't averting his eyes for the pivotal scenes, is going to get an eyeful.

I gave it an A.

Winter is coming!

[The Pita]

AYH, I've said this before. I have a shoe. You're one of my favorite posters here. Thank you.

[Arionis]

You are pure genius.

[red snow]

An excellent and hilarious review of the script. "we don’t like the wannabe king tool-on-the-run, because he pinches his little sister’s tits" = priceless.

[Gytha Ogg]

AYH, your enthusiasm is infectious - I love it! I agree 100% with your post.

I had no problem with the leaked script, and I'm sure it will be even better by the time it's finalised (assuming it changes).

I can't bloody wait. I think this is going to be one of the best book adaptations EVAR, looking at the excellent casting and the care going into the production.

I don't actually know anyone IRL who has read the books (I'm working on that), and it's so fun imagining their reactions when they watch the series (as I'm going to have a big viewing!)

'isn't that his..... sister... wha.... WHAT THE HELL?!'

Now get a move on, winter!

[Halfhand]

Awesome post, AYH. I am so amped to see this on TV now!

The thing that struck me most about the script is how effectively and efficiently Benioff and Weiss were able to introduce us to all these characters, the world they inhabit, the history of said world, etc. All within 60 pages and without it coming off as overly expository. This is quite a feat. And yet some people insist on focusing on one or two minor qualms.

Good point about the "dip your wick" line. Jon is already emo enough about his bastardry, let's not overdue it in the very first episode.

As to Ned's infamous tourney line, yeah it comes off as clunky and somewhat out of character. I'm not worried about it though because I'm confident that if it's not already been rewritten yet, it will be by the time they get on set. Bean and McCarthy aren't going to let a line that doesn't work make it's way into the final product. So they will find something that works, even if it requires some ad-libbing or last minute rewrites.

[boiled leather]

a great, entertaining read. thank you for reminding me that I can't write. :cheers:

[About Yea High]

The thing that struck me most about the script is how effectively and efficiently Benioff and Weiss were able to introduce us to all these characters, the world they inhabit, the history of said world, etc. All within 60 pages and without it coming off as overly expository. This is quite a feat.

It is. Again, the first 20 minutes has all this cool stuff: the Others, the MAP, Lord Stark performing an execution while his sons look on, a kicked severed head (we think Theon = asshat), a monstrous sized dead direwolf (you know viewers will be hopping in their seats, just waiting to see one live), direwolf pups, Pentos, tittie twisters (for the women I can imagine that's almost as wince-inducing as a kick to the balls is for us men), King's Landing, strangely-eyed dwarves with giant libidos, orally gifted prostitutes, Winterfell, and a cool looking weirwood tree.

Man, what other show gives you that in the first 20 minutes?

People can argue there are too many characters in the series for Average Joe to follow. I disagree; I think it will be hard to become confused, because everyone has their own look, and every area has its own costuming.

We're not going to confuse Winterfell folk with King's Landing folk with Pentos folk. The Starks have two older boys we won't confuse (Jon and Robb look completely different), two middle girls we won't confuse (duh) and Bran and Ricken - no confusion there. Theon is Theon, and as the script says, he wears a kraken. The Lannisters are all blond. The KING is FAT. The Targaryens will be (likely) silver-haired and lit by the Pentos ambiance (Gemma Jackson, I have every confidence, will nail the different lighting aspects and let us "feel" the difference between Kings Landing, Winterfell, and Pentos, even at first glance).

Names might be forgotten here or there ("What's his name? Rodrick?" "No, that's his son, Jory."), but I'm confident even the bit players will each have their own way about them. For instance, I would cast Septa Mordaine as fat, and Old Nan as skinny ----- hm, any chance we can get Rosemary Harris (Spider-Man's Aunt May / Jennifer Ehle's mom) as Old Nan?

One of the few complaints I hear about A Song of Ice and Fire is the fact that George seems to like tossing out random family names, sers, lordships, and banners at the toss of a hat. Names are harder to remember than looks. I have a feeling once we see the Greatjon and Roose Bolton we won't confuse them, ever.

As to adapting a screenplay from a novel ... guys, it is not easy. I actually attempted it with David Eddings' Pawn of Prophesy, about eight years ago. To say I failed is putting it mildly. It was just plain hard.

These boys have done it.

[Ser_not_appearing_yet]

I can't help but wonder whether we are looking at the script through ASOIAF fan tinted spectacles. Make no mistake, i like the script, i feel its about as well organised and clear as its possible to be, but looking from a non-fan's perspective, there's nothing particularly special untill 'the things i do for love'. I guess we will see. I can't really call the script 'groundbreaking' or anything, its just pretty good.

[Venardhi]

My script review thread is only on the second page, you could have posted this there.

ASOIAF translates to script surprisingly easily. George's scene selections are already very cinematic and his dialogue is mostly short and to the point with very few extraneous lines that don't have some emotional or plot relevance. I can understand rephrasing certain lines to work better out of the mouth of an actor, but I'll never be convinced that "Dip your wick" is the best option available, or that Ned needs to bark at Catelyn that he isn't a dog, or brag about his prowess to someone who is quite obviously a superior warrior. If they feel Ned needs to be a more pro-active character there are other more subtle things they can do rather than just making him a braggart and a douchey husband. The whole bedroom scene could use some heavy rewriting IMO.

The script isn't bad, it isn't great though. A good director (which he is) and a talented cast (which seems to be shaping up) could certainly raise it up a bit, but it could be better, and I am of the opinion that the closer they stick to the source the better it will be. The added scenes are fine, because they still theoretically could have happened in the original story, the dialogue changes that still keep the important plot points and emotional impact are well and good. . . but I don't see why we need to talk about the others in the second scene, or muse about how mean the boars are down south. The moment you show anyone actually take his mention of the Others seriously you undermine the point that NO ONE takes the others seriously until they're practically pounding down the wall. . . and while I appreciate the attempt at a bit of foreshadowing humor, the boar line reads like he stuck it in there for a personal chuckle.

I'm very picky about scripts. I'm a writer and an actor so I have some level of understanding here. I'm also kind of a pessimist even when it comes to HBO. There is a reason I've been given this title, but it doesn't mean I'm wrong.

[About Yea High]

The whole bedroom scene could use some heavy rewriting IMO.

I would certainly add a few things, but a determining factor could be script length. The "dog" comment by Eddard did seem a little out of character ... but if they leave it in, knowing how skilled Bean and Ehle are, I think they will make it a realistic moment. In this first script they've already shown Ned and Catelyn to be a realistic married couple. Small smatterings of love (him kissing the back of her neck at the feast is nice) and points where they clearly do not see eye to eye. Honestly, dog line or no dog line, this one will fall to the actors, and to Tom McCarthy's ability to direct it. Thus far he's shown a gift for intimate, personal scenes.

I don't see why we need to talk about the others in the second scene, or muse about how mean the boars are down south. The moment you show anyone actually take his mention of the Others seriously you undermine the point that NO ONE takes the others seriously until they're practically pounding down the wall

In a way, I think that was their reason for having it. Bran (a child whose head is full of stories) brings it up and Ned immediately puts it down to madness. Bam: dismissed. End of Others.

The boar comment ... enh. More foreshadowing. Though I agree, if they do that too often, audiences are going to start assuming there are no throwaway lines, and may go over every line with a fine tooth comb. Dunno if we want that.

There is a reason I've been given this title, but it doesn't mean I'm wrong.

What? C'mon. We love our 'Blanket. That shirtless-on-a-rocking horse pic makes me think it must have been a blast living at Neverland Ranch.

[Kingslayer]

Great thread. I still say they need to get rid of that stupid "Jaime killed Aerys with a spear in the back" thing, though. He's a famed swordsman, not a famous spear-thrower or whatever.

More foreshadowing. Though I agree, if they do that too often, audiences are going to start assuming there are no throwaway lines, and may go over every line with a fine tooth comb. Dunno if we want that.

Why not? We do that here with the books. :D

[Fireball07]

I agree about the spear line. It wasn't in the back because I seem to remember Jaime looking into his eyes....or maybe that was before Aerys ran. Need a reread.

But yeah a sword rather than a spear needs to be stated.

[Indigo Cloak]

Plus, I feel the changes to the script are there to make the Starks seem less perfect and nice and the Lannisters slightly less evil, as INITIALLY the sides are too black and white.

Only script change back required is Jaime's spear back to the sword. Why change it to a spear? There are several reasons that a sword is better, not least that it adds to Jaime's all important badassery.

[pablonohablo]

That shirtless-on-a-rocking horse pic makes me think it must have been a blast living at Neverland Ranch.

Oh, snap! :owned:

That was Churchill-ian.

Note to self: Never tussle with AYH.

[Venardhi]

It was Vegas baby, Vegas. Lets see you pull that look off. ;)

[Matarreyes]

On Jaime´s Kingslaying, I find it hard to believe they´d change something so set in stone without a good reason. The Ned line is there to make him look like more of a badass, so at least it has a purpose. I can´t recall who says the line about the spear, but maybe it´s there to early introduce the concept of account/POV bias so present in the books. Like, the tale claims Jaime slayed the King with a spear, but we soon learn he doesn´t ever use a spear, so the audience is supposed to wonder whether the tale is 100% true? I mean, Westeros court is armed with swords, lances, morningstars, daggers, arrows... A spear is such a strange weapon. Oberyn is the only user who comes to mind.

And yeah, the script is a total win. I don´t know if I should look forward to the audience reaction to the series or be afraid of it. Knowing a lot more then others, it will be painful to hear their reaction to some of the things they will see.

[SergioCQH]

Oh please, this thread is laughable. Whatever greatness the script has in it was taken entirely from the book. Just by being faithful to the book, the script can't help but be awesome. The one deviation that is of any value is the brothel scene. The lines that were changed were mostly inferior to the book version.

[Silverstar]

I don't know. The brothel scene is nice. The Catelyn and Bran scene is nice. The Cersei and Pycelle scene is nice. Some of the bits at the feast that have been added in are nice. I don't think you can say that it's only the parts taken directly from the book that have value. There are a few lines that don't quite fit, to our ears, but for all we know, they might have been changed by now anyhow.