Your craziest theories you don't believe yourself

[Silmarien]

:lmao: :lmao:

Umm, Patchface will end up king. I dunno man, there's something inherently wrong about that creepy man child, and GRRM said that whoever ends up sitting the Iron Throne will be the person 'least suspected'... :uhoh:

Gendry and Arya will sit on the Iron Throne at the end. It's so obvious, I mean, come on. That, or Asha Greyjoy and Ser Justin Massey will rule - that's if GRRM really wants to mess with us.

Jaime and Brienne will hook up and have lots of babies (blond! and strong! with great swordfighting skills!).

Dany will burn KL to the ground during the fight against the Others, as an ironic fulfillment of her mad father's desire ("let him be king of ashes").

Lady Stoneheart will revive Jon Snow.

Dany will marry Ser Jorah, and possibly Stannis (yes, Targ polygamy - Stannis won't care because he isn't a hypersexual person anyway; no jealousy either), to reproduce her sigil of the three-headed dragon. Ser Jorah will also ride a dragon. What? Bears can ride dragons! Besides GRRM said not all dragon riders need be Targs.

Melissandre is AA reborn. She's just really, really, really, REALLY confused about her visions.

Eddard Stark's mother is a Targaryen (secret one of course....named....Visenyra, Rhaella's sister).

Varys is really Rhaegar in disguise (hey, he's fat, it's been a few years, give the guy a break). That's why he gained weight and shaved his head. They found a peasant boy stand in for his fight on The Trident against Robert, which is why "Rhaegar" died so easily. All they had to do was dye the peasant's hair silvery and to promise that if he died, his family would get 500 gold dragons. How he managed to fool King Aerys II, his father, well, Rhaegar was a clever one.

Elia, Rhaenys, and Aegon survived the Sack (using stand-in peasants of course since body doubles are so easily found) by hiding in the tunnels of the Red Keep. They are still hiding, afraid to come out, but Rhaenys wargs her cat Balerion to bring them food. (Winterfell parallel, see what I did there?)

Euron "Crow's Eye" Greyjoy and the One-Eyed Crow, Bloodraven, are the same person. BR has a tree-body double North of the Wall to help Bran learn his greenseeing/warging skills.

Ravens flew overhead right before Brienne's hanging by the BwB - Bran and BR warged them and since all Brienne could get out were choking noises, they said "LADY STONEHEART, LET BRIENNE, POD AND SER HYLE LIVE. CAW." "TELL LS THAT BRAN IS ALIVE. CORN CORN CORN". And LS listened because well, the Ravens, dude.

K I'm done.

[Silmarien]

WAIT! One more. Prophesies of the Undying:

Dany has already had her three betrayals (she might be unaware of them, but they have happened), but not the ones we think -

1. Once for blood - Connington attempting to use her Targaryen blood to wed her to "Aegon" in order to cement his claim to the Iron Throne; also, Connington (unknowingly)/Varys/Ilyrio passing off fake "Aegon" as her blood nephew, with a better claim to the throne - this is a betrayal if he is not truly Rhaegar's son.
   
2. Once for gold, Quentyn trying to steal Rhaegal and Viserion in exchange for Dorne's motherlode of golden dragons to the sellswords; for the Tattered Prince/Windblown to take Pentos. And for Dorne to use as battle weapons. Better than GOLD. (Or, Ser Jorah, for spying; Brown Ben Plumm doesn't make sense - yes he switched sides, but it wasnt personal; he did it out of survival instinct (without use of Dragons the Yunkish forces and Volanteen fleet would surely win) and not more gold
   
3. Once for love - Illyrio (yes he counts twice) because he has secretly been supporting "Aegon" since birth, NOT Dany and Viserys, who is really his son by wife, Serra Blackfyre. (no one claimed that one person couldn't commit two of the betrayals :D). And as a twist, Illyrio isn't betraying for gold, but for LOVE.
   

[Silmarien]

Queen Old Nan and King Greatjohn Umber (there's a short romance in book 7) end up claiming the Iron Throne, because they're the only two who managed to survive the Ice Zombie invasion.

The Mad Mouse absconds with Sansa from the Vale, spoiling his plans, but is intercepted by Cersei's tapestries being delivered to LF. Sansa sneaks away and runs into the BwB, and meets Lady Stoneheart. Lady Stoneheart revives Jaime for fulfilling his oath (he happened to have just been killed shortly beforehand), and Brienne serves as her protector. Jaime, Brienne, and Sansa abscond to...THE ISLE OF TARTH (couldn't think of anywhere safer).

K that was kinda fun.

Oh, and Rhaenys and Aegon were never heirs to the Iron Throne. They are bastards, born of incest between Oberyn and Elia Martell, secretly. No wonder he is so pissed about her death he fights the Mountain! :cool4: We know Oberyn was kinda kinky that way. So "Aegon" is in for some disappointment....("Aegon" gets his Targ features because both Elia and Oberyn have recessive Targ genes). Rhaegar got cuckholded! Cersei/Jaime was just history repeating itself.

That makes Jon Snow Rhaegar's only child, even if he's a bastard, he has a better claim than Aegon who is a double-Martell.

How's that for another twisted incest crackpot? At least it's more believable than Ned/Lyanna (gak :stillsick: ).

[a free shadow]

there he met Gerion who killed his ass and stole his ID and everything else,just for a laugh.

It was worth starting a thread just for stannis rhaegar and this :)

But I hope it will not end there.

[the Remarkable Other]

1.Dany is Rhaegar's daughter ("child of three"). Aerys was actually a normal person, but his wife's affair with his son drove him to madness.

2.Syrio Forrel is still alive. His true name is Ilyrio Mopatis. He's just very good at disguising himself. Note that Ilyrio appears in the Red Keep while "Syrio" is employed to train Arya.

3.The Hound is alive, under the guise of Ser Shadrich. What better way to hide than assuming the identity of a knight, when we know how much he hates them. Of course he is also very good at disguises.

4.The next fake AAR is Ramsay Bolton. He also has blue eyes, now he has the sword and after a bit of dabbling with Mel he will be shadowless. (He will probably use a shadow baby to assassinate Roose). Thus he fits the "slayer of lies" prophecy perfectly.

5.The mummer's dragon will turn out to be Jon Snow, the trueborn son of Howland Reed and Lyanna, who fell in love at Harrenhall. Howland convinced his dying mistress to tell Ned that the baby's father was Rhaegar and he will try to use Jon as his pawn in the game of thrones. Littlefinger has been in the employ of Howland Reed from the beggining.

[Fragile Bird]

1.Dany is Rhaegar's daughter ("child of three"). Aerys was actually a normal person, but his wife's affair with his son drove him to madness.

2.Syrio Forrel is still alive. His true name is Ilyrio Mopatis. He's just very good at disguising himself. Note that Ilyrio appears in the Red Keep while "Syrio" is employed to train Arya.

3.The Hound is alive, under the guise of Ser Shadrich. What better way to hide than assuming the identity of a knight, when we know how much he hates them. Of course he is also very good at disguises.

4.The next fake AAR is Ramsay Bolton. He also has blue eyes, now he has the sword and after a bit of dabbling with Mel he will be shadowless. (He will probably use a shadow baby to assassinate Roose). Thus he fits the "slayer of lies" prophecy perfectly.

5.The mummer's dragon will turn out to be Jon Snow, the trueborn son of Howland Reed and Lyanna, who fell in love at Harrenhall. Howland convinced his dying mistress to tell Ned that the baby's father was Rhaegar and he will try to use Jon as his pawn in the game of thrones. Littlefinger has been in the employ of Howland Reed from the beggining.

Oh my, you have an evil mind. Dany is Rhaeger's daughter. How could I have missed that!

[the Remarkable Other]

Oh my, you have an evil mind. Dany is Rhaeger's daughter. How could I have missed that!

Thank you. I do try. :)

[a free shadow]

Where are my likes when I need them most :tantrum:

[Fragile Bird]

1.Dany is Rhaegar's daughter ("child of three"). Aerys was actually a normal person, but his wife's affair with his son drove him to madness.

I try to walk 4 or 5k every morning, and as I was walking I could not get the thought out of my head that this could actually be true!

Rhaegar leaves the Tower of Joy and returns to King's Landing. He goes to visit mom and says to her, dad's such a shit, I really love you mommy, and Rhaella says, yes he is a mad shit, love me darling like only a true Targ can.......9 months later, Dany is born.

See, the problem is GRRM is screwing with our heads. :bang:

[the Remarkable Other]

I'm not sure, but I certainly hope that Rhaella and Viserys were already on Dragonstone by the time Rhaegar returned from the Tower of Joy. Otherwise :ack:

[Silverin]

I'm not sure, but I certainly hope that Rhaella and Viserys were already on Dragonstone by the time Rhaegar returned from the Tower of Joy. Otherwise :ack:

No they weren't. They fled during or just right before the sack of KL. Dany was born nine month after the sack, if I remember Jaime even remembers at some time that after Aerys killed someone (if I remember correctly oneof his short lived Hand, the one before the last, who refused to help him burn the city? But others can correct me) he raped his wife. And many think that was when Dany was convinced. But it can be that she was in her mothers belly more than 9 month, or fewer (and her father is the knight, Darry if I remember correctly, since in that case Aerys is definietly not her father).

So no matter how tempting the idea is Rhaegar is probably not her father. Though he could have fathered Viserys. If you want the mom/son incest. :stillsick:

[Faint]

I have a hard time actually believing that Jaime and Cersei are Targaryens but I do think there is an abundance of evidence to back up that claim should it prove to be true. I think it always falls apart though when it comes to the mechanics of how their parentage can actually be proved to the realm at large.

[RaiyneStark]

That Bran flying will mean Bran will be one of the 3 heads, rather than seeing through crows.

Well I think it's highly likely tht bran will warg a dragon.

My other theory that I kind of believe is that Lady Dustin is not a bitter jilted lover, but a Stark loyalist who told Theon all those things because she thought they would be repeated to Ramsey and Roose. This would make them trust her. But she will turn on them and help lead to their gruesome deaths.

No matter what gruesome death Ramsey and Roose meet, I want it to be at the hands of a woman (or women) or Nymeria's pack of she-wolves!

[chris999]

I think 3 books at 15 years is a plausible expectation for the series. But it is also possible for GRRM to take less time. But I am not expecting him to necessarilly bring a new book each three years.

Where I do disagree is that I actually think that he can have a satisfactory finish in three books and I don't find it more implausible than four if those three will just be more alike the first three books than the latest two which is what I am expecting. What I do find implausible is him finishing it in two books but got to agree to disagree about the three books being sufficient.

Personally, I would rather he give us 3 more books just because I love them. But I think he could still give us a satisfactory ending with only 2 more books as long as something drastic happens to quickly get the people unified...ahem... The Wall falls down.

[Ednawolf]

Sansa will marry Hot Pie because he makes the best lemon cakes in westeros.

[Ser Lepus]

O.K. Here I go:

Lyanna disliked Robert and was in a relationship with another man, but not with Rhaegar. Her lover was Howland Reed.

When Howland Reed was roughed at the tourney of Harrenhal, Lyanna donned the armor of the Knight of the Smiling Tree, and avenged him. Aerys ordered Rhaegar to capture that mystery knight, and Lyanna managed to defeat him too, but not without accidentally revealing her true identity.

Rhaegar was so greatly impressed that didn´t tell anybody save Elia of Dorne that Lyanna was the mystery knight, and gave her the Crown of Beauty as recognition of her skill with weapons, not of her beauty (she defeated him, so the Crown should have been hers by rights), but everybody assumed that Rhaegar was in love with Lyanna, or even that they were lovers.

Later Howland Reed become friends with the Stark kids, revealed to Lyanna that he was a seer or a warg or something like that, and used his mistical, exotic charm to seduce her.

When Lyanna realized she was pregnant she was all "oh, shit, dad is going to kill Howland" and asked her friend Rhaegar to help her escape to Dorne, where her friend and wannabe future sister-in-law Ashare Dayne would give her refuge until she gave birth.

Meanwhile, the Starks made an inquiry and came to believe that Lyanna had escaped with Rhaegar, so they went to King´s Landing, where Aerys killed them.

When Rhaegar realized what was going on, he did the only thing he thought could help stop the war: He went to Starfall with his most loyal kingsguards, and retrieved Lyanna, but she was still worried for Howland and her bastard baby, so she said "if you take me to the North, I will say that you raped me and that this baby is yours" so Rhaegar left her in the Tower Of Joy, guarded by his kingsguards and sent word to Howland, expecting him to be more sensible than Lyanna.

Rhaegar sent a message to Ned telling him the truth, but Ned wouldn´t believe it, and even if he believed, he wouldn´t confess that his sister and friend had dishonoured their family (Robert would be able to kill both Lyanna and Howland, and anyways, Aerys had killed Lord Rickard and Brandon, so the war was already unavoidable). Robert killed Rhaegar while the latter was trying to tell him the truth.

After the end of the war Ned and Howland went to the Tower Of Joy, where they met the kingsguards who were watching Lyanna; they had learned about the Battle of the Fork, the Sack of King´s Landing and the death of their prince and king too late to do anything (the Tower of Joy was an isolated location in the mountains of Dorne), but they knew Ned or Robert or Howland would go there for Lyanna, and were wainting for them to take revenge.

After killing the knights Ned decided to allow Lyanna to go with Holand to Greywater Watch and keep forever secret what had really happened (if people ever learned the truth, they would ask for Lyanna and Howland´s heads). So Howland, Lyanna and their baby daughter Meera went to the Neck, while Ned gave Ashara the sword of Arthur Dayne, and took his (and Ashara´s) bastard son Jon with him to the North.

[the Remarkable Other]

snip

Very elaborate and very devious. Is your full name Ser Lepus of House Baelish, perchance? :bowdown:

And now my own theory:

Aegon VI is in reality a Blackfyre descendant and Ilyrio's son. Of course people have speculated much about this. But why would Varys assist with such a scheme? It has also been speculated that he is a Blackfye himself or at least a supporter of their cause. All of these I consider to be true, but I suspect Varys's involvement to be even greater. Because he is not an eunuch. And not a male for that matter. He is in fact Aegon's mother and the wife of Ilyrio Mopatis. She (Varys) was a Blackfyre who infiltrated the RedKeep, in an effort to supplant the Targaryen Dinasty and place herself and her husband on the throne. To achieve this she purposefully gained weight and shaved her hair, in order to pose as an eunuch. After the brutal death of baby Aegon, she realized there is a much easier way and so she gave birth to Aegon Mopatis Blackfyre Targaryen, nine months after Ilyrio's secret visit to the RK and started her masterplan.

Proof: everytime Varys is in court, she is described as being powdered and perfumed. What are these if not subtle hints from the author that Varys is in fact a female?

[corbon]

Young Littlefinger (recovered from his dueling wound and leaving Riverrun just in time to run into Rhagear and Lyanna) started the Rebellion by changing the contents of a message from Lyanna to her family explaining things. His first venture into random chaos in action sees Brandon die a horrible death...

Its possible, and fits the limited evidence that we know, just very unlikely. So it is my favourite thery that I don't believe. But possibly not carzy enough for this thread.

[Lyanna Stark]

The player Sansa Stark persuades queen Daenerys I Targaryen to bestow Riverrun on whichever man Sansa decides to marry for love, and in so doing making him a good match for her and she will rule the Riverlands (and whatever other lands Littlefinger manages to give her before she pushes him out the Moon Door) with love and an iron fist ever after. Edmure will be out of the picture as he is still a prisoner at Casterly Rock and nobody wants a Frey to hold Riverrun anyway so why not Mr Sansa Stark (whomever it ends up being).

Since Sansa trained under LF she will know how to get wealthy as well, and how to placate the Tyrells, Martells or whatever is left of the other great houses. Since she is both rich and awesome, she will start a competing bank and outmanoeuvre the Iron Bank of Bravoos and make the Lannisters look poor.

[Towel]

They've all been in purgatory this whole time. And jacobs twin was the smoke monster.