Crazydog7 Posted December 9, 2010 Share Posted December 9, 2010 At his age, I(and many of my friends) wrote some pretty depraved crap. In no way were we writing about any secret desires, it was all about shock value and humour(very sick humour), but pretty common at that age. Never seen a mother involved in such stories though, that's new to me. But judging by what was written, it doesn't sound like the kid has any erotic feelings towards his mother so much as a lot of hatred. If his stories are any kind of representation of his feelings, it sounds like he truly hates her. Get the kid some help and somebody needs to confront the mother(and father).I remember when I was around this kid's age I was abusing myself and when the moment came the image of my mother flashed through my head. Now this freaked me out to such a degree I didn't do that activity for the better two months. Fortunately I had older cousins, if not older brothers and if was very much the scene out of Parenthood "Yeah little dude that can happen" Now as far as the murder/torture domination fantasy? No flipping clue but Not the strangest thing I've ever heard. Much healthy 12 year olds would go completely catatonic if they had cause to think of their mother in a sexual connotation. Man what is it about this series of threads that makes me want to say something to effect of "yeah its fucked but he can still be saved" I told Cantabile something I haven't told anyone in 15 years. What possessed me? Even if he is fishing for ideas for a book (extreme scenario) this whole situation does have a ring of honesty to it. Fuck it equal opportunity if anyone is interested in story of why I don't consider this should a big fat hairy deal PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantabile Posted December 9, 2010 Author Share Posted December 9, 2010 Couldn't say it better (srsly I couldn't).If a twelve year old writes some zoo-rape-tube-ass porn story about his mother he is a SERIOUS issue with her which also means that she has a serious issue with him...so well yeah put them into therapy before things go real bad.The one problem with putting them into therapy, is that from my understanding one has to be willing to change for it to be effective, just like AA meetings don't do much good if the person has no intent on quitting. Cruella is not going to change; I've talked to her own parents on multiple occasions, and her mother said that she was incredibly manipulative and prone to rage since she was a child even. Being a bitch to other human beings is too much a part of who she is to change it.How my grandson can possibly get through this if the mom is unwilling to participate, I don't know. She's agreed to counseling, but I'm extremely skeptical of how seriously she's going to take it. She mainly thinks only her son needs it, and not her too. Really glad that things might be on the upturn. I'm guessing that you and your grandson have a close relationship?We're close, though we don't get to see each other all that often. I'm trying to see him much more often now, though.Today I was thinking that maybe getting him a gym membership would be a good idea. Could be something to take up his time, and exercise should be a much healthier outlet for all this rage he has inside him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spastic Plastic Posted December 9, 2010 Share Posted December 9, 2010 Being a bitch to other human beings is too much a part of who she is to change it.How my grandson can possibly get through this if the mom is unwilling to participate, I don't know. She's agreed to counseling, but I'm extremely skeptical of how seriously she's going to take it. She mainly thinks only her son needs it, and not her too. Like I said. The sooner his mom is separated from him, the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blaine Posted December 9, 2010 Share Posted December 9, 2010 The one problem with putting them into therapy, is that from my understanding one has to be willing to change for it to be effective, just like AA meetings don't do much good if the person has no intent on quitting. Cruella is not going to change; I've talked to her own parents on multiple occasions, and her mother said that she was incredibly manipulative and prone to rage since she was a child even. Being a bitch to other human beings is too much a part of who she is to change it.How my grandson can possibly get through this if the mom is unwilling to participate, I don't know. She's agreed to counseling, but I'm extremely skeptical of how seriously she's going to take it. She mainly thinks only her son needs it, and not her too. Honestly, you have to take a step back here and look at this logically. It's his mother.She's not going away and despite how much you're pinning EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of this on her, she can't be 100% pure evil spawned straight from Hell. There has to be some good in this person and as someone advocating for your grandson, you need to find it, if you want him to have a chance at getting healthier.Also, I'm assuming you don't trashtalk about Cruella quite as bad around your grandson as you are doing here - but I'm sure how much you dislike her comes across to your grandson. That can't help the situation either. Honestly, the grownups in this kid's life need to have a come-to-Jesus meeting and get on one page. Find a therapist. First, for the kid. Then take his/her advice on how to proceed. But this "She's never do it, she's do evil she actually flew Luftwaffe in WWII for the Nazis" attitude isn't going to help grandson one bit. That's always going to be his mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gryphon strike Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 It sucks that the way that his parents found out about it was through snooping, but it's going to end up being more damaging in the long run for the kid to find out that not only was his father snooping, but then made up ridiculous lies to cover it up. If they do get into counseling, he's going to end up knowing that his parents must have looked on his computer.No kid has a right to unlimited internet access without parental supervision, and this is a place where I think a parent is perfectly justified in simply saying that he changed his mind about letting his son have a computer in his own room without having to make up any excuses or give any justification except that it's time to set boundaries. "Son, I need to talk to you. I looked at your computer files and I'm sorry that I violated your trust in that way. It is my fault for not setting up rules about computer use. However, I saw some things that worried me..." I think that's a much better way to approach the issue than telling the kid they're shutting off the internet in the entire house because they have financial issues.Really well said Eponine.I think most of us realise that trust issues are one of the major problems here.With re to the password protected computer what are the odds that it is something like arsehole?I mean the kid did it because he was pissed off at the father so ......What worries me is not so much the nature of the stories but rather the targets of them, kids who feel powerless and alone do tend to write out nasty stories about people, depending on age depends on what sort of story.Would it be so sick for a kid of 7 to say his teacher was eaten by snakes?So no it is not so much the type of story but the targets of it that worry me.There are clearly some serious issues within that home that need addressing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stego Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Why would one need to apologize for breaking the trust of a kid jerking off on his mother's leg? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balefont Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 The one problem with putting them into therapy, is that from my understanding one has to be willing to change for it to be effective, just like AA meetings don't do much good if the person has no intent on quitting. Cruella is not going to change; I've talked to her own parents on multiple occasions, and her mother said that she was incredibly manipulative and prone to rage since she was a child even. Being a bitch to other human beings is too much a part of who she is to change it.How my grandson can possibly get through this if the mom is unwilling to participate, I don't know. She's agreed to counseling, but I'm extremely skeptical of how seriously she's going to take it. She mainly thinks only her son needs it, and not her too. Yeah, my boss's bitch ex-wife doesn't believe she is in any way a root cause of her son's mental health issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Kilmore Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 The one problem with putting them into therapy, is that from my understanding one has to be willing to change for it to be effective, just like AA meetings don't do much good if the person has no intent on quitting. Cruella is not going to change; I've talked to her own parents on multiple occasions, and her mother said that she was incredibly manipulative and prone to rage since she was a child even. Being a bitch to other human beings is too much a part of who she is to change it.How my grandson can possibly get through this if the mom is unwilling to participate, I don't know. She's agreed to counseling, but I'm extremely skeptical of how seriously she's going to take it. She mainly thinks only her son needs it, and not her too. We're close, though we don't get to see each other all that often. I'm trying to see him much more often now, though.Today I was thinking that maybe getting him a gym membership would be a good idea. Could be something to take up his time, and exercise should be a much healthier outlet for all this rage he has inside him.A obstinate parent can be a huge obstacle to therapy. With that said, a good therapist will be able to help your Grandson find ways of coping with his mother, if she is unwilling to participate. We know the direction things are going without any intervention.Also, what Blaine said is 100% accurate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shryke Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 I just caught up with this and .... goddamn Cantible, you need a hug. :grouphug: So does your son and grandson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snake Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Why would one need to apologize for breaking the trust of a kid jerking off on his mother's leg?I was wondering that myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrellius Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 The Grandsons tantrum of locking the main pc could be a useful tool in dragging the whole messy situation into the light.Father could say he needed to email work and used the kids pc while he was at school and then discovered all the erotica/stories. He was so disturbed by the fact he asked a pc literate friend of his to take a look at the internet usage and discovered the rest (Starcraft Pedo/hentai/etc etc)That being said, unless the kid is exceptionally dull, he is well aware that something funny is going on with relation to his internet usage. Maybe pussy-footing around isn't the way to go. The situation may have gone past this stage, but its been kinda hard keeping up with all the shit going down in Cantible's sons home. Good luck dealing with all this Cantible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazydog7 Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Why would one need to apologize for breaking the trust of a kid jerking off on his mother's leg?Oh God that's great I'm going to put that on my Sig. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Nan Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Why would one need to apologize for breaking the trust of a kid jerking off on his mother's leg?A good question. It won't be something the kid ever forgives or forgets in any case, so why bother with an "apology"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mme Erzulie Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Fuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantabile Posted December 10, 2010 Author Share Posted December 10, 2010 Why would one need to apologize for breaking the trust of a kid jerking off on his mother's leg?An eye for an eye will make the world blind, two wrongs don't make a right, and all that jazz. Breaking someone's trust isn't acceptable simply because that person broke your trust first.Yeah, my boss's bitch ex-wife doesn't believe she is in any way a root cause of her son's mental health issues.Currently not only is the mother not accepting any responsibility, she is pinning everything on the father. Whenever issues arise now she just says, "He's your son, you deal with it" <_< It seems like my grandson can't go a single day now without showing some sort of problem. This morning he once again barricaded himself inside his room, refusing to go to school, and begging them to let him homeschool. My son doesn't know if he's simply throwing a tantrum due to no longer having private computer access, or if he's having more problems with the school such as being bullied. He's already missed so many days of school this year due to refusing to go and faking being sick. Now there's a meeting with the parents, my grandson, and his teachers scheduled for tomorrow...I am not sure if that'll accomplish much, but it's better than nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jurble Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 Boy needs help. I suggest fantasy and sci-fi books, but not gritty stuff. Like, stuff like the Belgariad and the Drizzt books, or Star Wars novels. If he thinks his life is bad, maybe healthy escapism will help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantabile Posted December 10, 2010 Author Share Posted December 10, 2010 I think he'd enjoy SoIF, but I don't really want him to find this forum. Perhaps writing would be a good form of escapism, so long as he doesn't write more erotica. I'll look up some books suitable for a 12 year old, Christmas is coming up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaak Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 An eye for an eye will make the world blind, two wrongs don't make a right, and all that jazz. Breaking someone's trust isn't acceptable simply because that person broke your trust first.And that´s not the bigger reason. He may deserve having his trust broken, but you need his trust. You will be caught at breaking his trust, therefore you need to plan towards earning his trust back.It seems to me that his father has not broken his trust by directly lying to him. The father caught him sniffing, he replied with snooping and seeing where it went, he never promised not to snoop.But the aunt has broken his trust by direct lies. Claiming that his father got pictures in phone bills, and assuring him that the father was sure the boy would not do this and the pictures must have been made by his friends. Blatant lies, and she was making these lies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spastic Plastic Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 I think he'd enjoy SoIF, but I don't really want him to find this forum.No shit, Sherlock. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swordfish Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 An eye for an eye will make the world blind, two wrongs don't make a right, and all that jazz. Breaking someone's trust isn't acceptable simply because that person broke your trust first.I don't necessarily want to get too off topic on this, but trust is earned and not given.The kid vacated his claim to any trust when he stopped being, well, trustworthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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