Goodkind XLVI: Behold the BRILLIANCE

[Jaxom 1974]

So Buffy and Angel's Charisma Carpenter is playing a Mord Sith in the Season 2 premiere of Legend of the Seeker.

As viewer-grabbing casting choices go, that works pretty well.

That and/or she's just desperate without any solid work since leaving Angel... :P

[WrathOfTinyKittens]

So I bought the Legends anthology yesterday at Half-Price Books (I add that in so that everyone knows I did not feed the Yeard). And... driven by some strange curiousity, I read "Debt of Bones," Badkind's little novella about Zedd.

Worst. Novella. Ever.

The plot was actually not laden with anything that I could detect as blatantly Objectivist; perhaps the IHTs were too subtle for me. Anyway, basically the plot is that this woman goes to see Zedd with her mom's skull. The skull contains a magical residue of some sort that indicates Zedd's debt to her mom, so in theory she can force him to pay the debt. She wants him to go and rescue her village, which has apparently been captured by Panis Rahl's D'Harans.

Pretty standard fantasy, thus far. Fantasy that isn't fantasy.

It was fucking ridiculous. I laughed out loud multiple times because there are so many things-that-aren't-things. Zedd's-daugher-who-isn't-Zedd's-daughter. Weird-old-lady-who-isn't-a-weird-old-lady. Plot-twist-that-isn't-a-plot-twist. Ad nauseum.

Overal, not worth reading even for amusement value, but fortunately it was quickly over.

[explopyro]

Debt of Bones is the one piece of SoT garbage I haven't read. What I've heard is that it basically contradicts the timeline of past history as presented in WFR, to the point where it's completely incoherent and WFR could not have occurred (discrepancies in ages of characters and so on).

I have no plans to read it, but then again... hmm... want to do a Quote of the Day or something from it?

[WrathOfTinyKittens]

Debt of Bones is the one piece of SoT garbage I haven't read. What I've heard is that it basically contradicts the timeline of past history as presented in WFR, to the point where it's completely incoherent and WFR could not have occurred (discrepancies in ages of characters and so on).

I have no plans to read it, but then again... hmm... want to do a Quote of the Day or something from it?

I'll take a look for a good one... the writing was pretty bad all the way through, but I feel like there's probably a gem hidden in there somewhere.

And it does contradict the timeline pretty well. Zedd is around 30 or 35 in the book based on internal evidence, and has a daughter who seems to be roughly 10. However, she and her husband (George Cypher) were in the first generation of people in the Westlands and were seemingly adults when they moved there (considering that George had the Book of Counted Shadows when he moved to the Westlands, which hardly seems like something you'd give a child). But at the end of Debt of Bones, Zedd gives the people in the Midlands around a year, at the most, to get to the Westlands and have the boundary set up.

So... apparently Zedd's daughter married George Cypher as a pre-teen and moved to the Westlands at this point. Except that we also know that she was raped by Darken Rahl at some point, which didn't happen in or before Debt of Bones. So she must have moved to the Westlands, grown up a bit, then come back to be raped, and then marry George Cypher, for some reason.

This is all going from memory, mind you - maybe Zedd and his family moved later. Except that it's mentioned in WFR that Dick's mom had a death spell cast on her after she was raped so that Darken Rahl would quit sending quads after her. Except that Zedd casts a death spell on her in DoB so that some random bitch won't kidnap her. Except that said kidnapping could also have been prevented by a guard, and Zedd had access to thousands of soldiers at the time (it's explicitly mentioned that 3 Midlands armies are converging at this point, and Zedd takes an escort of several hundred men with him to the village).

Then it gets worse. From Kahlan's death spell in whichever book, we know that they work by convincing the person that they're about to die, are extremely troublesome to cast (not to mention unpleasant), and are dispelled by a gifted person revealing the truth. Zedd casts this spell on his daughter for no apparent reason (considering that guards would have been just as effective a deterrant) while she's sleeping and therefore unable to believe that she's going to die. Then he casually reveals the death spell and renders it ineffective.

So basically we have to believe stretch the timeline to its absolute limits to make the whole Darken-Rahl-is-Dick's-dad thing work and believe that she had not one but two death spells cast on her.

[marwyn]

I'll take a look for a good one... the writing was pretty bad all the way through, but I feel like there's probably a gem hidden in there somewhere.

etc etc etc

Ah, but who honestly cares about such plot inconsistencies? Only stupid nitpicks who have nothing better to do. You are missing the True Point! Who gives a shit about plot? It's all about the Important Human Themes.

[The Wolf Maid]

I'll take a look for a good one... the writing was pretty bad all the way through, but I feel like there's probably a gem hidden in there somewhere.

And it does contradict the timeline pretty well.

Oh Christ. Trying to make sense of that novella and how it fits to the timeline pretty much blew my brains out. My mind kept screaming "shouldn't Zedd's daughter be older?"

[The Shining Enigma]

Good gracious me, my son, you seem to have avoided the true heart of the matter.

Verily, I say unto ye: submit! The time is ripe now, quite ripe for the awakening unto Truth, and the Sublime Ideal.

Mayest thou relinquish thy misgivings!

[Exa Inova]

Goodkind doesnt do proper timelines.

Nor traveltime, logistics, logic and other "real" things that might distract from the Important Human Themes (IHT)

[The Wolf Maid]

Enigma is back. O_o

I missed you. And your font.

[The Real Will]

Enigma is back. O_o

I missed you. And your font.

It is a life-choosing font, and no doubt about it.

[Xereaux]

Good gracious me, my son, you seem to have avoided the true heart of the matter.

Verily, I say unto ye: submit! The time is ripe now, quite ripe for the awakening unto Truth, and the Sublime Ideal.

Mayest thou relinquish thy misgivings!

Oh my god! Thank you, Shining Enigma, for these inspirational words! I had no idea how shallow and meaningless my life has been, living in lies and shadow!

But now, truth verily hast dawnedest on me, and I hast seeest yon light!

I'm leaving work right now to go to the bookstore and buy me some Tairy! Oh, and some Ayn Rand as well!

[AverageGuy]

So, I was perusing this thread, the topic of which related to whether or not eight years old was too old not to learn to tie one's shoelaces, and so naturally I pondered, WWRD? At which point, the answer became as obvious as the tactical brilliance of attacking an army naked: Richard did just fine without ever learning to tie his shoelaces. In fact, an eight year old girl once made fun of him for not being able to tie his shoelaces, so he calmly slipped on his BOOTS and kicked her in the jaw.

[Tormund Ukrainesbane]

So, I was perusing this thread, the topic of which related to whether or not eight years old was too old not to learn to tie one's shoelaces, and so naturally I pondered, WWRD? At which point, the answer became as obvious as the tactical brilliance of attacking an army naked: Richard did just fine without ever learning to tie his shoelaces.

He did learn to lace his traveling pants though.

[Morrigan]

I think the customer in this story from notalwaysright.com is a Yeardite!

http://notalwaysright.com/beware-the-nines-of-merch/2239

TAKE THE NINES SERIOUSLY!

[Peter Irving]

Goodkind doesnt do proper timelines.

Nor traveltime, logistics, logic and other "real" things that might distract from the Important Human Themes (IHT)

You forgot important world building a new nation comes into play as soon as that annoying "barrier" that divided falls down. World building is for us death choosers!

BTW for Timeless daring to choose life I put foward a motion of jaw kicking!

[thotk]

When I started reading the books I got quite into them, however, I stopped after TotW. The series became...silly...Goodkind would just total create new and seemingly arbitrary changes to things, I'm not entirely convinced he had any clue what he was going to write before he came up with his new plots.

Everything seems so jumbled and random it just started to make me angry -- I really did enjoy the first few books, but I cannot possibly continue the series.

Not to mention I saw one episode of "The Seeker" (Goodkind wasn't responsible but still) damn that show was so aweful i wanted to jump out of a high building to escape its ineptitude. EWWW

[Jaxom 1974]

Borders just flat out annoyed me tonight with all their copies of LoN...but at least they had it in the proper section: Fantasty. I didn't see any in the Thriller section.

[Peter Irving]

I didn't see a singel copy at my Barnes and Noble.

[The Pita]

I don't think it arrived in Israel yet. I'll check in ICon.

In other news, woo.

[Tyrellius]

Then it gets worse. From Kahlan's death spell in whichever book, we know that they work by convincing the person that they're about to die, are extremely troublesome to cast (not to mention unpleasant), and are dispelled by a gifted person revealing the truth. Zedd casts this spell on his daughter for no apparent reason (considering that guards would have been just as effective a deterrant) while she's sleeping and therefore unable to believe that she's going to die. Then he casually reveals the death spell and renders it ineffective.

:o :o :o

My head hurts.