Antonius Pius Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 In terms of involuntary hilarity, which is the best book to choose?I have always found the nipple magic to be particularly mind-numbing. And people of Nicobarese, who almost speak Midland but they can't remember to say "I am" but "I be". So Blood of the Fold's got my vote. If death-choosers actually do vote, that is.Yeah excet for the whole statue plot where richard carves himself into a hunk of marble and he is so beautiful it inspires people to weep and be free. Yes, how grandly stupid. Revolution by statue. Too bad the good folk of Iran haven't got any statues that celebrate life and the beauty of objectivism.Don't forget the part where the supposedly good characters fall asleep to the screams of someone being tortured to feel better about losing their friend.Yes, to appease Sister Verna. The tortured fella had killed Warren, and then demanded to be executed because he had done his duty to the order and the Rahlians had to uphold their part of his deal...The more I think about the Yeard's "work", the stupider I feel... :shocked: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Actually Richard did accept their surrender. Kahlan wanted to kill them all.Why do I remember this...I just realized that Kahlan and Richard's Empire are basically what it would look like if Gregor and Cersei were married and ran their own war machine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoë Sumra Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I just realized that Kahlan and Richard's Empire are basically what it would look like if Gregor and Cersei were married and ran their own war machine.Ohhh, the mental images. :shocked: :stillsick: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkynJay Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Ahh, the sweat, sweat sound of someone being flayed alive. I know ill sleep better.Maybe the next portion of this thread should be ----THE BIGGEST ATROCITIES BY THE GOOD GUYS!-Killing all peace protesters-Feeding a man his testies- Torture is FUN-where else can this go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sologdin Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 if Gregor and Cersei were married that's the plot of asoiaf book VI, right? ungregor rescues cersei from the stake, launcelot-style; they marry, crush their enemies, and live happily ever after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grack21 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Ahh, the sweat, sweat sound of someone being flayed alive. I know ill sleep better.Maybe the next portion of this thread should be ----THE BIGGEST ATROCITIES BY THE GOOD GUYS!-Killing all peace protesters-Feeding a man his testies- Torture is FUN-where else can this go? The rape pit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosciuszko Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 lol I'd almost forgotten the rape-pit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkynJay Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 The rape pit.But did our glorious hero and his wife make use of the pit? I just remember Khalan being thrown in one and zapping the biggest guy so she would have a protector. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecchi-Oni Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 The Chicken, don't forget the Chicken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grack21 Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 But did our glorious hero and his wife make use of the pit? I just remember Khalan being thrown in one and zapping the biggest guy so she would have a protector. It's been a while and I don't plan to reread these ever, but I recall one of the "heroes" throwing one of the "villains" into the rape pit. Possibly his sister? It all blurs together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ecchi-Oni Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 It's been a while and I don't plan to reread these ever, but I recall one of the "heroes" throwing one of the "villains" into the rape pit. Possibly his sister? It all blurs together.I think Klan was about to throw her (half?)sister back into a rape pit or something like that. Think it was the book that had the naked whitewash covered boobies army attacking a fortified position in winter in mountains and winning with only loosing some redshirts(also naked and covered in whitewash). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 I think Klan was about to throw her (half?)sister back into a rape pit or something like that. Think it was the book that had the naked whitewash covered boobies army attacking a fortified position in winter in mountains and winning with only loosing some redshirts(also naked and covered in whitewash).I think it was the same one too.Basically, what had happened was that the Queen was the ruler of a small kingdom that Richard wanted to conquer. After she was gang-raped by a gang of criminals, she gave Kahlan her crown so that she (the Queen) could have time to recover. Kahlan, being a noble superhero, turns around and annexes the kingdom into Richard's empire. When the Queen sends a diplomat to complain, Kahlan declares her and her diplomat guilty of treason, threatens to throw the sister back into the pit of criminals to be raped to death (yes, that's what she actually said) and then murders the diplomat -- who had behaved with civility, integrity, and respect towards Kahlan no matter how unreasonable her threats and demands became.Yeah, these two are definitely Gregor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik of Hazelfield Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Not only that, but said diplomat was also said queen's brother, and Kahlan's half brother. Here's the quote, in all its unholy glory: http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/11101-goodkind-x-lemmings-of-discord/page__st__260__p__423653#entry423653 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valarr Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Not only that, but said diplomat was also said queen's brother, and Kahlan's half brother. Here's the quote, in all its unholy glory: http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/11101-goodkind-x-lemmings-of-discord/page__st__260__p__423653#entry423653 :stillsick: I'm contemplating life of alcoholism to erase this from my memory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faraday Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Could someone sum up how this series ends (I read up till the last book, which while hilarious was all my friend had in the series, and well I wasn't going to actually buy the series).I vaguely remember Richard going to join a football team to save his wife(?) who'd lost her memory somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Here you go, Moosicus has done the honours to save us all. That's the mark of a true altruistic death-chooser. :bowdown: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkynJay Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 And if that is too long ill bullet point it.-Nicci gets anti-magic collar on the Emperor. Then kills him.-Richard discovers that everything everyone learned in each book was BS, a distraction, and nothing else. -Sword of Truth is the only magic that matters, and suddenly Richard KNOWS how to use the Box of Ordin, which turns him into GOD.-Richard makes two worlds, one with magic, and one for bad selling sequels, and lets people pick where to live(I'm guessing their survey comes in the mail?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faraday Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 And if that is too long ill bullet point it.-Nicci gets anti-magic collar on the Emperor. Then kills him.-Richard discovers that everything everyone learned in each book was BS, a distraction, and nothing else. -Sword of Truth is the only magic that matters, and suddenly Richard KNOWS how to use the Box of Ordin, which turns him into GOD.-Richard makes two worlds, one with magic, and one for bad selling sequels, and lets people pick where to live(I'm guessing their survey comes in the mail?)I knew there was a reason I liked Goodking. This is amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Monkey Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 It's funny how so much better the TV show was. I only was ever able to see like three episodes of it, but Richard and Kahlan seemed like genuinely decent people and there was actually suspense since none of the three main characters were invincible. It was still a cliche-ridden copy of Xena, but you could tell that there were competent writers involved at some stage of the creative process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faraday Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 I thought the tv show was crap too, but at least it didn't seem to take itself very seriously (well from what I've seen anyway) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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