Jump to content

The Dumbest Status Presently On Your Facebook News Feed


Mack Kilimaro

Recommended Posts

Some people call it a paycheck. Out in the Bay, we call it Get'n Paid!!!!!! I gotta get mine! While you standin still, I'm collecting my bankroll.

I added this guy a couple of weeks ago because we graduated high school together and performed in some things together. How bad could he be, I asked myself. He's had three different middle names in the ten days since. "Aceofspades", "Gonnakickyourassatspades" and "Aceofhearts".

Some people need to be a little more self-conscious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Hide function is great, especially when it comes to weird family members or old friends who might get all angry/angsty were you to delete them.

I don't have a status update in particular that's currently the dumbest, but there's been a run of those ridiculously stupid groups that people Like, mostly involving religion. I just want to tell them, "If there is a God, I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a shit that you like a group called Jesus is Lord Everlasting and His Holiness is Blessed Forever and Ever and if you Don't Like it You Will Face Eternal Damnation."

My Hide feature really likes people who post that shit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

so many, its kinda hard to choose.

here is a few off the top:

finally went and got his Florida drivers/motorcycle license. So glad they accepted my fake green card

if your a man and you "poke me" on a social networking site you will be deleted immediatly!!!! sincerely-the managment

hello. 2Day is a better day!! jus some times u have those days? sanyway have Bless one! lov ya!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Worst aspect of my phone is that facebook update appear on the front screen whenever I open it. I can't even choose not to go to Facebook, I have to be inundated with the vapid and borderline retarded just to make a call or send a text.

When it comes to FB acquaintances (not true friends, but acquaintances) my respect for them is almost perfectly inversely prorportional to how often they update their status.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

so many, its kinda hard to choose.

here is a few off the top:

finally went and got his Florida drivers/motorcycle license. So glad they accepted my fake green card

if your a man and you "poke me" on a social networking site you will be deleted immediatly!!!! sincerely-the managment

hello. 2Day is a better day!! jus some times u have those days? sanyway have Bless one! lov ya!!

Phew, none of those are mine.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

no worries, I made sure these folks were people who would never see this site! I'm not trying to embarrass anyone!

Oh, so that's how my "I shake my fist at you spider solitaire!" and "I want Oreo Cakesters" didn't make the cut.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, so that's how my "I shake my fist at you spider solitaire!" and "I want Oreo Cakesters" didn't make the cut.

See, but these are things that, while they may be a bit banal, you don't have to feel ashamed to be broadcasting to other human beings.

By the way, the guy I mentioned in the OP works at a Royal Farms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Amazingly, I don't see any "click like if Jesus is the bestest" type messages today (I always feel smug if I see that no one clicked the like button).

Worst I see is a former classmate telling people to sign up to take meals to a friend who's having a baby- nice idea but more appropriate for people who are mutual friends and not spamming scores of people who don't know her and don't live near her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Or when someone has a status you know is directed at you but is played off as some general 'I am in a bad mood' statement. It's the equivalent of signing onto IM/MSN and setting your status as "don't talk to me".

And then people 'like' it. Damn it people, stop supporting the self-loathing!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't really get stupid FB updates, and I often get very witty ones, though I do have friends who feel compelled to liveblog their day. I get some that can sound strange out of context of knowledge of the link - e.g. "adds Saturn to the list of things I'm terrified by"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happy 90210 day!!!!!!!!

I have no idea what this means nor do I understand the necessity of 8 exclamation marks.

ETA: I hit post and got it. I suppose it should be 090210 day. It still doesn't need 8 exclamation marks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here is a dumb status update in the hopes that it will make it onto the gen chat thread.

(if you have no idea what I'm talking about, then I'm not talking to you!)

Faillllll

Hey, I 'liked' that one. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...