Talyn Posted February 16, 2010 Share Posted February 16, 2010 Oh goody the parody's are back. I'm going to have to go back and read them from the beginning. :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeriah Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Here is another attempt.Pure perfection"Richard please take off your hood, we are almost before the council," begged Kahlan. They were only one corner away from the meeting.Richard simply ignored her and went into the crowded room. People began to shout all around him in great rage. Richard made no arguements, but he just stood completely still. Then in one great motion he pulled off his hood the the room fell instantly silent. There before them was the grandest, and most incredible pieces of moral clarity ever seen in this world. A yeard.Everyone fell to their knees weeping at the sight of this marvel, and some attempted to tear out their unworthy eyes. People crowded around himwith teh hope to touch the robe that he wore.(I don't think there's much more to say) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grendalen Posted February 19, 2010 Share Posted February 19, 2010 Here is another attempt.Pure perfection(I don't think there's much more to say)Don't worry. I'm sure GK'll write again soon enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Evil Hat Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I think I did a good deed today. I was in a bookstore, browsing in the fantasy section. Next to me was a man looking through the Sword of Truth series and clearly trying to figure out which the first one was. At first I thought I'd just wait it out, hoping he wouldn't find it and would have to buy something else instead, but no such luck. As he pulled out Wizard's First Rule, I offered him A Game of Thrones and said "read this instead." He didn't put back WFR, but he took GoT too, so I'm hoping that, after reading Martin's writing, it'll be impossible to read even a page of Goodkind without throwing the book violently across the room. Only time will tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lacuna Posted February 28, 2010 Share Posted February 28, 2010 I don't know why (is that why I choose death?) but I feel it's time for a confession, one that is long overdue. I read WFR once.I was studying in Scotland at the time, and the occasional tedium of a poor student's life drove me to give fantasy "important human themed literature" *makes wanking gesture* a try, only having read LOTR and The Hobbit of that genre before. I can't remember why I fell on WFR, but I suppose I thought marketing can't always be the reason for high sales numbers, there has to be a reason why this series sells so well. In this case, I suppose I was wrong.Reading it was like watching clowns in the circus. Even though they scare the everloving crap out of you, their antics can be somewhat amusing. But it didn't leave a good taste in my mouth, and I very nearly decided against buying any fantasy again. Luckily I decided to give it another go, and the next randomly chosen book was AGOT, which suited my tastes infinitely better.So I'm ashamed to say that I fed the Yeard, but I think I made up for it by spitting in the face of life and donated it, as well as other books I'd bought, to Oxfam when I left Scotland. (I feel kinda bad about dumping it on their lap, but what could I do? Look at the Dead Sea scrolls - what if archaeologists found my buried copy of WFR millennia from now and came to the conclusion that this was something someone wanted preserved for eternity, in stead of having buried it in the dead of night out of compunction and bald-faced shame?)These threads, or the ones I've been fortunate enough to have read, have helped me realize just how bad this series is, and are also funny as hell. But not like clowns. *Shudders*. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeriah Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 Well I just recieved Wizard's First Rule from my library again. The last time was over the summer and I just couldn't stand it anymore. But I really want to experiance the stupidity first-hand. Wish me luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grendalen Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Well I just recieved Wizard's First Rule from my library again. The last time was over the summer and I just couldn't stand it anymore. But I really want to experiance the stupidity first-hand. Wish me luckDude... why? Reading the phone book would contribute more to your life. Unless you're an aspiring writer, in which case I encourage exposing yourself to such drivel. As much as I hate his books I have to admit that the man did something right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 I haven't read WFR in over a decade, but by gods I've been tempted lately. I need a bit of absurdity in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grendalen Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 I haven't read WFR in over a decade, but by gods I've been tempted lately. I need a bit of absurdity in my life.That attitude once cost me 8 bucks to see The Happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeriah Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Unless you're an aspiring writer, in which case I encourage exposing yourself to such drivel.Yeah I am, almost done with my first one. I have to find out what not to do. I'm going to add some allusions about TG in it, like people running from a evil chicken and such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeriah Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Wow... this is awful. I'm only at chapter 5 and already want to slug someone. I have never been able to read a full page and I find myself skipping many pages at a time. It can only get worse from here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grendalen Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Your journey's just begun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 3) MinDonner you collectivist dog, I expect to see my masterpiece posted on your blog within the hour. You left me hanging when I wrote The Truthslinger, and unless you want to cause a schizm in our Church, you will not do it again!Sorry dude. The blog's kinda defunct now. Rise up and live your life and make your own? Freedom, not slavery! You're not the boss of me! *throws sword and pirate plumber flag out of pram* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xray the Enforcer Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Wow... this is awful. I'm only at chapter 5 and already want to slug someone. I have never been able to read a full page and I find myself skipping many pages at a time. It can only get worse from here:lol:Don't be a Death Chooser. Man up and read! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acid Rainbow Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Terry will chop off your manhood, and feed it to his noble goat.By the way, does he know that he's being mocked on these forums? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeriah Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 By the way, does he know that he's being mocked on these forums?Of course he does. Don't you know Terry Goodkind knows all? His yeard probably tells him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Mystar knows, therefore Terry knows. I understood a while back one of them sent GRRM a complaining E-Mail about us, although since TG is too manly to have an internet (although he still has a website, for some reason). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nichole Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Wow... this is awful. I'm only at chapter 5 and already want to slug someone. I have never been able to read a full page and I find myself skipping many pages at a time. It can only get worse from hereI only made it half way through. It does not get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mme Erzulie Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Yeah, it's pretty Terryble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Pita Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 Get to the 70 page torture bit. At least do us that little favor. I want to see someone's reaction. You'll know when it is when the word "mistress" starts popping up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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