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Crackpot (or not) theories you think are so nuts, they actually piss you off.


LadyoftheNorth72

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Ned is still alive and a faceless man was beheaded in his place.

Ned is still "alive" because he warged someone or something else just before his death.

Syrio = Meryn Trant (Yep, he's just biding his time.)

Syrio = Illyrio (Hey, we've never seen them together, right?)

Everyone is a secret Targ (Jaime, Cersei, Tyrion, Varys, Darkstar, Edric Dayne, Gendry, Sam, Hot Pie, Hodor)

Dany is Rhaegar's daughter (Because even known Targs must, somehow, also be secret Targs)

Character X is really the child of Character Y based on a throwaway line. (E.g., Ned is really Tywin's son because Arya thinks, at one point, that something in Tywin's face reminds her of Ned)

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Jon will stab Dany through the heart, forging Lightbringer.

Stannis will stab Dany through the heart, finally forging Lightbringer for real.

Jorah will stab Dany through the heart, forging Lightbringer.

etc.

Smacks of fanboy wish fulfillment to me (I HATE DANY SO I'LL HAVE MY FAVE CHARACTER KILL HER BECAUSE HE HAS TO MAKE A MAGIC SWORD, LOLZ!)

Also,

Littlefinger will be king.

Bronn will be king.

:ack:

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I am annoyed by R+L=J theory - not because I would find it crazy or unbelievable, actually I find it really reasonable, but because I feel that stupid for not having it found out by myself. In hindsight, it is really obvious, and makes me feel :bang: .

I am also annyed by Victarion=AA/PTWP theory because he is an uninterestin, dull POV (second only to Areo Hotah) whom I really do not want to turn out to be somewhat special because of a prophecy or something. Plus, he only appears in the fourth book - one would think such an important charater would have to be on screen since the beginning, right?

And when people say that it is a given that the Wall will fall. We do not know it. It is only a theory. The Wall has been standing for 8000 years now. Who can say it will necessarily collapse in the timespan of ASOIAF?

Syrio Forel is alive - a faceless man/Jaqen/ser Whoever ...

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Littlefinger will be king.

Bronn will be king.

:ack:

may I add:

Roose Bolton will be king?

...I can kinda justify it with having them as cousins, not half-siblings; and far more likely than Jon+Arya (who actually do regard each other as siblings), as Jon and Sansa seem to regard each other as kids they grew up with, and no particular sibling bond....

It's no so much a theory, as a random thought that happened to amuse me, and I though might get some amusing reactions; I am, however, adopting it as a favourite crackpot

And it would also be hilarious.

I mean, can you imagine Catelyn's face? I hope there's an afterlife in ASOIAF so she can see this if it happens

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And when people say that it is a given that the Wall will fall. We do not know it. It is only a theory. The Wall has been standing for 8000 years now. Who can say it will necessarily collapse in the timespan of ASOIAF?

This! What's even more annoying is when it's followed by "and Jon with what remains of the Night's Watch has to move south and unite the North against Others, blah blah blah". If the 700 feet tall wall made of giant blocks of ice collapses there won't be anything left of the castles nearby and people living in them. Some of the people who were underground in the wormways at that moment might survive, but they would be buried under a layer of crushed ice and I highly doubt they could manage to dig themselves out.

And it would also be hilarious.

I mean, can you imagine Catelyn's face? I hope there's an afterlife in ASOIAF so she can see this if it happens?

Catelyn: WHAT.

Robb: What.

Bran looking on via weirwood internet: What.

Ned: ...

Lyanna: Ned, I guess now you can tell them..

Rhaegar: *looks on and silently wonders what Catelyn and the rest are freaking out about*

But Arya's and Tyrion's reactions would be most interesting, imo.

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This! .... If the 700 feet tall wall made of giant blocks of ice collapses there won't be anything left of the castles nearby and people living in them. Some of the people who were underground in the wormways at that moment might survive, but they would be buried under a layer of crushed ice and I highly doubt they could manage to dig themselves out.

Well, the wall HAS to fall, or the story is going nowhere. I think a breach is a given, although I'm not sure about the whole wall going down.

Catelyn: WHAT.

Robb: What.

Bran looking on via weirwood internet: What.

Ned: ...

Lyanna: Ned, I guess now you can tell them..

Rhaegar: *looks on and silently wonders what Catelyn and the rest are freaking out about*

But Arya's and Tyrion's reactions would be most interesting, imo.

Exaclty. Wouldn't this be GREAT? And much more funnier than "Dany Sue and Jon Stue lived happily ever after" :)

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Well, the wall HAS to fall, or the story is going nowhere. I think a breach is a given, although I'm not sure about the whole wall going down.

I don't mind a breach or magic going out of the wall (but not permanently!), it's the idea of it being physically destroyed (falling) by Sam's horn that I hate.

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I don't mind a breach or magic going out of the wall (but not permanently!), it's the idea of it being physically destroyed (falling) by Sam's horn that I hate.

I actually really like it :D but it's a matter of opinions I guess

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