Jump to content

Writing Erotica About Your Mother


Cantabile

Recommended Posts

The problem is you only seem to want to give him the benefit of the doubt on one specific thing, seemingly because it's the one part of the kid you feel a commonality with. You keep trying to isolate his supposed kink from everything else in his life saying "That shits all fucked up, but this is totally ok and fine, even though it's intimately connected with every other problem he apparently has."

And secondly, he's 12 and they are his parents. These are not equals. He does not have an equal right to trust and privacy as them here. They are responsible for him after all.

I don't think it's so much giving excuses for the kid to do what he wants. Obviously there are and should be consequences. I just think Darko's trying to say that when a kid, and innocent kid, grows up in an unhealthy environment....it can fuck him/her up royally and as such we should be sympethetic towards the kid despite behavior he shows even if the behavior itself is deplorable. Kids react to negative environments in different ways and none of us know how we would end up if we experienced the same circumstances. My mom grew up with an abusive mother who would do dispicable things to them when her dad was not around....and always in a way that would conceal itself from him ever finding out(kinda makes me think this kid may be abused by his mother even if the father doesn't know) cause he would have left her and taken the kids away if he'd ever known his wife was harming the children behind his back. Anyway, the point is....my mom ended up fine. She became a functional member of society and was a great mother to me. Her sister on the other hand is royally F'ed in the head. Cant's grandson needs to get out of this environmnent ASAP. And yes, therapy is definitely needed imo to help him deal with the relationship he has with his mother(and to some degree his father).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From all accounts so far, it sounds like this kid needs to spend less time around his family, not more. Is transferring to another school possible, if he's having trouble at school? Or further investigate what problems he is having at school, possibly with bullying or estrangement from his peers. At least get the kid into some sort of activity with kids his own age. Youth orchestra or something, since he's not into sports? Art classes? (Since you're in the Bay Area, maybe a class at the Cartoon Art Museum since he likes manga?) Further isolation doesn't sound like it's going to help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Services for children that are available. You will most likely have to check with his insurance provider. I know in some states the county of residence will pay for these services if there is need and health insurance does not cover it. Sometimes the school has access to these services. From Cant's words the biggest issues I see surround emotional regulation, poor boundaries, and the ability to socialize with others. I would also say that there is some over sexualized behavior. I hate responding in-depth to these kind of threads, because someone who is a professional. Here are some resources that could help with your son. (Also, from what I gather Cant, your daughter was well adjusted and very intelligent. She might not have needed opportunities to socialize with other children. I am afraid your grandson may not have these skills and will not be best served by removing him from natural opportunities to practice.)

Any who services options:

Therapy. This can be individual, family, outpatient, or in-home.

Skills Building. Similar to therapy, this can be outpatient or in-home. Sometimes this can be done through the school. They help children work through various social skills or other ILS.

Social Skills Groups. There are organizations that also have social skills group where they gather kids together to practice how to socialize. If it is taken to hear, I have seen it work.

Psychiatry. Medication management

Mentoring. Sometimes being around another adult provides opportunities for socializing and role modeling (Big Brothers is tough to get into, Boys to Men is pretty good though)

There are also organizations that also arrange work or social programs, they are very valuable in the summer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't realize Zoo Rape Kid was in my backyard. Hmph.

There's a lot scarier things in SF to worry about than my grandson :P Like the Church of Satan, that group of guys that masturbate together, men walking around in leather thongs with animal costumes...

Gotta love SF.

far fewer young girls to photograph secretly in homeschool environment, as i understand it. perhaps the lad has in fact turned over a new leaf.

Very good point. Though if he doesn't respect the privacy of others and still has this voyeur kink, there's no doubt he'll still be able to take pictures in public. The other day when I was in the grocery store, one of the workers, a teenage girl, was bent down to restock a shelf, and this guy in his 30s was standing behind her, seemingly taking a picture with his phone. Maybe voyeurism is more popular than I knew, and I just never paid attention before.

I don't think it's so much giving excuses for the kid to do what he wants. Obviously there are and should be consequences. I just think Darko's trying to say that when a kid, and innocent kid, grows up in an unhealthy environment....it can fuck him/her up royally and as such we should be sympethetic towards the kid despite behavior he shows even if the behavior itself is deplorable. Kids react to negative environments in different ways and none of us know how we would end up if we experienced the same circumstances. My mom grew up with an abusive mother who would do dispicable things to them when her dad was not around....and always in a way that would conceal itself from him ever finding out(kinda makes me think this kid may be abused by his mother even if the father doesn't know) cause he would have left her and taken the kids away if he'd ever known his wife was harming the children behind his back. Anyway, the point is....my mom ended up fine. She became a functional member of society and was a great mother to me. Her sister on the other hand is royally F'ed in the head. Cant's grandson needs to get out of this environmnent ASAP. And yes, therapy is definitely needed imo to help him deal with the relationship he has with his mother(and to some degree his father).

This is why I always try to be understanding of someone's actions and opinions, no matter how despicable or distasteful I find them. People are products of their environment, and how someone's thoughts, beliefs, and consequently actions, are going to be shaped by their surroundings is too incomprehensibly complex to judge. Some people survive bad home or social environments unscathed, while others are scarred figuratively and literally by their experiences, and it is no fault of theirs. There's nothing to do but be accepting, understanding, and try to help the person change for the better. Consequences should exist to reinforce behavior, but people shouldn't be blamed for how their environments shaped them; we're all slaves to cause and effect.

Spending the day with my grandson was great, and he really loved Japantown. I got him a textbook, and he's going to start studying the language on his own until his parents and I can maybe find him a tutor. He mostly got manga which is something called "yowee"(I'm not sure how to spell it) which he says are male-on-male relationships, sexual and romantic. I don't see that as evidence for him being bi, just that he has an interest in the genre. Watching Brokeback Mountain and enjoying it hardly makes a man gay or bi, after all :P

The school situation is basically this: he has very few friends at school, is getting picked on and made fun of by many of his classmates, rejected by all the girls he has had crushes on, and is unhappy with all his teachers and subjects. It's just not an enjoyable situation for him at all, and he might very well be happier doing home school. I'd want to find him a program similar to the one my daughter used, where he meets with a teacher once a week to take tests and go over his work, and assign material for the next week, and just completes it on his own. He's a smart kid, and should be able to do it on his own without the parents teaching. If he's home all day though it's likely he'd spend all his time online, so need to find him activities.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The school situation is basically this: he has very few friends at school, is getting picked on and made fun of by many of his classmates, rejected by all the girls he has had crushes on, and is unhappy with all his teachers and subjects. It's just not an enjoyable situation for him at all,

Welcome to junior high.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The school situation is basically this: he has very few friends at school, is getting picked on and made fun of by many of his classmates, rejected by all the girls he has had crushes on, and is unhappy with all his teachers and subjects.

That probably describes how most of us felt in junior high, I think most of us are better off now for not having been given our way back then.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He mostly got manga which is something called "yowee"(I'm not sure how to spell it) which he says are male-on-male relationships, sexual and romantic.

I think it's spelled "yaoi" and it's basically gay porn made by chicks for other chicks. It's very weird for adolescent guys to be interested in it. I'm going to refrain from writing an entire post about how the emasculation of his father might have influenced this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The school situation is basically this: he has very few friends at school, is getting picked on and made fun of by many of his classmates, rejected by all the girls he has had crushes on, and is unhappy with all his teachers and subjects. It's just not an enjoyable situation for him at all, and he might very well be happier doing home school. I'd want to find him a program similar to the one my daughter used, where he meets with a teacher once a week to take tests and go over his work, and assign material for the next week, and just completes it on his own. He's a smart kid, and should be able to do it on his own without the parents teaching. If he's home all day though it's likely he'd spend all his time online, so need to find him activities.

Honestly, your grandson sounds like he needs to learn more about how to deal with people, not how to avoid them, and school is where most people learn it. Are there no other schools in the area? Though I don't know if changing schools would really make that much of a difference; from everything you've recounted, he has difficulties overall with what could loosely be described as his coping strategies, and a new school won't change that. Are there no teachers he likes? No subjects he's interested in despite the teacher? No sports or other activities he's good at? Does he feel like the school counsellor might be sympathetic enough for him to talk to about his school problems (setting aside the other issues)?

eta:

Welcome to junior high.

And this. I've left most of high school on the cutting room floor for the film of my life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That probably describes how most of us felt in junior high, I think most of us are better off now for not having been given our way back then.

Totally agree. As horrible an experience junior high is, it helps shape the person you will become. There are tons of critical social lessons that can only be taught in an adverse environment as junior high. The last lesson that should be taught is to run away from a challenge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The school situation is basically this: he has very few friends at school, is getting picked on and made fun of by many of his classmates, rejected by all the girls he has had crushes on, and is unhappy with all his teachers and subjects. It's just not an enjoyable situation for him at all, and he might very well be happier doing home school.

Tell him to man up and deal with it. I think every teenage guy has felt like this at some point. I was an outcast in middle school, and even though I learned to make friends outside of my class, those were hard years. But I got over it.

This may sound really callous, but you do not want to indulge your grandson all the time, protect him from challenges in life, and watch him end up becoming like his father.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He mostly got manga which is something called "yowee"(I'm not sure how to spell it) which he says are male-on-male relationships, sexual and romantic. I don't see that as evidence for him being bi, just that he has an interest in the genre. Watching Brokeback Mountain and enjoying it hardly makes a man gay or bi, after all :P

You got your grandson yaoi.....

God this thread delivers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to junior high.

Indeed.

And look, you can have an argument about whether that kind of atmosphere SHOULD have to be endured (since you'll find scads of people who will tell you it can be), the larger issue I'd say is pulling him out of school just separates him from the only part of his life that isn't fucked up.

You would be removing the only social outlet besides his family he has. And while school may not be great for him right now, it can get better and it's still better then his home life it seems.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, but a Googles search shows that there exist interesting father rapes son yaoi... :unsure:

Weeeell... depends on the series, actually. Seriously, stuff ranges from FAKE! (Buddy cop/crime drama/wacky antics/budding gay romance) to Kizuna (Yakuza family drama / gay relationships) to BRONZE (obsessive gay codependence/BDSM/mutilation etc.). Pretty much anything in between plus more to both extremes of the spectrum. Still, the subject matter, style and such certainly do favor a female target audience, what with the focus on cute boys and handsome men. If it floats his boat, I don't see anything wrong with that, but just try and make sure to keep the more graphic stuff away. Dunno about the States, but some of the more graphic/hardcore stuff is shrinkwrapped exactly because it's not intended for sale to minors.

Damn, my first post in regards to this whole shebang, and it's about gay erotica...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...