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Goodkind 51: Kahl Scratch Fever

Myshkin

By Myshkin,
in Literature

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goodomens Sellsword

goodomens

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Hmmm...if nothing else, this whole conversation of TG's purported conspiracy made me look up some stuff. I've not seen anything specific referencing 1999 as a benchmark date, but this articleand this article about a lot of the same thing, talk about the Big 6 publishers and 2010 and Apple and the current DOJ lawsuit...don't know if it's actually part of what TG's trying to get at though...

The DOJ lawsuit reflects the accuracy of the "Big Six" continuing to work in collusion.

Early beginnings of the collusion:

http://library.findlaw.com/1997/Nov/1/131060.html

Note where the New York Times announced in 1995 it would demand "all rights" for works by its writers. This demand for "all rights" is the groundwork for what publishing houses eventually colluded to enforce. Without collusion, there would have been a feeding frenzy among the big houses and authors. Inevitably, authors would have won out and the landscape would be very different today.

Also see numerous lawsuits like this one:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/13/business/media/13ebooks.html

The "all rights" and copyright assignee demands caused a minor uproar in author/agent circles. Eventually the language of publishing contracts was tuned to specify electronic, printed, and audio editions, broken down by region. However, not agreeing to provide electronic and printed rights, in the publisher's territory, means no deal and no book gets printed. That is absolutely true of the "Big Six" (along with their numerous imprints), and has been so, going back to 1999.

If you're still skeptical, find a major author title that is print published by one house and electronically published by another. While there are a few exceptional examples (J.K. Rowling is one), in almost all instances, the printed pub is also the electronic pub and if you understand the royalty math behind the deals, you would recognize this is only so by force and collusion.

Read about 'Pottermore' here:

http://www.ipbrief.net/2011/06/26/j-k-rowlings-pottermore-a-digital-rights-game-changer/

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Tormund Ukrainesbane Council Member

Tormund Ukrainesbane

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Ok Myshkin, you're on. I can't pull together one of the full Collector's Edition kits, but I can certainly get you a reader copy. Looking forward to your unbiased review. E-mail pm?

I suppose as Arch Bishop of Namble Cock Myshkin can usurp my Role of Chief Scribe of Truthiness, but know that this slight will not go unnoticed, and IMMA DO MY SUMMARY ANYWAY. (as soon as the links to the book on your site start working there goodomens)

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Myshkin Council Member

Myshkin

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I suppose as Arch Bishop of Namble Cock Myshkin can usurp my Role of Chief Scribe of Truthiness, but know that this slight will not go unnoticed, and IMMA DO MY SUMMARY ANYWAY. (as soon as the links to the book on your site start working there goodomens)

My plans to read and review this masterpiece fell through, so it's all yours my child.

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Jaxom 1974 Council Member

Jaxom 1974

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I haven't been following non-PTerry news for awhile. So he's back to writing fantasy?

He never left it. No matter what anyone says.

And Tormund, you realize even after you're done that a hacker can get in there and see what you've been up to, even after you try to erase, right?

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Tormund Ukrainesbane Council Member

Tormund Ukrainesbane

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And Tormund, you realize even after you're done that a hacker can get in there and see what you've been up to, even after you try to erase, right?

Not sure what you're talking about.

but anyway....

The First Confessor: The Legend of Magda Searus

Chapter 1 - 17

(Background, this story takes place some time prior to the SoT books, during the war between the New World and the Old world) Despite not having Dick and Kay along for the ride this time around we're directly off to the races with the Tairynesses. We first meet Maggie as she's in conference with a scullery maid or somesuch who is trying to get her to grab a wizard for some help contacting her recently suicided husband. Said maid is quick to point out that of course Maggie is the only nobleperson who treats the lowly with respect or decency, which leads to a small speech about how everyone, and all life is valuable. We are then informed that dead hubby is of course the First Wizard and a Prophet and a War Wizard! We even get a mention of the war wizard outfit! He jumped off a cliff right after he got back from the Temple of the Winds! That's right, we get humble nobility, speeches, war wizards, and trips to the land of the dead in the first goddam chapter. YES.

Next scene we get introduced to the TFC:LMS edition of the recurring mustache-twirling villain. The "Chief Prosecutor" who goes by the mustache-twirly name of Lothain. We know he's bad because he's mean to the grieving widow. He accuses her dead husband, herself, and everyone else of treason and conspiracy. Turns out that the guys who built the Temple fucked it up for everyone else and he had them all executed. Deadhusband and a few others went to investigate and Deadhusband is the only one who came back, but took a long drop and a sudden stop before telling anyone about it (he told Maggie all about it but she's not telling anyone including us, cause then we couldn't pad an extra hundred pages on the book). He and the rest of "the council" chop off her hair cause she doesn't have any political status and they have to be jerks about it.

Maggie then decides to follow deadhusband into the sweet slumber of death, where there is no pain or suffering or stunningly original new thrillers from bestselling author Terry Goodkind (or do I repeat myself). She decides to take a running jump off the cliff too but decides not to at literally the last second after yet another speech (to herself!) about the sanctity and meaning of life. Thank goodness because otherwise she would have missed out on deadhubby's macguffin suicide note (good thing he was a prophet, how embarrassing for him if she'd have found a different cliff or a rope or something). Anyways, dead hubby wants her to Rise Up and Live Her Life, to Guard Her Mind, and to Seek the Truth. Yeah, it's getting laid on that thick boys and girls. I need another bourbon.

Now fasten in tight children, because this train is just leaving the fucking station. This is Tairy mudderfuggin Goodkind we're talking about. You think there's not going to be a Rahl up in this bitch? Awwww yeah, Maggie's headed home when who should we run into but Alric F. Rahl, M.D. surrounded by a miniature army of D'Hara's finest. Turns out that he and deadhubby were BFF's working on the whole dreamwalker problem. Turns out that Al caught one and tortured him to death to figure out some shit (totally justified of course, Tairy doesn't miss the opportunity to remind us that he pines for the return of Dick Cheney). Old Al is ready to roll out the inaugural use of Ye' Old Rahl Cult Chant to protect everyone from the dreamwalkers at the low low price of everyone in the world swearing personal loyalty to him.

It is of course at this point that the dreamwalker that's been in Maggie's head the whole time tries to kill her. She manages to get the dumb chant in before he can put us out of our misery and he gets shut out. She is of course horribly wounded and Al has to heal her up. In doing so he of course helps her get over deadhusband so there's no real conflict when they presumably almost but not quite hook up later in the book. It's time to march down to the council and demand that everyone attend the Rahl Ball. They really aren't down with establishing a dictatorship but Maggie and Al tell everyone there how to do it anyway just in case. Lothain (who we earn gets a private army as Chief Prosecutor) is back, mustache-a-twirl and accuses them of, of course, treason.

Moving on, Maggie and Al decide that there's some kind of big time conspiracy and that Lothain is probably at the center of it.

Good god, it's too good to be true. It's like every Tairy book all rolled into one.

More tomorrow I reckon.

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MinDonner Council Member

MinDonner

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*falls to my knees and weeps with joy*

I love the existence of a magic bloodline in an Objectivist novel. Some people really are OBJECTIVELY better than you, so just stfu and do as they say!

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Exa Inova Council Member

Exa Inova

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Rise up fellow Lemmings.

To fully understand the premise of this new master piece of thruth its vital to know who is who. Info can be found in previous books of scripture so help me complete the compendium of characters.

Magda: First confessor (to be?)

Alric Rahl: Dictator for life, inventor of the only protection against dreamwalkers which he doesnt share (communist!) but you can buy for eternal submission

Dead hubby: The great war wizard, First Wizard, slick gear wearer (whats his name again? Baltazar?)

Wife of first Wizard: nameless at this point? Will probably get raped to the max before killed (and probably raped again for good measure)

Lothain; Evil do-er for Evuls sake, hater of life, (probably first lemming?)

Sliph: the first whore

...

people we still need to meet:

- Author of the diary which Dick will find 3000 year later still intact

- First dream walker

...

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Antonius Pius Council Member

Antonius Pius

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Dead Hubby was Baraccus or Baracus, which may explain the gold-fetish in his outfit.

the author was called Kolo (short for koloblicin, which is "strong advisor" in High D'Haran), but we don't actually know his name.

I wonder where Merrit will fit into all of this. IIRC, he was supposed to be Magda's wizard. I mean, it says so on the ceiling of the Confessor's palace.

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