Exa Inova Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Indeed, can the noble bird be kin to the evil incarnate chicken?Which kinds of birds are noble or evil? Is a chicken evil even if it doesn't have salmonella?I think a clue might be the inability to fly. Its well know that chickens cant fly (long). Probably weighted down by incarnated evil. Being no biologist I assume that birds like the Kiwi, Ostrich and Penguins are incarnations of evil also. Which would support the logical conclusion that the Dodo is a prime evil incarnation, since it choose death by not flying and leeching on hand outs and mercy from predators not to be eaten instead of rising up (literally) and living its life. I wouldnt be surprised if the Dodo was the national animal of the Bandakarians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthmail Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 They should be at least as noble as goats. Or even more so.What kind of bird was it, though? A sparrow or a condor?It was a Pterodactyl and a Sabre Toothed Lion.Now those are some noble fucking saviors. Can you imagine running from a zombie that is not a zombie through a dark catacomb and suddenly BAM - motherfucking rescue. The only thing that would make it cooler is if it was a Sabre Toothed Pterodactyl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eejit Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Did the bird have a Richard-like gaze? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tormund Ukrainesbane Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Forgot to mention! Both Merritt and dead husband have piercing, distinctive. (Though not necessarily raptor-like) gazes, and, Merritt carries a "sword with a wire wrapped hilt" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 4, 2012 Author Share Posted July 4, 2012 Ok, so I believe we can now properly place these animals on the hierarchy of nobility:At the top we have goats, for obvious reasons.In second place comes the wolf (recall that Tairy himself once owned a wolf, which taught him the nature of nobility).Next comes flight-capable birds (the unladen African swallow being the most noble of this sub-catagory).The fourth spot is reserved for cats (tigers at the top because they are loner badasses, lions at the bottom because they are dependant on each other).Tentatively taking the fifth spot is the pony, because it has a ponytail, which is a very noble hairstyle.After that we have hundreds (thousands? millions?) of other animals which I cannot be bothered to place, so I will just skip to the bottom three:In third to last place is the naked mole rat; this creature is a confused, disgusting, death-choosing mess.In second to last place comes the non-flying birds (I'm including the laden European swallow in this catagory), which by their very nature invite incarnated evil.And at the very bottom we have the lemming. This animal's penchant for whiddly flute solos has led it to the pinnacle of death-choosing. Noble animals only listen to proper guitar based rock, where there are no flutes, and the keyboards are kept in the background.Are there any objections to these placements? Speak now, because once I officially sanction this list it can never be changed. Unless I feel like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkynJay Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 I believe that social insects are actually last, with their hippie, communist social hives. Except fire ants, which kick serious ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreverlad Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Good work Mysh, but a careful reader will remember how supportive Richard was of Horses in book 2. One must believe them to be noble; Tairy actually went out to a ranch and learned about them. The horse he met enjoyed having it's tongue scratched. Thinking on it though, Richard was willing to run at least 1 horse into the ground in an effort to save Kahlan during the series.Perhaps horses are very noble, approved by Dick Rahl himself, though no creature may be so noble as Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Horses, along with donkeys* and oxen, are beasts of burden, and therefore are not noble (unless they have a kickass name). Richard may treat some of his horses well, but only in the same way he would treat his Italian espresso machine well; it is advantageous not to break the thing.*but not mules; mules are an abomination before God, and even life-choosing athiests can't deny that!ETA: I was gonna place mules in the fourth to last spot on the hierarchy of noble animals, but then I decided I couldn't since mules aren't real animals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreverlad Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Well, in all fairness, Richard threatened one of the sisters of the light (or whatever they were called) over the way she was treating the animal. He was pretty damned serious, and through his innate ability to speechify, got her to change her ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myshkin Posted July 5, 2012 Author Share Posted July 5, 2012 Well, in all fairness, Richard threatened one of the sisters of the light (or whatever they were called) over the way she was treating the animal. He was pretty damned serious, and through his innate ability to speechify, got her to change her ways.Yeah, well he didn't want to have to walk all the way to the Old World, now did he?ETA: and I believe they were called the blue ajah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grack21 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 MY BRAIN*explodes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashiara Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 :bowdown: Tormund! God, I've missed this thread!Ever since I donated all my Tairy books to the library a year and a half ago I felt something important was missing, and I didn't know what. Oh Tormund, thank you for taking one for the team and bringing Tairy's words back to me. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antonius Pius Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 The fourth spot is reserved for cats (tigers at the top because they are loner badasses, lions at the bottom because they are dependant on each other). Just out of curiosity, where exactly do you place cougars?I was gonna place mules in the fourth to last spot on the hierarchy of noble animals, but then I decided I couldn't since mules aren't real animals.Good thinking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 And we mustn't forget that other creature of evil, the Giant Fighting Centipede. I seem to recall we also once decided that the Walrus was on the side of Truth, though this was possibly based on its resemblance to a fat capitalist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exa Inova Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 I have a question about the hierarchy of animals, arch bishop. Where do fantasy animals who are not animals since Tairy doesn’t write fairy, rank?I talking about the mighty dragons Scarlet and Gregory (a dragons name if I ever heard one) and the noble Gar, especially Gratch?Also, can insects be last, or at least flies? Remember Gar use blood flies to track their prey. And flies are so valuable to them that they count them.Which brings me to amphibians. Frogs eat flies. Do Gars retaliate when a frog eats a blood fly? Are frog and other amphibious animals ranked high (because they are cold blooded!) or low (descendents of the might dinosaur like the chicken and turkey?)Questions, questions, questions….. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinDonner Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 The answer to all these questions, and any inconsistencies in the hierarchy that may astonishingly slip through the vigorous editing process, is always the following: A WIZARD DID IT. I hope that clears things up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voland Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 Bravo! I've missed this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrathOfTinyKittens Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 One objection, Min, but actually in this case as I mentioned above the answer is rather A RAHL DID IT. Funny because in this case it's literally true since short-tailed gars were created by the Rahls I believe. I think prairie dogs would be at the bottom. Physically gross, living off scavenging the work of their betters, and communal. Bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exa Inova Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 A Rahl did it reminds me why I got fed up with the Dune series. Just like all good comes from Rahl, all good came from an Atreides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaxom 1974 Posted July 5, 2012 Share Posted July 5, 2012 20 ebook pages is like 2 printed pages, right? *busts out the slide rule and penix* Yes, yes it is.I don't know if it's right. I don't know if it's wrong. Feels like an obfuscation though...In third to last place is the naked mole rat; this creature is a confused, disgusting, death-choosing mess. Making a case to raise up the naked mole rat!Ever since I donated all my Tairy books to the library a year and a half ago I felt something important was missing, and I didn't know what. Oh Tormund, thank you for taking one for the team and bringing Tairy's words back to me. :lol:Is this the reason why Greece's economy tanked...? :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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