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Writing Erotica About Your Mother


Cantabile

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There has to be some middle ground between everything is permissible on the one hand

and

throw the kid in a padded cell forever on the other

The parents have really put themselves against a wall here they can't pretend they don't know what they know but if they confront the kid they will have to reveal exactly how they came by the information. Although it could be a great test for the Grandson if he pulls a blanket over his head he's perfectly normal, if he shows no reaction at all there are probably deeper issues.

It is probably great news for this family that no one here has any real input on the final decision process.

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my curiosity is what supposed behaviors by this supposed child would darkostar not rationalize and trivialize?

Probably few: it's the root cause that needs to be dealt with first. The other stuff, as drastic as it is, is secondary. It can be handled after these anger issues realting to his mother are

The kid needs help with the family issues he has, because those are, without a doubt, exacerbating his sexual acts.

Edit: Look, you can't stop a forest fire by hitting the flames with water, even if you concentrate on one section at a time. You have to cut off its source of fuel by cutting down trees and digging trenches.

These acts of deviancy are a result of a messed up home life, and that needs fixing before anything else, otherwise we're gonna be looking at this exact same topic in x amount of time from now, only I'll have another ridiculous punny username.

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Well, if I were Cantabile's son, I'd probably file for divorce from the Bitch Queen (if she is as nasty as she sounds.) And definitely get custody of their son. Shouldn't be too difficult. All he'd have to do is show her the stories the kid's written about her. I know they'd freak most women right out.

If he can't bring himself to do it, I'd still show her the stories - probably at a therapy session so there's a calm third party who's already familiar with their content so he/she can anticipate the explosion. She's got to know how serious it is AND that the kid's problems are with HER, not the dad.

The whole loss of trust business seems to be dancing on a pinhead when you're talking about the kid's chatting it up with what's probably a perv over the interwebs, jacking off into mom and sis's panties, writing rape/torture fiction about those supposedly near and dear, and -- oh, did I mention the possible voyeurism and picture-snapping of innocent third parties? - a crime in itself. What next? For the love of God, how far would it have gone if they HADN'T snooped?

The first time I read about this, I saw it as a power issue, not sex. But unfortunately, that doesn't make it any better. It makes it worse.

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The parents have violate the kid's trust by bringing others (including us, indirectly) into a private matter without his knowledge. On top of that, the mother clearly exercises too much control, without regard for the feeling of others, and doesn't have to suffer any consequences.

The kid is emulating her, intentionally or otherwise.

I don't quite understand why, with very little fact, you are willing to condemn the mother and write her off as the cause of everything here, yet overlook any and all facts on the son as unimportant. We don't really know much about the mother's behavior, mostly just vague assertions Cantabile has made that she is a bitch. While I don't disrespect his opinion on her, we have a LOT more information to go on with the kid and it has seemed like he is letting his personal feelings cloud his judgement with him, the same could be true about his negative feelings about her, especially considering how much he would not want to believe something was wrong with his grandson. No matter what the cause is, we don't know for sure, nobody does. It's better to be cautious and not rule out serious psychological issues, because if present and untreated, they will be harmful to him and others. My sister, a former youth psychologist, worked at a juvenille detention center. There was a kid there who was about 15 and had also been stealing his sister's panties and looking up rape fantasy pornography (this isn't why he was there, I think that was drug possession). His parents either could not or would not keep him in therapy after his release. This young man, now an adult, is in prison for multiple counts of rape and battery. I am by no means saying this is Cantabile's grandson's fate, but if there was the merest ghost of a chance it might be, I would want to find a solution in his position- even if it meant the kid wouldn't trust me.

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I don't quite understand why, with very little fact, you are willing to condemn the mother and write her off as the cause of everything here, yet overlook any and all facts on the son as unimportant. We don't really know much about the mother's behavior, mostly just vague assertions Cantabile has made that she is a bitch.

I think breaking bones in her husband's body ain't vague. :lol:

It's better to be cautious and not rule out serious psychological issues, because if present and untreated, they will be harmful to him and others.

Absolutely. But you're not gonna be able to cure the dangerous sexual habits without addressing the mother issues, whatever they may be.

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it is without the story how it happened, out of context things can sound different. I'm not saying it's the most likely scenario that she isn't as she's painted, I'm saying you suspend judgement where you have more information and condemn where you have very little and it's illogical.

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I'm saying you suspend judgement where you have more information and condemn where you have very little and it's illogical.

But that argument in and of itself is subjected to the very same thing you're accusing me of; we can't know exactly how credible the information Cant is giving us is. The father could be over-exaggerating the things the kid is doing, or the mother could be reporting stuff to him that's false. We don't know. This is a 12 year old kid who's deeply troubled, so, yeah. I'm gonna err on the side of caution and give him the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.

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But that argument in and of itself is subjected to the very same thing you're accusing me of; we can't know exactly how credible the information Cant is giving us is. The father could be over-exaggerating the things the kid is doing, or the mother could be reporting stuff to him that's false. We don't know. This is a 12 year old kid who's deeply troubled, so, yeah. I'm gonna err on the side of caution and give him the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.

The problem is you only seem to want to give him the benefit of the doubt on one specific thing, seemingly because it's the one part of the kid you feel a commonality with. You keep trying to isolate his supposed kink from everything else in his life saying "That shits all fucked up, but this is totally ok and fine, even though it's intimately connected with every other problem he apparently has."

And secondly, he's 12 and they are his parents. These are not equals. He does not have an equal right to trust and privacy as them here. They are responsible for him after all.

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"That shits all fucked up, but this is totally ok and fine, even though it's intimately connected with every other problem he apparently has."

There's a difference between co-dependent neuroses and cause-and-effect. Based on what I've read, this kid is firmly in the latter camp. I could be off, though.

And secondly, he's 12 and they are his parents. These are not equals. He does not have an equal right to trust and privacy as them here. They are responsible for him after all.

Of course they are, and they've done a damn poor job so far. :lol: And they should be held accountable. The thought that the mom shouldn't be thrown in therapy or cut off from the son entirely is ludicrous, if what we know is credible.

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There's a difference between co-dependent neuroses and cause-and-effect. Based on what I've read, this kid is firmly in the latter camp. I could be off, though.

I think you'll only find out if the kids head gets sorted out eventually. But initially and for now, it seems to be directly related to his fucked up situation at home.

His interests may continue on this path even after he "gets better", but they certainly seem to have started and been nurtured by his family issues and the consequences there of.

Of course they are, and they've done a damn poor job so far. :lol: And they should be held accountable. The thought that the mom shouldn't be thrown in therapy or cut off from the son entirely is ludicrous, if what we know is credible.

Oh indeed. But that's got nothing to do with your arguing that they "violated his privacy" or some bunk.

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I think you'll only find out if the kids head gets sorted out eventually. But initially and for now, it seems to be directly related to his fucked up situation at home.

Been saying that consistently thusfar, although admittedly it could be lost between the posts about kink. :lol:

His interests may continue on this path even after he "gets better", but they certainly seem to have started and been nurtured by his family issues and the consequences there of.

Yeah, but the thing is, the fewer catalysts you have around, the easier it is to manage. I've been saying from the beginning that he needs therapy to learn how to find healthy release. He can't do that if his home life continues to be CRAZAY.

Oh indeed. But that's got nothing to do with your arguing that they "violated his privacy" or some bunk.

They did violate his privacy, just as he did theirs. Different ways, obviously, but since it's resulted in internet strangers talking about him, no less tangible. :lol:

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If he can't bring himself to do it, I'd still show her the stories - probably at a therapy session so there's a calm third party who's already familiar with their content so he/she can anticipate the explosion. She's got to know how serious it is AND that the kid's problems are with HER, not the dad.

Yes, I AM quoting myself - only because I want to change something. The kid's problems are with the dad too. The fact that he's so passive is helping to create this shit-storm. He needs to man up and realize what they've created here.

(And yes, I'm quoting Judge Joe Brown too. :P )

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Going to take my grandson to Japantown in San Francisco today to get him out of the house and indulge his interests. Hopefully over lunch I'll be able to get him to talk about the school situation with me, and see if maybe homeschooling will be the best solution.

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Going to take my grandson to Japantown in San Francisco today ... and indulge his interests.

:stunned:

No. Just no. If Cruella is as bad as you say, he shouldn't spend even more time around her.

I'd be utterly amazed if his mom was meant to be the teacher in this scenario. Or his dad, for that matter.

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Going to take my grandson to Japantown in San Francisco today to get him out of the house and indulge his interests. Hopefully over lunch I'll be able to get him to talk about the school situation with me, and see if maybe homeschooling will be the best solution.

Don't do it, man. School is the best thing the kid has going for him. Exposure to other kids his age and time away from Psycho!mom.

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No. Just no. If Cruella is as bad as you say, he shouldn't spend even more time around her.

We'd have to figure out a way that he wouldn't be spending much time around his mother/be taught by her. I don't think she'd even want to be around him, though, so that shouldn't be much of an issue. Will take it one step at a time, need to discuss it with the kiddo first.

:stunned:

Not those interests! :ack: I will not be purchasing him any manga that has tentacle monsters on the front cover, don't worry.

Don't do it, man. School is the best thing the kid has going for him. Exposure to other kids his age and time away from Psycho!mom.

He's not really socializing with any kids his age, it sounds like. If he truly thinks homeschooling would make him happier, then I support him. My daughter was homeschooled, an experience I talked a bit about in the homeschool thread a while back, and it was great for her. Will have to talk to my grandson first and find out the reasons he doesn't want to go to school.

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