Jaehaerys Sand Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Jon: So, to conclude, I'm letting all the wildlings past the wall so that they will not be killed north of the wall and turned into wights, therefore depriving the others of dead bodies to use against us. Bowen Marsh: Jeez, actually, when you look at it, that is a BRILLIANT plan! The enemy of my enemy and all that. Wow. Thanks, LC. But he DID actually do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaehaerys Sand Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 (The Riverlands, AGOT)Joffrey: Hey, what's going on here?Arya: We're playing with swords, and we'd like to be left alone.Joffrey: Oh, that seems reasonable. Come on, Sansa.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Astapor, ASOS)Daenerys: I will trade you my ships, my possessions, and a dragon for all of your unsullied.Slavers: No way, even if your dragon was worth that much, we could never control it. We need some unsullied to defend ourselves.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(King's Landing, ASOS)Tyrion: Littlefinger is the one who told Catelyn Stark I hired a man to kill her son.Tywin: Well why didn't you say so sooner? I'll have him thrown in the Black cells at once. No one messes with my family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HyacinthGirl Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 But he DID actually do this. That's my point, Jon was sensible, Bowen Marsh was an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternally_Theirs Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Tyrion: So, niece, I am sending you to Dorne, you will be safe there and all.Myrcella: Actually, no thanks. I was reading this book about inhabitants of Dorne. Here it says that there is an outlaw, Darkstar.Tyrion: So?Myrcella: So he is a bad man. He might try to do something to me. I'd rather not take the risk. All Dornish are nice and all, but better be safe than sorry. Don't you agree, uncle Tyrion?Tyrion: Well, you may be right. Forget the trip it is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arryn_stark_bannerman Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Aegon the Conqueror: Here's a land I have absolutely no rights to whatsoever. Maybe I'll just stay on Dragonstone.Stannis: This "glowing sword" feels fake.Tywin: I intend to marry Cersei to Prince Rhaegar, as a reward for my incredibly competent service to you for many years as your hand.Aerys: Sure.Bran climbs up to the tower of Winterfell and catches Jaime and Cersei playing cards. No innuendo implied. He nearly falls and Jaime helps him into the tower, then teaches him how to play. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbison from Ibben Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 Maester Cressen: It is vitally important that I assassinate Mellisandre. Let's see. I can't overpower her, so stabbing her with a knife would be a bad plan. I'm lousy with a crossbow. My best bet is to poison her. I must be very careful, however, to use a poison that she won't be familiar with. The leaf that forms the basic ingredient for The Strangler comes from near Asshai, so whatever I do I shouldn't use that. She probably knows an antidote, and takes it every morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Independent George Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 That's my point, Jon was sensible, Bowen Marsh was an idiot. Actually, I think Jon's exact words were "Are you fools blind?". That's a slightly less convincing argument to most people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HyacinthGirl Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Actually, I think Jon's exact words were "Are you fools blind?". That's a slightly less convincing argument to most people. Yeah, I was paraphrasing... but you can hardly blame him for being so frank, said fools were being so blind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternally_Theirs Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Eddard: You know what? Screw you, you, you and you! I will take up Cersei's offer and I will go ahead and join the Nightwatch. Joffrey, you are being an idiot. I can expose you and your siblings too! I know the truth! I'm the one who will save this realm!Joffrey: And how so? Don't forget I can order your death!Eddard: Hey, everyone, Joff is a b.....Joffrey: Okay, okay, stop, you are free!Eddard: *in sing-song voice* Joffrey is a bastard and his siblings are too! Pleased and thank you! *gets up and walks away*Everyone: Wow, a twist we didn't expectMyrcella: I knew that I was a Lannister. Hey, Tommen, let's go after Lord StarkTommen: SureNarrator: And Eddard Stark adopted them, and everybody lived happily. Except Joffrey and Cersei, but who cares about them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winterfell is Burning Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Rhaegar: I'm in love with Lyanna, we should always be together...But the realm needs me, and I need to call a Grand Council to remove my father from power before he causes a war or something. Plus, I've already got a wife and children. Tywin: Son, I understand you like this crofter's daughter you met on the road, but you are too young to get married, and you barely know her. I'll just have the marriage anulled, and after a few years, if you decide that's what you really want to do with your life, we'll see.Tyrion: You're right. Thanks, daddy, you're the best.Cersei: Jaime, you should join the Kingsguard.Jaime: HELL NO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternally_Theirs Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Eddard Stark: By this equasion, if I do this and that, it would result in negative number, which is not good for me. Oh, I know!*some time later*Eddard: My King, here's the note. It should be easy for you to read. Have a good day. *leaves*Robert Baratheon: *reading some weird sentences in coded writing* Holy ****! Guards, I want the Lannisters arrested, and Lord Baelish as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Independent George Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 Tyrion: Is this how justice is done in the Vale?Lysa: Yes.Sweetrobin: Make the bad man fly!Tyrion: Splortch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jern Ormen Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Robert's Deathbed: Game of ThronesRobert: Out all of ya! Ned, stay. I need you to write down my last will and testament concerning the succession after my death. Ned: Actually, it might be a good idea to have everyone stay. And bring in the rest of The Small Council as wellRobert: Why the hell would I do that? *coughs*Ned: Well, what you are about to say will determine the restructuring of Westerosi political power and the future of your royal line. Isn't it somewhat important that you have at least a few important people here to bear witness to your last few decrees as King?Robert: Damnit Ned, you have a point. I guess I should have other people present for this. _______________________________________________________________________________________Ned, after discovering the truth about Cersei and Jamie. Ned: Well, I certainly shouldn't tell Cersei about what I've found out. In fact, I'll sit on this revelation, get my daughters back to Winterfell, and go find Robert. He will definitely want to know about this. ________________________________________________________________________________________Dany, when Khal Drogo gets injured: Game of ThronesDany: You are hurt, my sun and starsDrogo: This is only the bite of a flyDany: Still, you don't know where that arakh has been. The wound could fester. Mirri Daz Muur: I could treat the wound. I am practiced in the healing arts, and have cured many illnesses among my people/ Random Bloodrider: Khaleesi, this woman is maegi. Dont let her dress the blood of my blood's wound. Dany: You know what? You're right. Given the time it took for me to arrive at the village my sun and stars sacked, she was probably raped several times before I arrived to stop it. Not to mention his khalasar just slaughtered or enslaved everyone she ever knew, loved, or otherwise had affection for. Go away Mirri. We don't need your help to wash and stitch a wound. More to come Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
birdsong66 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 NED: Catelyn, I will find the proof we need to go to Robert. You must return to Winterfell.CATELYN: We will ride first thing in the morning.NED: No, no riding. You will take a ship, it's safer and faster.CATELYN: Yes, Of course. Oh, and I'm taking the girls with me.NED: I agree. __________NED: Since my son Bran has suffered a debilitating accident, may never wake let alone walk again, and my beloved wife appears to have come undone altogether, I think it best I stay in Winterfell, Your Grace.------------NED: Catelyn, I have only ever loved you. Jon is not my son. I have never slept with another woman. It has, and always will be, you. But that's all I can say on the subject.CATELYN: Thankyou. -------------TYRION: Where do whores go?CHARLIE SHEEN: Who cares, man, we pay them to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternally_Theirs Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Lady Stoneheart: Hang her.Brienne: Before I die, I have one word to say.Lady Stoneheart: Say itBrienne: Peach!Lady Stoneheart: Hold on, my memory is returning. Yes, I remember, we were once friends. Well, my mistake, release her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Anarch Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 WinterfellNed: We have to go South, if the Lannister's murdered Jon Arryn they might murder Robert too.Cat: In that case, be sure to take enough warriors to ensure you aren't dangerously outnumbered by Lannister bannermen when you arrive in King's Landing.King's LandingCat: It's so nice to see you again Littlefinger. But where have you brought me, a whorehouse?Littlefinger: Of course not! This is my wife and her daughters! How very dear you!Cat: Sorry, I just thought....Littlefinger: What? That I still hadn't got over you and thus had become a bitter and twisted pervert? Seven gods, Cat, that was ages ago! Of course I'd find another women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternally_Theirs Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Bran: Theon, where is Robb? Did he send you to help us?Theon: Actually, he did. He entrusted the good of Winterfell to me. He sent me to be your advisor! We'll do great, you and I!Bran: *looks over his shoulder* Hey, Meera! The dude is lying!Meera: Well, then, I can only do one thing.... *stabs Theon* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ned's Epic Beard Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Ned Stark enters the throne room while Jaime Lannister sits on the Iron Throne. King and Tywin's bodies lay dead on the ground.Jaime: My lord let me explain! King was about to burn the city so I slew hin and my father because I wanted to save countless lives in the future.Ned: Good riddance and good work. Ser Jaime I appoint you along with Barrister Selmy, Arthur Dayne and Brienne of tarth as my kings guard. Tyrion of house lannister and Davos of house seaworth will be hand of the king (as you can see I've two hands *shows his hands*). While we are at it, I want Iron throne to be moved to Winterfell. My wife cat just gave birth to twin boys. I intend to name them Robb(with double "B") and and Jon Stark.Jaime: As you command your grace.Ned: These people to be hanged as soon as possible *gives jaime a list*.Jaime: May I ask the reason your grace?Ned: My third adviser "Blood-raven" tells me that these people intend to commit atrocities in the future.One more thing! You're are permitted to bone your sister with royal permission.Jaime: How do you..? Well thank you! You are most gracious. Lyanna appears.Ned: Good to see you my dear sister!Lyanna: Good to see you brother. Lets go home and live happily! Hodor: Hodor!Robert: Robert!Lyanna and Ned: Such a cute couple! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eternally_Theirs Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Bravos, A Feast for CrowsThe Kind Man: You may stay here as long as you wish, but in order to do that you must serve. It is not an easy task, you must give up everything that makes you an individual, your very self to the Many Faced Gods. Your habits, your memories, your dreams, your heart, your soul, your very face to satisfy our quasi-totalitarian religious cults membership conditions. Then you must spend your entire life killing people without really knowing why, just because we say so.Ayra: Sod this I'm finding another inn!The Red Keep, A Game of ThronesCynical Lord: See, there goes Lord Stark, Hand of the King.Naive Lord: The Queenslayer?Cynical Lord: Silence, he might hear you! Say what you will, whatever his methods, he has held the realm together for decades with an iron fist, ever since that night at the Red Keep when he and Renly butchered the Lannisters in their beds. He has spies everywhere, so watch your tongue.Naive Lord: But he is a monster, ever since his rule began life has become unbearable!Cynical Lord: True, Lord Stark has no time for tourneys or extravagances, but he is doing what is necessary. Robert beggared the realm. And he always carries out his own executions, remember that.Sentimental Lady: Oh but he's quite lovely really.Cynical Lord: Don't be ridiculous, dear.Ned: *sigh*I like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaius Martell Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Ned: (to himself) Oh? Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen are all bastards born of incest? I know exactly who not to tell of my plan to inform the world; Queen Cersei. She's crazy, and would likely have me killed.---Robert: Say, Lancel, this wine tastes stronger than usual. Perhaps I should slow down on drinking it.---Ned: Welcome back, Robert! I've got some news for you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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