Elia & Rhaegar

[Kuther2000]

Actually little was a figure of speech. It wasn't referring to how tall he is. This is also my description of Rhaegar not Elia's maybe she liked the fact that he was sensitive.

You are defining everything in modern world terms which is not reasonable. No one said that Rhaegar couldn't be with Lyanna, he just shouldn't have stumped over his wife's reputation in worth to do with it. Even if Rhaegar's friends didn't believe that Elia was worthy of him, their opinions didn't matter. I am pretty sure that if they had known what would have happened because he fell in love with Lyanna. They would have probably tried to stop them. Like you said whose to say that if he was married to a healthier woman than Elia that he would not have done the same thing to her. Just because you are in love with someone doesn't mean that you stay in love with them. People grow and change. Doran and his wife married for love but they fell out of it later on after marriage. It happens. So what if Rhaegar had won the Trident and got Lyanna, than he fell out of love with her. Well okay, he can get rid of her too. Have you ever heard of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn?

If you go on the basis that a person can get a divorce anytime that they get tired, then it defeats the whole point of how their society works. These practices build alliances and it keeps structure in their world. I am thinking of this in terms of Westeros culture without putting my modern viewpoint in it.

No one is saying that he shouldn't have his affair and kept Lyanna as a mistress, but he should have not ran away with her.

Bearing another man's child is what got Cersei in the mess that she is in. If the children were Robert's and actually looked like him, no one would have questioned their parentage. It is the fact that the children are not Robert's is what's wrong and why Stannis is at war with the Iron Throne. Alot of other people such as Ned and maybe Robert would still be alive if Cersei had had Robert's children. They are at War because of this. You can't deny it. Stannis would probably not have gone to war if the children were actually Robert's. The Seven Kingdoms is in chaos because of this.

[Winterfell is Burning]

But Elia, unlike Rhaegar was given a choice in who she could've married. She could've married baelor hightower if she wanted to or any of the dozens of other guys who proposed to her. She didn't and she chose rhaegar. And I somehow doubt she have been killed (unless it was due to aerys being a loon). Nobody is killing jeyne westerling and after the red wedding she's publicly declaring her love for an attained traitor to the crown.

Nobody denies the heir to the Iron Throne. From the moment that option is on the table, her mother made it for her. And either way she thought she was marrying the handsome and nice prince, not the man that publically humiliates her in front of the entire realm and starts a war in which she's made hostage in the Red Keep. Uh, that sounds a lot like Sansa and Joffrey if you think about it...

Plus, like LordBloodraven says, her mother was setting her up with Jaime. It's quite likely Elia never had a choice in the first place, only the illusion of that, just like Arianne didn't had it either.

And you really think that in a series set in the medieval world a woman married to the heir of the Kingdom can publically declare loving someone else, or even publically sleep around, without major consequences?

. When Robb is 15 he's a boy, but when Lyanna is 15 she's a teenager. Nice consistency there.

What I meant is that Rhaegar, a grown man, gets a pass from running off with a 15 year old girl, but Robb, a teenage boy in grief and under tremendous pressure, is much more criticized.

Well we have no idea if this is true or not. You might want to make fewer bets regarding behavior that there is no way to predict.

Of course there is: Rhaegar did not resigned when he run off with Lyanna, did not resigned when he returned to the Red Keep, and every action he did then was to secure the throne for himself.

All of these examples contain substantial difference than the rhaegar lyanna situation.

All of those by duty couldn't marry the people they wanted, so they chose duty instead.

[ARYa_Nym]

What should have happened was this: Elia is too sickly to provide more heirs. He had only one son at this point.

Go to Aerys and use this as a means to take another wife.

The problem is that Aerys is unpredictable and suspicious of Rhaegar.

Robert might not have been able to be appeased in this situation either.

Rickard had Southron ambitions but we don't know exactly what those were so we can't say that he would be delighted at the prospect of his grandchild being next in line for the Iron Throne after Aegon.

Cersei and Kevan Lannister said that if he had married her he would have never needed Lyanna. It's not clear but he probably would have had the 3 children he wanted if Aerys hadn't rejected the match but not necessarily the PWWP if the mother needs to be a Stark.

[Jem]

I brought up divorce because that's what would occur in the modern world. Rheagar would've divorced elia to be with lyanna. Sadly they are constrained by the society they live in, where they are both in loveless marriages and they don't have the opportunity to do this. Yes, the prudent thing to do for rhaegar would have been to suck it up and be with a women who he didn't love and who his friends considered unworthy of him, but I don't think it was immoral for them to run off together, if that's the only way they saw as possible to be together.

[...]

I would say it is totally okay. Especially in light of Robert's infidelity, but even without it. It was totally okay for Cersei to have a consenual relationship with the man she loved rather than the man her father chose for her. Cersei did many terrible things in the series (falsye stokeworth), but bearing the children of a man who loved her rather than one who abused her was not one them.

It is also okay for lysa tully to cheat on jon arryn (but not okay of her to murder him) and its okay for genna lannister to cheat on emmon frey and its would've been okay for edmure to cheat on his wife. I don't think its wrong to be unfaithful to a person when you didn't choose to marry them and are forced to by your family.

Yes, they are constrained by the society they live in. It isn't the free lovin' of the '60s. Whether they like it or not these people are married to people that they don't necessarily love. But we are talking about high lords and ladies, princes and princesses, kings and queens. These people know duty. Or at least they should. They would have been raised knowing that they would marry for duty, not love. It isn't a surprise to them.

And sure, they might find love with someone who isn't their spouse, but duty must override everything, otherwise society as they know it will fall apart. You can't risk offending your spouse's birth family by cheating on them, that could start a war, hardly a moral thing to do. If you are a woman, you can't cheat on your husband - especially if you are the queen - because you risk ruining his line of succession. It is hardly a moral thing to do - whether you are talking about in Westeros or in real life - to pass of another man's child as your husbands. At least in real life we have effective contraceptives to hopefully prevent unwanted children and DNA tests for men to prove that children aren't theirs. And if you are a man, it is not moral to abandon your wife, especially if there are children invovled and especially in Westeros where a woman hasn't the means or the skills to keep and protect herself.

[mediocre cheese]

Average Cheese, we don't even know if Elia wanted to marry Rhaegar. If you are referring to Elia's tour with Oberyn, do not forget that it was all set-up: Lady Lannister wanted Elia to marry Jaime and if possible Cersei to Oberyn. They had the illusion of choosing but their mothers were running things.

No, we know she had the opportunity to marry baelor hightower and didn't. We don't know what would've happened had she not wanted to marry jaime or rhaegar. Based on that she was allowed to refuse baelor hightower, I imagine her mother would've let her refuse them.

Nobody denies the heir to the Iron Throne. From the moment that option is on the table, her mother made it for her.

This is just wrong. Olenna tyrell got out of a targaryen marriage.

Like you said whose to say that if he was married to a healthier woman than Elia that he would not have done the same thing to her. Just because you are in love with someone doesn't mean that you stay in love with them. People grow and change. Doran and his wife married for love but they fell out of it later on after marriage. It happens. So what if Rhaegar had won the Trident and got Lyanna, than he fell out of love with her. Well okay, he can get rid of her too. Have you ever heard of Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn?

Maybe he would've. And lyanna should consider this before agreeing to a relationship with him. But if she does consider this and decides she wants to be with him anyway, than good for them.

Bearing another man's child is what got Cersei in the mess that she is in. If the children were Robert's and actually looked like him, no one would have questioned their parentage. It is the fact that the children are not Robert's is what's wrong and why Stannis is at war with the Iron Throne. Alot of other people such as Ned and maybe Robert would still be alive if Cersei had had Robert's children. They are at War because of this. You can't deny it. Stannis would probably not have gone to war if the children were actually Robert's. The Seven Kingdoms is in chaos because of this.

Renly doesn't care whether or not Joffrey is Robert's son (he assumes he is). And all the stormlords and the reach follow him. The 7 kingdoms would've still gone to war whether or not joffrey is jaime's or roberts. It just would be a different Baratheon fighting joffrey. The reason is simple, Robert has no biological claim to the throne, his claim is based on strength. Once this happens, there will be others (like Renly) who will try and do the same.

Its actually lucky that stannis goes to war, as had he stayed out of war Renly would've brought the entire tyrell host against the crown. Instead because they dislike stannis they fight for the crown against stannis.

Yes, they are constrained by the society they live in. It isn't the free lovin' of the '60s. Whether they like it or not these people are married to people that they don't necessarily love. But we are talking about high lords and ladies, princes and princesses, kings and queens. These peopleknow duty. Or at least they should. They would have been raised knowing that they would marry for duty, not love. It isn't a surprise to them

Right and in the medieval world the attitude was that aristocrats and lords were inherently better than common people. Tyrion falling in love with a crofter's daughter would've been seen as weak. His longing for her would be mocked and ridiculed. Look at how Ned and everyone view Edmure for wanting to protect his common people. That doesn't mean we as readers can't view it through the eyes of modern people and trying to protect your common people is the right thing to do, even if the wise course would be to do what brynden did and expel all the useless mouths.

In truth the characters are 20th century characters put in a quasi-medieval setting, just as the characters of Ivanhoe are 19th century characters in a medieval setting. We should be aware the characters are in a medieval setting but I still think you have to look at their actions through a modern light.

[LordBloodraven]

She didn't (couldn't) refuse Baelor Hightower. They were visiting Oldtown and many other seats as well, to finish at Casterly Rock, where Lady Lannister and Martell wanted their kids to be married. Elia couldn't say, "fine, mother I'll marry Baelor (or any other lordling)", if she said it, it wouldn't matter. They were visiting solely those Houses, I think it's clearly stated in the books. Elia didn't have a choice, and it's the same for Cersei (when her father wanted to ship her with Rhaegar even though she wanted it), Rhaegar, Eddard, Catelyn, Lysa, Daenerys (with Drogo).....

[mediocre cheese]

[baelor Hightower. A pretty lad, and my sister was half in love with him until he had the misfortune to fart once in our presence. I promptly named him Baelor Breakwind, and after that Elia couldn’t look at him without laughing.... Had Elia wed him in place of Rhaegar Targaryen, she might be in Oldtown with her children growing tall around her. He wondered how many lives had been snuffed out by that fart.]

The way its written its pretty clear that absent the dude farting she would've married him. I think its pretty clear she was given an option and she chose not to marry him, because he farted.

[ARYa_Nym]

Renly doesn't care whether or not Joffrey is Robert's son (he assumes he is). And all the stormlords and the reach follow him. The 7 kingdoms would've still gone to war whether or not joffrey is jaime's or roberts. It just would be a different Baratheon fighting joffrey. The reason is simple, Robert has no biological claim to the throne, his claim is based on strength. Once this happens, there will be others (like Renly) who will try and do the same.

Its actually lucky that stannis goes to war, as had he stayed out of war Renly would've brought the entire tyrell host against the crown. Instead because they dislike stannis they fight for the crown against stannis.

That is true. Renly already wanted to have Cersei killed to be replaced by Margaery.

War was inevitable. Varys would have found a way to make his Blackfyre plot possible. Dany would eventually come and Dorne would still want vengeance.

[Kuther2000]

No you shouldn't look at it with modern eyes. You have to put yourself in their shoes. We can marry who we want. We are not held to the same standards as these characters.

Enough with the Baelor Hightower comments, you keep harping on Elia had a choice. The thing is Rhaegar would never have had the same choice. He would have been married to a foreign princess so now he can cheat on her and leave her to boot too. If you actually think about what Oberyn said, the Princess of Dorne wanted to actually marry her children to the Lannisters. This was who they were on their way to see when they met Baelor Hightower. Who is to say that after they realized that that wasn't going to work out, Elia didn't sleep on it for a while and decide to rethink about Baelor and his fartingwhen she got the news of her engagement to Rhaegar and her mother had already accepted. She couldn't exactly say no. So since situations are being brought up, this could be one and she just never told Oberyn because she knew it would be hopeless.

Now does she deserve to be humiliated.

Yes, war was inevitable but the factions wouldn't be as divided. Stannis would most likely be fighting for the Iron Throne which would create and even bigger army to take out Renly's if Cersei's kids were truly Roberts

Does anyone truly have a claim to the seven kingdoms? The Targaryens won by the strength of their dragons not because it was their rightful place. If one wants to get technical, then after the Targaryen's were ousted the next people in line for the succession are the Baratheons because their grandmother was a Targaryen princess and the daughter of Aegon V, and this makes them cousins of the current Targaryen's so that is where there claim comes from.

Rhaegar is a prince. He is in a position of power. It isn't about him. He has a duty and a responsibility to his people. He has to put the good of the people before his own desires. If Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna so much and knew that this conflicted with his duty and responsibility to his wife and people, then he could obviously abdicate and he and Lyanna could have gotten out of the Seven Kingdoms permentantly.

One more thing. Average Cheese. You seem to always be harping about how Elia is older than him. I checked and she is only 2 years older than him. Oh My God, he married an old lady compared to Lyanna being 9 years younger than him. Obviously her age is not the reason that he left her and to make it sound like it was a reason is dumb.

I realize now that no matter what type of actual logic that I have to back up my piece. You will still think that what Rhaegar did was okay. Our society doesn't like the idea of married men leaving their wives and running off with other women but we accept it because we can't change it.

[mediocre cheese]

One more thing. Average Cheese. You seem to always be harping about how Elia is older than him. I checked and she is only 2 years older than him. Oh My God, he married an old lady compared to Lyanna being 9 years younger than him. Obviously her age is not the reason that he left her and to make it sound like it was a reason is dumb.

I never once said she was older than rhaegar. Read every post I wrote in this entire thread. I don't think its relevant how old she was, and I never mentioned it. If your going to respond to my posts please take the time to read them and don't accuse me of "harping" on something I didn't ever bring up. And than you want to talk about actual logic. Can you even read? Find a single time I brought up her age before using the word dumb again.

No you shouldn't look at it with modern eyes. You have to put yourself in their shoes. We can marry who we want. We are not held to the same standards as these characters.

Enough with the Baelor Hightower comments, you keep harping on Elia had a choice. The thing is Rhaegar would never have had the same choice. He would have been married to a foreign princess so now he can cheat on her and leave her to boot too. If you actually think about what Oberyn said, the Princess of Dorne wanted to actually marry her children to the Lannisters. This was who they were on their way to see when they met Baelor Hightower. Who is to say that after they realized that that wasn't going to work out, Elia didn't sleep on it for a while and decide to rethink about Baelor and his fartingwhen she got the news of her engagement to Rhaegar and her mother had already accepted. She couldn't exactly say no. So since situations are being brought up, this could be one and she just never told Oberyn because she knew it would be hopeless.

Look if she couldn't have married baelor hightower, it would've said so, the text directly says she rejects him because he farted in her presence and she subsequently couldn't look at him without laughing. Its instructive because it shows that elia, like her siblings and the children of aegon the unlikely was given a choice of who she could marry. Your proposing a scenario that has no textual basis, whereas I'm directly quoting the text " how many lives had been snuffed out by that fart".

Based on everything we know Elia was given a choice in who to marry whereas Rhaegar wasn't. It's that simple.

Yes, war was inevitable but the factions wouldn't be as divided. Stannis would most likely be fighting for the Iron Throne which would create and even bigger army to take out Renly's if Cersei's kids were truly Roberts

No, Stannis commands the loyalty of a few small areas sworn to dragonstone. Even the stormlords who are ancestrally sworn to him refuse to follow him and go for renly instead. Because stannis is so unpopular his support for joffrey would've made little difference. Had Renly lived by contrast the whole strength of the reach would've fought against Joffrey and Cersei as opposed to with them. Stannis has essentially no followers, whereas renly has thousands.

Does anyone truly have a claim to the seven kingdoms? The Targaryens won by the strength of their dragons not because it was their rightful place. If one wants to get technical, then after the Targaryen's were ousted the next people in line for the succession are the Baratheons because their grandmother was a Targaryen princess and the daughter of Aegon V, and this makes them cousins of the current Targaryen's so that is where there claim comes from.

The targaryens have a blood claim, wheras Robert has a claim, but its not based on blood its based on force. By blood viserys is the rightful king and robert has exiled him and stolen his throne. Of course de facto might makes right, and that's exactly what Robert proved. Robert is king not because he has the best blood but because he won the battles. Therefor he's in charge while viserys is begging for handouts. The same is true for joffrey/tommen. No matter who their father was, once the precedent for overthrowing a king by force was established there are going to be others who try and seize the throne by force, as Renly does. They would have to use force to keep the throne.

I realize now that no matter what type of actual logic that I have to back up my piece. You will still think that what Rhaegar did was okay. Our society doesn't like the idea of married men leaving their wives and running off with other women but we accept it because we can't change it.

I do think what rhaegar did was okay. I think its okay to leave your wife if your not in love with her for a women you'd rather be with. I also think its okay for a married woman to leave her husband if she's in love with another man. The laws of the US also think its okay, hence why all 50 states have no fault divorce laws. As I mentioned earlier, my parents divorced when I was a child, and my father moved away and eventually remarried. It benefited everyone involved, he was much happier with his second wife and I and my brother were much happier without the constant fighting. But that's our society.

I think in terms of medieval society what Rheagar did was stupid and imprudent, considering how insane his father was and how possessive Robert was. Honestly though, had Aerys simply arrested brandon when brandon threatened to kill rhaegar and told rickard that Brandon would be sent back if Rickard guaranteed peace nothing would've happened other than robert being angry. Instead Aerys murdered rickard as well as jon arryn's nephew, causing the vale and the north to revolt. But yes, what rhaegar did was unwise. But I don't think it was wrong in the moral sense (he didn't know aerys was going to go crazy).

Rhaegar is a prince. He is in a position of power. It isn't about him. He has a duty and a responsibility to his people. He has to put the good of the people before his own desires. If Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna so much and knew that this conflicted with his duty and responsibility to his wife and people, then he could obviously abdicate and he and Lyanna could have gotten out of the Seven Kingdoms permentantly.

He felt his duty to his people included having more than 2 children. "The dragon needs another head", and isn't what your sugesting basically what he did, he went with lyanna to the tower of joy and left the administration of the kingdom in the hands of others. He only returned when it was clear that his father's lunacy had caused several lords paramount to revolt against the crown and his presence was needed to rally the loyal forces.

[ARYa_Nym]

I think it was okay if we go by medieval standards just not the way it was done and the girl he chose in particular caused problems.

I could see why he hid from everyone though.

In those times, you really should have more than one son. The more children you have the better. Lines can end so easily.

For example, Rickon works as a spare for Bran and Robb. The Arryns only have sickly SweetRobin. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't last. Stannis has no son and is relying on Shireen. I'm convinced that she will die. & I don't see anyone legitimizing Robert's bastards. You can have cousins or whoever to continue the line if available but it's not the same.

If he had chosen to run off with Cersei instead he could have prevented the rebellion. Tywin was waiting for Elia to die anyway. Aegon and Rhaenys probably would have had "accidents" so their deaths probably wouldn't have been prevented. Tywin would also want to get rid of Aerys to make Cersei a queen.

[Nightstar]

No one is saying that he shouldn't have his affair and kept Lyanna as a mistress, but he should have not ran away with her.

I think Robert and the Starks would say it!

I don't think they'd have accepted Rhaegar taking Lyanna as a mistress, even if it meant she'd be a royal mistress.

The Starks were too proud, and Robert too obsessed with Lyanna to go along with that (even if it was her own wish).

[Tini]

If he had chosen to run off with Cersei instead he could have prevented the rebellion. Tywin was waiting for Elia to die anyway. Aegon and Rhaenys probably would have had "accidents" so their deaths probably wouldn't have been prevented. Tywin would also want to get rid of Aerys to make Cersei a queen.

Maybe Robert and the Starks wouldn't have rebelled if he had made of with Cersei instead. Tywin would have started a rebellion. Just because he was waiting for Elia to die doesn't mean that he would have been fine with Rhaegar turning Cersei into a whore. His honor would have been too deeply affected, first by Aerys telling him that his family is not high-born enough for royal marriage, then by Rhaegar abducting Cersei, making her his mistress. People would have laughed at him, and he couldn't abide that. He would not have waited peacefully for a year before Rhaegar shows up again to make his intentions regarding Cersei known. I don't know if he would have registered complaint with Aerys about this (who would have toasted him), but Rhaegar would have been a dead man as soon as Tywin's men got their hands on him. And if there happened to be a child, he would then have plotted to make this child king.

[ARYa_Nym]

Maybe Robert and the Starks wouldn't have rebelled if he had made of with Cersei instead. Tywin would have started a rebellion. Just because he was waiting for Elia to die doesn't mean that he would have been fine with Rhaegar turning Cersei into a whore. His honor would have been too deeply affected, first by Aerys telling him that his family is not high-born enough for royal marriage, then by Rhaegar abducting Cersei, making her his mistress. People would have laughed at him, and he couldn't abide that. He would not have waited peacefully for a year before Rhaegar shows up again to make his intentions regarding Cersei known. I don't know if he would have registered complaint with Aerys about this (who would have toasted him), but Rhaegar would have been a dead man as soon as Tywin's men got their hands on him. And if there happened to be a child, he would then have plotted to make this child king.

I don't think that Rhaegar made Lyanna into a whore. I think he took a second wife.

Tywin would just kill the first wife.

If Rhaegar hadn't looked elsewhere for his third child Elia still would have died. Tywin still would have presented Cersei as her replacement.

[Awakened Edna]

Rhaegar ran off with Lyanna, and either she was willing or not, but has anyone discussed that Rhaegar may have done this because he was beginning to suffer the Targaryan insanity? Seems like that dragon blood runs a little hot (ask Charlie Sheen) and makes people do all kinds of crazy things. The previous accounts of Rhaegar were that he was a pretty gallant guy, talented and attractive, but maybe he went Targaryan mad.

Also, the discussions of whether we should judge the characters by 20th century standards...This is speculative fiction, and although it shadows our medieval past in ways, it is a different world, but I think the the genius of GRRM is that his characters question their cultural values just as we do today and we see the clash of a world clinging to old values and mores but looking for better ways of grappling with the their reality. For example, the Targaryan incest was expected, but not completely accepted, which is one reason Cersei rejects a public coupling with her brother and Jaime still holds the Targaryan example up to excuse what he wants. This is also why we see everyone, everyone question how rulership should be determined: should it be inherited, and if so, through gender, bloodline, what decendents? Should rule go to the fittest? If so, does that justify Jaime's kingslaying? Are kinslaying and guestslaying sometimes ok, like for Tyrion, but not for the Freys? The central question of the novels seems to be how humans make sense of a world where values change.

[ARYa_Nym]

I think Rhaegar might have had Depression or maybe he was Bipolar but lots of people irl have that. It can be a life ruiner but it really doesn't have to be. It depends on the person, situation, and the intensity.

I also think that Rhaegar might have loved Lyanna-his last words were a woman's name. Dany doesn't know Lyanna's name as she calls her Rhaegar's northern girl.

He was still very much influenced by the prophecy though. If I recall correctly Aerys and Rhaella were forced to marry because of this very prophecy.

Being in love with Lyanna and being prophecy obsessed aren't mutually exclusive. I think they both had a part to play in his actions.

[Kuther2000]

Average cheese. I gave you a hypothetical situation. I didn't say that is what happen. I said it is what could have happened about Baelor Hightower. Like I also said, she could hypothetically not have told Oberyn that she had changed her mind about Baelor, but the marriage agreement with Rhaegar had already been bought forth. Her mother wasn't going to let that marriage slip from their fingers. You aren't even really paying attention to what I said. After a marriage was truly agreed upon, she couldn't have just said no. I also guess that you would run off and leave your wife or husband and children if you found someone better too. You keep talking about your parents so I guess your father cheated on your mom and ran away with someone else with not a word before they had decided to get divorced.

Because this is essentially what Rhaegar did.

I am also inclined to believe that he probably had a little Targaryen madness to him just not in the huge doses of Aerys.

Stop bringing up divorce. This would not be an option in Westeros.

I just believe that the situation could have been handled differently, but then we wouldn't have a story to read.

[Winterfell is Burning]

This is just wrong. Olenna tyrell got out of a targaryen marriage.

Was is the rightful heir of the Iron Throne? I doubt it, because if it was the case this would be specifically stated- Olenna would brag about turning down a King.

[baelor Hightower. A pretty lad, and my sister was half in love with him until he had the misfortune to fart once in our presence. I promptly named him Baelor Breakwind, and after that Elia couldn’t look at him without laughing.... Had Elia wed him in place of Rhaegar Targaryen, she might be in Oldtown with her children growing tall around her. He wondered how many lives had been snuffed out by that fart.]

The way its written its pretty clear that absent the dude farting she would've married him. I think its pretty clear she was given an option and she chose not to marry him, because he farted.

No, read it again. It DOES NOT say Elia was going to marry Baelor, or that she had the choice. It only says:

1) Elia had a crush on Baelor Hightower;

2) If she married him, she would probably still be alive.

And that's all.

[Dragonfish]

No, read it again. It DOES NOT say Elia was going to marry Baelor, or that she had the choice. It only says:

1) Elia had a crush on Baelor Hightower;

2) If she married him, she would probably still be alive.

And that's all.

They were visiting Baelor Hightower to see if he was suitable match for Elia.

[Winterfell is Burning]

They were visiting Baelor Hightower to see if he was suitable match for Elia.

Actually, they were going to Lannisport, Oldtown was just in the way. Jaime was the main goal.